Chapter Text
Regulus’s alarm beeped aggressively, and he moaned, rolling over in bed and slamming his hand down on it to shut it up. He squinted into the early morning light of his room for a moment, trying to remember why he could possibly be waking up at this hour. Oh. That’s right.
It was his first day of school—real, American, school. He was starting a year late, in his ‘sophomore’ year, as Sirius had called it. Regulus’s whole summer had been spent worrying about today. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to force himself to get up. Being late on his first day would set a bad tone for the rest of the year, and Regulus knew it was embarrassing to start a whole year late no matter how much his friends tried to convince him it would be fine.
After a few minutes of inner turmoil, he dragged himself out of bed and down the short hallway to the bathroom. Regulus still wasn’t really used to living with Sirius, even after three years away from his parents in France. He always treaded lightly and never spoke unless he was spoken to, habits from his childhood he hadn’t been able to break. Sirius had helped him so much when he first came to America, he had been surprisingly patient and gentle and for the most part, everything Regulus had needed at the time.
As he brushed his teeth, he reached under his sleep shirt and clasped his hand around the cross that hung around his neck, down to the middle of his chest. Sirius had been angry when he found out Regulus still wore it, after everything, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go as easily as his brother could.
When he emerged from the bathroom, he found Sirius already sitting at the small circular dining table, drinking coffee without a coaster. The main room was small, as they just lived in an apartment, but Regulus liked it. He liked how you could see into the living from the kitchen, which he walked into as Sirius glanced up from his breakfast.
“Morning, Reggie. The coffee should still be hot if you want some.”
Regulus grunted in response and put a slice of bread in the toaster as he struggled to mentally translate what Sirius had said. This early in the morning, he could barely understand English before he ate breakfast and jumpstarted his brain.
“Coffee.” Sirius said in French, and Regulus ‘aahed’ before lifting the coffee pot and pouring it into the mug that had conveniently been left out. As he waited for his toast to pop, he sipped the coffee and listened to Sirius as he spoke again.
“Are you ready for school? You have everything?”
“Yes.”
“Do you actually know what I’m saying?”
“Yes!”
Regulus huffed as his toast finally sprung out of the toaster, he buttered it hastily and came to sit down at the table opposite Sirius, who had practically finished eating already.
“It’ll be okay, Reggie. I know it seems really scary when you don’t speak English, but you’ll pick it up quick. I did.” Regulus glared at him. Sirius had come here on exchange years before he did, and had elected to stay rather than return to France. Sirius always went on about how he picked up the foreign language so quickly, and how it was ‘incredibly easy’, but Sirius had always had almost scarily good memory that Regulus unfortunately did not possess. Their mother had it too. Of course learning English would be easy for Sirius! Regulus had been here for almost three years and could barely even hold a proper conversation about his book with Remus, Sirius’s boyfriend.
Regulus liked Remus, he had been the one to suggest that reading books in English would improve Regulus’s understanding of the language, and he had been right. He had good taste in literature, too.
“I’m not scared.” Regulus said. He was, but he didn’t want Sirius to worry about him. Unfortunately, Sirius saw right through him anyway.
“It’s okay. Remember the mission I gave you?” Regulus rolled his eyes and took a bite of his toast.
“Make a friend.”
“Yes! It doesn’t have to be today, but I’d like you to at least talk to someone. You’ll never learn if you don’t talk to anyone.”
“I have Evan and Pandora.”
Sirius shook his head, smiling. “I mean someone new.”
“Yes, okay.”
After breakfast, Regulus went back into his bedroom to get dressed. Sirius had mentioned it might be warm today, but he had to wear long sleeves to cover up his arms. His own fault, really. Regulus hated his thirteen-year-old self sometimes for ruining his ability to wear short sleeved shirts.
He decided to wear one of Sirius’s old shirts. It was a bit too big and the material was stretched out, which meant he could pull the dark blue sleeves down over his hands. The jeans he picked also used to belong to Sirius, which meant they were worn down to the point that they didn't even have that rough texture of denim that Regulus hated. He ran his fingers through his hair in the mirror a few times until it looked okay before making sure his cross was concealed under his shirt and making his way out of the room.
As he reentered the living area, Sirius was still sitting at the table. He grinned when he saw Regulus.
“I like your outfit. Wonder who you got the clothes from.”
Regulus crossed his arms. He was suddenly very aware that his chest ached terribly. Rationally, he knew it was from anxiety, but he wondered if he could convince Sirius he had taken ill. He squeezed his eyes shut, and without warning, felt hands come down on both his shoulders.
“Reggie, what’s wrong?”
Regulus opened his eyes to find Sirius in front of him, his expression concerned. He just shook his head mutely.
“It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”
“I don’t want to go.” he whispered in French. Sirius sighed and pulled him into a loose hug.
“I’m sorry, Reg. You already missed a whole year, you can’t miss any more.”
Regulus drew back, one hand clutching his cross through his shirt and the other fisted in the hem. Dropping his hands, Sirius crossed the room and retrieved Regulus’s backpack from where it had been pre-packed the night before and conveniently left by the door. He looped the straps around Regulus’s shoulders as Regulus stood still, staring at the floor. Sirius gave him a gentle push towards the door.
“Go on, Reggie. I’ll see you later. I love you”
Regulus sighed but grabbed his keys and unlocked the apartment's front door.
“Love you.” he muttered in return before slipping out into the hallway.
He was the first person onto the bus, and made his way to the very back row and resorted to staring out the window. The ache in his chest had worsened, if anything. For all of Sirius’s comforting words, he was so incredibly anxious he thought he might vomit. As the bus passed other stops and more people got on, the more his skin prickled and his stomach turned. It wasn’t until they reached Evan and Pandora's stop that he finally calmed down a little.
“Reg!” Pandora said in a tone far too cheerful for the current hour, sitting down next to him and putting her arm around his shoulder. Evan sat down in the seat in front of them, twisting around to face the pair.
“Excited for your first day?” Evan asked.
“Yeah.” he lied. He had known the Rosier twins almost the whole time he had lived in America, having been introduced by Sirius’s friend James on his first Christmas here. The three of them were inseparable, and Regulus had spent a good chunk of the summer sleeping over at their house. If he was excited for anything about school, it would be seeing them every day. It helped that their grandmother was French, too, so they knew a bit of Regulus’s native language as well.
Pandora was telling them both all about how she had heard from older grades that sophomore year wasn’t supposed to be too difficult, but all Regulus could focus on was her arm around his shoulder. He wasn’t usually one for touch, but Pandora was so touchy most of the time so he learned to get used to it from her. The previous summer, she taught him how to braid her hair and had made a habit of lying across his lap while he braided. It was nice.
They finally reached the school about fifteen minutes before first period was due to start, so Regulus went to the office while Evan went to reunite with his friends on the soccer team. Pandora had insisted on going to the office with him, and as they walked through the fluorescently-lit halls lined with lockers, she pointed out classrooms and people to Regulus. When they finally reached the office, the grey-cardiganed secretary had barely glanced up from her paperwork while giving him his timetable and a school map. Her nametag read ‘Ms. Umbridge’, and when she finally noticed Regulus still standing quietly in front of her desk, she snapped at him.
“Go along now. Get to class.”
Regulus stumbled out of the quiet office to where Pandora was waiting outside. She obviously noticed his startled expression, because she smiled apologetically.
“That’s okay, Ms. Umbridge is mean to everyone. What’s your first class?”
Regulus squinted down at the paper. “Maths…?”
“Okay, I’ll show you the way! We have a few minutes.”
Taking his hand, Pandora led him through the halls towards his maths class. By the time they reached the door, Regulus was almost killing himself with nerves. He fidgeted with his sleeve as Pandora pat him on the shoulder reassuringly.
“I’ll see you at break, Reg. Good luck!”
And with that, she was gone. Heart pounding, he pushed the door open to the classroom. The classroom was mostly full, but the teacher didn’t appear to have arrived yet. Some students were sitting on others desks, talking to their friends. No one looked at him as he walked in. Regulus quickly took a seat at the back of the room, in between a girl resting her head on the desk, long black hair spilling over the side, and the empty seat next to the wall.
The walls of the room were covered in posters, reading things like ‘Maths is a superpower!’ and sporting cartoonish illustrations. Regulus thought it was childish. There was a large blackboard at the front of the room, behind the cluttered teachers desk. A boy was drawing a crude caricature of a balding man with thick glasses and crooked teeth on it and giggling to his friends, who were watching. A few moments later the bell rang, making Regulus jump. As it finished ringing a short man who looked rather similar to the picture on the blackboard hurried into the room, clutching a stack of books to his chest as the bell rang.
“Good morning class!” the teacher announced, putting his books down on the desk and not even glancing at the board as students scrambled back to their seats. “Some of you may know me already, but…”
Regulus tuned out the yammering in favour of picking at his fingernails and staring out the window. He knew that he should definitely be listening, but found his heart was still beating erratically with what was practically terror. He wanted to go home.
Suddenly, the classroom door slammed shut, effectively cutting off the teacher's rambling. Regulus snapped his head up to find a boy standing awkwardly in the doorway, everyone’s eyes on him.
“Mr. Crouch! Lovely of you to join us today." the teacher’s dark expression said that he didn’t really think it was lovely. The boy—Crouch—grinned. He looked mean.
“It’s my pleasure, sir.”
The teacher scowled and pointed at the empty seat next to Regulus.
“Go sit there. Pay attention, no talking.”
Crouch simply smiled again and glanced over to where the teacher was pointing. His gaze landed on Regulus, and he did a double take, making Regulus shrink in his seat a little. Don’t look at me. Crouch strolled down the aisle of desks and sat down in his seat, flashing Regulus a grin as the teacher started up his spiel again.
Regulus scanned the room, noticing with a note of interest that next to nobody was listening to the lecture. The girl next to him still had her head pillowed in her arms, and everyone else was in varying states of disinterest. One boy sitting near the front kept clicking his pen, which grated on the nerves a bit.
As the teacher droned on, Regulus felt a nudge on his elbow. He looked to his side sharply to find Crouch leaning across the aisle, staring at him.
“Psst. Hey.” he whispered. “What’s your name?”
Regulus balked a little, having not expected to be spoken to by a stranger so soon. Crouch had very dark brown eyes, and they bore into his. It sent another spike of anxiety through him.
“Regulus.”
“Really? Sick name. I’m Barty.”
Regulus smiled at him half-heartedly and turned his attention back to the teacher. Perhaps he would talk to Barty another day, but right now he just wanted to focus on getting through this one.
He managed to get his hands to stop shaking about halfway through the lesson, and he hurriedly copied down everything the teacher had written on the board. Regulus was pretty sure he could feel Barty looking at him, but he kept his eyes firmly on his notes. The idea of Barty looking at him made his throat very dry.
The rest of the period passed reasonably quickly, and as Regulus followed the stream of people leaving the classroom, he glanced down at his timetable. PE. Physical Education. Great. He moved through the crowded halls, trying to dodge people's shoulders and decipher his map at the same time. It turned out he was rather unsuccessful with both. All of a sudden, Barty appeared by his side.
“You going to PE?”
Regulus nodded hesitantly.
“Awesome. I’m going there too. I’ll show you the way.”
Pocketing his map, Regulus trailed after Barty and wondered why he was helping him.
Upon arriving in the crowded boys changing room, Regulus had the startling revelation that he was going to get changed in front of other people. Strangers. Nope, no way. Not happening. He didn’t even have anything to change into. He hoped this meant he wouldn’t even have to participate, PE had never been his strongest subject.
Luckily for him, Barty came to his aid again.
“I have some spare shorts if you need,” he said, before leaning closer and adopting a quiet whisper. “But this teacher never takes attendance. We can go and skip, if you want.”
Regulus hesitated. He wasn’t exactly sure what Barty meant by ‘skip’, but he assumed it meant ditching class. If he had been caught doing that at his old school in France, he would have probably gotten the strap or at least a detention. It had been a very old-fashioned sort of school. But he didn’t want to be rude, so he shrugged.
“Okay.”
Barty grinned, turning and heading right back out of the changing rooms, Regulus on his heels.
“Follow me.”
Barty walked briskly through the now empty halls, his footsteps echoing. He stopped outside a door. “In here.” he said, scanning the hallway with his hand resting on the door handle while Regulus caught up.
They entered the room, which turned out to be a bathroom. Almost every stall door sported a sign reading ‘Out of Order!’, and there were messages written in pen scrawled across almost every surface.
“No one really comes in here, so we’re good.” Barty sat down against the far wall, gesturing for Regulus to follow him. Pulling out a cigarette as Regulus sat down next to him, Barty eyed him curiously. “Are you new?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you around before, and it’s a small school.”
Regulus nodded, feeling a little nervous. He didn’t want to screw up his first proper conversation—his first chance at a new friend! “I’m from France.”
Barty raised his eyebrows in surprise as he took a lighter from his pocket and lit the cigarette. “That’s cool, I was thinking you had a bit of an accent. Want a hit?”
“No, thanks.”
Shrugging, Barty took a drag. “How come you moved here of all places? It kind of sucks.”
“My brother.”
At this, Barty’s eyes widened and Regulus wondered if he had said something wrong. He was struggling a little to keep up with the conversation, Barty kept using unfamiliar phrases and words, and Regulus was having to use context clues to help figure out what they all meant. Suddenly self-conscious, he drew his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees.
“You’re Regulus Black, right?”
“Um…Yeah.”
“Is Sirius Black your brother then?”
“Yeah.”
Barty sucked on his cigarette, looking almost awed. “Apparently he’s really cool. He graduated just before I started, but the older years talk about him all the time. He left a bit of a legacy.”
Regulus didn’t know what a ‘legacy’ was, and he wasn’t about to ask, so he just shrugged.
“He’s okay.”
That made Barty laugh, for some reason.
“You’re kind of funny.”
Regulus hadn’t really been making a joke, but he just shrugged again and pointed to Barty’s cigarette.
“Can I try it?”
“Have you ever smoked before?”
“No.”
“Okay…I’ll show you how. You gotta inhale first…”
The rest of the period passed quickly, and the two of them spent it mostly smoking and talking. Barty did most of it, talking about the school, (or more accurately, the students who attended. Regulus privately thought that Barty was a little bit of a gossip) while Regulus listened and asked a few questions. It was hard for him to get his wording right sometimes, because filling in the blanks while listening versus while talking was very different.
“English class…But you speak English?”
Barty had looked at him a little funny, but shook his head. “No, it’s more studying like…literature. Or grammar and stuff like that. Don’t you have that in France?”
“Yeah…But it is called something different.”
“Oh, that’s cool.”
Regulus liked Barty, he decided. He talked a lot, but not so much it overwhelmed him, like Evan did sometimes. He also made up his mind while sitting in that bathroom that he would tell Sirius that he had made a new friend, regardless if Barty thought of him as a friend or not. Americans were very friendly compared to the French, he thought, because no one at his old school would have dared to make conversation with someone on the first day for no reason, let alone skip class. He decided not to tell Sirius about that part.
The final thing he resolved was to focus on studying American slang more. If everyone here talked how Barty did, he doubted he would understand anything that anyone was going on about for the rest of his school years, no matter how much he studied the basics of the language.
The rest of the school day was okay, but Regulus was exhausted by the end of it. It turned out he shared an English class with Evan, which was good, but in all his other classes so far he was alone. Not ideal, but it was fine. Regulus was smart, even if he had had to spend about half of his Biology lesson translating the work the teacher had set instead of actually doing it.
He was taking a different bus home than Evan and Pandora, but they still waited with him at the same bus stop.
“Hey, Regulus. How was your first day?” Evan asked, leaning against the outer wall of the covered bus stop as Regulus walked up to the twins. They weren’t quite identical, but their blonde waves and bright blue eyes still made them look incredibly similar. The bus stop was very loud, the air was filled with students chattering as they spilled out of the school gate and onto the first bus. Regulus hated crowds because they were too loud, and dug his thumbnail into the pad of his pointer finger as an attempt to ground himself.
“It was good.”
“What was your favourite class?” that was Pandora, who was leaning against the wall next to Evan. Regulus stood opposite them, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly.
“I don’t know. Biology?”
“Oh, biology is my favourite!” Pandora said, smiling softly. She was pretty when she smiled. “I’m so sad we’re not in the same class.”
Regulus looked away, shrugging. Evan nudged Pandora.
“Bus’s here, Pan. Let’s go.”
“Okay, one sec. Bye, Regulus!” Pandora threw her arms around him, taking him by surprise, and over her shoulder Evan winked at him.
“See you tomorrow, Reg.”
The two of them left to get on their bus, and Regulus was left to wait by himself. His bus would only take a few more minutes, according to the timetable. Sure enough, after a couple minutes of twiddling his thumbs, the large yellow vehicle pulled up to the sidewalk.
He couldn’t wait to get off the bus after a treacherous ride during which he had been forced to be pressed up next to the window after a girl sat next to him and leant forwards in the seat to talk to her friends, who were turned around in the seat in front. Regulus kept his gaze firmly outside the window, but he could feel the girl’s gazes on him. He had tried to distract himself by picking at his fingernails, and kept his thoughts focused on what he would tell Sirius when he got home.
Only, Sirius wasn’t there when he got home.
Regulus had climbed up the flight of stairs to get to the front door and fumbled with his keys to open it, and was expecting Sirius to be sitting at the dining table when he got back. However, the table was decidedly empty. He panicked for all of one second until he noticed Remus sitting on the couch, reading a book. Sighing with relief, Regulus dropped his bag and toed off his shoes, arranging them neatly before heading into the kitchen to get a glass of water. It had been hot and stuffy on the bus, and he was sweating in his long sleeve.
“Hi, Regulus.” Remus called from the living area, putting his book down on the coffee table. “How was your first day?”
Regulus drank deeply from his glass and gave Remus a thumbs up. He was tired, and didn’t much feel like talking. Remus didn’t seem to pick up on this as he joined Regulus in the kitchen, opening the fridge.
“You hungry at all? It’ll be a while until dinner.”
Regulus finished his drink and shook his head, wiping his mouth dry. He pointed towards the small hallway that led off to the bedrooms, and Remus’s brow furrowed.
“You’re going to your room?”
Regulus nodded.
“Okay. Sirius will be back soon. He’ll probably come in and talk to you.”
Regulus nodded again and left the kitchen, heading towards his door. He wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed, but he had to change out of his outside clothes first. He stripped off his shirt, and stepped out of his jeans, pulling on some grey sweats that also used to belong to Sirius. He forewent a new shirt, because he no longer cared if his brother saw his scars, and it was hot. He would put one on for dinner. He practically fell into bed, pulling the covers up to his waist, and fatigue hit him quickly.
The day had been overwhelming, to say the least. For all that Sirius had assured him he didn’t need to worry about the language barrier, it had been tough. All his teachers had told him it was perfectly fine if he found the work difficult or fell behind, but Regulus knew that he couldn’t afford to slack, especially because he had already missed a whole grade. Since there was no way he was going to ask a stranger for help, he was just going to have to suck it up and figure it out. Evan was in his English class, and he supposed he had Barty with him in Maths and PE, but other than that he was alone in all his classes.
He woke up to a weight sitting down at the edge of his bed and a hand on his shoulder. He had been sleeping on his front, and clumsily pushed himself onto his forearms and turned his head to see Sirius sitting on his bed, grimacing.
“Please tell me you’re not naked under the covers.”
Regulus snorted. “I’m not, don’t worry.” he said in French without thinking. Sirius gave him a look, but continued speaking in French. Privately, Regulus was relieved, and turned over properly to face Sirius, resting on his elbows.
“Remus is making curry for dinner. How was your day? Did you make any friends?”
Regulus considered. “It was okay. You told me the language barrier would be fine. You lied.”
Sirius bit his lip over a smile, though he did look a bit guilty. “Sorry. Go on.”
“I think I made a friend.” That made Sirius light up.
“Really? Who?”
“Don’t act too surprised. His name is Barty.”
“As in Crouch?”
“Um…Yeah?”
Sirius shrugged. “His dad is the mayor.” Regulus’s jaw dropped.
“The mayor? He didn’t mention that!”
“Well he’s a bit of a dick, that’s probably why.”
“Oh.” Regulus didn’t know what to say. He started picking at his nails again, a habit he really thought he had broken before today. Sirius seemed to sense he wanted to be left alone, as he clapped his hands to his thighs before standing up.
“I’ll leave you alone now. Please put on a shirt before dinner.” He left the room, leaving the door open a few inches.
Regulus grumbled but dragged himself out of bed and over to his dresser to put on a t-shirt. He chose a plain white one, which he only realised after he had pulled the shirt over his head that it was perhaps not the best choice of dress if they were having curry for dinner. He quickly pulled on his dark grey sweater over the top of it, one of his few items of clothing that actually belonged to him and no one else previously. He reached up under his layers to touch his cross necklace for a moment, closing his eyes.
Dinner was good, Remus was a great cook. He got the sense that the two of them noticed that he didn’t feel like holding a conversation, so Sirius talked about his day at work while Remus listened to him, and Regulus tuned both of them out. He was already dreading school tomorrow, but he thought he was just tired and would feel more optimistic in the morning.
At least he hoped so.