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r/AITA · Posted by u/OP_SpoilerAlert 22 hours ago.

AITA for being catnip to feral murderbabies and causing my girlfriend to face off against the weirdly socialized teen with powers who decided to kidnap me about it?

AITA?

So some backstory i guess. I (early 20s, F) am fucking hip deep within a community in which my girlfriend's family is a major presence. My girlfriend (early 20s, nb) is a cryptid who was raised… poorly. We'll go with poorly. Specifics would be both a privacy breech and infuriating. Anyway, when we were both teenagers, I wound up being a big part of socializing her like, you know, a human being, while dating the guy who would become her adopted brother. Don't worry, we're cool. Her youngest brother (preteen, m) was also unconventially raised as a child (their Dad tends to adopt half feral gremlins in need), and I have also been praised as an important part of "taming" him. (Which, suck your boyfriend's dick, ex-bf [my age, m], he didn't need to be 'tamed', he needed to be supported safely and given the tools to help him grow.) Anyway. This means I already had a small reputation for this kind of thing, and apparently when my arguable mentor/likely future FiL (40s, Bitch) found an angry meta teen with murder in his eyes, the "Parentified" (he was a fucking adult) oldest brother (early 30s, crying about it) decided that, oh! SpoilerAlert is a great murderbaby whisperer! (ex-bfs term, not mine) She should try to work her magic on him! You know it's not magic, bruh, it's called "having some basic emotional competency" which you'd know if you hadn't turned it off sometime while being raised by Bitch in his slut era, smh. Important note: my gf was away for a bit on business when this happened. Additional important note: I, reasonably, thought someone else told my gf about her adoptive father's new foster. Not Bitch, ofc, but there are way too many people in this colony. I thought SOMEONE did. I thought we, you know, COMMUNICATED the bare minimum to your literal SIBLINGS about new foster situations. It's not like it's NEW to any of youse. I, meanwhile, was busy dealing with the New Kid on top of everything else I was already doing. Which, for the record, was quite a bit already! With me so far? So, two weeks into this, and I'm the one acting as a consistent presence with NK in ways that do not include "sparring". I show up for an hour each day, I chat about whatever's comfortable for both of us, I actually show some fucking interest in how he's doing to his face, assess if I think his needs are being met by, again, a clan of fucking disasters. I am, also, a fucking disaster, but this is basic shit. You'd think Bitch would be better at it after too many gremlins to list. Unfortunately, everyone in this family has issues. We all got here through being traumatized bitches, and our lifestyles don't shy away from adding more, sparkling brand new traumas. We're all spicy people. Sometimes, spicy turns explosive. That happens more often around RH (mid-20s, m). RH likes to think of himself as the black sheep of the family. I respect him because he's big on self care, actually cooks and eats real food, and never hesitates to call out Bitch when he's fucking up. RH is very often the reason things are exploding. He's very proud of this. He was also out on business for a couple weeks. It happens. So, NK and I are doing our thing. We're working our way through some early 00s punk CDs we found in the attic. Something startles NK. I can't tell what. He and RH start sniping. I have no idea what's going on and do my level best to go "what the fuck, knock it off?" becasue these two have never met! I'd ask how the fuck they could already be beefing, but I remember RH and ex-BF. RH is just that kind of fucker sometimes. Anyway, we knew NK had some meta powers. We apparently had no idea of some of the things he could do. Despite my best intentions, he grabs me, and flees. I was not in control of Any of Fucking This, for the record. And no, I could not escape, you think I'm going to leave the New Kid all alone when he's freaked out and a flight risk? Are you fucking nuts, ex-BF? (Yes, we all know you are, hide your damned meds better.) I guess this is about when my wonderful GF got home. I guess she apparently was startled to find me 'captive' (again, no I didn't try to escape, he wasn't trying to hurt me, he was freaked out), and decided to take after her father and be a pissy fighty bitch about it. Basically, GF showed up. NK then made the mistake of kind of appearing to be threatening me to get what he wanted. Something about not wanting to see RH again if he was going to have that much toxic sludge in him, and he wasn't letting me go back until that was fixed. I think he cares! It's cute! Unfortunately for him, GF also cares. Unfortunately for him, GF is also the most badass person I know. Yes, including your favorite superhero, I promise. Despite NK showing off even more powers we didn't know about (seriously, Kid, what the fuck), my Dear GF is, as I said, a badass. A badass who had no idea who this kid was (remember what I said about communication?) and managed to beat the fuck out of him. (It was fucking hot.) Poor NK. Now, we've all debriefed. Bitch is mad that NK got hurt, that RH apparently has Issues we didn't know about, and that GF is mad. Parentified noped out as soon as he realized everyone would heal okay and that Bitch was being Himself. RH is upsetti becase he fucking has more Issues and he wants to go set some explosives about it. Ex-BF is mostly disappointed that there isn't video of the beatdown. Other people are either not in responsible roles in this fucking colony, preteens, or again, Away on Business. And GF is now mad at me that she didn't know what was going on with her fucking family. I love her so much, but I don't think this one's on me! AITA?

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