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“DUDE! WHAT THE HELL! Y/N! I swear to Chuck, either you keep this jackass away from me or I’m roasting his family jewels in holy oil!” The sound of Dean yelling had you running from the warmth and comfort of your bed, afraid there would be bloodshed.
“Whoa! Chill!” You shouted, taking in the scene before you. Gabriel sitting calmly in a comfy papasan chair and Dean standing by the wall; his face red, his green eyes conveying murder. “What’s the problem?!”
Dean narrowed his eyes. “The ‘problem’ is that your angelic asshole of a boyfriend not only sabotaged all the pie in the bunker by adding flaming hot sauce, he also switched all my classic rock vinyls with 70’s disco and pop!” You gave an unladylike snort. “That, AND he told the woman I was interested in last night that I had the clap and was impotent anyway. I swear, feathers, this is the last time I ever hang around with you!”
He took a breath as you processed what he had told you, your eyes landing on Gabriel’s honey colored ones. “Gabe, don’t you think that was taking it a little too far?”
Gabriel shrugged. “No. Dean’ll sleep with any female in the vicinity, aside from you and Charlie. Charlie, because she bats for the other team and you, because he knows I would smite his ass before he could touch you. I think he needed to be knocked down a peg or two.”
You raised an eyebrow. “The vinyls and the pie I can see, even think it’s hilarious. But you did take it too far with the impotence, Gabe. That’s something all guys take too seriously and not at all funny to them. You’re one insult from starting a war, pretty much. I think you should apologize.” Gabriel’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped, while Dean gave a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest.
“WHAT?! You want me to apologize to the man-whore?! Are you serious?!”
You sighed and gave Gabriel a look.. “Oh my Chuck, Gabe! How hard is it to say ‘I’m sorry’ and be done with it?”
He rolled his eyes and threw his head back against the chair. “Fine. I’m sorry you’re the male equivalent of a harlot and have no sense of humor.”
Before you could reprimand your boyfriend, Dean pushed himself off the wall, ready to swing, just as Gabriel snapped his fingers and Dean disappeared. “Gabriel. Where did you send him?!”
“Nowhere bad, Sweetness! Don’t freak. Just to the nearest bar to cool down. Now we have the next hour or so to ourselves.”
You gave him a glance of defeat. “Just cool it with the pranks and jokes for a while, ok? Promise?”
He groaned. “Ugh! Fine. Promise. You’re no fun either, Lollipop. I can’t wait til he hears his new ringtone though.” He chuckled. “I thought Bloodhound Gang’s 'Bad Touch’ was appropriate.”
“GABE!”