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Eki was technically the first to wake up to hearing Rias scream, I say technically because Halo hadn’t even gone to bed yet. They watched everyone arguing. Rias made sense to scream, but it was the fact that even Hikarino was losing his cool.
To be fair, even Halo could tell the kitten wasn’t going to last long, even though they aren’t like Hikarino at all.
They were the first person Eki saw when he ran to the stairs. Halo stayed at the house to help Meixul cope with a hurricane since they had experience, they grew up with hurricanes. Kanekuro had joined Eki, so he motioned for Kanekuro to grab Halo because they were clearly being affected.
And that’s what the black haired man did… at first…. But then they broke free and the hell that was already there burst like flood gates. Like the levees that broke during Katrina.
The statement that Rias smoked finally kicked into their head and they snapped. They got in the middle of the screaming and thrashing, and they managed to scream louder and over Rias’s breakdown.
“SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I TAPE YOUR MOUTH SHUT! I WILL HURT ALL OF YOU WITH NO FUCKING REMORSE IF YOU DON’T BE QUIET!” They screamed, and as if they were a psychic, “AND BOX IF YOU WALK OUT THAT FUCKING DOOR I WILL FUCKING END YOU AND YOUR BELOVED SKY DADDY DO NOT FUCKING TEST ME, STAY!” The insult to the one Box served hit a place in him that only pissed him off more. “You don’t need to insult people’s religion, Halo.” Hikarino managed to calmly say, “I DO NEED TO! IT’S HIS FUCKING GOD THAT DIDN’T SAVE MAMA WHEN SHE BEGGED TO LIVE! WHEN SHE BEGGED AND PLEADED! WHEN SHE SAID SHE’D STOP SMOKING! SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN BUT WHAT HAPPENED??? HIS STUPID GOD DIDN’T HELP HER LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO!” They yelled, slapping a hand over Rias’s mouth, “If you don’t shut the fuck up I will become worse than whatever hell you experienced so I suggest you be quiet for 5 fucking seconds and let me speak because I am this close to having a higher body count that you and Eki combined.” They stared right up into his eyes.
“I’m going to let go… and if you start your screaming again, I will slap you. I will tape your mouth shut, do you wanna bet??” They said, letting go of his mouth.
“first of all, BOX! It’s no one’s fault for the kitten dying. Bullshit happens, that’s life. Now you’ve experienced it! Welcome to your first life lesson! Life lesson number 1, shit happens that is out of our control! You can blame who you want but in the end it fixes nothing! You didn’t like me blaming your god for my mom’s death right? Exactly. I can blame god as much as I want but in reality I know nothing could’ve saved her. But am I still gonna blame your god because he’s the one she prayed to? Yes, absolutely. Because now that there IS a proof of gods existing, there was no reason for him to not try.” They said, “Halo, I told you. Neither a god nor a devil could’ve saved her. People say it’s the will of god, but it’s only the will of death. At the end of the day, death decides if someone dies. You can pray to whatever deity you believe in, but they can’t help you. Trust me, I tried. I’m not even a deity, but I’m a servant of death and I tried to get him to not do it.. he didn’t listen.” Hikarino explained to Halo for probably the 50 millionth time in the 7 months their mom had been gone.
“You never understood why people felt grief over losing someone or something to death, right? Cuz you’re an angel. Well now you know how it feels. And RIAS.” They look over at him, “I’m giving you an ultimatum. You either work on stopping smoking, or you’re going to deal with the look of hatred from me towards you for the rest of the time you’re here. If you choose keeping smoking, you will deal with packs missing suddenly the entire time and you will see how fucking fast your money drains. The amount of money you could save by NOT buying cigarettes is astounding.”
“I don’t even do it that often-” He tried to argue with a glare, “it’s just a cigarette and it cannot be that bad. Honey, don’t you love me? Yeah you know it makes me sad. It’s just a cigarette and it harms your pretty lungs. Well it’s only twice a week so there’s not much of a chance! It’s just a cigarette and it’ll soon be only 10. Honey can’t you trust me? When I want to stop I can.” They sang, “exactly, when I-” “No. You can’t. You can THINK you can, but what you don’t seem to realize in that thick ass skull of yours is that nicotine is extremely addictive. By the time you decide you want to stop, you CAN’T. And who knows, by the time you try to stop it might be too fucking late and you’ll end up on the side of the tub struggling to breathe while you’re kid tries their best not to cry because they don’t want to worry you. You end up needing air do you kid tries mouth to mouth in vain, and you fall in and out of consciousness struggling to breathe, you don’t even have enough breath to turn around and wipe when you’re on the toilet.” They said, they SOUNDED like they were holding back tears and trying to bit scream. “just because you don’t do it often doesn’t make it any less dangerous you dumbass. That explains why I could smell the smoke everytime you were around.” “how could you even smell it? I go outside to and I barely do it!” “BECAUSE I GREW UP WITH IT?? And if you’re doing it for stress relief, you only stressing yourself out more. It makes those feelings worse but it makes you THINK you feel better!” They argued, pulling on their hair for a second.
“God maybe you are a fucking idiot! You do know there are better ways to cope with something that doing something harmful right? I dunno, fucking draw! I use drawing as a way to let out emotions, just look at all the violent drawings I have! Play a video game! Take a walk! Listen to music, write stories!” They listed, “and if you’re not gonna quit for yourself, at least quit for OUR health. You can slowly kill yourself if you want but I’ve suffered from second hand smoke for long enough and I’m not doing it again! Smoking is even MORE harmful to those around you than it is to you directly! Because we’re inhaling already exhaled smoke into our lungs! It makes those of us who have asthma or a history of asthma more prone to breathing issues. Kids who suffer from second hand smoke, teens in this case since I’m 18, are prone to lung infections like pneumonia—do you WANT to give one of us pneumonia? My mom had that like twice, it isn’t fun! People can develop asthma from second-hand smoking, it can even cause cancer and HEART DISEASE! AND THAT’S FOR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T EVEN DIRECTLY SMOKING THE CIGARETTE! SO do you WANT to do this to us? Do you WANT to hurt us because of your own selfish and self destructive coping mechanism? Because you could fucking leave if that’s the case. The smoke lingers in the air for hours after its put out. I went to school everyday smelling like smoke. I could never smell it until I went to my nanny’s house, where no one smokes. I swear it still lingers on me to this day because I can still smell it on me sometimes and I can’t STAND IT!” They went on and on.
Only Hikarino truly understood where they were coming from because he watched the whole ordeal with their mom, he was the person who took their mom from the world into the afterlife after all.
“and Hikarino.” Shit.
“I get your reasoning. You didn’t wanna break his heart. Understandable. To be fair, I’m surprised he couldn’t tell because I took one look and automatically knew.. yeah… that kitten isn’t lasting long… but also, saying it’s ‘just a cat’, isn’t very nice. Like Box said, you wouldn’t like it if someone said your bird was ‘just a bird’, I’d hate if someone said Felippe was ‘just a cat’, they’re not just an animal… they’re our family. And it’s hard to understand a perspective when you personally aren’t close with the thing someone lost… but you know how it would feel if Shubert died. You did what you thought was best for Box and that was to not tell him. You didn’t have the heart to. He would’ve found out one way or another. But… had you have told him… he may have been able to cope with the death and he could’ve been more prepared. But also, no matter how prepared we are… it’s never until it actually happens do we realize that it’s worse than we thought. I think I’m so prepared for when Felippe is gone but I know the moment he stops breathing, I’m going to break.” They explained, “you aren’t necessarily in the wrong, it was a wrong call in good faith. The only people really in the wrong here are Box for the fucking shit he said, and Rias for smoking.” They said.
“Speaking of the shit he said, if I hear you say any of that ever again, I will become scarier than a biblically accurate angel. I will make you WISH I believed in a god so I could be punished. You may be an angel, but I don’t give a shit. You never taunt people with shit like that, you especially don’t call them a mistake when they already have a traumatic life. You clearly know more than we do about Rias’s life and yet you still said it. It’s a heat of the moment thing, I know, but you absolutely fucking know better. You’re just an angel with a fucking god complex that needs to be knocked down a couple thousand pegs. Angels are supposed to be kind and like protectors aren’t they? So why is Vox—a literal demon—more kind and protective than you are? Did you fail so miserably at your job that a DEMON did your job BETTER THAN YOU??” They asked, “I could insult you all day, please give me a reason to. Do you want to return to blaming Rias for the kittens death? Because if you want to, I can list all the reasons your god is to blame for my mom being gone. We can play this game, and I can play it better than you.” They glared up at hum. “now go the fuck to bed or something, I don’t know. Do something useful. Because god knows any religious being doesn’t. So why don’t you change that opinion and prove beings like you ARE useful for more than just existing for people to argue about why millions of people shouldn’t have rights.” They sat on that floor, hugging themselves.
Box stormed out, now it was more than just his grief over the kitten, it was also the fact that his religion was just insulted—by an atomic bomb. Rias hid away in his room, and Eki and Hikarino stayed with Halo.
“we’ve talked about hating on religion before.” “I know… and I swear I’ve gotten better… but when it comes to him and some people who just bring religion into things for no reason… I can’t help but get violent. I’m trying… but I can’t help but have a grudge.” They sighed and Hikarino nodded, “I know. And it’s not your fault. But it will be your fault if you don’t work on it. You have every right to not believe in something… but that doesn’t mean you have the right to insult and disrespect a religion.” He said, “I feel like Christianity at the least should be an exception to the insulting and disrespecting thing since they’re the majority… but yeah…” Halo said.
“I knew they had a thing against religion, and I remember you mentioning they lost their mom.. but I didn’t know it was that serious.” Eki said quietly. “They have trauma related to cigarettes because of their moms death. They already despise cigarettes and didn’t believe in any god but that even sealed any sort of idea of them even believing in an existence of gods.” He explained and Eki nodded.
“are you religious?” Halo looked at Hikarino. “No, but I’m not an atheist either. I’m agnostic. I don’t follow any gods, but I don’t believe that gods don’t exist. I work with death, so they clearly do exist. I just don’t hail to any.” Halo nodded some, “what about you?” They glanced at Eki, and he shrugged. “I never thought about it…” He replied.
Halo looked down, “if he doesn’t wanna stop, that’s in him. But I’m not gonna be there to watch it. Not again. He can lose his vocal cords and have to use those robot voice boxes if he wants. He can have a hole in his throat if he wants… As long as my lungs are poisoned again in the process… be self destructive, some people are too far gone to help.” “He’ll understand, let everything calm down first and we can help him stop slowly.” Halo simply nodded.
