Chapter Text
"Coran, we've had liquor on the ship this whole time and you're just telling us now?!" Pidge yelled in exasperation. The Paladins had just completed a particularly hard mission and felt the need for celebration. Allura suggested they pull out a bottle of some traditional altean beverage. She described the process of making it and the effects paralleling earth alcohol.
"Guys lets get fucking turnt!" Hunk shouted, now completely uninterested in the plate of goo sitting in front of him.
"I'm down," Keith said, with a rare smile on his face.
"I suppose I could have a glass or two..." Shiro added hesitantly. "But I'll make sure you all," he then shot a look at Pidge, "don't go to crazy."
"Thanks dad," Pidge said, rolling her eyes. "I'm going all out and not even someone with a Dorito shoulder ratio is gonna stop me."
Allura smiled and clasped her hands together. "This will be so fun! I haven't had a real altean celebration in forever."
Hunk looked over to Lance, who had remained surprisingly quiet through all of this. He had a disappointed, but sad look on his face. The yellow paladin knew that lances father was an alcoholic. It had really affected their family and took years of therapy to get through.
Lance sighed and said "I'll just be in my room while you all drink. See you tomorrow." He got up from dinner and moped towards his room.
"What's up with lance? Normally he's all for taking a break" Shiro asked.
Hunk sighed and replied "It's personal stuff I think. Best we leave him alone tonight if we're gonna drink."
"I say we worry about him tomorrow and forget about our personal stuff tonight!" Pidge said, pounding her fists on the table.
Coran poured the brown liquid into 6 tiny glasses, only a little bigger than thimbles. He passed them around and said "to voltron!" then knocked back the drink. Everyone repeated as he did and then had a coughing fit.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS?!" Keith asked between coughs. "It tastes like gasoline!"
"It's quite potent and knowing how weak your earthling bodies are, it will effect you strongly." Allura said, pouring herself another.
The table did another round and soon after the Paladins felt the alcohol doing its job.
One hour later
"Guys I feel great and I love you all and voltron is like our child and we are all the proud parents and Coran is the grandparent and it's just so great and I don't want to be doing this with anyone else," Hunk rambled out. He was sprawled out on the couch. Pidge and Coran were having a dance off, both losing horribly. Shiro had stuck to his 2 drink rule and was only slightly tipsy, but still was laughing at everything more than usual. Allura was a surprisingly cuddly drunk and insisted on sitting on someone's lap at all times. The current victim was Keith who was clapping his hands awkwardly over his head to the weird altean music playing.
"Thanks buddy. I'm glad to be a parent with you." Shiro said, then burst out into laughter.
"Wait, are you calling me old?" Coran asked, a few ticks too late. No one replied.
"Guyssssssss, let's have an orgy" Allura said while stroking Shiro's hair.
"No, that's something we'd all regret in the morning. I'm wasted but even I know that," Hunk said, trying to look as stern as possible.
"Ugh fine. I just need a dick in me." She responded, nonchalantly.
Keith spit out with sip of water he just took into Alluras back. "You're a princess! Isn't that like, not dignified?"
"Whatever. No one here gives a shit if I'm dignified or not."
A murmur of agreement swept the room as their attention went back to Pidge and Coran trying not to trip on their own feet. A few minutes went by until Keith got up and left the room.
"Where's he going?" Allura asked, slurring her words so it sounded like she said "whasagome"
"Bed I assume," Shiro replied. "Keith is kinda an introvert. He can't take too much social interaction."
"He can't take deez sick moves!" Pidge said as she attempted a dab and fell over.
Keith walked around the castle for a while, getting a little lost until he finally found the room he was aiming for. Lance's.
He knocked and an instant later, Lance opened the door. Keith strutted in and flopped onto Lance's bed. "Sorry" he mumbled into the mattress.
"What for?" Lance asked with a concerned look on his face.
"Well I came in here. Even though you left. And probably didn't want a disturber like me coming in and disturbing shit all over the place. But I came anyway because I'm the most selfish piece of shit to exist in the universe." Keith said, then turned into his back.
"What?! You're not selfish or disturbing anything. I'm actually kinda glad you're here," Lance said with a smile.
"Me? You're glad I'm here? You must be mistaken sir!" Keith drunkenly said, wagging his finger at Lance. "I'm Keith, mean and rude and stupid and horrible and selfish and socially awkward and terrible, Kogane. No one would actually want to see me. Much less someone as great as you" Keith's words tumbled out of his mouth without thought. Lance was taken aback. How could Keith, his seemingly perfect teammate, say such harsh things about himself? And the last comment...
"Great?" Lance questioned, while moving to sit next to Keith, who threw his hands up in the air.
"Ugh don't get me started! You're so funny and cute and have great ideas and you're confident and happy all the time and wonderful!" He then sat up and grabbed Lance by the shoulders. "And I'm gonna help you find your family and make sure you give each one of them a hug with those gorgeous arms of yours and a kiss with those sweet lips," Keith tried to wink but just blinked hard. "And then a million girls will go after you, because who wouldn't, and you'll kiss them or whatever and you'll have a million girlfriends and they'll love you and you'll be happy. Please be happy" Keith whispered the last part and fell back onto the bed.
"I want you to be happy too," Lance said as he rested his hand on Keith's arm. "You deserve all that stuff you listed too."
Keith laughed. "It's not possible for me though. What family will I hug? Who would date this ugly shit, I wouldn't have a girlfriend even if she did like me, and how can I be happy if I'm away from the one place that I've ever felt comfortable,"
"What's- where's that?" Lance asked cautiously.
Keith looked up. His eyes were coated with a thin layer of water, like he was about to cry.
"You"