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Most days at the Devil's Den blurred together for Hans. There wasn't much to do but read, whittle, drink, bathe, and go for the occasional ride. All of those were things he liked, of course, but the endless repetition didn't always sit well with him. He often found himself wishing something would happen, something that'd switch things up and inject some excitement into his current routine.
Finding a lost child just outside the Devil's Den was not what he had in mind.
Even so, Hans couldn't just leave the wretched thing to fend for itself. Taking it back to his associated group of cutthroats at the Devil's Den didn't seem particularly responsible, but what else he could he do? He hadn't been able to find the child's parents. And Katherine was a woman. Hard as she was, she should be able to summon up enough maternal instinct to look after the kid until a more permanent solution was found.
"No," Katherine said bluntly, "absolutely not."
Hans tried to argue with her verdict, but Katherine was having none of it. "But—"
"I said no."
"Someone needs to look after the kid."
"And that someone can't be me. I just… I can't."
"You heard the lady," Zizka intervened, his firm tone making it clear he had her back. Hans wasn't going to be allowed to push any further than he already had. "Why don't you look after the child yourself? You are always complaining about being bored."
"Yes, but… this is beneath a noble!"
"Consider it practice for when you have children of your own. With any luck, you'll be a father soon anyway, right?"
Hans let out a heavy sigh. Hanush may have promised him to Jitka, but he wasn't ready to lay down and accept the arrangement without a fight.
"What's all this about?" Hynek interrupted, strolling up to the four of them and noting the child clinging to Hans' side. "New recruit?"
"Something like that," Zizka said with a bit of a chuckle, "Capon found this little one by the road earlier today. Since his parents are nowhere to be found, he's our problem at the moment."
"Ah, so you need someone to babysit?" Hynek asked, stroking his chin. He shrugged and then added, "well, I suppose I didn't have any plans for today."
"That settles it then," Zizka nodded, "looks like you're off the hook, Capon."
"H-hold on," Hans stuttered, "is the Dry Devil really who we want looking after a kid?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hynek asked with a bit of a growl.
"Look, I don't mean any offense, but… you don't exactly strike me as the fatherly type." More like the monsterly type, if Hans was willing to be perfectly honest—which, he wasn't.
"I just have to keep it alive. How hard can that be?"
Hans just gaped at him.
Figuring the conversation was over, Hynek turned his attention to the child and said, "well, lad, you're probably hungry, right? Let's go get something to eat."
The promise of food was apparently intriguing enough since the kid finally allowed himself to be lured away from Hans' side. And perhaps Hans should have left it at that. It didn't have to be his problem anymore if he just walked away. Unfortunately, his conscience was too loud. He followed after the two of them.
"Thought you didn't want to babysit," Hynek remarked with a smirk.
"I don't," Hans said, "I'm a bit hungry too. That's all."
Hynek chuckled to himself, but didn't press any further as he went to the nearest alemaid and asked, "you have any of that dried wolf meat Henry keeps selling you?"
"Do I have any dried wolf meat?" she responded with a frustrated huff, "I can't get rid of the stuff fast enough. Even with Treadlight trying to sell it as the inn's specialty!"
"Perfect. I'll take some of that for the kid."
It was the pinchpurse option, but Hans supposed there was nothing inherently wrong with the choice. The dried wolf meat might as well go to someone who wasn't tired of it yet. And the kid would have plenty to eat, at least.
"Oh, Kubyenka!" Hynek called out to the man across the room, "do you have some of that moonshine left? I bet the kid would love some of that."
"No! Absolutely not!" Hans stepped in. A sip of that stuff was all it'd had taken to knock Hans out for several hours. A child should not be drinking that stuff. Hans gave a few groschen to the alehouse maid and said, "give us some drinking water instead."
"You're no fun," Hynek said.
Hans just glared.
Hynek and the child sat down at one of the tables outside. Hans got some food for himself and then tried to take a seat at the table behind them, but Hynek was having none of that.
"If you want to spy, you might as well sit at the same table."
Hans sighed and did as he suggested.
"So, kid," Hynek started, "you have a name?"
The kid didn't respond. He simply chewed on the dried wolf meat he'd been given as he eyed an apple Hans had bought for himself. Hans rolled his eyes and handed it over, causing the child to look at him in awe. He hadn't even done anything! Not really.
"No name, huh? How about Wolf Meat then?"
"That's not a name!" Hans snapped.
"It's a perfectly good name."
"No, it's not!"
The child giggled, kicking his legs and repeating the words, "wolf meat."
"See?" Hynek grinned, "he likes it."
Hans groaned. "How about just Wolf? That's at least a little more dignified."
"Sure. We'll know what it stands for though."
Once they were done eating, Hynek took Wolf over to the arena. Hans watched from the sidelines as Hynek gave the kid a few pointers. Wolf did seem to be having fun. Maybe… Hynek wasn't really that bad at the whole father thing. He could still let the kid win a little though. Hans wouldn't describe what Hynek was doing now as bullying, but Wolf did seem to be getting a little discouraged. Hans eyed the weapon rack for a moment before making a decision.
He grabbed a practice shield and jumped into the arena, blocking one of Hynek's blows so Wolf could finally get a proper attack in. Wolf squealed with joy as the sword finally made contact with Hynek's armor.
"That's how it's going to be, eh?" Hynek laughed, "not very fair if you ask me."
"Let's beat back this monster, shall we, Wolf?" Hans asked.
Wolf nodded and swung again.
The fight continued until Hynek finally called it, gripping his chest and staggering to the ground dramatically. "I'm finished. You horrible creatures have defeated me."
Hans and Wolf clasped hands in victory.
Then, the three of them were off to the Farkle table. Hans didn't even protest this time. He helped Wolf count up his dice and gave advice on what to save. Hynek did pull his punches a little this time, occasionally forgetting to save something good so that Wolf could come out the victor.
When Wolf let out a yawn, Hynek realized it was time to wrap that activity up too.
"Looks like it's time for a nap," he said, "why don't you read him one of your stories, Capon?"
"I could," Hans said. Henry had brought him a book with some nice illustrations not too long ago. That might be suitable for a child. "Why not? Hold on. I'll go get something."
"Or we could just go with you," Hynek pointed out.
Wolf could use a proper bed to sleep in. And it wasn't like Henry was using his at the moment. "That's probably better. Come on then."
The three of them went to Hans and Henry's shared room. Hans grabbed the book he'd been thinking of and then eyed the wooden duck he'd recently finished making sitting on top of the box near his bed. It was meant to be for Mutt, but he had spoiled the dog a lot lately. Mutt could spare one duck. Hans plucked it off the nightstand and gave it to Wolf.
"You can have that, if you want," Hans said. Wolf looked it over, examining it carefully before holding it to his chest protectively. Wolf got into the bed and Hans sat at the edge of it, angling the book so that Wolf could see the pictures. Hynek was about to take a seat at the table before Hans invited him to sit next to them.
"I can listen just fine from over here," Hynek said.
"Maybe, but I need you to read some lines," Hans replied.
"Let me guess, the villain?"
Normally, Hans would have cast Hynek as the villain, but after today… "I was thinking you could be the hero, actually."
Hynek paused a moment—it was so subtle that Hans almost missed it—but then he rubbed his chin and said, "I suppose I do have a dashing aura about me. Alright. I'll play the hero."
Wolf didn't last long. He was out before they'd gotten through two pages. Hynek seemed to be curious as to where the story was going though so Hans kept reading. Once they got to the end where the hero reunited with the princess character, Hynek started improvising.
"Aye, I will marry you, wench, for you have the most glorious arse in all the land."
"That's not very romantic," Hans pointed out.
"I thought I'd make it more interesting."
"Crude isn't necessarily more interesting." Hans had a book under his bed that'd beg to disagree, of course. But Hynek didn't need to know that.
"I'll get her flowers too."
"Better."
"And they lived happily ever after?"
"Well, the hero did, at least. Since he was married to the most glorious arse in the land."
Hynek chuckled as Hans shut the book and got up from the bed to go put it away. Then, he said something Hans would have never expected to hear him say.
"You're going to be a good father, you know that?"
Hans turned to face him, forgetting to hide his surprise.
"I mean it."
"What about you?" Hans asked, "I think you'd be a pretty good father too."
"Me? Nah," Hynek replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, "I tried to give the kid moonshine."
"I don't think you did." It had taken Hans a while to notice, but he'd eventually figured it out. "I think you were just messing with me."
"Sure," Hynek smiled, "if that's what you think."
"It is what I think. I also think you really enjoyed yourself today. I think you like being a dad. So why don't you have your own kids?"
"What? With this face?" Hynek laughed, trying to make a joke of the suggestion. Hans didn't find it particularly humorous though. Not in that moment, when it clearly exposed one of Hynek's vulnerabilities. "I had too many options. Couldn't ever decide which woman to settle down with."
"I think it's a nice face," Hans said. He'd definitely come around on it today. It had character and Hans was starting to think he could even be attracted to it. No. Maybe he was already attracted to it.
Hynek let out a wry laugh. "Don't tease."
"What if I wasn't?" Hans asked.
There was a tension in the air. Hynek looked Hans over, an almost hopeful look in his eyes.
And then the door opened, breaking the moment.
"Zizka told me you found a child," Henry said, tone urgent. Behind him, a young woman peered into the room. It didn't take long to piece together that this was Wolf's mother.
"We did," Hans said. Hynek shook Wolf awake. The kid rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then looked to the doorway.
"Mama?" Wolf asked, eyes going wide.
"Mary!" the mother responded.
Mary?! Wolf was a girl?
Hans and Hynek traded awkward looks as Henry stepped aside. The mother kneeled down and spread her arms wide. Mary ran to her, flinging her arms around her mom, wooden duck still in hand. The reunion was full of happy tears and Henry eventually led them back downstairs.
"I guess that's that," Hynek said, a hint of sadness in his tone as he stood by Hans' side and stared longingly at the empty doorway the other three had recently left through. "It's good they found each other."
"Aye," Hans agreed. "I… did get a little attached though."
"Me too," Hynek admitted, "well, I guess things can get back to normal now."
"I don't know if I'd say that."
"Hm?"
Hans placed an arm around Hynek's shoulders and leaned in. "We have a conversation to finish, daddy."
Hynek's face rapidly became redder than the apple Wolf had eaten earlier that day.
Oh, this was going to be fun.