Chapter Text
Love.
Love is something Phoenix Wright thought he could never have. Maybe in that regard, he was wrong. It was easy to obtain love — or at least something that looked enough like it — but to keep that jewel in his hands was a much more tedious task. It would always slip through his fingers right when he thought it was finally secured.
Sometimes, the leaned-back bar owner experienced flashes of love: ruthless nights spent in the arms of men he didn't truly know, men he would never appreciate. He didn't seek love, perhaps. Maybe he was just after the warm comfort that would come from their tight embrace, maybe he yearned to hear sweet words they would moan in his ear as he hoped they could be true. Would someone truly think things like this of him today without being intoxicated?
But of course, when he became a dad to the young Trucy Wright, he had to give up on his little shenanigans and get his life right to set a good example to his daughter. He would never let a romantic partner meet her unless they were truly tight. That was the promise he made to himself… A promise that dug him in the hole of touch starving.
Soon enough, Phoenix found himself giving some thought to his past love life. Where did he go wrong? He soon came to the conclusion he only loved two — and even he was shocked to admit that, quite the sad picture to him honestly — of the people he got involved with. The first one he thought of was a doll-like lady that went by the name of Dahlia Hawthorne. She was his second serious relationship after all. The woman introduced him to the joys (although, it seemed like Phoenix was the only one who found joy from it) and sorrows (oh, how many!) of college life as he found himself falling head over heels for the literature student. Their story didn't end well, sadly, and it was still a little hard to think about it for Phoenix. But that one is a story for another day…
The other person Phoenix's mind went to was his first love. He didn't think of him last because he was least in his heart, quite the contrary I'm afraid. He simply wished to bury his remembrances of the man deep in his heart, so he would never be able to feel emotions that weren't necessary in the present. The name of that first love was engraved in the man's psyche: Miles Edgeworth. A silverhaired, well kept, seemingly cold at first glance but sweet man. It all happened back in his highschool days.
Miles, no, his first love, was one of a kind. Phoenix remembered everything like it was yesterday. They sat next to each other in class, the darker haired man writing love notes on pieces of paper to show to his boyfriend. The latter always sighed, but Phoenix could've sworn these pale cheeks of his brightened with crimson red as he read the notes! He gave in, little by little, then he started replying to the notes. Soon, it became their trademark.
Phoenix also remembered the lunch breaks they spent on the forbidden rooftop of the high school. Miles, in his infamous teacher's pet attitude, always scolded his boyfriend for going there. But he couldn't help but follow. Of course, untrue as ever to his feelings, he pretended it was just so he could defend him if teachers happened to see him. Sharing their lunches (or mostly, Miles’ well-organized lunch with a Steel Samurai themed box) together quickly turned to kissing as quietly as possible.
What innocent days, Phoenix thought.
That man was the one who showed him what it meant to love. His heart was locked away behind locks Phoenix broke one by one, all in hopes of being able to stay alongside him forever. And he did unlock his heart in the end. For all the trials and tribulations he went through since grade school to obtain Miles’ love, it was worth it. 3 years of pure happiness that looked like nothing could disrupt. Oh boy, how wrong was he.
"I'm sorry. I can't, Wright.”
The message seemed like it was flickering on the phone screen, but that was probably from the receiver's tears clouding his vision. The droplets poured on the little screen but the matter at hand was way more important than wiping them. I mean, usually Miles would've wiped them for him. His hands started shaking as he read the message over a thousand times again, hoping he misunderstood.
He can't? Can't? What can he not?
His boyfriend was no prankster, but surely, even he could have a funny side sometimes… Right?
He saw the three dots pop up quite a few times, igniting the flame of hope inside him, but these dots disappeared as soon as they appeared. No further message was sent. And this is how the love story of Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright came to an end…
Or so he thought. After all, if it was truly over, why was that silver head he could recognize anywhere sitting in the assembly for his daughter's comeback to school? And why was his heart trying to escape his chest?
Ah… Perhaps, we should rewind a little bit. Shall we?
***
It was a Monday like others for Phoenix Wright. The sun beamed like always, its light protecting the city he cherished so much. He took a moment to appreciate its soft kiss on his skin, as he drank a cup of coffee to start the day. The man worked late night shifts, so waking up so early proved itself to be quite… tedious. But there was nothing he wouldn't do for his little baby. Because truth be told, this morning was like no other! Trucy Wright, Magician Extraordinaire and Daughter of Best Barman In Town, was to make her debut in 1st grade. It was an extremely important event for the bar owner, as he made sure to never lose track of one of his daughter's milestones. He had a notebook filled with dates on which Trucy accomplished something — matters that might seem trivial to others, but if you dared making this comment to the daddy, he would've stuck his fist in your face!
He was excited to add another date to his notebook by tonight, so he even closed the bar early yesterday so he would not be late.
However, his fashion style was not as important as Trucy's milestones, it seemed… Phoenix kept checking himself out in the mirror. He was in his usual attire, quite casual, way too casual for his best friend, Maya's, taste. His usual hairdo was hidden by a beanie Trucy made herself which read the word Papa in pale pink yarn. The rest of his body was covered by an oversized sweater and matching jogging he randomly took out from his dressing.
He wondered if he should make a bit of an effort today? But seeing the pale, skinny and unkept face with barely shaved beard face looking back at him in the mirror, he quickly shrugged off the idea. It would be silly, he didn't deserve it. It wasn't a big deal anyway, he would just drop Trucy off and listen to their usual assembly before going back home to sleep until the bar opened. Not like he'd meet anyone anyway.
“Daddy, we should go!” A high-pitched voice shouted from the doorway. A little girl with deep brown hair was leaning against the door frame, her fingers toying with her blue backpack's handle. She was wearing a dress of a deeper shade of blue, although it was covered by a cape of matching color as her backpack. It was kept in place by a broach in a sparkle-like shape.
Phoenix gave her a weak smile, he wished he could do more. But he truly was happy. Trucy knew it and she was content with that.
“Alright. I can't believe it, growing so fast already, aren't you?” He chuckled as he patted her small head with his palm.
She smiled at him with all her teeth — well, with the ones that didn't fall — and he remembered as he wrote the date on the night her first teeth fell off and she cried so loud.
“Off we go then, Truce.”
***
Phoenix's ears were ringing in harmony with the bell's own ringing, signaling the start of the assembly. It was for parents and staff only, so the students started leaving the place as quickly as possible. In most cases, children are the one supposed to cry when parting ways with their parents when going to school. However, here, Phoenix felt like he would cry if he looked anymore at Trucy. An overbearing feeling spread in his chest, he didn't know whether it was pride or sorrow that made his eyes flood with salty water. Perhaps, a mix of both. That child really was everything he had left.
He got on his knees so he could look more at her face. They were not related in the slightest but he could swear he was able to see his younger self's joy in her eyes.
“Well… Have a nice day, magician!” he said, trying to hide his fear.
“Everything will be alright, Daddy. Rest well too!” the younger girl replied, patting her dad's head — more like his beanie — like he did to her this morning. She gave him a pretty smile before turning on her heel, waving goodbye.
Being a dad really made him sappy, huh?
He sat down as the assembly finally started. A man of rounder shape, his face accessorized with an enormous moustache, almost cartoonesque, took the stand.
“Erm… Dear parents, dear staff members, welcome to the 54th year assembly of this establishment. We are happy to see each of you again here today, as you entrust us once more with your children. Here, we ought to create a safe space for all children as we…”
Words faded as Phoenix tried his best to stay focused. What could he say, after all? Despite being a hard working student that took pride in thinking outside the box, his professors always criticized him for not being focused enough. Was it really his fault if the smallest things became the main point of the picture randomly? He sometimes wished he didn't have less of an attention span than Trucy.
His mind wandered elsewhere as his gaze also did, scanning through the crowd of parents. He mostly saw couples carefully listening. He wondered if, sometimes, Trucy only having a dad was a topic that caused her trouble. Did she ever get made fun of for it? Did she ever ask herself if it was normal?
He sighed internally. His eyes set on the stage where the staff members were seated. He recognized the principal and Trucy's last year's teacher, Adrian Andrews. She was a very nice woman that always expressed concern about his kid's wellbeing and comfort in her classroom. It was even during her class that Truce made his favorite beanie. He made a mental note to exchange a few words with the blonde if he found her after.
Even more bored than before after his slight examination, the man decided to take out his phone from his pocket. Coincidentally, his device lit up at the same time.
Butz: Hey man, you up for a few drinks?
Butz: Please. I really need to talk about my babe with someone who will REALLY get me
He quietly sighed as he began to type an answer to these texts. Only Larry Butz, his friend since childhood, would be up to drink so early in the day. It was always like that with him. He called the other man to take a few drinks and he would start rambling about whatever his girlfriend's at the time did, then he'd convince him to go to a party — which Phoenix turned down every time, he didn't want to leave Trucy alone even more — to forget it all.
But even so, Phoenix didn't have it in him to turn Larry down completely. When he was depressed — even more that he currently is, that is —, Larry would always barge into his apartment to wake him up and splash cold water all over him. He tried to amuse him with the party life, even though that wasn't the greatest idea as it introduced the man to coping mechanisms he's not very proud of. Nonetheless, Larry was still indispensable for his survival. Who knows where he would have been right now if the man wasn't annoying enough to call him a hundred times a single day to make sure he was fine? Probably not here.
As he was about to send a text that said “On you?”, he felt a light tap on his right shoulder. A voice he did not recognize called out for him, or so he guessed. It was a very deep voice, calm but with a sense of authority that made him want to listen to whatever it was saying. Even though he was sure he has never heard it before, it seemed kind of familiar. He put that thought aside, as he sees so many people in his line of work, in a single night. Although, it would certainly be awkward for him if a member of his child's school's administration turned out to be one of his regulars.
“Sir, please. Phones aren't allowed to be turned on here. We require your full attention for the time being.”
Phoenix felt kind of embarrassed. He decided to turn in the direction of whoever said that in order to apologize properly. However, as soon as he did, his whole body froze.
Silver.
That was the first thing that went through his mind. Silver, carefully brushed in a i'm-trying-so-hard and styled with humorous bangs, hair. There was no way he was making this up. His heart almost jumped out of his chest, or so it felt. His bile started getting all crazy and he thought he might throw everything he ate — coffee — right here, right now. He prayed it was all a dream. But one look inside that pair of eyes told him everything he needed to know. He quickly analyzed the face of the one in front of him. Fox-like grey, cold eyes that looked like they saw everything a man should have not, carefully covered by square glasses that made the man look a few years older. Trimmed eyebrows with a sense of precision only a perfectionist like him would care to achieve. No doubt. It was a face that went through many years, but it still belonged to him. The object of Phoenix Wright's past, and he insisted on it, past affection.
“No… Wri… Wright?” He said, hesitantly. His eyebrows furrowed a bit, as if he was trying to take a closer look to Phoenix's face to make sure it was really him and not some fairytale — like he mistook everyone for him on the daily. Still, he looked way too calm compared to the man he called out to. That one was clearly sweating bullets, while Miles maintened his composure as usual. That enough sufficed to plant another seed of emotion in Phoenix's heart. After panic, annoyance decided to lit itself up in him. So many years and that was the best he got? Seriously?
And so, he decided that was enough. He didn't know what came up over him but he got up so suddenly, even though his legs felt like they could give up at any given moment. Then he just pushed Miles a little bit away so he could run. And how he did run.
He ran. He ran without turning back once. He ran, pushing everyone in his way without worrying on acting like a responsable adult. Right now, he wasn't twenty five years old Phoenix Wright. He was eighteen years old Phoenix Wright who just got broken up, or as some would say, ghosted, by his long term boyfriend over text.
He only thought of getting away as far as possible from everything. This school, this stage, this assembly… This man. Miles Edgeworth. Why did it have to be now of all times? When he finally started to build something in his pathetic life? Did Miles really hate him that much, he decided to come back to show him all his success to make it hurt all more? Why couldn't he just stay hidden like the coward he ought to be seven years ago? God, why did he love to make everything complicated for others?
Just a single touch, a single push he gave him, sufficed to make every single one of their memories he tried hard to bury come back to the surface. As he ran, flashes of Miles’ face on his lap came back to him. He felt his soft lips. His warm tongue dancing, intertwined with his. His sharp gaze softening as he would bring him a plushie from his favorite show. His focus as he chose a new tie for the day, while criticizing his then-boyfriend on his laid back attire.
Soon enough, he found himself in front of the school. He didn't even check if someone was after him, but Miles Edgeworth would never be the type to chase after him. Life proved it already. He felt embarassed for making a scene like that on Trucy's first day but thanked the gods for the fact she didn't have to witness this…
He quickly took out his car keys and locked himself in, hands still shaking. He did not know what to do after that wave of emotions crashed upon him. It looked like a whole tsunami was coming up.
He quickly dialed his friend's, Larry, number.
“Nick? Everything good? You ignored my text, boy!”
No reply.
“Nick? You there?”
No reply.
“This is bad. I'm coming to your place, aight?”
And so Phoenix put a stop to the call.
It wasn't the first time Larry had to deal with this kind of situation, Nick would call and he'd come home to help without asking. No questions needed, only comfort.
But this time, it sounded like it was about to be very different. In all the ways it could be. Nothing was simple when it came down to Miles Edgeworth's relationship with Phoenix Wright.