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~Jack~
The shower spray was scalding, but Jack couldn't feel it. He stood there, forehead pressed against the tile, watching the water spiral down the drain like their playoff chances.
5-1. At home. Against the fucking Rangers.
He'd been on the ice for three of those goals. Three. The post-game interviews had been a nightmare—the same canned responses about "executing better" and "coming out stronger next game" that meant absolutely nothing when you'd just been embarrassed on your own ice.
Jack twisted the shower off and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist. The locker room was quieter than usual. Guys were packing up quickly, eager to get out and forget this disaster of a night. He caught Nico's eye across the room. His captain—his boyfriend—looked composed as always, talking to Dougie about coverage breakdowns, but Jack could see the tension in his shoulders.
They'd have to go home separately. Always separately. Jack to his apartment, Nico to his, waiting the obligatory forty-five minutes before Nico would text that he was heading over.
Jack's phone buzzed. Trevor's name lit up the screen.
Z: bro that was ROUGH
Z: you good???
Z: call me when you’re out
Before Jack could respond, another text came through.
Z: also DUDE Olympic break starts in 3 days
Z: you better already have your flight booked
Z: jimmy and I are planning something sick
Jack felt something in his chest loosen slightly. California. Trevor. Jamie. Sun and terrible jokes and not having to think about hockey for a few days, not having to watch every word, every glance, every touch.
Jack: yeah, flights booked
Jack: gonna need it after tonight
He was typing out another message when he sensed someone behind him. Nico. Close enough that Jack could smell his cologne, far enough that no one would think twice about two teammates talking.
"You okay?" Nico asked, voice low.
"Yeah. Fine." Jack shoved his phone in his bag. "Just want to get out of here."
"Me too." Nico paused. "I'll see you later?"
It wasn't really a question. It never was after losses like this. They'd stumbled into this routine months ago—after bad games, Nico would come over, and they'd sit in Jack's living room in silence or talk through the mistakes until the sting faded enough to breathe again.
"Yeah," Jack said. "Later."
~Nico~
Nico let himself into Jack's apartment at 11:47 PM. He'd waited longer than forty-five minutes—almost an hour—because Timo had wanted to get food, and Nico couldn't say no without it seeming weird.
The apartment was dark except for the kitchen light. Jack was on the couch, scrolling through his phone, still in his game-day suit minus the jacket and tie. He looked up when Nico walked in, and even in the dim light, Nico could see the exhaustion written across his face.
"Hey," Nico said softly, locking the door behind him.
"Hey."
Nico crossed the room and sat down next to him—close enough that their thighs touched. Here, in private, he could do that. He could reach out and run his fingers through Jack's hair, could pull him close and kiss his temple and tell him it wasn't his fault.
But Jack's body language was off. Tense. He was still looking at his phone.
"That bad?" Nico asked, nodding toward the screen.
"Just... Twitter being Twitter." Jack locked his phone and tossed it on the coffee table. "They're not wrong though. I was shit tonight."
"You weren't—"
"Nico, I was on the ice for three goals against. Three. I might as well have been playing for the fucking Rangers."
Nico reached for Jack's hand, lacing their fingers together. "It was a team loss. Not just you."
Jack laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You sound like a press conference."
That stung, but Nico pushed it aside. Jack always got like this after bad losses—sharp-edged and defensive, looking for a fight even when Nico wasn't giving him one.
"I'm trying to help," Nico said carefully.
"I know. I know you are." Jack squeezed his hand, then let go, running both hands through his hair. "I just... I need to not think about hockey for a while."
"Okay." Nico shifted closer. "We don't have to talk about it."
"Actually..." Jack picked up his phone again. "I was thinking. The Olympic break starts in a few days. I'm gonna head out to California. See Z and Jamie. Maybe hit the beach, clear my head."
Something cold settled in Nico's stomach. "California."
"Yeah. Trevor's been asking me to come out for weeks, and with the break—"
"I thought we'd spend the break together."
Jack finally looked at him. "What?"
"The break. I thought... we've barely had time just us lately. I thought we could go somewhere. Maybe rent a cabin upstate, or—"
"Nico, I already booked the flight."
The cold feeling spread. "When?"
"Last week."
Last week. Before tonight's disaster. Which meant Jack had been planning this, had been planning to spend their first real break in months with Trevor and Jamie instead of with him, and hadn't mentioned it once.
"You didn't think to ask me first?" Nico kept his voice level, but he could hear the edge creeping in.
"Ask you?" Jack's eyebrows rose. "Neeks, it's just a few days with my friends. I didn't realize I needed permission."
"That's not—" Nico stood up, needing distance. "I'm not saying you need permission. I'm saying it would've been nice to know. To maybe make plans together."
"We see each other literally every day."
"For hockey. At the rink. Where we have to pretend we're just teammates." Nico turned to face him. "When was the last time we actually went somewhere together? Did something as a couple?"
Jack stood too, and Nico could see his walls going up. "That's not fair. You know we can't just—"
"I know. I know we can't be public, I know we have to be careful. But we could go somewhere, Jack. Somewhere nobody knows us. We could just... be us."
"I already made plans."
"With Trevor."
Jack's jaw tightened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. It doesn't mean anything."
"Clearly it does." Jack crossed his arms. "You've been weird about Trevor for weeks now."
Nico wanted to deny it. Wanted to say he wasn't jealous of Jack's best friend, wasn't bothered by how much time Jack spent texting him, wasn't hurt that Jack would rather fly across the country than spend a few quiet days with his boyfriend.
But he was tired. Tired of pretending, tired of being understanding, tired of always being the reasonable one.
"Maybe I have been," Nico said quietly. "Maybe I'm tired of coming second to everyone else."
"That's not—you don't come second, Nico."
"Don't I? You spend every spare minute texting him. You fly out to see him whenever you can. You light up when his name shows up on your phone in a way you never do for me anymore."
"He's my best friend!"
"And what am I?"
The question hung in the air between them. Jack stared at him, and for a horrible moment, Nico thought he might not answer.
"You're everything," Jack said finally, voice rough. "You know that."
"Do I?" Nico heard the vulnerability in his own voice and hated it. "Because right now it feels like I'm just... convenient. Someone to come home to after the games, but not someone you actually want to spend time with."
"That's bullshit." Jack's voice rose. "You're the one who's always at the rink, always in captain mode, always worried about what everyone thinks—"
"Because I have to be! Because if people find out about us, it doesn't just affect me, Jack. It affects you, it affects the team—"
"I'm not asking you to come out! I'm asking you to stop acting like spending time with my friends is some kind of betrayal!"
Nico felt something crack inside his chest. "I'm going home."
"Nico—"
"No. I can't—we're just going in circles." Nico grabbed his jacket from where he'd draped it over the chair. "I'll see you at practice."
"Neeks, come on. Don't leave like this."
Nico paused at the door, hand on the knob. "Have a good time in California."
He left before Jack could respond, before he could see the look on Jack's face, before he could change his mind and apologize for things he wasn't sure he should apologize for.
~Jack~
Practice the next morning was torture.
Jack had barely slept, playing the fight over and over in his head, trying to figure out where it had gone so wrong. One minute they were talking about California, the next Nico was walking out.
He watched Nico during drills—professional, focused, giving instructions to the younger guys like nothing had happened. Like they hadn't spent half the night arguing. Like Jack's chest didn't feel like it was caving in every time Nico skated past without looking at him.
In the locker room after, Jack tried to catch his eye. Nico ignored him.
Jack: can we talk?
The text went unanswered for three hours. When Nico finally responded, it was just:
Nico: Not now. Need space.
Space. Right. Because apparently Jack wasn't allowed to spend time with his friends, but Nico could ask for space whenever he wanted.
Jack knew that wasn't fair even as he thought it. Knew he was being defensive because Nico had hit too close to something Jack didn't want to examine.
His phone buzzed.
Z: yo flight tracker says youre coming in friday???
Z: HYPE
Z: we're gonna have the best time
Jack stared at the message. Forty-eight hours ago, he'd been excited about this trip. Now it felt like running away.
Jack: yeah friday
Jack: cant wait
The lie tasted bitter.
~Nico~
Nico threw himself into hockey. It was easier than thinking about Jack, easier than acknowledging the hollow feeling in his chest every time he walked past Jack's apartment building.
They had one more game before the break—against the Islanders. Nico played some of the best hockey of his season, scoring twice and adding an assist in a 4-2 win. In the locker room after, guys were celebrating, talking about their break plans.
"You doing anything for the break, Cap?" Timo asked.
"Not sure yet," Nico said, keeping his voice neutral. "Might just stay local. Rest."
Across the room, Jack was packing his bag quickly. Nico knew his flight to California was tomorrow morning.
They hadn't spoken in two days except for necessary hockey communication. It was killing him.
That night, lying in his own bed in his own apartment, Nico grabbed his phone.
Nico: I'm sorry about the other night.
Nico: I shouldn't have made you feel bad about seeing your friends.
Nico: Have a safe flight tomorrow.
The response came an hour later.
Jack: i'm sorry too
Jack: for not talking to you about the trip
Jack: for making you feel like you're not important
Jack: you are. you're the most important person in my life.
Nico stared at the message, heart aching.
Nico: You're the most important person in mine too.
Nico: That's why it hurt.
Jack: i know
Jack: we should talk when i get back
Jack: really talk
Nico: Yeah. We should.
Jack: i wish you were coming with me
Nico closed his eyes. He wished that too. Wished they could be the kind of couple that took trips together, posted photos, didn't have to hide.
Nico: Me too.
Nico: But have fun. Tell Trevor and Jamie I say hi.
Jack: will do
Jack: miss you
Nico: Miss you too.
~Jack~
California was supposed to fix things. Sun and surf and his best friend were supposed to make everything better.
Instead, Jack spent the first two days distracted and miserable.
Trevor noticed immediately.
"Dude, what's going on with you?" he asked on the second night. They were at Trevor's apartment, Jamie sprawled across the couch playing video games while Trevor and Jack sat on the balcony.
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You're absolutely not fine. You've checked your phone like forty times in the last hour, you barely touched your food at dinner, and you've got that weird crease between your eyebrows that you only get when you're stressed."
Jack wanted to deflect, make a joke, change the subject. But this was Trevor. His best friend since they were kids. If he couldn't talk to Trevor...
"I'm fucking things up with someone," Jack said quietly.
Trevor's eyebrows rose. "Someone? Like... a girl?"
"Not exactly."
There was a pause. Trevor leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Okay. You wanna elaborate?"
Jack took a breath. This was it. The moment he'd been both dreading and needing.
"I'm seeing someone. Have been for almost a year. And I... I think I'm losing them because I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to do this."
"This being...?"
"Being in a relationship with another guy."
Jack didn't look at Trevor. Couldn't. Just stared out at the California skyline and waited.
"Okay," Trevor said slowly. "Okay. First of all, thank you for telling me. Second of all, who is he and what did you do?"
Jack's head snapped up. "That's it? That's your reaction?"
Trevor shrugged. "Jack, you're my best friend. I don't care who you're into. I care that you're clearly miserable." He paused. "Also I maybe had suspicions."
"You what?"
"Dude, you've been weird and secretive for months. And you get this look on your face sometimes when you think no one's watching..." Trevor grinned. "I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. So. Who is he?"
"Nico."
Trevor's eyes widened. "Your captain Nico? Holy shit."
"Yeah."
"How long?"
"Almost a year. Since last March."
"And you're fighting because...?"
Jack ran his hands through his hair. "Because I booked this trip without telling him. Because he wanted to spend the break together and I already had plans to come here. Because he thinks I care more about you than him, and maybe... maybe he's not totally wrong."
"Okay, timeout." Trevor held up a hand. "You think you care more about me than your boyfriend?"
"No. I don't know. It's complicated."
"Uncomplicate it for me."
Jack stood up, pacing the small balcony. "With you, with Jamie, with the guys in Anaheim—it's easy. I don't have to hide anything, I don't have to think about every word, every look. With Nico, we have to sneak around, we can't go anywhere together, we can't even sit too close in the locker room. And I love him, Z. I really love him. But sometimes it feels like we're playing a role, and I can't... I can't breathe."
Trevor was quiet for a long moment. "Have you told him any of this?"
"Not really."
"Jack."
"I know. I know I should. But every time I try, it feels like I'm complaining about something he can't change. Like I'm asking him to risk everything just so I can feel better."
"That's not what you'd be doing." Trevor stood up, moving to stand next to Jack. "You'd be telling your boyfriend how you feel. That's kind of essential for relationships, dude."
"He thinks I don't want to spend time with him."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do. He's—god, Trevor, he's everything. He gets me in ways no one else does. After games, good or bad, he's the person I want to see. When something funny happens, he's the first person I want to tell. I just... I also need this. Need time with you, with people I don't have to pretend around."
"So tell him that. Tell him you need both. Tell him he's not second place, he's just... in a different category."
Jack looked at his best friend. "When did you get so wise about relationships?"
Trevor laughed. "Jamie. Seriously, being with him has taught me that communication is everything. You can't expect someone to read your mind, even if they know you really well."
"Nico said he felt like he comes second to everyone else."
"And what did you say?"
"That he's everything." Jack swallowed. "But I didn't tell him why I needed this trip. I just got defensive and made it worse."
"So fix it." Trevor clapped him on the shoulder. "Call him. Right now."
"It's almost midnight in Jersey."
"He's probably awake. And even if he's not, this is important enough to wake him up for."
Jack pulled out his phone, staring at Nico's contact. Trevor was right. He'd been hiding behind excuses, avoiding the real conversation because it was hard.
But Nico was worth hard.
"I'm gonna go for a walk," Jack said. "Make this call."
"Good. And Jack?" Trevor smiled. "I'm happy for you. You and Nico—that's real. Don't let it go because you're scared."
~Nico~
Nico's phone rang at 11:47 PM. He'd been lying in bed, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, trying not to look at the photos Trevor had posted of him and Jack at the beach earlier.
Jack's name on the screen made his heart jump.
"Hey," Nico answered, sitting up.
"Hey. Did I wake you?"
"No. I'm up." Nico could hear traffic in the background, the sound of Jack walking. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. No. I don't know." Jack laughed, but it sounded nervous. "I told Trevor about us."
Nico's breath caught. "You what?"
"I told him. About us. About being together."
"And?"
"He's happy for us. Said he had suspicions anyway." There was a pause. "I needed to tell him, Neeks. I needed someone to talk to about you, about us, because I was going crazy keeping it all in."
Nico didn't know what to say. Jack had come out to his best friend. For them. Because of their fight.
"Nico? You still there?"
"I'm here. I just... I'm glad you told him. How do you feel?"
"Relieved. Terrified. But mostly relieved." Jack took a breath. "And he said something that made me realize I've been a complete idiot."
"Jack—"
"No, let me say this. Please." Another pause. "I need to be honest with you about why this trip was so important to me. It's not because I care more about Trevor than you. It's because being with him, with Jamie, with people who know I'm gay and don't care—it's the only time I feel like I can breathe."
Nico's chest tightened. "I didn't know you felt that way."
"I know. I should've told you. But it felt like complaining about something you can't fix. Like I was asking you to come out before you're ready, and I would never do that."
"Jack, you're allowed to struggle with this. You're allowed to need space where you can be yourself."
"So are you. And I've been so focused on what I need that I didn't see that you need it too. You need time with me where we're not just teammates, where we can be a couple." Jack's voice cracked slightly. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you don't matter. You matter more than anything."
Nico felt tears prick his eyes. "I'm sorry too. For being jealous of Trevor, for not understanding why you needed this trip. I just... I miss you. I miss being able to hold your hand, kiss you without looking over my shoulder. And when you chose California over spending the break with me, it hurt."
"I wasn't choosing California over you. I was just—"
"I know. I know that now." Nico wiped at his eyes. "We're not good at this, are we? The communication thing."
Jack laughed wetly. "We're terrible at it. But we can get better."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Trevor says communication is everything. And he's right. I need to tell you when I'm struggling, and you need to tell me when you're hurting, and we need to figure this out together."
"Together," Nico repeated. "I like the sound of that."
"Me too." There was a smile in Jack's voice now. "I'm coming home early."
"What? Jack, no. You just got there—"
"I've been miserable without you. I spent two days at the beach wishing you were there. Trevor and Jamie are great, but they're not you." Jack paused. "Unless you don't want me to—"
"I want you to. God, I want you to." Nico was fully smiling now. "When?"
"Tomorrow. I'll get the first flight out."
"Okay. Okay, yeah." Nico's heart felt full for the first time in days. "I'll pick you up from the airport."
"You don't have to—"
"I want to. I want to see you the second you land."
"Even if people see us?"
Nico thought about it. About the risk, the questions, the scrutiny. Then he thought about Jack's face, about holding him, about not wasting another second of their break pretending.
"Even if people see us," Nico said firmly. "Let them think what they want. I'm done hiding from everyone. Maybe we're not ready to make an announcement, but I'm not going to pretend you're just my teammate."
"Nico..."
"I love you, Jack. I'm tired of being afraid of that."
There was a long pause. When Jack spoke again, his voice was thick with emotion. "I love you too. So much."
"Come home."
"I'm already booking the flight."
~Jack~
The flight home felt longer than the flight out had. Jack spent most of it thinking about what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it. He'd texted Trevor before boarding:
Jack: heading home early
Jack: thanks for everything man. seriously.
Z: go get your man
Z: and bring him out here sometime
Z: jimmy wants to meet him
Jack: will do
Jack: love you bro
Z: love you too
Z: now stop texting me and go fix your relationship
Jack landed at Newark at 2 PM on a Sunday. He'd told Nico he didn't need to pick him up, that he could Uber home, but when he walked out of baggage claim, there was Nico.
Leaning against a pillar, hands in his jacket pockets, wearing a beanie and looking unfairly good for someone who was just picking up their boyfriend from the airport.
Their eyes met across the terminal. Nico straightened, and Jack watched him scan the crowd—looking for cameras, for fans, for anyone who might recognize them.
Then Nico walked forward anyway.
Jack met him halfway. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, and Jack had never wanted to kiss someone more in his entire life.
"Hi," Nico said softly.
"Hi."
"How was the flight?"
"Long." Jack shifted his duffle bag on his shoulder. "Can we go home?"
"Yeah. Come on."
Nico reached out and took Jack's bag, slinging it over his own shoulder despite Jack's protest. Then he did something that made Jack's breath catch—he took Jack's hand. Right there in the terminal, with people walking past, with the risk of being seen.
"Neeks—"
"I don't care," Nico said firmly, lacing their fingers together. "Let them see."
Jack's heart felt like it might burst. He squeezed Nico's hand and followed him to the parking garage, their hands swinging between them like teenagers.
No one stopped them. No one stared. The world didn't end.
In the car, Nico drove while Jack connected his phone to the Bluetooth, pulling up their shared playlist. They didn't talk, just let the music fill the space, but Nico's hand found Jack's across the center console and stayed there.
When they got to Jack's apartment—their apartment, really, since Nico spent more nights there than at his own place—Nico followed Jack inside and locked the door behind them.
Jack dropped his bag by the door. Turned to face Nico. And then Nico was kissing him, hands cupping Jack's face, kissing him like he'd been starving for it.
Jack kissed back just as desperately, wrapping his arms around Nico's waist and pulling him closer. When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Jack pressed his forehead against Nico's.
"I'm sorry," Jack whispered. "For all of it."
"I'm sorry too." Nico's thumbs stroked Jack's cheekbones. "We're going to be better at this."
"Yeah. We are." Jack pulled back slightly to look at him. "I want to take you somewhere. During the break. Somewhere we can just be us. No hiding, no looking over our shoulders. Even if it's just for a few days."
"Where?"
"I don't know. Maybe rent a cabin somewhere remote. Or fly to Europe where no one knows hockey players. Anywhere you want."
Nico smiled, and it was like the sun coming out. "I'd like that."
"And I want you to meet Trevor and Jamie. Really meet them, as my boyfriend. Maybe this summer, we could all go somewhere together."
"You really told Trevor about us."
"I really did. And it felt amazing, Neeks. To talk about you, about us, without hiding." Jack kissed him softly. "I want more of that. Not coming out to the world yet, but... to the people who matter. Luke already knows, and Quinn. I want you to feel like you're part of my life, not a secret I'm keeping."
"I want that too." Nico's eyes were bright. "I told my parents about you. Over FaceTime two days ago."
Jack's eyes widened. "You what?"
"I was miserable and my mom asked why, and I just... told her. Told both of them. About you, about us, about how happy you make me."
"And?"
"They want to meet you." Nico laughed. "My mom already asked when you're coming to Switzerland."
Jack felt emotion well up in his chest. "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
They stood there in Jack's entryway, holding each other, and Jack felt something settle in his chest. They had six more days of break. Six days to be themselves, to work on communication, to figure out how to balance privacy with authenticity.
"What do you want to do for the rest of the break?" Jack asked.
"I don't care. As long as I'm with you."
"We could go to that cabin. I could book something today."
"Or we could stay here. Order too much takeout, watch bad movies, not leave this apartment for days." Nico grinned. "Your brothers are in Michigan, right? No one's going to just show up."
"True." Jack pulled out his phone. "I'm turning this off. For the next six days, it's just us."
"Wait." Nico grabbed his own phone. "Let me post one thing first."
Jack watched as Nico pulled up Instagram, selected a photo from his camera roll—Jack hadn't even known Nico had taken it. It was from a few weeks ago, the two of them on Jack's couch, Jack's head on Nico's shoulder, both of them smiling at something off-camera. Their faces were clear. Unmistakable.
"Neeks, you don't have to—"
"I want to." Nico looked at him. "I'm not ready to make some big announcement, but I'm not hiding you anymore. If people figure it out from this, fine. If they don't, also fine. But I want this picture out there. I want people to see how happy you make me, even if they don't know the whole story yet."
Jack watched Nico type out a simple caption: Break time with my favorite person. 🏒❤️
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure." Nico hit post, then turned his phone off. "Now. Where were we?"
Jack kissed him, soft and sweet and full of promise. When they broke apart, he took Nico's hand and led him to the couch.
They had six days. Six days to be themselves, to love each other openly within these walls, to build the foundation they needed for everything that came next.
And for the first time in weeks, Jack felt like they were going to be okay.
Better than okay.
They were going to be great.
-End-