Work Text:
A FEW DAYS AFTER CRAIT . . .
Dear Diary,
Leia suggested I start keeping a digital journal to help me focus better. Let me just start by saying that Kylo Ren is a real jerk.
Who is this?
Um, I’m Rey. Who are you?
It’s Kylo. How did you hack into my datapad?
I didn’t.
OK, which of your anarchist friends did it?
I swear, I don’t know how this is happening.
Great. This is the weirdest thing the Force has ever done.
As long we’re chatting, why the heck did you decide to stay with the First Order?
Look, I’m in a meeting right now, and this is very distracting. Can we talk later?
Why do you always deflect my questions?
Rey, Hux is literally trying to stage a coup. This is not a good time.
I told you staying with the First Order was a bad idea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A FEW WEEKS LATER, POE HAS NOTICED THAT REY KEEPS SNEAKING OFF TO HER ROOM WITH HER DATAPAD. HE HAS A HUNCH THAT SHE’S TEXTING SOME SECRET CRUSH, SO HE DECIDES TO BORROW HER DEVICE AND INVESTIGATE.
COINCIDENTALLY, GENERAL HUX JUST ORDERED HIS PERSONAL ASSASSIN TO SWIPE THE SUPREME LEADER’S DATAPAD. HUX IS CONVINCED THAT KYLO REN IS CONSPIRING WITH SOMEONE IN THE RESISTANCE, AND HE HOPES TO FIND EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM . . .
Is this Rey’s secret boyfriend?
Yes. I find her very attractive. Who is this?
Just a friend. Who are you?
I’ll tell you when I pick her up for dinner tomorrow. Where is your base?
Why would I tell you that when I don’t even know who you are? For all I know, you could be a spy for that idiot General Hugs.
I’ll have you know that General Armitage Hux is a very capable officer, respected by his peers and feared by his subordinates.
Whatever. He’s a cranky, overdressed nerf herder, and you know it.
He most certainly is not, you insolent cretin!
It’s been fun chatting with you too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a little talk with Rey about her taste in guys. Looks like she set the bar pretty low after growing up on Jakku. Toodles! :)