Work Text:
[Bzzt]
Ai: –ah its back on.
Ai: [Laughs] Oh I got cut off at a cliffhanger, didn't I? Well you don't have to wait any longer.
Ai: Aqua, I'm sure you're wondering why we broke up right? I'm sure Ruby is interested as well. [Her expression turns nostalgic, sadness tugging at the edges] He...was already at his limit.
Ai: He was afflicted by the dark side of the entertainment industry and became dependent on me. [The corners of her eyes turn down and she half closes them. Perhaps she didn't want to look the person on the other side of the screen in the eyes] It felt like he was being crushed by the weight of life. [Her tone is heavy with meaning and it never loses the sadness that seems to permeate her every movement]
Ai: He...was on the verge of breaking. [An audible swallow]
Ai: In the midst of all this, he found out I was pregnant. [She wraps her arms around herself, seeking comfort all alone. They don't wrap completely around her however. Theres a bit of space left, as if she's waiting for someone to hug.] I thought "he definitely can't take any more than this." [An exhale] That's why I said it.
Ai: "I can't be burdened with you so let's break up."
[She says the words like she's quoting an old conversation. Theres no mistaking the tone of her voice for anything other than guilt]
Ai: "I can't love you."
[Her eyes flick to the side, falling silent as she seems to hear something. Her face softens and the realisation comes all too slow that her expressions earlier were more guarded than initially realised. If listened to closely, a faint stream of babbles can be heard]
Ai: I thought he'd be okay...once "we" were gone. [An emphasis is placed on "we" and the faint babbles grow slightly louder]
Ai: [She smiles ruefully] I don't really understand what it means to love someone, and if you ask me if this is love, I don't think it is either...so I get really anxious. [A huff of breath, sheepish in tone] But I decided to believe, that lies are love.
Ai: But the truth...I don't know the truth of my feelings. [Her brow furrows, expression focused like she's trying to figure something out] I think I'm still a little scared. I think I wanted to be with him forever. I was really lonely, you know. He accepted me....and I wanted that. I wanted to carry the burden he carried. Maybe even raise our children together. Companionship forever, isn't that what most people say about love?
Ai: [A smile spreads across her face, lined with nervousness] He...he might have been the first person I could have fallen in love with, even though I don't really understand love. [A sheepish laugh. She pushes one lock of hair behind her ear, anxious in the way her eyes flick from the side to the camera]
Ai: Hey...Aqua, Ruby. From your perspective as eighteen year olds. Do you think my words back then, were really lies? Heh...this is really a strange question, isn't it? Can I ask you one more?
Ai: "I can't love you." Was it a lie? I'm not very good at this— I wonder if I've figured it out by the time we watch this again. Maybe we'd even laugh about it together.
Ai: But this is my request to you both now, as adults. If...if he's still lost now, will you help him, together with me?
[She smiles as the babbles increase in volume, fondly turning her head to simply listen, before she reaches over to close the recording, her hand appearing to reach through the camera.
Fifteen years later, a hand reaches back.]