Chapter Text
Cho Hong-gi was running for his life.
He knew that he made a big mistake. A huge one, he thought to himself. The one he could never escape from. He thought he did something good, didn't he? Finally took revenge after getting beaten up like a stray dog all the time.
They threatened him with taking his organs this time. What could he do? He already sold almost everything he owned, he even had to let go of his precious jewelry, he got in trouble for stealing a gold necklace with Do-chul too, which he regretted later.
He sacrificed his friendship with Do-chul. Their relationship got ruined because of them. And he couldn't even look at Mimi's face without her getting mad at him anymore.
And that was maybe the worst loss instead of the jewels, like he thought.
He thought of running, but Byeong-guk and his men could easily find him and he wouldn't be able to open his eyes this time.
So he did the only thing he could think of.
He hit him over the head.
Byeong-guk instantly collapsed, groaning in pain and cradling his head. Hong-gi felt a sick sense of victory at his vulnerable sight.
But he didn't hit him again.
Why didn't he? Why didn't he kick him like they did to him all those years, why didn't he make him suffer like he suffered?
He didn't know. He was frozen in place, like a damn coward, not knowing what to do at all.
Now he was here, running with the money he was supposed to give to Byeong-guk.
It wouldn't be a lie if he said he was scared of his fate right now. But he told himself to suck it up, because he was the one who got himself in this situation, the gambling, loans, everything...
He thought about how his actions affected those around him for the first time. Do-chul, Mimi, his own mother...
He knew what he had to do with the money.
Before he knew it, he found himself in a hospital room.
He wondered if it was his fault his own family couldn't afford a nicer hospital. He looked at the man on the hospital bed, a relative he didn't even know the name of. It had been a long time since he spoke to his family, except for his mother and sister.
His mother realized he was there for the first time, her recognition slowly turning into disgust at her son being there.
"What did you come here for, you bastard? I don't even have the money to pay the medical fee."
He should have probably expected that. He was filled with disgust at himself, what right he had to come here, how could he come at a person's hospital room that he doesn't care enough to know the name of? He doesn't have the right to show up here. His mother doesn't deserve him. He should leave.
"Don't worry too much. I'm leaving."
With that, he leaves the room. He hears his mother's cries after he leaves, but he doesn't go to comfort her. He lost that right.
He sees his sister. She looks innocent, still protected by her mother. He thinks about the money in his pockets, then he takes out some and gives it to her.
"Give it to mom, take it. You know the day after is Mom's birthday? You'd be pretty when you're grown up."
He doesn't know why he said the last part. Was it to make her feel better? He isn't too sure.
The one thing he's certain is that she deserves better.
He goes outside, the breeze hitting his face like a shockwave. The remaining money is still in his pocket. He doesn't know what to do with it. They don't want his money anymore. They want something else. His body.
He trembles like he's about to cry. He doesn't let himself. Not in public, not this way, open and vulnerable.
With nowhere to go, he heads to a convenience store. He stumbles upon the alcohol aisle, choosing which drink to get himself wasted on.
Finally, he chooses a cheap soju, pays for it and starts going mindlessly.
He ends up on a very familiar bridge. He recognizes it as one of the very places he and Do-chul used to go and have fun.
Do-chul...
He stands on the edge.
After all, what could he do? He was going to die, one way or another. He should've thought about that before angering the loan sharks' boss. He should've thought about it before making his mother's life a hell. He should've thought about it before locking eyes with Mimi's paycheck, or disappointing Do-chul.
What did he say again?
"Nothing's going smooth since I saw you."
"You really are in deepshit."
"Shit like you is worth beating up."
How was he not surprised to see that Do-chul was right again? Nothing went smooth for Do-chul since they met. He was ruining the lives of others piece by piece without realizing. His pathetic excuse of a life had a devastating butterfly effect on his loved ones, the ones who once cared about him. Do-chul.
He thought about how he was right now. The urge to jump off grew with every second, and the only one who was worth thinking right now was him.
He remembered he had a match tonight. He wonders if Mimi was there too. She should support her boyfriend, shouldn't she? He knew how much Do-chul cared about her, she should at least have the decency to show up.
He wished he hadn't stopped him when they were in the beach. He wished he got lost in the waves, without anyone remembering him. Maybe Do-chul would carry the guilt. Does he regret saving him now? What's he like? Did he win the match?
He finds himself slowly stepping off of the edge, going back on the bridge again. He should see him one last time. Say his goodbyes.
When he goes there, however, he finds out that the match has ended. He learns that Do-chul has lost.
He already failed lots of times, he couldn't imagine how devastated he must be right now.
He opens the door to the locker room to see him.
He's covered up in bruises all over his face, bleeding from the cuts his opponent gave him. He looks much worse than he thought.
Hong-gi looks at Do-chul with almost pitying eyes. Do-chul recognizes him instantly, even as he's wallowing in his own misery.
"Hong-gi..." God, his weak voice. It makes it too hard for Hong-gi to remain composed. His friend being in this kind of pain is the last thing he wanted.
"Did you see my match?" That bastard. Even in this state, he only cares about that match. He decides to lie out of pity, maybe even an attempt at encourage.
"It's a great match. I never thought you fight so well."
That thought was true. He did think that he fought really well, considering that he experienced those punches firsthand. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.
"Hong-gi. I can beat him."
Yes, he thought, yes you can, you can beat him, you just have to believe, you can beat him in no time with more training, don't give up-
The first sob came as a shuddering breath. The second one came as the embodiment of frustration.
"Really, I can beat him. I can beat him."
Do-chul's voice cracked with every syllable, and soon after, he was sobbing. His face crumples, breath hitching like he was struggling to breathe.
Something snapped in Hong-gi every time he repeated the words like a mantra. He couldn't see his once strong friend in a state like this, he wanted his Do-chul back.
He slowly rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to control him. Slowly but surely, Do-chul calmed down, and Hong-gi started attending to his wounds, cleaning and bandaging them carefully. He couldn't leave Do-chul in a state like this. He still needed him even if he denied it.
He decided to not take his life.
After the match they got out of the building, walking aimlessly.
Do-chul still had a little bit of anger left in him, but he shoved it down.
"You should apologize to Mimi."
He knew that. Goddamnit, he knew that. But would Mimi even forgive him?
"I was thinking about that too."
They were at Mimi's door.
Hong-gi knocked once. Then twice. No answer.
They sat on the rooftop instead, the chill of the night seeping into their clothes. Their thin jackets did no work to warm them up, and they were freezing, at Mimi's complete mercy.
They were like two desperate dogs, waiting for their owner as they sat in front of Mimi's door, waiting for her to wake up and open the door. Hong-gi cursed Mimi, still shivering next to Do-chul. He wasn't even going to steal the money, damnit. He just..took a look. She could at least get Do-chul inside.
He looks at Do-chul, he's still wearing that bright orange jacket that makes him look like a damn traffic cone. He knows that jacket isn't thick enough, he got that for him.
"There's been a lot happening to you, huh?"
"What'd happen to me?" Do-chul almost sounds confused.
"Mimi will get upset if she sees me." Do-chul knows he's right, how much his actions had affected his relationship with Mimi. He doesn't think she will ever forgive Hong-gi again.
"You didn't quarrel with her, huh? ...Go away."
"Let's wait for another while. Where else can we go?" What's the point, Hong-gi wants to scream. What's the point, she'll never forgive me again, she won't want to see our face ever again. Doesn't Do-chul see that? Has his optimism really blinded him that much?
But he also knows he's right. He doesn't know where Do-chul lives now that they separated their ways, but he assumes he lived with Mimi anyway. Which makes their situation more ironic now that he's locked out of his own home. Not to mention that he sold their apartment back too, just to find money to pay to loan sharks. He doesn't tell Do-chul. He doesn't really like me anyway, he thinks.
"You need to apologize first when you see Mimi." Do-chul reminds him.
"I know." Hong-gi answers.
They sit in silence for a while. They lit their cigarettes as the sun rises again, glowing in an orange hue, lighting their faces.
"I want to start my own career."
Hong-gi looks at Do-chul. He's not sure they have that much money, even with the stash in his pockets.
"Let's do it together, okay?"
Hong-gi freezes at that words. He wasn't even sure that Do-chul wanted to see him again, but that's how they were, weren't they? Always returning to normal again, no matter what happens.
"How much do you have?"
"Is money necessary for that?"
He wants to laugh at his obliviousness. Of course money matters in starting a career. Do-chul notices his snickers.
"Why are you laughing at me?"
"You're either crazy or dumb." He hits him with playfulness.
"Shit, why did you hit me?"
And they start hitting each other again, not with malice but with childlike joy, as the sun rises on them again.
They stop after a while, Do-chul goes over the door again.
"Alright, let's try for a second time, if she doesn't open we'll come back tomorrow."
He knocks on the door, he doesn't have that much hope.
And the door opens.