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They’re taking a break. The way to the Wheeler’s house in the Upside Down feels way longer than it’s supposed to be, and when Robin asks, “how much longer?” again, Nancy’s nerves give up and she manages the break.
Billy and Steve have a discussion in the far back, quiet but irritated, Eddie behind them, silent.
When they’re closer, the girls sitting on the rocks, their conversation gets louder and then Billy turns to their side violently. He has a smirk on his face.
“And what do you, ladies, think? Who is more handsome? Me or the Hair Harrington?”
Steve gasps.
“You can’t just ask—”
“He just did, actually,” Robin says.
“Uh—”
Nancy seems visually uncomfortable, not looking at them. They all definitely notice the tension between her and Steve, but is she gonna admit that? She has a boyfriend after all.
Billy looks proud of himself.
The silence lasts for a moment longer than it should. Robin stares at them with a tilted head, leaping from one to one, evidently having fun.
Then her eyes go behind them.
“Eddie.”
“WHAT?”
He laughs when Billy and Steve make an outrageous sound.
“Thank you, Miss Buckley, gonna remember that one.” He makes a dramatic bow.
“That’s illegal, he wasn’t even an option—”
“And you shouldn’t even choose!” Steve stomps, literally stomps, which makes Eddie laugh even harder.
“Why wouldn’t I, Steve? Why wouldn’t I?”
She folds her arms.
“Because— because—”
He waves his hands like they’re all supposed to know why.
“You know why.”
“Why?” Nance asks, curious.
Now Robin doesn’t look like she has fun that much; a little spark of fear flashes through her eyes. Steve notices it immediately.
“Because she doesn’t have any taste!”
“Aww, pretty boy’s angry that he’s not everyone’s type?” Billy huffs.
“No, I’m serious! You remember the bathroom talk, Robin, you have horrible taste!”
“The bathroom talk? Did I skip that class?”
“No, Billy, that’s gotta be their friendship thing, because I have no idea what they’re talking about. Neither does Eddie.”
“The bathroom talk after you snapped Eddie against the wall and told him how cute and pretty he is,” she clarifies.
Eddie stops laughing. Hargrove chokes.
“I was on Russian drugs and I was out of my mind!”
“Wha—"
“Russian truth serum, Stevie, Russian truth serum!”
“And I said sorry to Eddie like six times for that! Maybe you forgot, we were both drugged, but I was also tortured. My vision was blurred and I could only use one eye, so I have every right to—”
“He mistook me for Nancy,” red-faced Eddie says to Billy, who looks like he thinks they’re insane. Nancy blushes too.
“Wait, was that the day of the, y’know, ‘Starcourt fire’?” Billy asks, and they nod.
“Oh.”
A few seconds of silence. Everyone knows how much Billy avoids this topic, how long it has taken him to even sleep after what happened, after believing what really happened.
“I thought you didn’t know about it then.” His voice is unreadable, as are his eyes. Stupid Hargrove with his stupid real man can’t have trauma mindset.
“Well, yeah, I didn’t. I was picking up my friends from the cinema and waiting for them to leave ’cause I was too early, and then they—” he points his finger at them “—they left the cinema all stoned, with those stupid sailor uniforms and Stevie-boy looking like he was tortured.”
“I was tortured—”
“And when Harrington noticed me, he started trying to charm me, pinned me to a wall, refused to elaborate, almost vomited on me and then left?”
Robin snorts.
“If you like to call it like that, he wanted to kiss you so badly and almost passed out looking at you—”
“I thought that was Nancy, how many times—”
“I mean, you are kinda similar.” Billy grabs both of them by their arms and places them next to each other. He takes a few steps back.
“You have, like, this dark fluffy hair and, like, big eyes and smooth skin,” he sounds as if he were thinking, “but Munson’s a head and a half taller than Wheeler and probably twice her weight, so how could Harrington—”
“Thanks, man, can you stop analyzing—”
And then Billy gasps like he gets something.
“Oh God, I got it!”
“You got what?” Robin asks, and Steve hides his face in his hands, resigned.
“C’mon, stand next to me.”
Robin jumps off the rock and stands next to Billy.
“Look at them.”
“Yeah, I know, Billy, they are nerds.”
“Yes, but no, look at their faces!”
Eddie looks like he’s having a mental breakdown, Nancy like she’s gonna use the guns that they’re going for on them.
“What am I supposed to be looking for?”
“Switch Nancy’s eyes to brown and imagine their faces when they’re calm. They don’t look anything fucking alike at all, right? But—”
“Oh my God, you’re right, I can see it.”
“Robin, can you just stop platonic cheating on me?”
She completely ignores him. They nod to each other with faces as if they had discovered America.
“Can see what?”
Robin takes a deep breath.
“You two have a look on your face like you are the two most innocent people on this planet.”
“What?! I stabbed a man with scissors,” Nancy says blankly.
“Jesus Christ, and I am literally wanted for murder—”
“Dustin always says you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Stevie-boy, you’re not helping yourself.”
“Well, so what, Hargrove? They both have kind-looking faces, so what?”
“You’re lying to us.”
“What?! I’m not—”
“There’s no way you mistook Eddie for Nancy, you oblivious fucking idiot, you just have a type.”
“What?”
“What?”
When Steve looks confused as hell, Eddie looks a little bit scared. He’s blushing. Billy smirks again. How are you gonna beat the fag allegations now, Munson?
“Curly long dark hair, doe eyes, pale, innocent-looking nerds.”
He starts counting on his fingers.
“They don’t look alike at all, it’s literally like a bat and a butterfly, but they have the little things that you’re into, making them attractive to you.”
“Thanks,” Munson mumbles.
“What I’m trying to say is that you’re bisexual with a type, that’s all.” Billy turns back and starts going again in the direction of the Wheeler’s house.
Steve looks like someone punched him in the face.
“Wait!” Robin runs after Billy. “You’re not homophobic?” she asks, and she sounds a little scared too. Steve knows that if Billy is going to say yes, she’s gonna be hurt. Really, really hurt. Maybe Steve wants revenge after that fight after all—
Billy sighs, wipes his face with his hand. His face is literally screaming are you fucking with me right now.
“Please, you are like the three most obvious queers that I’ve ever met,”he says resignedly. Steve, Eddie, and Robin stare at him, stunned.
“Like, Munson is literally flagging—”
“You know about the hanky?!” Eddie speaks in a weak voice.
“Buckley looks at boobies less discreetly than I do—”
“Shut up—”
“And Harrington has a bi-panic all the time with two of you,” he points to Nancy and Eddie, “and he is not aware of it, so I needed to fucking help.”
“This is your definition of helping?” asks Nancy.
“Yep, I guess so.”
“You just outed three people.”
“I almost slept with your mom.”
“WHAT?!”
“I’m outing myself too, okay? I’m serious. Like friends’ solidarity or something.”
And he doesn’t need to add anything else, because the three “queers” in question are dying out of laughter on the ground of the Upside Down. It’s better than them being scared, he decides.