Chapter Text
“But we're not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? [...] We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”
Mike Wheeler's own words had been stabbing him right in his chest over the past months. With each day the wound on his heart was getting deeper and deeper, like a reminder of everything that went wrong in his life. The sorrow making him spiral into depression even more. As he was watching his friends grow and move onto different interests and goals in their lives, Mike couldn't seem to follow their steps. He was stuck. Stuck after the final battle with Vecna. The traumatic experience of the Upside Down had a lasting impact on his life. Once a leader, now not even a follower. He was left behind, so far away, the outlines of his friends were blurred and foggy. And it wasn't their fault. Mike did it to himself. He had been pushing everyone away to not feel like a burden anymore. His biggest fear of not being needed anymore was becoming the painful reality.
Mike wasn't needed by anyone.
Until he looked into his bestfriend's tearful eyes as they were sitting across the table from each other. It was their High School Graduation Day and the party had just finished playing their last D&D campaign, on Mike's request, which was already embarrassing of him. A sign of him not being able to move on from childhood. But he couldn't close the chapter that was started right in his basement. Started with Will, who was now sobbing, barely being able to catch his breath and glancing up at Mike. The sight of his childhood bestfriend crying felt like a yet another stab into his wounded heart. Shit. This time sharper, with more force, slicing and breaking it apart. His mind drifting away to the worst time of their lives, made him feel even more miserable and crushed.
Mike imagined the younger version of Will sitting in front of him. The 13-year-old boy possessed by a Mindflayer. Back when Mike couldn't leave his bestfriend alone and had stayed with him the entire time, witnessing him go through hell. Mike would still get nightmares about their days spent in the Hawkins lab. He was hoping to erase those traumatic memories from their disturbed brains, especially from Will's. That little boy didn't deserve all the suffering he experienced. For a long time, Mike blamed himself for Will's disappearance. He remembered how dark it was outside that day and how far away they lived from each other. If only Will stayed for a sleepover, none of that would've happened. Sometimes Mike wished that he was the kidnapped kid. The chosen boy. The flayed one. Mike would do everything to keep Will safe, even if it meant him getting the punch.
Mike was holding back tears, his eyebrows shuffling in distress as they were still looking at each other. Communicating with no words needing to be said. Screaming silently at one another. Something in Will's eyes was giving him hope. A chance at living.
Mike's life wasn't over yet.
—
The group had been standing in front of Mike's garage for what felt like hours, reminiscing their shared memories and planning the rest of the summer break. By August all of them would go separate ways, moving away for college, to follow their dreams. Everyone except for Mike. The last year appeared like a blur to him. He couldn't remember shit. The time had passed so fast, he couldn't even comprehend the thought of his future. He accepted his fate of never leaving Hawkins and staying here for the rest of his life. Yeah. Which was indeed pathetic, because that was never his goal.
"We should go camping!" Dustin's voice snapped him out of his mind.
Both Lucas and Max cheered enthusiastically, as they had never done anything like this before. Will hesitated for a moment, but eventually shrugged his arms in agreement. Mike stayed silent, unsure. The plan was to spend five days at a campground, to experience the teenage life they were promised, but never had. They wanted to make the most of their final adventure.
Mike decided to take their trip as an opportunity, –
As everyone was saying their goodbyes and leaving Mike's driveway, he was suddenly left alone with Will.
– An opportunity of getting his bestfriend back. His chance at living.
Mike couldn't imagine his future without Will in it. As kids, they had promised each other to always stay (crazy) together – to move out of Hawkins, rent a shared apartment in the big city and attend the same college. This might be the reason why Mike had been feeling lost and empty lately. He had pushed Will away so hard, he started moving forward without him. He planned on doing all these things on his own. And deep down, it hurt him as hell.
When Will was about to get on his bike, Mike spoke up. "Will?" his broken voice barely above the whisper, whimpering.
It was like a muscle memory for Will to immediately turn in his direction. He found Mike, who was no longer fighting back his tears. "Mike." he gasped.
Will let go of his bike, making it hit the hard ground, but he didn't seem to care. He wanted to get over to Mike as soon as possible, with his arms open and ready to comfort his bestfriend. When their bodies collided, Will hugged him so tight, it only made him cry even more. Mike put his arms all around Will's waist, so clenched, hoping it wasn't a dream. Mike missed his warmth, his touch, him. He wanted to keep this moment last forever as he needed it the most right now. He was shaking rapidly, his mind spinning. Mike was breaking down, melting his face into his bestfriend's shoulder. Will was pulling him even closer, like he was scared of him falling down or disappearing out of his sight. His other hand was gently caressing Mike's head, fingers running through his curls. Will's muffled shush right against his hair, made Mike tighten his grip on him. He was really there, it wasn't a dream. As tears were still coming down his face uncontrollably, they focused on synchronizing their breathing pattern. Inhale. Exhale. Again and again. Mike was slowly gaining back the control of his body and emotions. Calming down, but still not breaking the hug. Mike didn't want it to be over yet. Will didn't mind.
“You're the heart.”
Mike had to remind himself.
But Mike was broken. And he needed someone else to be his heart.