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“Wait - you guys have kissed?”
Niragi has been sitting quietly aside while hanging out with Karube and Arisu, playing on Arisu’s DS to beat a hard level in a game, but he suddenly jumps into the conversation now. His dark eyes are wide and round behind the lenses of his glasses. Karube’s words, spoken just moments before - 'Good thing we did all that kissing back then, huh? Won’t make an idiot of yourself with Usagi now!' - are ringing around inside his head, whipping up into a storm, dark clouds of jealousy closing in.
Arisu colours, his face turning pink under his shaggy hair as his chin drops. He, at least, looks a little embarrassed but he doesn’t leap to deny it. Karube is still just grinning wide, his arm still thrown around Arisu’s shoulders, that teasing glint in his eyes as he jokingly air-kisses at his cheek.
Quickly, Karube seems to notice that growing jealousy in Niragi’s dark eyes and dislodges himself from Arisu before sliding himself over to Niragi’s side and leaning up against him. He drops his very-slightly-stubbled chin onto Niragi’s shoulder. Looking at him through his dark lashes, he’s still smiling even as Niragi’s own brows furrow, jealousy still churning.
“Don’t be like that. It was just practice kissing, you know? I kissed Chota too once or twice, so did Arisu,” he says.
“Hmm.” is all that comes from Niragi in reply.
Karube can practically see the cogs chugging in his head, turning over and over themselves until Niragi inevitably works himself up into a fervour that’ll come pouring out of him when Karube least expects it. With a quiet huff, he leans in a presses a kiss to the curve of Niragi’s jaw, hoping to get ahead of it and assuage whatever’s twisting up in his head.
“You’re cute when you pout,” he teases and Niragi shoots a sidelong look at him, the very slightest colouring across his cheeks, “Don’t get in your head about it. I’m not even Arisu’s type anyway.”
Niragi just quietly huffs and goes back to playing the game, thumbing the volume button on the side up louder.
A day later, Karube and Samura are over at Niragi’s place. His father’s at work, his mother’s gone out to 'go shopping' though Niragi is sure she’s just decided it’s the easiest way to give them 'privacy' and have some herself. So it’s just the three of them in the living room, the low coffee table moved out of the way so they can all sit on the ground even though there’s a long couch right there that they could sit on.
Niragi has his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. He’s still thinking about what Karube had said yesterday. Karube might not be Arisu’s type, but is Arisu Karube’s type? And if Karube was Arisu’s type, would they be dating now instead? They’ve already had this dumb fight before about Niragi’s jealousy, but he can’t help himself, he can’t help the way his brain works. Insecurity feels woven into his bones, even though Karube’s given him no reason to think he’d do anything as cruel as cheating.
Karube’s sitting beside him, leaning against the couch, his arms propped back onto it. He glances sideways at Niragi and huffs out a breath. Leaning, he elbows lightly into Niragi’s bicep.
“Are you still pouting? C’mon, Niragi, it was just practice kissing. Totally platonic. No big deal,” he says.
Niragi shrugs his elbow away, hugging his legs closer to his chest.
“You said he was just a friend.”
Karube throws up a hand, his head dropping back onto the couch cushion.
“Niragi,” he groans, dragging out his name, “He is just a friend! It’s not like we were dating or anything. You make it sound totally perverted, like we were all up on top of each other and making out. It was just casual kissing between friends! There wasn’t even tongue! Friends can kiss, it’s no big deal.”
“We could kiss,” Samura says suddenly.
Niragi and Karube’s heads both snap towards him.
Truthfully, they’d both almost forgotten he was there too, having his turn on the game, so quiet that he’d practically faded into the walls as they fussed about. He’s put the controller down now with the game on pause, the trilling pause screen music still playing, and he’s turned to look over his shoulder at them with those lazy pinpoint eyes, his long fingered hands sitting in his crosslegged lap.
“Wait, you and me or you and Niragi,” Karube asks, finger-motioning between him and Samura and then Samura and Niragi.
Samura shrugs, seemingly uncaring and open to either option.
“It doesn’t mean anything, right? No big deal?”
Karube nudges his knee against Niragi’s leg, then nods towards Samura in a 'go on then' way. Niragi’s brows furrow slightly. He’s never thought about kissing Samura. Not that he’d be disgusted or anything by it, just that he’s never considered it. He doesn’t kiss his friends like apparently Karube does, but maybe that’s because he’s never had many friends to begin with, let alone ones that he’s as close to as Karube is to Arisu and Chota.
“You don’t have to, Samura,” Niragi says, sighing as if it’s some kind of grand undertaking or sacrifice that Samura is offering.
“I don’t mind.”
Samura turns around to face him fully, settling comfortably again with his legs crossed. He brushes his hair back from the sharp angles of his face. He’s got longer hair like Niragi, but not quite as long, hanging flat and shaggy. Niragi fiddles his fingers against the sides of his leg.
It’s just a kiss. Neither of them seem to think it’s that serious. Niragi doesn’t even know why he feels like it is that serious.
Shifting, Niragi moves and kneels in front of Samura. He can feel Karube’s eyes on him. His own gaze stays on Samura, flicking across his face like he’s looking for anything to say that Samura might change his mind. Reaching out, he cups Samura’s cheek into his palm. His skin is warm, though not as much as Karube’s, and slightly dry.
He gives Samura another beat to change his mind and, when he doesn’t give any indication, then Niragi leans in and kisses him softly. It’s a gentle brush of their lips, a subtle smooth movement, lasting all of a few seconds at most before Niragi moves back, sitting on his haunches. Samura’s hands stay in his lap for the entirety of the kiss. Niragi’s hand drops away from his face, tensely waiting as if suddenly everything is going to fall apart or explode.
Samura’s head tilts, thoughtful.
“That’s what it’s like then,” he muses lightly.
Niragi looks at him, then his eyes bulge.
“Huh? What? Don’t tell me —” Niragi cuts off, strangled.
Samura blinks at him, unfazed.
Karube barks a laugh, “Was that your first kiss?”
Samura nods, one short bob of his head.
“Saaammmmuuurraaa,” Niragi drags out, whining.
His hands press to his face as he falls back, knocking into Karube who just laughs again and swings an arm around his middle. Karube presses a kiss to the side of his head, still chuckling.
“If it’s just a platonic kiss, it doesn’t really count, does it?” Samura says with an unaffected shrug.
“Of course it counts!” Niragi replies, practically distraught, “Why would you let me kiss you if was your first?”
“I don’t mind if it’s you. We’re friends.”
“Your first kiss should be with someone you like.”
“I like you.”
Niragi huffs, his face still in his hands, “That’s not what I meant.”
Karube quirks a brow, smirking lightly, his fingers running through Niragi’s hair, brushing over the shell of his ear. His gaze flits to Samura.
“What if I’d kissed you instead?” he asks.
Samura just shrugs, “We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Karube nods, disentangling from Niragi to sidle over to sit beside Samura. Niragi’s fingers part so he can see between the gaps. Karube’s leans back on his hands, legs kicked out, casual as anything. Samura looks at him, tilting his head slightly. With an easy smile, Karube leans in and presses a quick kiss to Samura’s lips. Short and quick and somehow nothing like how he kisses Niragi at all. Something confusing twitches in Niragi’s chest.
Karube looks back over at him, shrugs, smiles.
“See? No biggie,” he says.
"Hmm." is Niragi's only reply.
By the next weekend, it’s obvious to Karube that Niragi’s still thinking about it. Not as jealous as he had been that first Saturday, but it’s clearly still on his mind like he still doesn’t know how to feel about it. Karube doesn’t know what else he can say, what he can do to make Niragi see it how he does. It’s like the words get muddled in his head and he can’t figured out how to put them out into actual sentences.
On Friday afternoon, he calls around to insist that everyone come and hang out together. There’s a park they like to hang out at, it’s got a big pond and sprawling grasses, trees that go through all the colours with the seasons, a playground that Karube remembers playing at with Arisu and Chota when they were all just little kids.
Karube says it’s just a 'hang', that they’ll just chill out and eat, but he’s got another idea in mind. He knows Arisu and Chota will be on his side, at least, but he’ll also get to have the others’ thoughts too.
Arisu invites Usagi and Chota invites Tatta, both new beaus that Karube’s only met a couple times, but he figures that they should know too after the way that Niragi had reacted. They’re both nice and Karube’s likes them; he thinks maybe if they’re fine with it then Niragi will see that it’s not as big of a deal as he’s making it out to be in his head.
It’s around midday when Karube and Niragi finally make it down. Ann and Kuina bring a big blanket to lay out on the grass, everyone else brings food and drinks to spread out and share. The group sit in a big circle on the edge of the blanket, their spoils in the middle that they quickly dig into. Karube lets the topic wait, more than happy to just spend time with his friends for a while. Tatta and Usagi both fit in easily. Even Samura seems to be enjoying himself, usually he’d skip out on such hangouts but he’d decided to join this time.
Finally, a lull hits the conversation and Karube can think of no better time than to bring it up. He takes a breath.
“Niragi thinks it’s weird that Arisu and I have kissed. I don’t think it’s a big deal because it was just practice kissing and didn’t mean shit,” Karube says, loud enough for the whole group - and probably anyone nearby - to hear, then he throws his arms out as if to say 'have at it then!'. “So what’s the verdict?”
The group goes quiet.
“I didn’t say it was 'weird',” Niragi grumbles.
Kuina giggles a little.
“You guys have kissed?” she asks.
“Me and Arisu and Chota have, yeah.” Karube says, a little defensive, “Why is that so bad?”
Kuina holds up a hand, “I didn’t say it was bad.” Her eyes glint. “But what kind of 'kissing' are we talking here? Like a smooch or full-on pashing?”
“Practicing. Platonic. Just like …” He motions with his hand, “Y’know, a kiss.”
She hums. There’s a subtle ripple through the group, like they’re all thinking hard about it, weighing their own opinions. Karube feels like it’s slipping to the opposite side, not in his favour and his brain fumbles for some way to make sense.
“Didn’t someone say that there’s less germs in kissing than in a handshake?”
Beside him, Chishiya huffs a short unamused laugh.
“So you want us to start greeting you with a kiss?” he drawls.
“Yes!” Karube snaps, almost defiant, “I think everyone should be greeting me with a kiss!” A pause. “Except for Ann because that’d be weird.” Another pause. “And Usagi and Tatta because I don’t think we’re there. Yet.”
“Perhaps not yet,” Usagi says, though there’s a hint of amusement across her face, as if she finds the whole thing funny.
“I don’t mind if Chota doesn’t mind,” Tatta says with a shrug.
“What do you think, Suguru?” Ann asks.
Karube glances between the cousins. Niragi fiddles with his hands, twisting the lid of his drink bottle. His mouth twists like he doesn’t know what to think or what to say.
Kuina moves across the blanket to kneel in front of Karube, her hands land on the knees of his crossed legs, then she leans in and plants a kiss on his mouth with an over-dramatic 'mwah!'. It’s short and sweet, a quick peck more than anything, leaving him with the slightest feeling of stickiness from her shiny fruit-smelling lipgloss. Just as easily, she turns aside and kisses Chishiya too, just as short and sweet.
“See? No big deal!” she says as she sits back down next to Ann.
Niragi looks at Ann, waiting for her reaction. Her head’s tiled. She seems to be pondering, sitting in thought for a few moments, then, surprising him, she shrugs and picks up her drink to take a sip. Karube’s watching her too.
“Well it doesn’t bother me as much as I think her kissing Niragi would,” Ann says, “But I can also see where Niragi’s coming from. People make such a big deal out of kissing. Some people are just more affectionate with each other and other people are more reserved. Niragi’s the latter, you’re the former. He thinks it’s a big deal and you don’t.”
A kind of desperation crosses Karube’s face.
“But it’s not a big deal,” he says, “If it was romantic, if I thought he had feelings for someone else and was kissing them, then it’d piss me off - but this is different! It’s like a hug or - or like a kiss on the cheek but just a few centimetres over. Like I wouldn’t do it to a stranger, but I’d do it to a friend.”
Ann hums quietly.
“Then what’s the difference?”
There’s a look on Karube’s face, his brain clearly whirling, trying to put his feelings into words. The rest of the group waits.
“It’s … the emotion behind it.” He starts slowly as he tries to explain himself, “When you kiss someone you love, it’s like —“ He makes an explosion sound with his mouth, a fast flex of his fingers mimicking it too. “— Like fireworks going off. Even the smallest kiss tingles, like electricity all the way through your body or like you’re walking on air. When you kiss your friends, it’s more like … ” His finger stretch, palms rubbing together. “It’s warm. It’s sweet. It’s like … ice cream in summer.”
His mouth presses together. He scrubs his hands over his face, makes a sound in the back of his throat. He doesn’t know if he’s getting his point across or if he’s making any sense at all. Taking a breath, he tries again.
“You can kiss the person you love and you can kiss your friends and you can kiss the person you love the way you kiss your friends but you don’t kiss your friends the way you kiss the person you love,” he says. Groaning, he flops back and throws an arm over his face. “I’m not explaining it well.”
Another brief few moment of silence hang in the air and it weighs on Karube, tight and compressing like all the air is going out of his lungs. It’s suddenly hard to swallow, his throat feeling tight.
He hears a shuffling off to one side, someone moving around.
“Why’s it such a big deal to you?” Usagi asks.
Karube’s quiet for a beat.
“I don’t know,” he says softly, “I like kissing. It’s nice. It makes me feel close to people, that’s all. My head, I guess it never made the distinction between romantic and platonic when it came to kissing. I’ve just always thought, 'well, I like you so I want to kiss you'.”
“Well,” Arisu starts, “I can’t talk for Chota, but it’s not like you ever made me uncomfortable with it. I mean, you asked if we were cool with it.”
“I think you kind of infected us with it actually,” Chota says, joking, “I kissed Arisu once just because he beat a crane game and it wasn’t until after that I realised it was what you would’ve done but you weren’t even around.”
He feels Niragi moves beside him, a bump of his knee against the side of Karube’s thigh. Karube shifts his arm down, eyeing him.
“Why didn’t you ever ask me? When we were just friends?” Niragi asks.
Karube feels his face heat a little.
“Well, I liked you,” he replies, reaching up to run his fingers through Niragi’s long soft hair, tucking it over his ear. “I knew I liked you as more than just friend. It seemed … wrong to use 'platonic kissing' as an excuse to kiss you when I knew it wasn’t just platonic to me. Kissing Arisu and Chota was fine because I knew it wasn't that deep. It was different with you.”
Niragi exhales quietly through his nose. Reaching up, he takes Karube’s hand, interlacing their fingers as he lays down next to him.
“I still don’t know how I feel about it, but I guess I can see your side,” he says. “Don’t think I’ll be going around just kissing people but …”
Karube’s thumb rubs against his.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, y’know?”
“If we could all agree it’s just friendly, I bet we could play quite the round of spin the bottle,” Tatta jokes to break the tension.
Niragi laughs a little.
“You’ve barely been here a minute and you already want to kiss everyone?”
That gets a short round of laughter from the rest of them.
Tatta just shrugs.
“Well, like Karube said, kissing’s nice … but he forgot one thing,” Tatta replies. Curious eyes flick towards him and he grins. “Kissing’s also fun.”
That gets more laughs.
“Damn right about that,” Kuina says, leaning to bump against him.
“Well, fun as it might be,” Ann starts, “I don’t think the rest of the park will be fine with a bunch of teenagers kissing in public.”
She earns a round of jokey 'boo's for that statement and Kuina swings an arm around her neck, pulling her in to press sticky lipgloss kisses to her cheek until Ann finally cracks and laughs.
“You know … my dad’s going away for a climbing trip in a couple of weeks. So I’ll have the place to myself for a weekend,” Usagi says, a smile plays on her lips, her brow quirking conspiratorially, “People usually play spin the bottle at parties, right?”
“I’m down if everyone else is,” Kuina says.
“Me too,” Chota agrees, making Tatta grin widely and nod.
There’s a round of agreements and they trade phone numbers for Usagi to text them when the day comes.
Karube lays with his head back in the grass, half on the picnic blanket and half off, staring up into the sky. It’s a nice day, white fluffy clouds across the bright blue sky, a gentle breeze. After a few minutes, he pushes up onto his elbows to glance around their circle.
Samura is still sitting quietly beside Niragi, though he seems to be enjoying the moment, a tiny subtle smile on his face.
Kuina and Ann are giggling. Kuina tries to keep kissing her, shiny smudges all over Ann’s cheek and even on the tip of her nose. Ann’s hands are up on Kuina’s shoulders but it doesn’t look like she’s really trying that hard to push her back.
Tatta and Chota have turned to face each other, smiling and chatting, but Karube can just see their hands intertwined in between them; it’s nice to see Chota coming out of his shell, he’s always been a bit soft-spoken unless he was around him or Arisu.
Karube’s gaze continues to Arisu, Usagi, and Chishiya.
Sitting closest to Karube, Chishiya has turned more to face the pair, his silvery head tilted as he looks at Arisu.
“Karube said it was 'practice kissing', I’m curious what was he teaching you,” he muses.
Usagi hooks an arm with Arisu’s, but leans towards Chishiya with a smile.
“You’ll have to go through me if you want to find out,” she replies.
Chishiya leans towards her, lined up almost nose to nose. Karube sees Arisu blinks widely, a little pink over his ears. A small smile twitches at the corner of Karube’s mouth. It wouldn’t surprise him if Chishiya has also caught Arisu’s eye. Though the glint in Usagi’s eyes spells a more interesting kind of trouble. Maybe it’s not just Arisu’s eyes that Chishiya’s caught.
Turning away, Karube looks back to Niragi, who’s staring up into the bright white-clouded sky. With a smile, Karube rolls to lie half overtop him, his hands landing in the grass either side of his head. Niragi blinks and his gaze focusing behind the lenses of his glasses, his dark eyes bright like obsidian in sunlight. Karube leans closer into him, bumping the tips of their noses together.
“You know I like kissing you best, right?” Karube says.
Huffing softly, Niragi smiles as he reaches up to trace his fingertips along Karube’s freckled cheek, sliding his hand to back of Karube’s head.
“You’d better.”
Karube just grins and leans in to kiss him.
He only hears the very slightest whisper from behind him, but doesn’t take much notice of it. Suddenly, a heavy weight lands on his back as two people drop onto him, almost making him squish Niragi as his elbows drop to the ground, caging either side of Niragi. He grunts lightly, pulling back from the kiss is surprise.
“Quit hogging Niragi, Karube,” Kuina says, hanging over his left shoulder.
“Yeah, let us kiss him too,” Tatta says over on his right.
Grinning, they dart in around Karube and kiss Niragi’s pink cheeks, making his face scrunch up as he laughs and Karube loves that sound.