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“I don’t even think I can look at you anymore!” Snow exclaimed.
Emma jumped up from her seat, “Mom, wait.”
“No, Emma” David interjected, “Your mother’s right. This is un-excusable.”
With that, Killian turned on his heal and exited the diner without another word. Emma swung her head back and forth between the exiting pirate and her parents. She threw her hands up in the air and stomped her foot, reminiscent of a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“REALLY?!? After EVERYTHING he has done…literally going to hell and back for us, you can’t forgive him his past?” Emma was completely done and not afraid to show it.
Snow shook her head, “He was a bad person, Emma.”
Emma gave Snow a ‘go to hell look’ and the power of it made David take a step back.
“Emma, look…” Snow started.
“No! You don’t get to come in here and point fingers. None of us have completely sparkling pasts. Maybe not as bad as his was but then I think he has more than made up for anything he has done. That man has spent centuries loathing himself and hating who he became and he has spent so much time trying to make up for it. I mean, even as the Dark One, he surpassed me in the honor department. He tried to remove the Dark One powers for good, all at the expense of his own life. He can’t change what he did…but he has damn well made up for it.” Emma seethed.
She took one last look at her parents and stomped out of the diner, intent on finding Killian.
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Killian should have known that he would never be rid of his past. He had been a villain for so long and even if he had his reasons, they were not excusable. How could he think that he could be washed clean of his sins and then be an acceptable beau to Emma. Every time he took one step forward in the hero department, he was set ten steps back for being a pirate. He would never be rid of that part of himself that caused others to be disgusted by his presence. He plopped down on the deck of the Jolly and leaned against the mast.
“Well, well, well…not good enough for the goody two-shoes and her puppy dog?” The Evil Queen appeared in front of him.
Killian sneered, “Get off my bloody ship.” He kicked out half-heartedly with his foot.
She laughed, “Is that any way to treat a queen?”
“You aren’t my Queen” he said with loathing.
“Perhaps you’re right. I do have a solution to your problems though.” She said with a grin and produced a bottle of the splitting potion.
Killian took one look at the bottle and repeated, “Get off my bloody ship.”
“Stubborn one, aren’t you. Don’t you want to be free of the pirate they all despise? To be worthy of Emma and live your happily ever after?” she inquired.
Killian thought for a moment, he was about to reach for the vial when Emma interrupted.
“Get away from him!” She yelled as she ran up the gangplank.
The Evil Queen looked between the two before smirking and disappearing in a puff of purple smoke.
“Killian, what did she want?” Emma asked with concern. She sat next to him on the deck.
“An end to my troubles.” He replied.
Emma shook her head and grabbed his hand, “You don’t have to run away from who you were. It is in the past and I don’t care.”
Killian laughed derisively, “You will. Your parents disapprove. All of Storybrooke would constantly give you their opinions. I am nothing but a villain to them.”
“Killian, they just need to accept that you are not that person anymore. They will. Come with me and we can talk to my parents again.” Emma pleaded.
Killian looked up at her. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but his spirit was hurt and he thought it best if he let her go gently before she despised him again as well.
“Emma? Do me a favor?” he asked as he looked into her eyes.
Emma nodded, “Anything.”
“Please find someone else. You won’t have your happy ending with me in the way.” He got up and went down into his quarters, leaving a shocked Emma on the decks.
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“You can’t do that!” Henry said.
“It is what he wants Henry.” Emma said dejectedly.
She had left the ship determined to show Killian that he was a hero and deserved happiness. However, the more she walked, the more frustrated she became and now she was not sure if she could give him that happiness. By the time Henry had returned home from school, she was sitting on the couch staring at the wall and convinced she should leave him alone for now.
Henry sighed and sat next to her, “Do you really think that is what Killian wants? He traded his ship for a chance to return your memories. He stayed with you even though you were mean to him”
“I was not mean” Emma interrupted.
Henry just gave her a look and she sank back into the cushions with a chagrined look.
“He fought for us when he did not know who he was and was terrified. Mom…he has died literally three times for you.” Henry continued.
“I know Henry” Emma said in an almost whisper. A tear slipped down her face. “But he doesn’t see all this. He sees what he used to be and not who he is.”
Henry nodded again, “Let me talk to him?”
Emma smiled, “Perhaps you are right kid.”
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Killian stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. In truth, it had been a short while because the tear marks on his face were still uncomfortably wet. He sat up and hurriedly wiped at his face when he heard Henry yelling for him. As he was standing, he saw the bottle of personality splitting potion sitting on his desk. The Evil Queen must have left it when she was here. Maybe it could solve all his problems, he thought. Sure the Evil Queen was running around separate from Regina and not vanquished like they thought, but they could lock up Hook and Killian would be free to be with Emma. The Charmings could not possibly fault his good side for what the evil had done.
All this ran through his mind as Henry continued calling for him. He went over to the ladder and opened the hatch, calling the boy down to his quarters.
“Killian, can we talk?” Henry asked as he entered the room.
“Aye, lad, what can I do for you?” he asked with wariness.
Henry sat in the desk chair and motioned for Killian to sit as well. Killian sat down and raised an eyebrow, waiting for Henry to spit it out.
“Look, I know you had a fight with grandma and grandpa today but we just need to remind them of who you are now…” Henry started.
Killian held up a hand. “No need lad, I have a solution so that I can be with your mother.” He held up the vial.
Henry’s eyes widened, “But that doesn’t work. The Evil Queen is now running around and my mom can’t control her. She is pure evil.”
“Lad, I have a plan. You can tie Hook up as soon as we are split. Then your mom’s can use some magic to contain him. It won’t be the same as with Regina.” Killian said.
Henry shook his head, “I don’t think it is a good idea.”
Killian stared at him for a moment, “It is either this, and you help me, or I am going to have to leave Storybrooke.”
“Fine. Do you have any rope?” Henry asked.
Killian chuckled, “I have something better.” He moved to a cabinet and pulled out a pair of handcuffs,
“Do I even want to know?” Henry asked.
Killian shook his head no, chuckling even more. He grabbed the vial and walked over to the ladder.
“Alright lad, once I drink the solution, we will grab my evil side and cuff him to the ladder. Agreed?”
Henry nodded, “On three?”
Killian uncorked the bottle. In unison they said, “One, Two Three.”
“Cheers.” Killian said and drank the potion. His eyes widened and then he collapsed.
“Killain? KILLIAN?!?” Henry shouted. He shook Killian but nothing was happening.
Henry quickly dialed Emma on the phone.
“Mom? Something’s wrong. Please come to the ship. NOW!” He yelled into the phone in a panic.
Henry got a pillow from the bunk and put it under Killian’s head/ He checked for a pulse and was relieved that he was still alive. Hopefully his mom would hurry.
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Emma rushed onto the Jolly Roger in a panic. She yelled out, “HENRY? KILLIAN?”
“DOWN HERE!” came Henry’s worried yell.
Emma rushed to the ladder and saw Killian laying at the bottom. She went down as fast as she could without stepping on him. When she was at the bottom she started feeling for broken bones or blood.
“Henry? What happened? Did he fall?” she asked, still checking for wounds.
Henry was speechless. Suddenly, Killian’s plan felt foolish.
Emma looked up at him and with her best mom face she said, “Henry?”
“He took the personality splitting potion.” Henry said sheepishly.
“AND YOU HELPED HIM? Henry, what were you thinking?” Emma asked. Then suddenly she got up, “Where’s Hook?”
“He’s right there” Henry said pointing at Killian’s still form.
Emma shook her head, “What do you mean?”
“It didn’t work. He didn’t split” Henry said as it suddenly dawned on him as well.
“Great. We have to get help.” Emma said and poofed the three of them to Regina’s house.
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As the smoke was clearing, Regina looked up and frowned, “I have a doorbell Emma.”
“Mom, there wasn’t time.” Henry said as he gestured at Killian lying on the couch.
Regina walked around the couch and sighed, crossing her arms. “What has the pirate done now?”
Emma spoke up, “He took the potion that you did. But Henry was with him and it didn’t do anything. Do you think it was different?”
“Do you have the vial?” Regina asked.
“Here it is.” Henry said, “I picked it up to show you.”
Regina took the vial and Emma ruffled his hair, “Quick thinking, kid.”
Regina did something and the vial turned a weird gold color.
“It is the same one.” She said.
“But how can you be sure, we don’t have two Killian’s running around Storybrooke. Maybe it was defective.” Emma tried to argue.
“Emma, I am positive it is the same one. I can’t tell why he did not split into good and Evil. We need the Blue Fairy to take a look at him.” Regina replied haughtily.
“I’ll get her” Henry said, running out the door before either mother could protest.
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A short time late, Henry returned with Blue in tow.
“Henry tells me there is a problem with Killian Jones” Blue stated calmy.
“Yeah, he took this potion but it didn’t work like it did on Jekyll and Regina” Emma huffed, practically shoving the vial at her.
Blue looked at the vial and then laid a hand on Killian. His body glowed for a moment and then returned to its normal state.
“Well?” Emma asked.
Blue sighed, “I see that patience is still not a virtue you possess. Evil is an essential part of all of us. It balances out the good and keeps the world in a neutral state. Without it, the balance of nature would be off kilter and cause chaos. This potion only works on those who do not understand that evil is not who we are and that our actions, in the name of good or evil, are what makes us human.”
“I don’t understand. Killian said that he was a villain. It did not sound like he accepted his evil side.” Henry asked.
“Young Henry,” Blue continued, “Killian Jones has lived a very long life and his path was quite painful. He has always excused his more reckless adventures with being inherently evil but he has always accept that his actions were his own However, if he were truly evil, he would not have been able to overcome the darkness when he was consumed with the Dark One powers. He also would not have been sent back to our world from the Underworld. Killian Jones is a powerful force for good.”
Emma looked between Killian and Blue, “We told him he was a hero and he did not believe us.”
“Words and actions often misalign.” Emma started to interrupt but Blue held up her hand, “Emma, if you were constantly reminded of your misdeeds, would you consider yourself the savior?”
“No” Emma shook her head.
Blue smiled, “The pirate puts on a good show of self-confidence. As his true love, you should be able to see past that and help heal the parts of him that are doubtful.”
“How can I do that when he is unconscious?” she asked incredulously.
“I can put your mind in his. I do not know what you will encounter but you should be able to find him and convince him that he is worth saving.” Blue said.
“And if I can’t?” Emma asked.
“He may be lost forever. I have faith in you Emma.”
Emma swallowed hard. She looked at Henry and Regina.
“You can do this mom.” Henry said with a smile.
Regina crossed her arms, “I am sure it will be fine Emma.”
Blue gestured for Emma to sit. Emma sat on the couch, cradling Killian’s head in her lap. “Ok, I’m ready.”
Blue nodded, “One last thing Emma. While Killian recognizes that his poor actions are his own, he has been continually reminded of them. It is very hard to convince someone of their worth when they have been reminded of their misdeeds as often as he has. He has made amends for his past but he needs to be convinced that he has and should be able to put that behind him for good. Do you understand?”
“I think so…” Emma sounded unsure but she took a deep breath and nodded.
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Emma awoke in what looked like the Neverland jungle but it was almost devoid of sound. It seemed too quite.
“Killian?’ She called out with no answer. She started walking and called out a few more times with no answer. After walking for what felt like fifteen minutes, she heard voices. She ran to where the voices were coming from and then came up short at the mouth of Neal’s cave. She could hear her dad and Killian talking. They must have had this conversation after she left.
“Let me give you a piece of advice, Hook. She’s never going to like you.” David said.
Hook said, “Is that so?”
“How could she. You’re nothing but a pirate.” David said.
Time flashed forward and she saw David and Killian again, this time arguing in the forest.
“What if I told you there’s a way to save you?” Killian said.
“I’d say no, because anything that takes us off course of saving Henry is selfish. But of course you would think that was the way to go.” David said.
“Bugger off. What, you think I’m being selfish? I’m risking my life for all of you, every moment I’m here aligned against him.” Killian replied.
“Please. You’re not here out of any nobility. You’re here for Emma. And let me tell you something else. You’re never gonna get her. I’ll see to that.” David said.
Wow, David was a real jerk, Emma thought. She could take care of herself, she didn’t need David protecting her. She watched as David collapsed and Killian dropped something from his pouch on the ground. She watched Killian convince David that there was a sextant on the mountain.
The scene changed again and now Killian was on top of the mountain. She saw Pan offer his deal and David come up the mountain. She saw David collapse yet again and Killian cut through the dreamshade and get the water that saved her father. They talked more and then David questioned Killian.
“One question…why risk your life for me when there wasn’t anything for you in return?”
“I didn’t do it for you mate.”
Emma rolled her eyes. The scene changed yet again and she saw Pan calling Killian, “A one-handed pirate with a drinking problem.” Emma was starting to see what Blue had meant. No matter his honorable intentions, his past misdeeds were constantly being thrown in his face. Emma winced as she remembered that she too had thrown it in his face that he was a pirate and that she wasn’t surprised that he would go back to the Enchanted Forest and look for the Jolly Roger and try to be a pirate again.
Scenes from his life came in and out of her awareness. Sometimes they were of the past before he had met her family. She saw young Killian being abandoned. She saw Killian being duped by the man that had held him in slavery. She saw things in his life that he had never told anyone and would probably be embarrassed by if he knew she had seen them.
Suddenly the scene changed again and she found herself watching her and Hook walking up to the farmhouse. Dread filled her stomach as she remembered him almost drowning in this scene. A tear rolled down her cheek when she heard herself tell Zelena, “Next time you try to take my power away why don’t you try enchanting the lips of someone I’ll actually kiss.”
Emma had not realized it at the time but she could clearly see the hurt passed across Killian’s face. No wonder he thought she would have let him drown.
Time passed in a blur. It seemed that his thoughts were on constant replay of all the events in his life where he tried to be noble and his motives were questioned at every turn. She could see the heartache and she was beginning to be able to tell when the bravado slipped into place and his real feelings were hidden. He heart nearly broke when he told Ariel, “Love brings nothing but wasted years and endless torment.”
Emma did not think she could take anymore. She fully understood now what it was like for Killian. It was no wonder that this latest revelation from his past and the reaction of her parents sent him spiraling towards wanting to end that part of him. The question was how could she find him and convince him that he was worthy?
Emma tried to think of the most recent time that Killian might have been hurting. Would he be there? As if by thought alone, the scene changed and she was back at the elevator in the Underworld. She didn’t see Killian but she felt like she knew where he would be so she made her way towards the scales that confirmed their true love status. Just before she turned the corner, she heard him talking.
“Just give it up mate, let me be free.”
“I can’t”
“Sure you can, look at all the torture we have been through, don’t you want to be free of that? Look what I made you do!”
Emma rounded the corner to see, was that, Hook?!? There were two Killians before here – one who was most definitely Hook and the other Killian.
“Hook!” she exclaimed.
Killian looked up from where he was sitting.
“Emma?” he asked.
“Welcome darling, perhaps you could convince this stubborn arse and we can be done with it” Hook said.
“Done with what?” Emma asked as she came to stand next to Killian.
Killian thought for a moment, “He wants to be free of me and is convinced that I am preventing that freedom. Tosser has been ranting at me for hours.”
Emma knelt down in front of Killian and smiled. She grabbed his hand.
“He’s right.” She said.
“What?!?” Killian and Hook exclaimed together.
“Killian, you are preventing yourself from splitting because deep inside you know your actions were evil but that you yourself always wish to be good.” Emma said.
Hook laughed deeply, “That’s preposterous.”
Emma scowled at him, “Shut up, Hook.”
“Or what, love?” Hook said with bravado.
Emma rolled her eyes and waved her hand. Hook went flying backwards and hit a wall. He was knocked unconscious by the hit.
Killian’s eyes widened.
“Now, as I was saying. Killian, you are worthy of me. I don’t care what has happened in the past.” Emma began and Killian started to interrupt so she put her finger on his lips. “I love you. Remember the last time we were here?”
At that Killian nodded and Emma continued, “If you were purely Evil, I don’t think you would be the True Love of the Savior. I’ve seen everything and I still love you. You are a good man and you deserve happiness. You aren’t a villain. I need you to come home because without you, my life won’t be whole. I lost you before and I kept going for my family and for Henry but a huge part of my heart was missing.”
Killian gulped through a lump in his throat, “Emma, I love you. More than anyone, including Liam. But your life will be miserable with me. I am always fighting Him. He is always in my head. Your parents won’t forgive my past. What kind of life is that?”
“My parents will come around. I had a talk with them and they know I am right. They were just angry. I can’t promise our lives will always be drama free. Let’s face it, we live in Storybrooke. But I can promise that no matter what, I will love you. Come home with me?” Emma stood and offered her hand.
“How do we do that? What about Him?” Killian asked.
“I think he will have a headache when he wakes up.” Emma laughed, “Truthfully? I think I know how we get out of here. And Hook will always be a part of you. Maybe we can just let him have a turn at the wheel in more creative ways.”
Killian looked at Emma with shock and his face and she gave him a saucy wink. She led him out to the elevator and this time he got in with her.
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Emma awoke with a gasp.
“Mom! Are you alright?” Henry asked with worry.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She looked down at Killian, whose eyes were still closed. In alarm, she looked up at Blue. “He came with me, why isn’t he awake?”
Blue laughed, “I think you are missing the final step.”
Emma smiled as it dawned on her and leaned down to kiss Killian. A wave of magic spread throughout the down and Killian reached up and grabbed her head, deepening the kiss.
At that moment, David and Snow burst into the room. Regina mumbled something about anyone in this family knock? and Henry chuckled.
Emma and Killian were still kissing when David cleared his throat.
“Mom, Dad, what are you doing here?” Emma asked.
“Henry called us.” David said.
“Killian?” Snow asked.
Killian sat up, “Aye?”
Snow twisted her fingers nervously, “We wanted to say that we are sorry for how we acted. You didn’t deserve it. We all have things we are ashamed of and it does no good to dwell on the past. You have proven loyalty and love of this family.”
“And we would like to also say that we will not treat you like less than family ever again.” David added.
Killian smiled and ducked his head. Then Emma saw the mask he put on and inwardly rolled her eyes. She would have to teach him to allow his true feelings out. Killian straightened.
“Thank you.” He replied.
Emma grabbed his hand, “Alright, I think that is enough for today. Let’s get you home. I think I promised Hook a chance to play.”
Killian hopped up, winked at Henry and they left in a hurry.
Henry looked at David and said, “Do I even want to know?”
David, Snow and Regina all turned red and yelled, “No” in unison.