Chapter Text
It happened for the first time a cold night in the middle of winter.
Izuku had to refill his All Might water bottle in the middle of the night, he was genuinely parched over the overly salty katsudon he had for dinner, no matter how hard he tried to make it the way his mother does it always turned out to be too salty or too bitter or not tasty enough all together, but as everyone knew he was nothing if not persistent.
That’s how he found himself feeling like all the moisture drained from his body at two in the morning.
A single grunt escaped from his mouth tossing and turning until he finally decided that he was clearly going to die if he didn’t get a sip of water in the next twenty seconds, so he shuffled out the stupid comforter and dragged himself out of the bed reaching blindly for his water bottle only to find it empty, he mentally cursed his cooking skills and tumbled out of the bed sneaking out of his room as quietly as humanly possible trying not to make his insatiable thirst everyone problem.
Every step and every shriek of the wood underneath his feet, seemed to echo in the hallway but at this point his need to chug a gallon of water was a priority over the beauty sleep of his classmates, so he decided to at least move quickly and make and end to this predicament, of course, fate wasn’t by his side.
As soon as he stepped onto the last step, he saw a shadow in the common room moving, slowly retrieving from the door and heading his way.
He was positive it was someone who didn’t belong there, he couldn’t recognize the way that shadow moved, almost trembling with sadness, he heard a sniffle and froze in place then suddenly the sensor light behind the door turned on revealing for a mere second a very familiar face tinted with tired red eyes and a frown that broke his own expression.
‘why the fuck was Katsuki outside’ he thought while a gush of freezing air swept from the door making his whole body shudder
‘and why the fuck was he awake at two in the fucking morning’ was the afterthought of his very thirsty mind that apparently couldn’t form a single thought without swearing at two in the fucking morning.
And just like that the need to drink was gone, time stopped as the picture of that saddened face burned into his eyes, for a moment he forgot his basic needs as breathing became difficult, he sprinted back to his room barely touching the floor feeling like he already witnessed something that was supposed to be private and delicate, the door behind him clicked shut and he hushed at it like he could cancel the noise that it did.
He slowly walked back to his bed the same way he got up, bottle still clutched in his hand keeping him from thinking that what he saw wasn’t real.
Why was he sad.
Why was he alone and cold.
What could have possibly compelled him to feel the need to go outside in the middle of the night and probably fucking cry from the state of his eyes.
He couldn’t fathom what could have made that unbreakable boy so sad, he felt pain constricting his limbs, the need to help but so many reason not to that his blood was fighting within his vein to find a reason to stay put instead of running back to the common room and shake the sadness out for the blonde until that ridiculous grin of his would come back to haunt his face.
The comforter swallowed him again, but the feeling of the cold wind lingered on his skin, his dream hunted by the reddened crimson eyes and the movement of a shadow that was too foreign and yet too familiar.
As a sleepless night seemed to begin in this room, a lonely boy from the other side of the corridor stared at his ceiling imagining it was the starry night he had just witnessed from the bench of the courtyard.
Infinite stars blinking rapidly as they came out of focus, blurred from the tears swelling his eyes, if someone ever asked he would blame it on the coldness, but the warmth of his hands would betray that blatant lie.
The feeling of the cold wind still hugged his skin as his body became numbed from the exhaustion of thinking, his swollen eyelids slowly closed and if swirls of green was the last thing he saw he would never tell.
It almost happened again four days later.
The blond exited his room pushed by the unhealthy routine he had established lately, it was barely after one in the morning as he dragged his feet on the wooden floor pushed by the need to feel the familiar sting of cold on his face, so reassuring. As he passed in front of the door of the room that belonged to the green-eyed boy his feet stopped, eyes fixing on the tiny blade of light glimmering trough the bottom of the door.
‘why is Izuku fucking awake at one in the fucking morning that damned nerd’ he thought just as he realized he was probably the last person who could judge him for not being asleep since he spent the last week shivering away in the courtyard
He was awake, a few meters from his reach, he could just as easily knock and be pulled by tender hands away from his thoughts, he could be basking in the green light that radiates from the boy, he could so naturally hug him back and throw his arm around him so tight that the cold he felt those past days would magically disappear.
‘what a fucking stupid thought to have you idiot’ was what his mind pulled instead, as he retreated the hand that was already almost touching the doorknob
Just like that he turned on his heels descending the steps as he walked through the door welcoming the cold once again.
For a moment Izuku could swear he felt something on the other side of the door but his mind was so engrossed by what he was reading that he couldn’t even process how cold he suddenly felt.
It actually happened two days later
The routine was already established at this point; Katsuki would exit his room around two in the morning jolted awake by his dreams and find his way to the courtyard in a zombie-like way and almost like clockwork he would be coming back to his room around an hour later.
This time tho Izuku felt his quiet steps approaching his door and rushed to it swinging it open, as he did, the blond froze, red, swollen and burning eyes fixed on the green haired boy scared as he was caught doing something he was ashamed of
“Hi” Izuku softly spoke tilting his head lightly to the right as he looked trough Katsuki, the blonde felt see-through
“Hi” he said back, a little breathy than he wished as he tried to compose himself looking away but physically unable to make another move, his body betraying his mind that screamed for a swiftly retreat
No one spoke for almost ten second, Katsuki knew because he counted them in his head, he already said ‘hi’ back he had no reason to be the one to talk again and, also, he was minding his goddamn business doing his thing and he was very aware that he probably looked like shit having had one of the possible worst meltdown of his life just a couple of minute prior so why was the stupid nerd just standing there silent looking at him like he held the answer of fucking theoretical science on his stupid, and probably reddened by the cold, face ‘fucking say something’ he screamed in his head losing his patience—
“Hi” Izuku said again
“You said that already” he spat impatiently, frustrated by the conversation but really, actually, more frustrated about being caught all sniffly and uncomfortable
“Yeah, I felt like we needed another one” he said so incredibly softly that Katsuki could swear he saw actual green holy light radiating from that boy like he was a fucking vision in his mind, he clutched his fists tightly, the feelings of his nails digging into skin to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
Izuku seemed to have noticed that, removing his warm gaze from him to his hand furrowing his brows a little.
“Wh- Why are you awake, you are supposed to be sleeping it’s already so late and—” he stopped for a second “Kacchan are you okay?” he breathed a little too much for Katsuki comfort as he shuffled uncomfortably
“Clearly you are keeping me from sleeping Deku” he said, which, was actually true in so many ways “I was about to go to my room you know, you are not supposed to scare people like that and then the audacity to ask me why I’m not sleeping, why are YOU not sleeping, uh?” he said in a weak attempt to confuse the boy and avoid the questions he was really asking
“Oh, I was reading and I heard your steps” he said stroking his eyes, Katsuki realized he was obviously sleepy so he didn’t probably notice the thing he just said, what did he mean that he heard HIS steps, its not like he walked funny or anything so that could only mean that he memorized his steps and could recognize when it was him walking, right?
That was a real detrimental thought to have for Katsuki.
He grunted, like actually grunted at that, provoking a tiny, bearably audible, laugh from Izuku, he wasn’t even funny why was he laughing that stupid nerd.
“Hi” the green holy lighted boy chanted again
“Can you fucking stop saying that” he begged uncomfortable by the softness of those two fucking stupid letters
“What should I say?” he said shifting weight from one foot to another clearly amused by the action of the blond
“Fucking nothing, just shut up okay” Katsuki said a little more harshly that he wished “Just—just let me go” he winced at his own words he sounded a little more desperate that he hoped for but also it WAS three in the fucking morning and he had little to no control over his emotion in that moment so whatever
“I don’t think I’ m physically restraining you in any way” Izuku said tilting his head again spotting a shadow of confusion on his face
And that was the last straw for Katsuki, it was way too late into the night to be talking about physical restraining and to be looking at him like that, he knew he probably would not be able to sleep at this point “Ah” he just said dumbfounded like he suddenly realised that maybe it was Izuku that held the answers to fucking theoretical science on his stupid, so stupidly, soft freckled face “Well fuck, night” he finally barely recovered maintaining a tone that could almost pass as normal
“Mhn, gnight Kacchan, please sleep well” the green boy said to Katsuki whispering loudly as the blond was already retreating to his room and gladly so, because the expression on his face was something between despair and misery after earing those last couple of words.
But as commanded, after a week of turmoil, he did in fact sleep well that night.