Chapter Text
"Ferb, can I ask you a question?" there was a peaceful silence broken by the boy's embarrassed voice.
Fletcher lowered a book down to his chest a little and glanced at his brother, who was sitting and spinning around in a chair, rolling some kind of thing in his hands.
"Can people be... like... tasty?" Phineas blurted the weird question out and then faltered immediately, mumbling under his breath. "I mean, I don't..."
"So you know, i'm not gonna defend you in a court for cannibalism, sorry, bro.” Ferb blurted out sharply and burried himself into the book again.
Phineas let out an exhale through his mouth with irritation and started clicking with the pen more nerviously.
"I didn't mean it like that!"
"I can't think of other meaning for 'a tasty person'," there was a barely visible smirk on Ferb's face.
"No, just... I don't mean like insides or anything like that and... um... a skin. yeah,"
Ferb didn't understand of why his brother reddened like a tomato. He couldn't understand more of why he got interested in people's skin so suddenly.
"Well, an every person has their own individual scents, if that's what you meant," Fletcher didn't look up from his engineering mechanics book, turning a page calmly.
Phineas was clicking the pen over one of his knees now, covered by worn sweatpants, and looked away.
There was a loud sigh and then suddenly,
"I nipped Isabella's shoulded accidently and I liked the taste of her skin."
It has never been so quiet in the room. It was a dead silence. Ferb raised his schoked eyes at the brother slowly and blinked a few times. Flynn stared at the wall, watching the hands of the clock now.
"Oh, so that's what it is..." the Britain blurted after a while, raising eyebrows, out of surprise or out of realization, "You're gonna continue or—"
"I was just helping Isabella with her duties in 'Fireside Girls' and we started joking around, and I tripped over something, fell on her and nipped her shoulder. I have no idea how it happened. It was so fast and... of course, I apologized and she seemed not to be offended but then the thought stuck in my mind that I liked it and now I can't understand if it's normal or in extremely weird," Phineas stammered out without stopping, gesturing wildly and blushing even more.
Ferb was analyzing the information for like twenty seconds (firstly, he was trying to understand of what he was even talking about) and then breathed out in relief. It seemed like his dearest brother started to realize his feelings towards their friend... in a weird way and under strange circumstances, but he still did. At sixteen years! It was the time.
Ferb shook his head at the brother's anticipated gaze.
"Maybe you'll tell the details? What it seems... weird for you? In your opinion," this conversation was worth putting the book aside and sitting on the edge of the bed, closer to Phineas.
Flynn threw the pen on the table and grabbed an another trinklet. It seemed like a small lever from their morning invention.
"Is it normal, biting people? Can... can people be delicious? I didn't know that a person can be delicious! I bit myself, and the skin tasted like a motor oil and sweat, but i've never thought that i'll ever want to do it again with somebody else."
"You specifically-" the greenhaired guy cut himself off as he fully realized the previous words, "Wait, why did you bite yourself?"
"I wanted to check one theory, nevermind," Phineas waved his hand off dismissively.
"We'll talk about it later," Fletcher grumbled a little, "but still," the boy folded his legs in a lotus position and leaned closer to his brother, "Did yoy like the fact of... um, biting itself? Or... Isabella specifically?" Ferb had it hard to keep a smile inside. It was nice to realize the fact that your closest person ever started to sound smarter (kids grow up so fast!)
Flynn stared at some kind of scratch on the floor, nipping his lip.
"You're telling me that I need to bite somebody else to answer this question?"
Okay, he started thinking not in a right way.
Ferb rolled his eyes, "No."
Phineas got silent, patting one of his knees by hand, and blurted out, "Maybe I need to bite you to—"
YOU DON'T NEED TO BITE ME," Fletcher raised his voice in schok slightly, "You need to move on into the right way."
"Sorry." the boy grumbled.
“All right, let’s try putting it another way,” the green-haired boy said, straightening up and folding his hands together. “What exactly did you like? What was it that made you feel this way?”
Phineas froze, momentarily lost. Of course, he could answer the question perfectly well but did Ferb really need to hear it? Still, he’d already thoroughly humiliated himself by starting this conversation, so there wasn’t much left to lose.
“Her skin tastes like peach rice mochi.” He blushed again and nervously began tugging at the strings of his sweatpants.
Ferb barely managed to keep from laughing. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for such… precise associations.”
“I surprised myself,” Phineas admitted. “I only felt it for a split second, but it stuck with me so much that I actually bought mochi just to compare.”
“…And?”
“They’re really similar. Even the texture.”
Phineas licked his lips and drummed his fingers against his knees. “That’s not normal, is it?”
“I wouldn’t say it’s abnormal,” Ferb replied, glancing off to the side with a vaguely knowing look.
“It’s just this weird feeling,” Phineas went on. “Like I want to do it again. And… longer. And I want to- mh…”
He trailed off, exhaling shakily. His eyes unfocused a little, and he swayed faintly, as if picturing something…
Ferb immediately concluded that his brother was simply a hopeless idiot discovering the many delights of puberty- and, apparently, stumbling upon how he wanted to express affection toward the girl he’d been in love with for years. At least, that was Ferb’s theory.
“Maybe that’s just how you want to show your… I don’t know. Your attachment to her,” the Brit said, more or less straight out.
Phineas inhaled sharply, as if snapping back to reality, and sat up stiffly.
“Attachment? You can show it like that?”
“Sure,” Ferb shrugged. “There are plenty of ways to show love: words, gifts, actions, hugs,” he listed calmly.
“But I don’t… want to bite you,” Phineas suddenly blurted out.
“What do I have to do with this?”
“Well, I love you.”
“I love you too. But those aren’t quite the same kind of love.”
Phineas blinked a few times, clearly trying to catch up.
“So you’re saying…” he said slowly, carefully, “that I want to show my love for Isabella in that way?”
“Express it, at least.”
“But can you even express love like that toward friends?”
“With friends? Not sure,” Fletcher replied evasively, looking away.
“On the other hand, I have lots of friends,” Phineas continued, the gears in his head beginning to grind into motion, “and I don’t want to show my love like that toward any of them.”
“Not even Buford?” the green-haired boy smirked.
“Oh, gosh,” Phineas muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Then why does Isabella get such a… special exception?” Ferb asked, changing tack and hoping his brother would finally connect the dots.
“I… don’t know,” Phineas admitted, flustered.
Ferb sighed.
“Maybe I should… test it again?” Phineas suddenly suggested. “You know. Just in case. Maybe I imagined it?”
Fletcher hummed thoughtfully, one corner of his mouth lifting. This was getting interesting.
“And how exactly are you planning to test that? Recreate the incident?” he asked lightly.
When his brother didn’t respond, Ferb frowned. “You’re planning to bite her again, aren’t you?”
Honestly, Ferb had never expected to have conversations like this about one of his friends. And he certainly hadn’t thought that explaining the basics of love and physical affection to his brother could actually be… fun. Not because he was making fun of him, but because it amused him just how completely oblivious Phineas was to his own feelings.
They’d helped their friends with dates countless times. Ferb knew perfectly well that Phineas drew inspiration from movies (and occasionally from Candace after all, she talked very loudly with Stacy about her dates with Jeremy; of course Phineas remembered that stuff). And surprisingly, his advice usually worked.
But when it came to himself, Phineas was utterly hopeless completely clueless about his own emotions and what they meant. Ridiculous. And kind of adorable.
“…Well…”
“Just try not to cause a disaster or make a fool of yourself,” Ferb finally said, giving in. Part of him wanted to stop this right now and simply explain everything outright. But Phineas had never liked easy answers, and Fletcher knew that.
“So when are you planning to ‘test your hypothesis’?”
“Tomorrow. She asked me to help out with the troop again.”
The green-haired boy hummed. Either they were both idiots and both blind or Phineas was spectacularly bad at taking hints. Probably the first option.
“Well then. Good luck.”