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Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
I can’t tell if Ilya Rozanov is actually gay or if he’s just European. Someone help!
Emily @rozanovsgirl81
I mean, look at him! He’s tall, muscular, has perfect skin, and a killer body. He’s obviously gay!Raider’s Fangirl @raiderss.18
He looks like any other hockey player! He’s obviously just European.#21 @definitelynotscotthunter
If you guys saw how he acts on the ice (not that I would know…) you would see that he is most definitely gay.Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
SCOTT HUNTER?? What are you doing here???#21 @definitelynotscotthunter
Shhh, it’s not Scott. I’m just giving my take on the situation;)Elizabeth Rozanov @lizzyyyy
I met him a few weeks ago, and I swear that he was wearing perfume. I hope that helps!Centaurs Girl @ottawa.cen
No straight man wears perfume. Plus, I saw a picture that circulated a while back that showed he wears lace socks!
Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows Boston’s Ilya Rozanov walking into a local restaurant wearing short-cut pants with a pair of frilly, lace socks showing out of the top of his leather shoes.]
Text Thread: Jane & Lily
Jane: Have you been on Twitter lately?
Lily: No. Why? What are they saying?
Jane: There is a viral thread that is trying to figure out if you’re gay or just European lol
Lily: WHAT?? THAT IS NOT FUNNY HOLLANDER
Jane: It’s honestly really funny. Should I give them my input?
Lily: I will never talk to you again if you say anything.
Jane: Such an asshole.
Lily: You know you love it:)
Lily: Send me what they are saying.
Jane: Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows screenshots from Twitter of people calling Ilya Rozanov gay because of the perfume he wears.]
Lily: Is not fair. You wear perfume too.
ESPN @espn
Ilya Rozanov fans are going wild here on Twitter trying to solve the mystery of whether he is gay or European. So far, all signs are pointing towards the former. Read the full story at the link in our bio.
Puck Talk @PuckTalkPodcast
You know it’s serious when @espn brings it up…Boston Raiders @BostonRaidersOfficial
The question of the century…Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
@BostonRaidersOfficial WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? Do you have any insight?Boston Raiders @BostonRaidersOfficial
🤷🤷🤷
andie @hollanovs.child
Has the question been answered yet? Is @IlyaRozanov81 gay or European????
Europe @EuropeOfficial
Facts about Europeans: kiss people on both cheeks in welcoming, style their hair with way too much product, were raised much different than Americans and Canadians, call everyone pretty, wear tiny shorts and shiny shirts, and are extremely hot. Hope this helps!!LGBTQ @lgbtq
Facts about gay men: kiss people on both cheeks in welcoming, style their hair with way too much product, were raised much different than straight people, call everyone pretty, wear tiny shorts and shiny shirts, and are extremely hot. Hope this helps!!
Hockey Lover @hockeylvr
Can someone get @IlyaRozanov81 to say something?
Shane Hollander @ShaneHollander
He usually responds to my ragebait Tweets. So I’ll try>:)Shane Hollander @ShaneHollander
@IlyaRozanov81 the people need answers. Are you gay?Ilya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov81
Fuck you, Hollander.Cliff Marleau @C.MarleauRaiders
Rozy? What’s the answer?Ilya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov81
@ShaneHollander and @C.MarleauRaiders I am blocking both of you.
Text Thread: Jane & Lily
Lily: I hate you so much.
Jane: I had to!
Lily: No sex for you. I hate you now.
Jane: It was so worth it
Text Thread: Rozy & Marley
Rozy: I am kicking you off of team.
Marley: You still haven’t answered the question, cap.
Rozy: I am not answering stupid fucking question.
Marley: You think this is funny too, don’t you?
Rozy: Fuck you.
Abbbbby @abbbbby24
I need to know who Ilya Rozanov’s stylist is asap
Ilya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov81
I dress myself bitches 😈Abbbbby @abbbbby24
Not helpful, Ilya.Abbbbby @abbbbby24
Honestly so impressed thoughIlya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov81
Was this for stupid “gay or european” thing?Abbbbby @abbbbby24
Pfffttttt no…
Hayden Pike @PikeHayden
@IlyaRozanov81 i think you’re gay and european<3
Ilya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov81
@ShaneHollander control your idiot friend.Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
What have I started…Jacki Pike @JackiPikee
@PikeHayden what did I tell you about getting into shit? I’m so sorry @IlyaRozanov81
MLH @MajorLeagueHockeyOfficial
This is a friendly reminder that it is incredibly inappropriate to bring in a large speaker and blast the song “There! Right There! (Gay or European)” from the Legally Blonde Musical when Ilya Rozanov (@IlyaRozanov81) steps onto the ice. Starting tonight, any and all speakers will be confiscated at the door. Please read our list of banned items before entering the arena.
Emily @rozanovsgirl81
Ilya has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever…#21 @definitelynotscotthunter
The day that I see Rozanov step out onto the ice to that song from Legally Blonde is the day that I die.
Raider’s Fangirl @raiderss.18
LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF ILYA!!!!
Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows Ilya Rozanov out at dinner with former Soviet goaltender Sergei Vetrov’s daughter, Svetlana Vetrova. Rozanov is seen with his hand covering Svetlana’s as they share dinner and wine. Rozanov is wearing a strong smirk as Svetlana is seen blushing.]
Emily @rozanovsgirl81
What the fuck is this?? So I guess he is just European.Puck Talk @PuckTalkPodcast
Looks like we have our answer, everyone.Boston Raiders @BostonRaidersOfficial
Is anyone else mildly disappointed?Cliff Marleau @C.MarleauRaiders
I bet @ShaneHollander is!Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
HOLLANOV CONFIRMED BY MARLEAU!!!
Text Thread: Jane & Lily
Lily: Thanks a lot, asshole.
Jane: Excuse me?
Lily: Wrong person. Sorry.
Jane: Wait. You have to tell me what happened!
Jane: Rozanov!
Jane: What happened???
Jane: Fuck you.
Jane:Tell me!!!!
Text Thread: Rozy & Marley
Rozy: Thanks a lot, asshole.
Marley: What?
Rozy: Everyone is thinking I am dating Hollander.
Marley: Well, are you?
Rozy: What the fuck? NO!!
Marley: Oops…
Text Thread: Hayd & Cap
Hayd: Shane, are you seeing this shit??
Cap: What shit?
Hayd: Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows screenshots from Twitter of Cliff Marleau saying that Shane Hollander would be upset to know that Ilya Rozanov is straight. The following screenshot shows multiple responses from people talking about “Hollanov” and “dating rumours.”]
Cap: Hayden what the actual fuck is that???
Hayd: This is SO funny
Hayd: Apparently Rozanov is freaking out and trying to get the tweets taken down lmao
Text Thread: Jane & Lily
Lily: I am taking care of this.
Jane: Just leave it.
Lily: What??
Jane: People think this is funny. Just let it go.
Four Years Later…
andie @hollanovs.child
I guess that he’s gay and European!
Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander kissing in the background of a FanMail video recorded by Hayden Pike. They appear to be touching each other.]
Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
HOLY SHIT!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!Jacki Pike @JackiPike
@PikeHayden Get inside the house now. We need to talk.Puck Talk @PuckTalkPodcast
Uh oh. Mom and dad are fighting…MLH @MajorLeagueHockeyOffical
@ShaneHollander @IlyaRozanov81 the commissioner would like to set up a meeting with you two ASAP.Hockey Lover @hockeylvr
This is so Scott Hunter coded. I love it.Centaurs Girl @ottawa.cen
Holy shittttttHayden Pike @PikeHayden
I’m so fucked…
Six Months Later…
Shane Hollander-Rozanov @ShaneHollander-Rozanov
Turns out he’s gay and European 💍👨❤️💋👨🏳️🌈
Attached Image:
[Description: Image shows Shane and Ilya Hollander-Rozanov kissing while showing off wedding bands on their ring fingers and wearing suits. Hayden and Jacki Pike, Rose Landry, Cliff Marleau, JJ Boiziau, Scott Hunter and his husband, Troy Barrett, Luca Haas, Zane Boodram, and other Ottawa Centaurs can be seen in the background.]
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov @IlyaHollander-Rozanov81
Don’t forget that I am also yours forever;)ESPN @espn
Congrats 🎉🎉Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursMHL
Those are our hockey husbands 🥹#21 @definitelynotscotthunter
Huge congratulations from Kip and I!Europe @EuropeOfficial
@lgbtq we both won!!Hayden Pike @PikeHayden
I did this!!!!Hollanov’s #1 Stan @hollanov.stan
No @PikeHayden that was all me obviRose Landry @RealRoseLandry
Proud of my babies 💖🌈Puck Talk @PuckTalkPodcast
What are the odds that the two of you can record an episode with us in a few weeks? Congrats!!Emily @rozanovsgirl81
Might be time to change my username… Don’t want Shane to think I’m trying to steal his manHockey Lover @hockeylvr
I can already imagine how talented their kids are going to beYuna Hollander @YunaHollanderOfficial
That’s my favorite son!! And Shane’s there too!Boston Raiders @BostonRaidersOfficial
So happy for you both!Centaurs Girl @ottawa.cen
I feel like I helped manifest this by being a Centaurs fan before they joined the team, just saying.Legally Blonde The Musical @LegallyBlondeTheMusical
Glad the question has finally been answered🩷 Congratulations from the Legally Blonde cast and crew!!!
