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He couldn’t bring himself to move.
“If you leave, Sebastian, don’t you ever come back!” Father’s voice grates his ears, but Glam’s feet won’t react.
He’d been careless. He should’ve known nothing could last forever. Certainly not when he was living a double life as the lead guitarist in a rock band. Glam’s heart seemed like it’d pounce out of his chest, but he knew what would happen if he stayed.
He needed to leave or Father would cut off the last bit of freedom he had.
“No,” Glam growled, trying to force down the squeak threatening to spill from his throat. “I- You don’t control me anymore.”
“Sebastian.”
Glam’s eyes locked with Lydia’s, breath hitching at the quiet and broken noise of his sister calling his name. He couldn’t keep doing this.
His feet seemed to move before his mind could.
He backed away.
This wasn’t home anymore. It never had been.
Even with Father continuing to shout and curse, threatening he would never be welcome back in the house again, Glam couldn’t bring himself to care. Rain fell onto his shoulders, dampening his hair and clothes. He tightly gripped the violin case as he stalked down the street. Glam’s lips pursed into a thin line and his mind raced, trying to ignore the reality of what he’d just done.
Coldness fell over him. Whether from the rain itself or the numb shock, he didn’t know.
Where was he supposed to go?
He hadn’t thought this through.
Glam almost considered turning back around, but the very thought made his chest tightened and his breaths came out far more labored than he’d like. He was not going back there. He couldn’t.
God, what had he done?
And then the thought hit him like a sack of potatoes.
Ches.
Glam wasn’t sure it’d be the best decision. If Ches would be fine letting him stay the night, or if he would be too much of a burden. And yet…
It didn’t look like he had another choice.
His feet ached the further he walked, steps quickening at how tight and clammy his suit now felt. At the sight of Ches’ trailer, Glam stopped in front of the door and his fist raised, poised to knock. He almost considered finding somewhere else to spend the night, but he wanted – no, needed – to see his best friend.
Glam swallowed, stifling any remaining doubt.
He knocked firmly on the door. They seemed to grow more frantic as he waited for any sign of Ches.
“We don’t have any money, go away!” Ches’ voice suddenly made Glam’s head snap up again. “... wh- Glam? What’re you doing here?” He asked, brow furrowing.
“I- I… couldn’t think of where else to go,” Glam replied. His breath caught in his throat, stumbling over his words. “Father… he knows. I can’t go back, Ches, please.”
“Dude- oh man, okay. Come inside, you’re soaked,” Ches said, stepping back and allowing Glam inside the trailer. “Jesus, we need to get you out of those clothes-”
“I… I’m fine, Ch- What am I supposed to do?”
Ches leveled him with a look before sighing, “well, first- you need a shower. I’ll give you some of my clothes, okay? But you need to wash your hair!”
Glam answered with a quiet ‘thank you’ as he followed his friend. His words died on his lips when Ches handed him a bundle of clothes and he mutely disappeared into the bathroom, the door softly clicking shut behind him. The suit was promptly discarded onto the ground, barely sparing it a second glance.
His hands shook.
Right.
He stepped into the shower, only faintly aware of the water sliding down his shoulders and down his arms. Glam had scrubbed himself clean, but honestly he wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing without moving. His mind had gone blank, simply listening to the shower running.
“Hey, come on, man! You can’t waste all the hot water!” Ches’ voice snapped Glam out of his thoughts.
“I’ll be right out,” Glam answered politely. He turned off the shower and then changed into the provided clothes. “I didn’t mean to be in there so long.” He added quietly, fingers grasped over his now covered wrist.
“What happened, princess?”
“Nothing,” Glam sighed, “I simply… lost track of the time. I’m fine.”
“Glam-”
“I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”
“Woah, what? You’re better off staying here than suddenly being homeless!”
Glam said nothing as he plopped down to sit on Ches’ bed. His knees drew up against his chest and both arms wrapped around them. A beat of silence passed between him and Ches until finally one of them dared to speak up.
“Look uh, Glam- I think you should stay here for a little. You can get back on your feet later. Hell, maybe we’ll take the band touring before you know it!”
“I- Are you sure?” Glam asked. “I wouldn’t want to… bother you.”
“Nah, you wouldn’t be, Mr. Prince,” Ches chuckled. “Seriously, the best thing you can do for me now is try and sleep. Unless you want to share a smoke?”
“No, thank you,” Glam declined flatly.
“Suit yourself.” Ches shrugged.
He tossed Glam a blanket, simply watching as his closest friend was quickly pulled away by slumber.
What time was it?
Glam’s eyes shot open as he scrambled to sit upright. Sweat trickled down his face, skin growing clammier to the touch. Tremors shot themselves through his body, trying to make sense of where he was. His head pounded and his movements seemed sluggish. Like he was riding through quicksand.
“Glam?” Ches’ voice carried through wherever he was. “What’re you doing up so early?”
Wait.
Oh.
The memories of the night before came rushing back. Glam didn’t answer, only aware of how clammy his hands were. What was wrong with him?
“You good there, princess?” Ches asked, raising a brow at Glam. “You look like you’re about to tip over like some kind of cow.”
“I… I don’t know, but I’ll be fine,” he answered.
“Uh-huh. Maybe you should lie back down.”
Just as he tried to insist nothing was the matter, Glam’s knees buckled under him and nearly sent him toppling to the ground. Ches managed to catch him before he could.
Glam groaned, “what’s… happening?”
“You’re probably coming down with something! You walked all the way here in the rain, Glam,” Ches sighed as he lowered his friend onto the bed. “You’re on bedrest, you stubborn raccoon.”
“A raccoon?”
“With those dark rings under your eyes, yeah,” Ches grinned.
Glam let out a low, breathless moan, swatting away Ches’ hand as it came into contact with his forehead.
“Shit, you’ve got a fever,” the blurry form of his friend said. “Alright, get some sleep. I’m making you some green tea.”
Before he knew it, his eyelids slipped shut – once again entering the world of dreams.
Glam’s face twisted in discomfort as his limbs twitched. His forehead remained damp with sweat and he kicked out, a low whine escaping from the back of his throat. Incoherent words spilled out of his lips.
“N-No, stop… please-”
“Glam? Come on, wake up, you’re dreaming-”
“Father, s-stop. I’m sorry…”
“Hey, come on. You’re okay,” a gentle voice spoke to him. “Sit up. I’ve got that tea for you.”
His body moved instinctively and he managed to half dangle off the bed, hands pressed against his forehead. He tried to focus on the person in front of him, but he couldn’t make out their face. Just the blurry outline of a green jacket.
And then a cup of tea was placed in his hands, faintly aware of the voice telling him it’d help.
Glam took a small sip and just blankly stared at the cup’s handle. Everything seemed too heavy, still being pulled under the fog he was currently experiencing. He was so tired, but couldn’t find any form to sleep without being plagued by vicious nightmares.
Without warning, his eyes stung and he rapidly blinked, forcing down a choking sound.
“Hey, don’t you get emotional on me, prim and proper,” a teasing lilt followed. “You’ve held out this far, right?”
“I… ruined everything-”
“You didn’t ruin shit. Come on, if your stupid family can’t see it, then they don’t deserve you.”
It was almost as if a dam had broken. Fresh, hot tears fell down Glam’s cheeks, unable to stop the sob from tearing free. His shoulders shook violently and one of his hands clapped over his mouth, trying to keep as quiet as he possibly could. He’d just thrown everything away.
Father’s disappointment burned itself into his mind.
Glam had shamed Father.
Wracking sobs escaped him, nearly startling when he was pulled into someone’s hold. He leaned into them like a touch starved cat, but he remained tense, unused to such a foreign feeling.
“You’re as sick as a dog, man. You don’t know what you’re saying,” the voice spoke again, softer this time. “Don’t even attempt to get out of this bed until you can think straight.”
“I can’t. Father will kill me if I don’t practice-”
“He’s not here. You’re fine, Glam. It’s just me, Ches.”
Ches.
“I- You shouldn’t have to see me like this,” Glam protested, but he didn’t make any effort at pulling away. He was admittedly displaying weakness, less than perfection. His stomach twisted in knots at the prospect and yet… Ches’ calming words helped.
“Well, you’re stuck with me,” Ches answered, voice oddly quiet. He helped Glam lie back down, fingers brushing briefly to push some sweat-covered strands of hair away from Glam’s forehead. “Better?”
“Yeah,” Glam nodded, burying himself into the pillow and blanket.
It was a small reprieve to have Ches with him in times like this. His brother in all but blood, but sometimes Glam caught the way Ches’ gaze lingered on him a little too long or how his fellow guitarist liked to suddenly spin him around. A calming island in the constant waves crashing against Glam’s gilded cage.
If only it could help quench the storm brewing inside him now.