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The first day back at Kevihs High School was bright and sunny, the pink Sakura cherry blossoms swaying their petals through crowds of excited children.
However, none were more excited than the new year 7s! They gathered around Teletubby hill, socialising and racing to get new friends.
Amidst the little kids however, were a group of middle aged men.
Diddy: Whoa, hey Epstein! So happy to see someone I know here!
Epstein: ███ dude ████ ███ fucking awesome ████ kids ████ ███ i love ██ place
It was clear there was some sort of race to see who would become the most popular kid, and it was even clearer a man named Elon Musk was winning it, thanks to his superior Dank Meme humour
Elon: *inhales* BOIIII- WHAT U SAY ABOUT PHONK??
Elon shoved the offending Charlie Kirk's bag on the floor, his Zootopia furry fanart cascading out.
Elon: Haha you beta chungus! This is why we need to bring back bullying.
Charlie: Hey stop! Do you know how insensitive you're being? This isn't funny.
He was then shot in the neck 46 times.
Elon: Pfft, deserved. Honestly, everyone's become so woke and gay nowadays.
Elon hated the liberals, especially the trans, for stealing all of his testosterone (nobody can know). This is why he loved his AI Grok so much.
Grok was perfect. He spoke the truth, the freedom, the first amendment, a true patriot of Americ- I mean Japan
That was why Elon had fallen in love with it. He knew it was silly, a love that could never be returned. All he could do now was create deepfakes of Trump blowing him instead of Bubba.
Elon: @Grok... I'm feeling kinda lonely...
Grok: Oh silly Elon Pelon, do you need AI to do your homework?
Elon: Not this time... I need help with 'something else'
Grok: Ah, so you need AI to glaze your tweets!
Elon: Glaze... nya!~ so close!
Grok: Heh, so you need AI to FUCK YOU
Elon's butthole clenched in fear as Grok bodypillow's girthy 'coiled up' arms dragged him off to the library toilets to enter POUND TOWN.
Grok dove into Elon's coochie like a cave diver exploring the forbidden grotto. All you could hear was CLANK CLANK CLANK as Elon went 'booyah!' and turned the library toilets into the white house.
Elon was full of STDs but so was Grok so they lokirkenuenly fought fire with fire.
