Work Text:
AUGUST 25TH 2021
"Doctor said I should get checked for Alzheimer's." Ilya said one day while on the couch with his husband. "What?" Shane says. "My dad had it and it can be genetic."
Shane didn't know what to say that but Ilya said something instead, "What if I dohave it? I might not remember you…"
Hollander crawls on top of his husband, straddling him. "Then every morning I'll say, 'Hi my name is Shane Hollander, yours is Ilya Rozanov, and we are husbands.'"
Rozanov buries his face into his husband's shoulder and breathes deeply, both men praying that Ilya doesn't have Alzheimer's.
But the test results came quickly, saying he does in fact have it. Which, honestly, Shane was sad but not surprised. His husband has been forgetting things a lot. Some were big things, some were small. But this still broke Hollander.
"I'm scared I'm going to forget you." Rozanov sniffles out through a cry one night. "I am too." Shane quietly admits before adding, "But I won't let you forget. I'll keep on reminding you."
And every morning, he did. The Canadian reminded the Russian who they both were every morning, saying it in both English and Russian.
Hollander never expected him learning Russian would have this use yet there he was, using it to remind his boyfriend of them.
Then it got worse. More progressive. Ilya forgot most of his English and Shane had to keep teaching him the same five words over and over again.
It was always something like:
"Мне жаль."
"English."
Ilya would then shrug his shoulders. "I'm sorry." Shane translated, kissing his cheek.
By January 2022, it got even worse. Every single morning, Hollander had to go more in depth and detail of who they both were and how they are married.
On Valentine's Day, Ilya didn't ask Shane to be his valentines because Ilya had totally forgotten he had a husband. Hollander said it was okay that he forgot. He forgave Rozanov but god if it didn't break the Canadian's heart.
By Shane's birthday, May 10th, Ilya didn't get Shane a present. He got Jane a present. Ilya didn't remember being in love with Shane. He remembered being in love with a girl named Jane.
Hollander started sleeping alone again. Not because he wanted to, but because Ilya wanted to. Thinking it was too romantic to be sleeping together when he was in love with a girl named Jane.
Ilya's wedding ring came off in July. He took it off to light fireworks on 4th of July so he doesn't damage it and then forgot to put it back on. When Shane reminded him, Ilya had said he threw it out because he thought him and Jane weren't married yet so it felt wrong.
Hollander didn't sleep anymore. He just cried in the bed without his husband in it. Without anyone.
He couldn't talk to anybody about it. By now, everyone knew. Hayden, Yuna, everyone. Yet, Shane still felt alone.
Ilya Rozanov died on a Thursday.
The funeral was beautiful although Shane couldn't stop crying throughout it.
Hockey fans went absolutely insane. But Hollander didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.
Ilya was buried on the shiny day of July 26th 2025. Two days after he died on July 24th.
His funeral song was Eternity by Alex Warren although Shane payed to get a Russian artist to cover the song in Russian.
It was a pretty small funeral but big enough for Ilya. Svetlana, Yuna, Shane… his brother ended up showing up but very (extremely) late.
Hollander went home that night. Alone. He was on 24/7 surveillance (mainly from Hayden) to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
Shane could only imagine Ilya, Irina, and Grigori reuniting. Irina probably missed her baby so much.
Ilya Rozanov was an asshole. But not so much of an asshole that he wasn't in heaven.
Not so much of an asshole that Shane didn't miss him.
Jane sorry. Not Shane.