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Shaun’s gaze was forcefully averted from his laptop and onto his phone which had suddenly started ringing. At the sound of the tone alone, even before he saw who was calling, he felt traces of panic. The only reason he kept his phone near him while he worked was in case of a Zach- or Cody-related emergency—it would’ve been locked away in another room otherwise. The compromise had been to set different tones for different contacts so he knew whether or not he needed to pick up. It had come in handy a few times: once when Zach’s car broke down on the highway and another when Cody needed to be taken home from school early due to a suspected outbreak of lice. When he looked down at his phone, however, he found that he had forgotten to change one of his contacts over from ringer to buzzer—his brother Gabe.
When he saw his name, Shaun felt a pang of annoyance with his relief. Neither of his boys were in trouble, but, once he got into a groove, getting pulled out of it could be detrimental and, given he didn’t have much time to work on his novel between his part-time job at the local library and his full-time job after of being a boyfriend and father, he couldn’t afford to waste any of the little free time to write that he had. This book, the third in his trilogy, was highly anticipated by both his editor, publisher, and the general masses. His second, which he found inspiration to finish after moving into an apartment with Zach and Cody in Los Angeles near Zach’s campus, had been an unexpected hit. Since then, everyone had been dying to hear more about what mysteries and dangers lay beneath the surface of the gated community his characters called home. There were even talks of auctioning off the film rights, but he wasn’t holding his breath for a film to be made any time soon.
Shaun shook his head. He couldn’t let himself get distracted. Ignoring his ringing phone, and writing down a note to change Gabe’s ringer settings, he got back to working on the sentence that had been interrupted. After what felt like ages, his phone finally stopped. Just as he got back to typing, however, it began to ring again. And, again, it was Gabe who was on the other line. Clearly, he thought, his brother was in some sort of emergency that he, almost one hundred miles away, was somehow uniquely qualified to deal with. Shaun took a deep breath, preparing for the worst and for the fact that he wasn’t going to get any writing done before his shift. There was always tonight, he thought, which wouldn’t be so bad. He liked running his ideas by Zach—one artist to another—something he never realized, until Zach came into his life in this capacity, had been missing from all of his previous relationships.
“Is something wrong?” Shaun asked immediately after answering the call, cutting straight to the point before Gabe, if he wasn’t in some sort of emergency, got to talking.
“What? No, nothing’s wrong, wh-”
“I’m busy, Gabe. I gotta get back to writing. Can this wait?”
“Is Zach there?” He asked. Not an answer to his question.
“He started that art teacher gig last week,” Shaun replied, “He’s got more stable hours now. He’ll be home after five thirty if you want to talk.” His brother never listened to a word he or Zach said, Shaun thought. They had talked about Zach’s new job two weekends ago when he had visited. Now, because of his lax memory, a call that Zach didn’t pick up resulted in a call he had to.
“Is Cody around?” Gabe asked, skipping completely over what Shaun had said. Whatever game he was playing, Shaun was getting annoyed.
“No, I just dropped him off at summer camp. Whatever it is you want, can you please get to the point?” Shaun replied. He didn’t mean to be so irritating, but he knew Gabe wouldn’t take the hint otherwise.
“Perfect!” Gabe replied. What? “Dude, did you see the news? You can put those rings you bought to some actual use!”
Shaun’s cheeks flushed. The rings he had purchased—a simple set of matching, silver bands—were currently sitting at the back of his sock drawer behind the old socks neither he nor Zach ever pulled out. He was sure that no one else would be able to find them, which, of course, begged the question: how did Gabe know about them?
“What rings?” Shaun asked, feigning ignorance. He was suddenly very glad Gabe had no way of seeing him—otherwise, his countenance would’ve given him away immediately. Even without the extra help of being able to see his red face and the fact that he was pinching the bridge of his nose, he was sure his lie wouldn’t work.
A few moments of silence passed before Gabe answered. “There’s no way you were that drunk,” was his reply.
Shaun thought for a moment. Gabe had swung by their place two weekends ago. Cody was at camp, he didn’t have a shift at the library, and Zach hadn’t started his new job yet. It was the last time, for the foreseeable future, at least, that their schedules would align to make anything like it possible. It was the busy season, but Shaun had lived in LA long enough to know the best places to surf. He hadn’t done much surfing there before Zach and Cody moved back with him, but surfing was a non-negotiable for Zach, so they brought their boards and surfed when they could. That day, Gabe had driven down with his own board and their day was lost to the waves.
“I told you when you came over?” Shaun asked. He couldn’t remember having that conversation.
That night, after Cody had gone to bed, the three men stayed up drinking. Gabe knew that meant he would be spending the night on their couch, but he didn’t mind. In return, he would get to hear how Shaun and Zach had really been adjusting from serious summer fling to living together with a kid on top of working and, eventually, going to school. On the phone, whenever he asked how things were going, both men would say that things were ‘great’ or any other synonym that could stand in its place. They knew the whole arrangement had made him a little uncomfortable at first, so they viewed his asking as more of a formality. Something a brother slash best friend should do but not necessarily something the brother slash best friend would want to hear details about. After knowing about it for almost a year, though, he started to find their simple answers to be… lacking. Zach was still his best friend. If Shaun were any other girl—or, well, guy—he would’ve been straight with him. He thought it should be no different even if the guy was his brother. So, Gabe set out to get some real answers while he had the chance.
After taking the first sip of his drink, Shaun realized he should’ve been the one to make them—not Gabe. Communications was only his major on paper. His real passion, and what he spent much of his time doing, was drinking. Shaun liked to joke about him switching his major to it, and Gabe always joked back that a degree in communications was basically the same thing. This, of course, meant that he could handle his liquor far better than either Shaun or Zach could and that a drink that wasn’t very strong to him would be strong to them. Whether it was intentional or not—which, looking back, seems like it was—the drinks being so strong made the two men open up more than they would’ve otherwise.
For Gabe, the night started out like every other night he spent with his brother and best friend with the two lovebirds sitting next to each other—crammed next to each other, really—on their loveseat. Shaun’s arm was draped around Zach and Zach’s head was nestled on Shaun’s shoulder. Gabe, meanwhile, got a good view of the whole ordeal on the couch he spread himself out on after the loveseat had been claimed.
Gabe had known his brother was gay for much of the time he could remember knowing him, but he almost never got to see it. He had moved away to LA years ago and kept his private life, well, private—even from him. Part of it, he knew, was his own fault. He liked to joke around with Shaun about it. Call him a few names here and there. Out of love, of course. To show he was comfortable with it. Sometimes he wasn’t sure if that intention got all the way across. He was trying to be different, though. Better—especially now that his best friend was in the picture. He couldn’t imagine saying anything his best friend did was faggy, so he didn’t. Gabe imagined the reason Shaun let him in more than he ever had before was mostly because he accidentally started a family with his best friend—whoops—but he also imagined at least a part of it was because he had changed and had begun to be more receptive to it all. He wished it hadn’t taken dating Zach to trigger this new and improved and open version of his brother, but he was taking what he could get.
Before they got to talking about themselves, Shaun and Zach asked Gabe about him. How his life was. How classes were going. If he was seeing anyone and, if he was, if it was serious. He answered the first two honestly, but laughed at the third. He wasn’t planning on settling down any time soon. He was happy that Zach had a wife and kid, as he called it, with a dog in the works, too, but that that life wasn’t for him. Not yet, anyway.
Gabe saw the wheels turning in Shaun’s head. He figured it was because he had referred to him as Zach’s wife. Had that been too much? He would apologize later—after Zach passed out, which he was always the first to do, even if he wasn’t the one making the drinks. At that point, he was sure Shaun would be sufficiently hammered and would be truthful about whatever it was that was on his mind.
When it finally came time for Zach and Shaun to talk about their own lives, their drinks had already been graciously refilled by Gabe. Twice. He knew the truth was going to come out, so the challenge was whether or not it would come out before Zach fell asleep on Shaun’s shoulder.
What he learned, at first, was no surprise. It had been a hard adjustment. There wasn’t much left for Zach in San Pedro and Shaun had already been established in LA, so, for them, life went on pretty much business as usual. The crux of their hardship, thus, came down to Cody. He was sad and confused by the fact that his mom and grandpa weren’t around any more and why they never called but, after a while, he settled down, too. He was having fun at school and making so many new friends and finally had two parents that were around at the same time to love him. There was no longer the awkward dance of passing him off to whoever wasn’t working a shift and there definitely wasn’t any fighting over who had to be the one to take care of him. Even before they moved, Cody had started calling Zach his “daddy,” but, after a few months, he started referring to Shaun as “dad.” The first time he had done it, Shaun nearly burst into tears, he told Gabe. Even at just bringing it up, Gabe could see his brother’s eyes start to moisten.
With Cody in school, it was much easier for both of them to find work, even if it was just part-time. Shaun still worked on his novels, finishing his second a few months after the three of them moved in together, and Zach still worked on his art when he found some free time, but they needed to pay for rent and for food and for Cody to have clothes not found in the cheapest section at the thrift store. There was a position as an art teacher that was opening up over the summer that Zach was starting soon that paid better than his current job and had more normal hours and Shaun had been able to pick up more hours at his library gig and, during down time, could work on his novel while still on the clock.
Really, as both men were happy to tell Gabe, considering the odds were stacked against them from the start, they had a pretty good thing going. They had found a natural rhythm living together and, as of that morning, at least, hadn’t gotten tired of waking up to see the other’s face. Shaun had even adjusted to sometimes waking up in the morning to find that Cody had settled between them in the middle of the night because of a bad dream he had or when he just couldn’t sleep. As he said this, Shaun squeezed Zach’s shoulder.
Gabe was getting tired of all the mush. He could’ve surmised this from the ‘great’ he got over the phone. This all fit under that umbrella. Where was the drama? The intrigue? Surely their lives couldn’t be so picturesque.
Finally, Zach’s troubles were aired. He was worried about how he would manage classes this fall on top of working. He was incredibly thankful that his full-ride took care of tuition, but it wasn’t like the school was sending him a refund check for the room and board he wasn’t spending. He and Shaun had made a budget and it looked like things would be okay, but Zach’s history conditioned him to believe things wouldn’t work out in the way he planned. He hadn’t planned to be doing any of this, after all. But here he was. He planned to get his art degree, but that plan could easily go out the window. Not all unplanned surprises could be as good as this one had been.
Shaun gently rubbed Zach’s shoulder as he spoke. Gabe got the impression that this was a conversation they had already had. Regardless, he hadn’t heard it before, and it was more than Zach had opened up about his life to him in a long time.
Gabe replied that he wished he lived closer so that he could look after Cody when the two of them needed a break. Where had that come from? Based on Zach and Shaun’s expression, they were also wondering where it had come from. It must’ve been the drinks, he thought.
Gabe turned the conversation back to them, asking Shaun what was stressing him out. He responded awfully quickly.
“Oh, uh, nothin’, dude,” he smiled. His cheeks were flush. “I’m all good. I’ve got the book to worry about, of course, but that’s… that’ll come together.”
From where he was sitting, Gabe could tell that was a lie. He hoped, however, that Zach was too tipsy to notice.
“He’s been working really hard…” Zach started to say before getting interrupted by a yawn, “…on it.” Looking forward and blinking a few times, he slowly realized he should probably go to bed.
“I’m gonna head to bed,” he said, voicing his thoughts as he thought them, something he couldn’t help but do when under the influence, “You two should have some alone time, anyway.”
Due to how stuck they were in the loveseat, both men had to get out at the same time in order for Zach to go anywhere. Once up, Shaun pointed his thumb to the bedroom. “I’m gonna…” he started, “I’ll be right back.” Zach and Shaun walked back to their room, Zach using Shaun as support to stop himself from falling over.
Gabe took another sip of his drink. Seeing Zach and Shaun be so domestic stirred something in him—an emotion he knew he was feeling but one that was just out of reach from being identifiable. With one fewer drink he was sure he would’ve been able to identify whatever it was, but, given the general nature of how he felt, he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know what it was that he was feeling. It was better to just be a little numb, he thought.
“Yeah, after Zach went to bed. Dude cannot handle his liquor. You two gotta go to some parties after his classes start up. I’m sure I know a brother down there, I could—“
“Gabe. I went to bed when Zach went to bed. When could I have possibly told you?” Zach asked, interrupting the rabbit hole he was afraid of.
“Is that how you remember it?” Gabe asked. “You came back and we kept talking.”
Gabe heard a kiss coming from the direction of Zach and Shaun’s bedroom followed by a door closing and a thwumph from Zach landing on his bed. Their bed. There was that feeling again. Gabe pushed it down as his brother came back to the living room, taking another sip of his drink then swinging his legs off the body of the couch to make room for Shaun. Shaun saw the gesture but, before sitting, took Zach’s empty glass over to the sink. When he came back, he picked up his glass, took a sip, then sat down facing his brother, his glass in his hands.
“You seem happy,” Shaun commented as he sat, noticing the grin on Gabe’s face.
“I never get to see you like this, dude. All sweet.”
“Oh shut up,” Shaun replied. His hand tightened on his glass.
“I’m serious!” Gabe retorted. “I never saw you after you moved away. And it’s not like you ever brought your boyfriends home.”
Shaun relaxed his grip. Maybe his brother was actually trying to say something nice to him. There was usually a punchline and, when there was, he was always the butt of the joke—but this time, if there was any sort of a slight coming, he couldn’t see it. He took another sip of his drink. If his brother was being sweet on him, he would need it.
“Then I’m glad this worked out,” he replied. A stint of silence passed. Gabe took a sip of his drink, and so did Shaun. “Cody likes having you around,” Shaun said, “Another familiar face. Uncle Gabe.” He laughed a little as he smiled.
“That little dude is cool,” Gabe smiled. “He gets it from Zach, I’m sure.”
Shaun smiled down at his drink.
“How did the rings even come up?” Shaun asked.
Shaun had purchased the rings a week before Gabe had come for a visit. Weeks before, the topic had come up between himself and Zach. Zach, a bit tipsy, had mentioned that, if he and Shaun could get married, that he’d really like to wear matching rings. Something simple, he said—not too flashy, not too in-your-face. They didn't have the money to be buying diamond rings, anyway. As he said it, he held his left hand up and looked at it longingly. One too many drinks, Shaun thought—had he not considered getting the rings anyway? Deflated by thinking they couldn’t, Zach lowered his hand and took another sip of his drink, followed by a few more.
Shaun wasn’t about to let a silly thing like legality stop them from getting rings. Who cared if the state didn’t see them as being married? They could wear rings all they wanted and nobody could stop them. It was then that he devised to go out ring shopping and to buy the two of them a matching set. He wanted to run the concept by Zach one more time—this time while sober—before giving them up, so he vowed himself to absolute secrecy while the rings were in his possession. He would tell no one. It could be months before they talked about it again, but it was time he was more than willing to wait.
“I asked about you and Zach,” Gabe said, “That’s all it took. You seemed pretty eager to tell me about them.”
“So how are things with you and Zach,” Gabe asked, “Really?”
“I told you,” Shaun replied,” They’re great.”
There was that word again.
“And?” Gabe pressed.
“And,” Shaun said, lowering his voice to a whisper, “I’m planning on proposing to him.” A bright smile cropped up on his face. From the moment he had resolved to propose to when he stood at the counter picking out their rings, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from smiling whenever he thought about it. “I already have the rings.”
Gabe blinked a few times, processing this information. He realized why Shaun had squirmed when he mentioned the word ‘wife’ earlier. He knew, logically, this wasn’t a big step. They lived together. They had a kid. Why not add some rings to the mix? They wouldn’t be anything more than symbolic, anyway. So what was the problem? What was he feeling? Gabe took another sip of his drink. With any luck, he wouldn’t remember feeling any of this in the morning.
Shaun, even in his inebriated state, could tell something was off. “I was gonna ask you, first,” he said, “To see if it would be okay.”
“Dude, of course I’m okay with it. Tying you down might finally keep you outta trouble.”
Gabe lightly punched his brother on the shoulder, giving him a smile as he did so. He was happy for his brother. Really. And he was happy for his best friend. They were, somehow, perfect for one another. They complimented each other in such a way that made Gabe believe in soul mates. And there was that feeling again. He hoped he would find someone that made him feel like settling down. Like starting a family. Someone he loved.
“Did you call just to heckle me about proposing to Zach?” Shaun asked, “Look, I know it’s still a little weird for you, but-“
“What? Dude, no, you know I’m totally on team you two, were you listening to me? I called because I know you two lovebirds are too busy between your work and Zach’s work and both of you looking after Cody to keep up with the fucking news.”
“What could possibly be on the news related to me and Zach starting to wear matching rings?” Shaun replied, realizing what could be on the news related to that very subject as the words tumbled out of his mouth. He had heard—months ago, now—that the California Supreme Court would be hearing a case that might allow for marriage licenses to be granted to same-sex couples. He never imagined it would rule in their favor.
“SCOTUS just said go nuts!” Gabe replied.
“It’s not SCOTUS,” Shaun replied, the details of the case coming back to him, “It’s just in California.”
“Dude, semantics. You gotta propose to him like now! Or, well, when he gets home from work.”
“What’s the rush?” Shaun asked, putting his phone on speaker mode and setting it down so he could open up another tab on his laptop to make sure Gabe had gotten the details of the case correct. Communications, he reminded himself.
“They’re already trying to get rid of it,” Gabe replied. “Some group has something on this fall’s ballot to overturn it.”
“When did you become a political junkie?” Shaun joked, finding the same information he had just been relayed on multiple different news outlets.
“In all the free time I have because communications is a joke of a major,” Gabe replied, “Because, believe it or not, I care about you and Zach. That’s still my best friend we’re talking about, and I want what’s best for him. Which, now that you two crazy kids can tie the knot, includes sweet tax and health care benefits.”
“You have way too much time on your hands,” Shaun replied, “I’m gonna come down there and find you a girlfriend. Or tell your professors to give you more homework.” Shaun paused for a moment. “But, really, thank you for calling. I appreciate it.”
The remainder of the week, Shaun thought about how best to propose. Propose. After how ugly his last breakup was—and because it revolved around the same subject, his last boyfriend being the one not wanting to be tied down—he couldn’t believe he was back to thinking about marriage. It was only as the week came to a close that he decided on a time. He worked early on Saturday mornings and, because of that, got up even earlier in the morning to make and eat breakfast. To spend some extra time with him, Zach got up, too, and joined him. It was quiet and it was intimate and it was just the two of them, and it was the only time during the week those three things were true at the same time.
That morning, he made sure Zach left their room first so he could slip the box containing their rings into the pocket of his pajama pants. Examining himself in the mirror, he ensured the box wasn’t too visible. Verifying it was hidden enough, he took a deep breath and made his way to their kitchen.
“Gabe called me earlier this week,” Shaun said as he poured himself and Zach a glass of orange juice. He thought his hands might shake, but they were eerily calm. The longer the rings were concealed in his pocket, the more they burned, but he surprised himself at how well he was able to hide it. The idea had come up before, after all. He was sure Zach would say yes. But he hadn’t expected to be proposing so soon, and he hadn’t expected for a ‘yes’ to be anything more than symbolic. Shaun was nervous—not for Zach’s response, but for what would come after.
“Oh yeah? What’d he want? Is he thinking about coming down again?” Zach asked, turning to face Shawn as he put a few slices of bread into their toaster. He was wearing what he usually wore to bed—a pair of Shaun’s pajama bottoms and a tank top. Shaun couldn’t believe how handsome he looked in the glow of the sunrise as it bled through their windows.
“No, nothin’ like that. He, uh, he’s been reading the news, apparently. Or watching it, anyway. Saw something and thought of us.”
Shaun pushed Zach’s glass over to him. When he saw Zach looking at him, he turned around and made himself busy getting plates from the cupboard and butter and eggs from the fridge.
“Is he sick or something?” Zach joked. He could tell something was bothering Shaun. He thought he was good at hiding his emotions. The fact that he wasn’t was a little secret that he decided to keep to himself. Because of it, Zach knew that something about this phone call had spooked him. “I don’t see him watching the news otherwise.”
Shaun laughed, which helped to calm the nerves he was still so sure he wasn’t showing. He had thought the same thing, after all. Surely, if his brother was watching the news, he was sick. Probably got a cold from hell freezing over.
“Nah,” he replied, “He’s been keepin’ up with some California Supreme Court case I’d never heard of.”
“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Gabe?” Zach asked, joking again. The situation was too absurd not to.
“Right?” Shaun laughed, “I was pretty shocked when he told me.” As Shaun cracked the eggs into a bowl, added some water, and mixed the concoction, Zach made himself busy by getting out a pan and heating some butter on the stove.
“What was the case about?” Zach asked, his curiosity finally getting the best of him. He was sure Shaun would’ve spat it out eventually, but he kept beating around the bush and Zach wanted the cold shoulder to stop.
“It, uh, legalized gay marriage. In California, at least. If you can believe it,” Shaun said, pouring the egg mixture into the warmed pan.
Zach looked at Shaun as he stirred the eggs in the pan and, notably, didn’t look at him. “That’s pretty cool,” he said. Was there an implication there? Or was he making this into something it wasn’t? Because, to him, it sounded like Shaun wanted to get married. Right? It was something they both wanted. That’s what this was about. It had to be.
“I thought so. Gabe said there’s already a law to overturn it that’ll be on the ballot this fall, though.” Shaun could feel Zach’s eyes on him. When their burning became too much to handle, he turned to look at him.
“Are you asking me to marry you, Shaun?” Zach asked. He was still holding the knife he used to butter their toast in his hand. He placed it in the sink.
“I wanted to run the idea by you.” Shaun set his spatula down and pulled the small box containing the matching rings out of his pocket and handed it to Zach. “I got these before Gabe and I talked. I was going to wait longer but, with the law possibly getting overturned, I figured I’d… try my luck.”
Zach took one ring out of the box and put it on his ring finger. Holding up his left hand, he smiled as he examined how the simple ring looked. Keeping the ring on, he handed the box back to Shaun, his eyebrows raised.
Shaun got the hint and tried his own ring on, something he had hadn’t done since he picked them out, waiting instead for this moment. Zach hadn’t responded to his proposal, but, given he was still wearing the ring and smiling like an idiot, he figured he had his answer.
“Of course I’ll marry you, Shaun,” Zach replied once Shaun had his ring on, closing the distance between him and his fiancé. Cupping his face with his left hand, he thought about how natural the scene felt with a ring on his finger. The kiss they shared, too, felt different. Better, somehow. He could feel the cool metal against his back side as Shaun slid his hand under his shirt and pulled him closer.
If Zach had been the same person he had been when he and Shaun first met, or even who he had been when they had moved to LA, he would’ve been asking the other man one question after another. Was this what he really wanted? He had a life before this. One without a kid. Was he really sure he wanted to go through with this? He hadn’t asked for any of this. He wouldn’t have been able to believe that anyone would do something like this for him. With him.
But he wasn’t the same man anymore. If Shaun wanted to run, he had every opportunity to do so. He knew exactly what he was getting himself into when he agreed to move in together and he had been there, showing up for him, every day since. He was there every morning when he woke up and he was there when they made their coffee and their breakfast and he was there when he needed help with Cody or when he had a hard day at work or when he needed someone to bounce ideas off of and, then, he was there when they went to bed every night. If he didn’t want to be there, Zach thought, he had a really funny way of showing it.
When Shan realized the eggs were in desperate need of his attention, their kiss turned into a loose embrace. Shaun stood behind Zach, his left arm snaking around the other man and up his shirt to rest on his stomach. Zach couldn’t get enough of how the cool metal of the other man’s ring felt against his skin nor the feeling of the matching one on his own hand. Shaun’s right arm worked to scramble the eggs, and his chin rested gently on Zach’s shoulder.
“Can I run something by you?” Zach asked, watching mindlessly as the eggs scrambled. “Another idea.”
“You’re not having second thoughts, right?” Shaun joked, punctuating his words by a gentle kiss on Zach’s neck.
“It’s about Cody,” Zach replied. He moved his own left hand on top of Shaun’s and squeezed it gently.
“Alright,” Shaun said, “Lay it on me.” Shaun turned off the burner with his free hand. If he had thought about it, he would’ve turned the burner lower before he added the eggs to stretch that moment out as long as possible. Because he hadn’t, he pulled himself away from Zach and dished out the eggs and the toast that had been sitting ready.
“How would you feel about trying to get custody over him?” Zach asked, accepting his plate from Shaun, “After we’re married.”
“I’m in,” Shaun said without hesitation. He had hesitations, of course, but none that would prevent him from wanting this. He loved Cody as if he were his own kid. Hell, at this point, he was his kid. He called him his dad, after all. But he knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy. There would be lawyers and court dates and paperwork and fighting, but he was in.
“I know this situation was supposed to be temporary. And that Jeannie was supposed to come back. But I don’t think she’s coming back,” Zach said, clearly not having comprehended Shaun’s response, “And would you kill me if I said I don’t want her to? I love what we have.”
“Zach,” Shaun laughed, “Did you hear me?” Shaun placed a hand on each of Zach’s shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I’m in. I want this, too.” Shaun knew how hard it was for Zach to believe this—not because he himself was in the business of lying to him or not showing up for him, but because almost everyone else in his life was. Shawn had noticed that Zach had slowly stopped double-checking with him as their relationship went on, but he was sure that the other man was still thinking those thoughts. How could he not? A lifetime of disappointment couldn’t be eroded so quickly.
“I love what we have, too,” he concluded. He was always more than happy to provide the reassurance he knew Zach craved—even if he had stopped asking for it.
Shaun ran his hands slowly down Zach’s arms and, as he did so, Zach could feel Shaun’s ring tracing a cold line across his skin. He felt the weight of the matching ring he had on his own finger, something he was more than happy to be continually reminded of because, really, it was a constant reminder that they were in this together.