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A ray of moonlight shone through Arthur’s window, drawing a thin line of light across the dark room. The candles had long since been blown out and all that remained of the dying fire was a faint red glow. Arthur lay in bed, awake. He hadn’t fallen asleep in the first place. His ears strained to listen to the quiet of the night. No footsteps of servants rushed through the corridors. No distant quarrels of knights could be heard. The only noise was the whisper of a faint breeze. Perfect.
Arthur extracted himself from the thick duvet and now stood in the centre of his chambers. Listening: a soldier on a stealth mission. After hearing no sounds of life outside his room, he gingerly opened the looming wooden door. After swiftly scouting both directions with quick glances, Arthur began his quiet creep down the corridors. He knew that where he was going would attract no other visitors, and after what felt like an age of twisting corridors and passages, Arthur had arrived.
He took a deep breath in and pulled the stiff handle of the storage closet. He was flooded with a wave of relief when a look inside revealed it to be empty. So, Arthur stepped inside, closed the door, and allowed himself a moment to breathe.
Here he wasn’t weighed down by the pressures of being prince. Here: stood in his sleep clothes in a storage closet in the middle of the night; he wasn’t Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Camelot. He was just Arthur.
Suddenly a small twist of the handle from the other side tore Arthur away from his thoughts. As the door opened slowly, he was once again filled with relief and an overwhelming happiness to see Merlin’s sheepish grin on the other side.
Almost as if it were second nature Arthur held is arms open wide, allowing Merlin to bury into his embrace. Both men felt the tensions of the day lift off their shoulders. Arthur inhaled the very atmosphere of Merlin, wanting to melt into his arms. Merlin felt nothing short of safe and content, as if he was made to hug and be hugged by Arthur.
The prince eventually broke the embrace, moving his hands to gently cup either side of Merlin’s head. In a gentle movement he tipped Merlin’s head down in order to plant a soft kiss into his raven hair.
Merlin smiled soppily at him as a faint pink blush spread across his face. Arthur was almost certain he sported a matching one.
“I missed you today.” Merlin said simply.
“Not my fault my manservant never actually shows up for his job.” Athur joked fondly.
Merlin rolled his eyes, “You know why I wasn’t there.”
“Oh, do I now?” Arthur teased.
Merlin huffed out sharply, determined not to entertain the sarcasm. Arthur wondered if Merlin knew how adorable he looked when he pouted.
“It’s a bit dark in here.” Merlin shifted the conversation.
“Then light it up.” Arthur said, unable to contain the smile breaking across his face.
“Well, I have no clue how on earth I’d do that!” Merlin exclaimed, mimicking Arthur’s earlier tone of sarcasm.
It was now Arthur’s turn to roll his eyes, “Yes you do.”
“Say it.”
“Merlin,” Arthur met his eyes, “will you use your magic?”
The young warlock broke out into a wide grin. Stepping back from Arthur slightly, he muttered a spell into his hands. A ball of golden light emerged, moulding itself into the shape of a dragon. Its glow illuminated the two men from above as Merlin allowed it to soar dramatically about the room, putting on a performance for Camelot’s prince. The dragon stopped in the middle of the room above the two of them, posing itself in the shape of the Pendragon crest before exploding gently into a million tiny stars of light, which spread across the room, creating a galaxy within the small closet.
Arthur couldn’t contain the look of wonder and excitement on his face as he watched. While Arthur watched the dragon Merlin watched him. He loved seeing the prince so captivated by the beauty of magic… captivated by his magic.
When Arthur’s eyes met Merlin’s again, they displayed a look of pure awe and admiration. Merlin felt warmth flood through him as the two of them stood in the midst of the hidden secret between them.
Ever since he’d revealed it, Arthur had always thought Merlin’s magic was beautiful… and how could something so beautiful be evil? Merlin had told him that he was born with magic: magic he only used for Arthur. Despite how he’d been raised, Arthur had been unable to summon up the anger he knew he should’ve been feeling. Merlin had no choice but to hide his magic, yet he had revealed it to Arthur. Arthur couldn’t help but love Merlin’s magic, after all he loved every part of Merlin.
Now illuminated by the light of the stars, Merlin and Arthur sat on the floor of the closet, leaning against each other and talking about their days. As they talked their hands joined between them, fingers intertwining naturally.
Arthur told Merlin about the knight’s training and how several of the new recruits had tripped over each other when wielding a heavy sword for the first time. Arthur enjoyed how his stories were able to make Merlin laugh; he loved drinking in the addictive sound of Merlin’s giggles.
Merlin filled Arthur in on all the gossip from the kitchens, embellishing his dramatic retellings through overexaggerated hand gestures. Arthur loved watching how expressive Merlin was and gasped and laughed at all the soap opera worthy drama.
Just as Merlin finished his recount of the kitchen maid’s eventful night at the tavern, Arthur gave his hand a gentle squeeze while staring up at the warlock as if he had hung the stars… which in a way, he had.
Merlin’s expression calmed as he turned his focus away from his tale and to Arthur. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, asking an unspoken question with his eyes, as he so often did. Merlin had to admit he loved being able to have these silent conversations.
“I wish we could do this all the time.” Arthur said softly, a tiny glint of sadness evident in his tone.
Merlin knew what Arthur meant, but avoided the true meaning, choosing instead to joke,
“What? Hang out in broom cupboards?”
Arthur rolled his eyes fondly, again squeezing Merlin’s hand. However, his face still displayed a regretful expression.
“No.” Athur continued, “I wish we could be together like this all the time.”
Merlin’s face fell into a sad smile. He moved his free hand to cup Arthur’s chin, hoping the touch would bring some comfort to the prince.
“Arthur, we are granted the time together in public as prince and manservant and while it’s not ideal, it’s more than most like us are able to get. And I’m glad of just being able to stand by your side.”
“I know…” Arthur murmured softly, “I just- I just wish that I was able to fall asleep next to you, for you to be the last face I see at night, but beside me instead of at the foot of my bed. I wish you could be the first face I saw in the morning, not with breakfast but in my arms. I wish we were able to go on walks together without having to worry about acting too closely. I wish you could share a meal with me properly instead of stealing the scraps off my plate. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to hate you and insult you in front of my father and the court just to keep up appearances.”
Arthur’s eyes began to brim with tears. Merlin, also slightly teary now, let go of their hands in order to hold Arthur closely to his chest. The prince allowed himself to nestle further into the hold as Merlin began to comfortingly run fingers through Arthur’s golden hair.
For once Merlin didn’t have a comeback. It hurt that he was never able to reach for Arthur’s hand in public, or plant kisses upon his cheeks, or even so much as hold him tightly in an embrace after a battle. Just as Merlin began to get caught up in thoughts of all the lost moments of affection, Arthur quietly continued, interrupting his thoughts:
“When I am king,” Arthur began softly, “we won’t have to hide. We’ll walk around the castle hand in hand, and it won’t matter who will see. You’ll accompany me to all the feasts as a guest, not a worker. I’ll be able to brag to everyone about how pretty you are.”
Merlin snorted slightly at the blatant compliment, caught off guard.
Arthur continued, “I’ll lift the ban on magic. You can be court sorcerer. We can stand in front of the kingdom side by side, not as prince and manservant, but as equals... partners.”
Arthur lifted his head from Merlin’s chest to stare into his eyes. His face now displayed determination and a hope for the future. It made Merlin’s chest swell with pride at the thought of the kingdom Arthur, the man he loved, the Once and Future King, would be able to build.
“I’d like that.” Merlin said simply. There were a million words went unsaid, but it didn’t really matter. They always understood each other even when things went unspoken.
Arthur sat up from Merlin’s arms so the two of them were properly face to face once more. Anticipating what was coming, Merlin draped both his arms around Arthur’s shoulders as Arthur moved his hands to cup Merlin’s cheeks.
They each leaned in and shared a gentle kiss. It was full of unspoken trust, hope for the future and tinted with the secrets that needed to stay hidden… for now.
‘One day’ Merlin thought, ‘we won’t have to hide anymore.’
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A ray of sunlight shone through Arthur’s window, drawing a thin line of light through the muted colours of morning. The castle was just beginning to wake up; hushed tones of servants could be heard passing in the corridors. Arthur lay awake in his bed. As of last night, he had become king of Camelot, and the burdens had already begun to weigh heavily on his shoulders.
He thought back to his father, looking weak and almost pathetic in his last few hours of life. Arthur guiltily thought his father had finally reflected the hateful and bitter man he was on the inside.
Arthur didn’t know if he felt ready to be king. He still felt so young and inexperienced. The anxieties and pressures had already begun to swarm around his head, already taking over his thoughts.
Just then there was a shift of the duvet beside him. Arthur looked over to see Merlin, now slowly waking up and nuzzling in closer beside him.
Arthur, now pulled from his spiralling thoughts, moved his arms to wrap around the warlock. Merlin murmured something indistinguishable but seemed pleased at the change in his half-awake state.
Snuggled further under the covers and holding the man he loved in his arms, Arthur began to believe that this may just be the start of an enthralling new chapter. He thought back to his speech in the closet all those years ago and began to hope that he could live up to his promises.