Chapter Text
Diesel woke up as he always did. In his shed. At the dieselworks. Filled with an intense desire to be a jerk. No different compared to every other day that devious diesel woke up. He moved from his shed with a grin on his face, ready to do his work and have a little fun at the same time.
Today was something of a special date. A very special date indeed. Today was the 60th anniversary of the North Western Railway being opened. It was a very big deal, to say the least. All of Sodor would be celebrating this glorious date. Diesel would be celebrating it by doing what he usually did - causing trouble. Frankly, he didn't care all that much about this anniversary. Just a whole bunch of-
'Good morning, Diesel!'
He jumped. That loud, cheery voice came from Paxton, who apparently was already up and running. That friendly diesel wore a big, dumb smile on his face. Diesel could only roll his eyes and groan. He did have a soft spot for Paxton, but he'd sooner throw himself into the smelters than admit it, and Paxton got on his nerves quick.
'Do you know what day it is?' Paxton asked, excitedly.
'Oh, I know,' Diesel said, sounding incredibly disinterested. 'Is today the day that the Fat Controller finally realises the railway would be much better off with diesels running the line?'
'Uh… no. It's the 60th anniversary of the North Western Railway!'
Diesel groaned again. He couldn't understand why any diesel would be so concerned with such an event. Why would any diesel want to celebrate some anniversary all about those steamies? A much better celebration would be the anniversary of when the first diesel engine - that being Diesel himself, of course - arrived on the island. October 29th. He had that date committed to memory and always would. But did they celebrate that? Of course not. He even broke a record for trucks shunted once, and hardly anyone paid him any attention!
'Oh goodie,' Diesel muttered, with all the sarcasm in the world.
'I know!' Paxton said, apparently unaware of said sarcasm. 'I'm so excited! Can you believe that the North Western Railway is already 60 years old? I think that's even older than the Fat Controller! I think.'
Diesel groaned. He did not want to be around here when he had mischief- I mean, work he had to do. So, he left mid-conversation without so much as a goodbye. Unless you count intentionally letting off a cloud of awful smoke right in Paxton's face to be a proper goodbye. Poor Paxton was left a coughing, spluttering mess, and all Diesel could do was laugh about it.
He only stopped laughing when he had to wait for Den to push a flatbed of spare parts out of his way. Dart was right behind him with his own flatbed of parts.
'Oh, hey, Diesel!' Den said as he chugged on by. 'We're going to the big celebration today! So, uh, are you, you know, maybe…'
'What he means is,' Dart piped up. 'We hope to see you there!'
Diesel groaned even louder. 'I'm not going to the big celebration! What do I care if some railway full of steamies turns 60? Besides, I'll be too busy working - doing my job - in Knapford yards to celebrate some silly railway.'
Den let out a nervous chuckle. 'Oh, uh, you see, about that Diesel, uh-'
Dart spoke up right away, 'The celebration is going to be at Knapford Station.'
And just like that, Diesel's average mood dropped right into 'bad'. He whined just thinking about it. So he'd have to deal with this stupid steamie celebration all day, while trying to do his shunting job?
He left the dieselworks with a huff (a regular ol' huff, not a huff like a steamie). For the sake of his sanity, he went slightly slower than usual. Just slow enough to spend less time at Knapford yard, but just fast enough that the Fat Controller wouldn't get mad at him for causing confusion and blah blah blah…
Diesel had only just arrived at Knapford, and he was already fed up beyond belief. There were steamies everywhere. Going back and forth through the station. Chuffing all about in the yard. Blowing their whistles all together to create a high-pitched cacophony. Why, oh why, was he assigned to work here for the day? He knew the reason why - the big celebration required a lot of help - but he chose to ignore that obvious reason just so he could be upset about it.
His job today was shunting empty trucks for some of the steamies.
'Ow!'
'Hey!'
'Watch it!'
As usual, the trucks weren't so happy with his shunting. They acted as if he was biffing them by accident, out of sheer incompetence or something! Diesel chuckled to himself. Angry trucks didn't mind paying out the wrong engine! Whichever steamie was stuck with these trucks was in for a bad time.
'OUT OF MY WAY!' Gordon bellowed, loudly enough for all of Knapford to hear. 'EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!'
'Give me a moment, Gordon!' James snapped back. 'I have plenty of important jobs to do too!'
Diesel tried to ignore them all as he did his job, but ignoring loud steamies was a tough job indeed. But do you wanna know what was even harder to ignore?
BONK!
'OH!'
Rosie and Stanley were shunting in the yards too. Doing a subpar job compared to our revolutionary diesel, of course. So subpar, in fact, that Rosie accidentally bumped her line of coaches into the back of Stanley.
'Sorry, Stanley!' She said.
Luckily for her, Stanley just laughed. 'It's alright, Rosie!'
'It must be the nerves. I'm so excited for the big party tonight that I can barely concentrate!'
'I know what you mean. I almost ran a signal today on my way here from Waterton!'
They shared an annoying laugh that made Diesel want to make like Duck and plough himself through a barbershop. Or maybe pull a 'Henry' and lock himself up inside a tunnel. Being trapped inside one did sound like a less terrible fate than this.
Diesel shunted and shunted for hours. It was probably only one or two, but it felt like it was taking all day. Shunting may have been a very important job, but it was far from exciting.
'Don't forget to attach the brake van!' Rosie said, as if he needed to be told that.
He muttered some unsavoury words to himself that cannot possibly be repeated, and pushed some trucks along. They were to be filled up with coal from the hopper, and added to the end of an already long train. After all, the steamies were going to be very busy that day. And busy steamies needed coal. Diesel thought it was ridiculous. Why did he have to shunt trucks for coal when he didn't even need that old dusty stuff? The trucks laughed to themselves as he pushed them to the hopper, but he was too busy grumbling to notice.
What he certainly wasn't too busy to notice, however, was the trucks forcing him along a little too much. He quickly realised, to his horror, that he was the one underneath the hopper instead.
'Wait!' He cried. 'Don't-!'
Too late. The coal was already tumbling out. A whole heap of black dusty lumps fell from the hopper and bonked against his metal body.
'Ow! Hey- OW!'
Fortunately, it didn't take long before the mistake was noticed and the coal hopper was stopped. A little too late, though. Diesel was already covered wheel to top with coal dust. He let out a dry cough and scowled. Those stupid trucks were laughing at him!
'Oh, be quiet!' He snapped.
It just made the trucks laugh louder. And that made Diesel scowl more. This was certainly not the way a revolutionary diesel ought to be treated! This day wasn't even half over yet, and he already wanted it to be done. He was this close to giving up and going back home to the dieselworks. Unfortunately for him, he cared far more about the Fat Controller's opinion than most would expect. So, he continued to shunt those trucks under the coal hopper. Eventually, he had those troublesome trucks all lined up in a row. All full of coal to be taken elsewhere.
A random Steamie - Hiro, was it? - arrived soon after to pick up the load. Diesel had long since left the vicinity, not caring one bit about the job now that it was done. It wasn't as if Steamies showed any appreciation for all his hard work and effort anyway.
And so it continued. All day, it seemed. Going back and forth across the yard, surrounded by so many steamie tank engines without another diesel in sight. Awful, awful, awful. All the while, the sounds of steamie whistles filled the air. The only bit of fun he had the whole time was when Henry pulled into the yard to get a line of empty flatbeds. Something about an important delivery at Brendam Docks? Diesel didn't know or cared. All he cared about was a good opportunity for a good joke.
He snickered to himself as he approached that big green engine from behind on a different track, crept along, and…
HOOOOOOOOOONK!
'AAAHHHH!'
-beeped his horn as loudly as he could! Henry let out a scream that was almost as loud. The skittish 'little' engine was so spooked by the sudden loud noise that he instinctively shot backwards, directly into the line of flatbeds before anyone had the chance to couple him up to it. And Diesel laughed and laughed until he began to cough out smoke.
It didn't take long for Henry to calm down. And he wasn't very happy.
'Diesel!' He said. 'Don't do that!'
'Why not?' Diesel asked with an obnoxious grin on his face. 'It's funny!'
'It may be funny to you, but it certainly isn't to me!'
'Oh, stop being such a scaredy-engine, Henry!'
Diesel drove off, laughing to himself some more. Now that he had played a fun little trick on that jumpy engine, his mood had improved significantly. That's just what he needed to brighten up this gloomy day. A little bit of fun! For the rest of the day, he entertained himself by doing his usual tricks.
He pushed a line of trucks directly into Charlie hard enough to make her jolt.
He made some rather disparaging remarks about James's big dumb face directly to said face.
He bumped right into Percy, just because he could.
The crummy day was quickly turning around for him! He had to thank Henry for giving him such a wonderful idea. Not that he would.
As the sun crossed the sky, more and more engines showed up around Knapford. They had all finished their jobs and were heading back for the big celebration. Not all of them arrived, of course, but many of them did. Even Harold was soaring above them all. Diesel tried to ignore them and continue his work, but soon his work was finished. The sun was setting, and the big celebration would start soon.
He was particularly disgusted when he saw some fellow diesels being a part of the crowd. Some, like Mavis and Salty, he unfortunately expected to see there. Those diesels were always so buddy-buddy with those coal-powered morons. But Daisy? Or Den and Dart? Traitors, the whole lot of them. The only reason he was there was because he couldn't leave without abandoning his very important job. What was their excuse?
Soon, the yards were full of so many engines that there was no point in even trying to continue his job. The sun had set almost completely. The celebration would be happening soon. Diesel just hoped that it would be over sooner rather than later.
'Hey, Rosie,' Stanley said. 'I know that expecting everyone to be here is a lot to ask for, but I'm noticing that we're missing two who should definitely be here.'
'Yeah, I noticed it too,' Rosie said. 'I wonder where they are? You'd think they wouldn't miss something like this for the world.'
The other engines chattered among themselves about things that Diesel honestly did not care about at all. His mind wandered elsewhere. To the inevitable diesel revolution. To the Fat Controller finally realising how much better he was than a steamie. To the adorable family of ducks by the pon- I mean, to the cathartic image of those steamies rusting away in a yard. Forever obsolete.
The Fat Controller's voice boomed from the PA system. Crowds of humans gathered on the station to listen in.
'Uh, it seems that we're missing a couple engines, but that's alright! This wonderful day won't come again, so let's not waste it by worrying! Perhaps it's a shame, but the show must go on. Now, on this day, 60 years ago, my grandfather opened the North Western Railway…'
The speech had been so boring that Diesel zoned out almost immediately. Next thing he knew, he was already returning home to go to sleep at the dieselworks. And thank Awdry for that. It couldn't have come soon enough. While he was able to have a little fun, he was so grateful that this silly little anniversary was behind him.
…⏳…
Diesel woke up the next day still feeling the fatigue from that blasted anniversary celebration. Was this what the drivers were talking about when they mentioned 'hangovers'? Oh well, at least it was just a regular day again. Another good ol' day of being Really Useful and Really Devious!
He chugged out of his shed, looking around. Now what kind of tricks could he get up to this time?
'Good morning, Diesel!'
Paxton's voice came about so suddenly that it made Diesel jump. You didn't hear that from me. He muttered some unsavoury words under his breath. The last thing he wanted today was more of this.
'Do you know what day it is?' Paxton asked, excitedly.
That question left Diesel even more surprised. Did he hear that right? Or did he just get hit with an awful case of deja vu?
'What?' He said without thinking.
'I said, do you know what day it is?' Paxton repeated helpfully.
Diesel racked his mind to figure out the answer. Paxton wouldn't be asking this unless it was an important date. But what followed the 60th anniversary? The 60th-year-and-one-day anniversary? The thought of celebrating this cursed date the whole year was terrifying. Was there some other date he was supposed to know? Paxton must've realised that he was struggling, so he answered it for him.
'It's the 60th anniversary of the North Western Railway! Can you believe that the North Western Railway is already 60 years old? I think that's even older than the Fat Controller! I think.'
Diesel blinked at him. 'Uh, Paxton, that was yesterday.'
And now Paxton blinked at him. '… No it wasn't.'
'Yes it was! You were there!'
'… No I wasn't.'
Diesel's jaw fell open. He felt like he was talking to Sydney.
'I saw you,' He said. 'At Knapford Station, celebrating that stupid anniversary with all those stupid steamies! You must be hanging around Sydney too much. You're becoming as forgetful as him!'
Paxton laughed. 'I would remember if I went to a big anniversary celebration like that! Sounds like a lotta fun. I can't wait for it!'
Diesel quickly realised that he wasn't getting anywhere by talking to Paxton, so he kept going. Seeing as he hadn't been given any new orders today, he figured that he was to go to Knapford yards again. His plan was interrupted when Den and Dart came along pushing some flatbeds again. Flatbeds loaded with the same load they had yesterday. Interesting coincidence, that.
'Oh, hey, Diesel!' Den said, chugging by. 'We're going to the big celebration today! So, uh, are you, you know, maybe…'
'What he means is,' Dart piped up. 'We hope to see you there!'
The feeling of deja vu hit Diesel like Gordon hitting a station wall. It was one thing when it had been Paxton insisting that the celebration was happening again, since he was never the brightest bulb in the box. But Den and Dart too? Diesel could've sworn they were smarter than that.
'You two?!' He cried. 'Paxton said the same thing. Don't you remember? That was just yesterday!'
Den and Dart glanced at each other.
'But that, uh…' Den said. 'That, t-that…'
'That doesn't make any sense,' Dart said. 'The 60th anniversary is today. Not yesterday.'
Diesel let out a loud groan of frustration. 'Okay, fine, whatever! The celebration is today. If you don't mind, I'll be ignoring the 'celebration' and working at my job at Knapford!'
Den let out a nervous chuckle. 'Oh, uh, you see, about that Diesel, uh-'
Dart spoke up right away, 'The celebration is going to be at Knapford Station.'
'I KNOW THAT!'
Diesel assumed, perhaps foolishly, that the nonsense about the 'celebration' would die down once he got to Knapford. But nope. He could overhear the steamies chatting about the upcoming 'celebration', all saying the exact same things they had the same before! At the same time, and in the same way too. Was he losing his mind?
Once again, he was shunting trucks with Stanley and Rosie. Those two were usually needed elsewhere. What were they doing all the way at Knapford again?
'Ow!'
'Hey!'
'Watch it!'
Well, the trucks complaining wasn't anything out of ordinary. It'd be a lot stranger if they weren't complaining.
'OUT OF MY WAY! EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!'
'Give me a moment, Gordon! I have plenty of important jobs to do too!'
Diesel came to an abrupt stop. That exact exchange had happened the exact same way it had happened before. Gordon screaming about the express wasn't uncommon at all. It was too common, actually. James's responding exactly like that, however, was a lot rarer.
BONK!
'OH!'
'Sorry, Stanley!'
'It's alright, Rosie!'
Diesel stared at Rosie and Stanley with his mouth wide open. They had the exact same accident they had yesterday!
'It must be the nerves. I'm so excited for the big party tonight that I can barely concentrate!'
'I know what you mean. I almost ran a signal today on my way here from Waterton!'
Okay, now this was really getting strange. One thing would've just been a coincidence, but this whole day was playing out identically to the last day! Which meant…
'Ow! Hey- OW!'
Had he been thinking straight instead of getting distracted by all the weird repeating things, he would've avoided falling for that trick a second time around. But there he was, underneath the coal hopper. He didn't even bother telling the troublesome trucks that it wasn't any funnier the second time around. They'd probably just call him crazy for thinking they had done the same thing yesterday. And maybe they'd be right. He lined up those coal trucks to the back of the train to be picked up… by Hiro. Again.
In no time at all, Henry had returned to the yards in the exact same place he had been before. About to be coupled up to some flatbeds. Well, if the opportunity was going to come back again…
HOOOOOOOOOONK!
'AAAHHHH!'
Diesel laughed out loud once again. It must've been even funnier the second time!
'Diesel! Don't do that!'
And so, he went back to his definition of 'fun'. But he changed things up a little. This time, he gave Thomas - Mr Number One Engine himself - a good bump from behind right when he least expected it!
'Ow!' He said. 'Diesel!'
He didn't have the time for any further complaints, because Diesel was already chugging away to a new victim. All these steamies gathering in one place gave him plenty of engines to harass! The fun helped pass the time, and before he knew it, it was sunset again. All those engines were gathered in the same place they had been in the day before.
'Hey, Rosie, I know that expecting everyone to be here is a lot to ask for, but I'm noticing that we're missing two who should definitely be here.'
'Yeah, I noticed it too. I wonder where they are? You'd think they wouldn't miss something like this for the world.'
'Uh, it seems that we're missing a couple engines, but that's alright! This wonderful day won't come again, so let's not waste it by worrying! Perhaps it's a shame, but the show must go on. Now, on this day, 60 years ago, my grandfather opened the North Western Railway…'
…⏳…
One repeat is a coincidence.
'Good morning, Diesel! Do you know what day it is?'
But two? In a row? Now that became suspicious.
'Oh, hey, Diesel! We're going to the big celebration today! So, uh, are you, you know, maybe…'
'What he means is, we hope to see you there!'
This was supposed to be two days after the big celebration. Things really should have gone back to normal by now.
'OUT OF MY WAY! EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!'
'Give me a moment, Gordon! I have plenty of important jobs to do too!'
But no. Everything played out the exact same way again for the third time. It was the 60th anniversary again. Three times in a row. A date like that was only supposed to come once. Because after that, it wasn't the right date anymore. And next time the date rolled around, it would be the 61th anniversary instead.
'It must be the nerves. I'm so excited for the big party tonight that I can barely concentrate!'
'I know what you mean. I almost ran a signal today on my way here from Waterton!'
He played around with the nasty tricks he got up to today. For instance, he was much more careful around those troublesome trucks this time. It, uh, didn't quite work out.
'OW! Oh, for the love of- OW!'
He bumped into Edward this time, hard enough to make him bash his tender into some buffers. And hearing the normally patient and calm steamie get frustrated with him was too good!
'Oh, Diesel!'
And he gave both Rosie and Stanley some good biffs for good measure, just because they were there. Besides, he had to hear them crash into each other three times now. Hey, if he was going to be reliving the same day for a third time, he might as well
But, he still gave Henry the fright of his life. Seeing that 'big strong' tender engine panic so much never got old! Diesel couldn't believe that an engine so flighty was still working on the railway. This was the same engine who freaked out over chicken pox, after all.
'Hey, Rosie, I know that expecting everyone to be here is a lot to ask for, but I'm noticing that we're missing two who should definitely be here.'
'Yeah, I noticed it too. I wonder where they are? You'd think they wouldn't miss something like this for the world.'
'Uh, it seems that we're missing a couple engines, but that's alright! This wonderful day won't come again, so let's not waste it by worrying! Perhaps it's a shame, but the show must go on. Now, on this day, 60 years ago, my grandfather opened the North Western Railway…'
Listening to this speech properly for the first time made Diesel a little sad, really. Sad that his fun would almost be over, of course. He hadn't realised until now that this big celebration had gifted him the perfect opportunity to mess with so many steamies all in the same place! Oh well, at least everything would be back to normal the next day.
…⏳…
'Good morning, Diesel!'
Except the next day didn't come.
'Oh, hey, Diesel! We're going to the big celebration today! So, uh, are you, you know, maybe…'
'What he means is, we hope to see you there!'
It was the exact same day.
'OUT OF MY WAY! EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!'
'Give me a moment, Gordon! I have plenty of important jobs to do too!'
Nothing had changed.
'It must be the nerves. I'm so excited for the big party tonight that I can barely concentrate!'
'I know what you mean. I almost ran a signal today on my way here from Waterton!'
Absolutely nothing. It was the same anniversary. Everyone said and did the exact same things they had the last three 'days'. In the exact same way. Every time.
'Hey, Rosie, I know that expecting everyone to be here is a lot to ask for, but I'm noticing that we're missing two who should definitely be here.'
'Yeah, I noticed it too. I wonder where they are? You'd think they wouldn't miss something like this for the world.'
Nothing had changed. Nothing.
'Uh, it seems that we're missing a couple engines, but that's alright! This wonderful day won't come again, so let's not waste it by worrying…!'
One repeat was a coincidence. Two repeats was suspicious. But this was now his fourth run through of this stupid day. Of this stupid anniversary. AND NOTHING HAD CHANGED! Even when he tried to stop himself from going under the coal hopper, those trucks found a way to make him get covered in coal dust once again.
…⏳…
'Good morning, Diesel!'
Five times in a row, however, established a routine.
Five times told him that this wasn't just a coincidence.
Five times told him that this was the new routine.
It was the 60th anniversary, again. And again. And again.
Everything repeated like a song on loop. The exchanges with his fellow diesels. Gordon and James shouting at each other. Rosie and Stanley's small collision. The trucks and the coal hopper. Hiro picking up his load. Henry waiting for his flatbeds. All those engines (including some traitorous diesels) gathering around the station. Rosie and Stanley remarking about some missing engines. The Fat Controller's speech, which Diesel was already starting to memorise word-for-word.
Once was just a regular day.
Twice could just be a coincidence.
Three became suspicious.
Four made him question what the heck was going on.
Five confirmed his biggest worries.
Until further notice, there would be no point in waiting for 'the next day' so this stupid anniversary celebration could end.
Because there wouldn't even be a 'next day'.
'Uh, it seems that we're missing a couple engines, but that's alright! This wonderful day won't come again, so let's not waste it by worrying…!'