Chapter Text
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The subway is always packed full in the mornings, currently Isagi is squished between a young pregnant woman and a depressed, burnt-out-looking salaryman.
Baby formula, diapers, uh what else do I need again?..
Shit, I’m so going to be late today!
Ugh, it stinks in here..
What’s that creep staring at!
This shirt is getting tight, man I really need to start hitting the gym…
OW fuck! Someone just stepped on my foot!
I’m so broke…
Along with all the other passengers cramped around him, Isagi can unfortunately hear their thoughts. Or at least only the ones he’s smushed against. Thankfully, if Isagi could read people’s minds 24/7, he might actually lose it. Anyway, his whatever you wanna call it- magical ability, super-power has turned his whole world upside down. He’s not even sure what triggered it.
Isagi was completely normal his whole mundane, boring life up till now. He’s been average in everything his whole plain existence! His grades, looks, fashion, EVERYTHING! He hasn’t got some crazy hobbies or talents, he was never popular in school or bullied growing up, even his football skills were average when he played in college, honestly he just blends into the background. That’s how he’s always been. An NPC. A background character. The supporting role. If he were in a movie, he’d be an extra. He’s not the main character in some book or TV series. So why the hell is this happening to him??? Yoichi didn’t even believe in magic or anything until he started hearing everyone’s inner voices yapping whenever he touched them.
He’s tried searching for how to get rid of it. But all the googling and researching he did obviously led to nothing. Because mind-reading is supposed to be fictional. It’s not particularly a common problem that can be solved with a simple Google search. And it’s not like Isagi can just call up his friends and ask for advice“Hey guys..so you don’t happen to know anything about mind reading? No specific reasons..”
Nobody would believe him! They’d all think he’s insane and send him to some mental hospital…or worse, give him over to the government so they can experiment on him! Ok…maybe that was a little ridiculous, but if someone found out and actually believed him they’d probably be freaked out and think he’s a creep for snooping around in people’s heads. Which he wouldn’t blame them for thinking, because it is creepy!
So for the past week, isagi’s done the only logical thing he could think of, despite this whole situation being completely illogical and impossible. He’s had no choice but to suck it up and deal with it. Yoichi tries his best to ignore the random thoughts that flood his mind daily. Rarely touches people and tries to avoid physical contact as much as he possibly can without seeming rude or weird. It’s been working well so far, after all it’s not like he’s got a girlfriend or something.
Isagi has been embarrassedly a single virgin his whole thirty years of life. It’s not like he didn’t try to get a girlfriend before..but Isagi’s never been one to attract people. He never received any chocolates on Valentines, and has been rejected the few times he had tried asking girls out for his “lack of experience”. He’s completely given up on romance by now. Romance had never been his top priority anyway. Which it’s probably why he ended up this way. But Isagi has bigger problems to think about now than worrying if he’ll ever get laid.
Some people would consider his power a gift. But it seems more like a curse to Isagi. After all ignorance is bliss and it sucks being forced to hear what people are really thinking. The truth is harsh sometimes, and he’d rather not be listening in on other’s business at seven in the morning on a cramped, questionably smelling subway. He just hopes his new “gift” is temporary.
After an agonizingly long ride of being forced to listen in on people’s thoughts (He’s really considering getting a car at this point), Isagi survived and finally made it to his office building in one piece. He makes his way inside the lobby and immediately heads for the elevators. The lobby smells like disinfectant mixed with a combination of burnt coffee, and Yukimiya’s obnoxiously strong cologne that lingers in every room for at-least ten minutes after he’s left. He must be nearby…Isagi joins the group of several employees waiting for the elevator.
Everything’s fine and dandy as he waits, but it’s not long in-till the universe once again decides to torture Yoichi. Because god forbid he have a few blissful seconds of peace and quiet to himself for ONCE. Isagi senses something’s wrong before it even hits him—literally hits him, one second he’s waiting quietly like any other burnt out office drone would…and the next he’s SHOVED and nearly trampled over by a stampede of blushing women. “What was that abo—“ Isagi whips his head back naturally because what could be so important that almost every woman in the lobby is running over to go see!
“…”
“Ah, of fucking course..” Isagi’s eyes fall upon a familiar scene. Michael Kaiser, the new Lead project manager in his department, or as Isagi likes to describe him—the bane of his miserable existence, is currently surrounded by a group of drooling women greeting him good morning.
Kaiser recently transferred around three weeks ago. Since his first day he’s drawn a lot of attention. Which is unsurprising since he looks straight out of a magazine cover. With his infuriatingly perfect face—all sharp features, cool piercing eyes lined with red, that send shivers down Isagi’s spine the few times Kaiser humiliatingly caught him staring. He has that perfect unbothered demeanor. It seems like everything he does is deliberate. Nothing is an accident or mistake when it comes to Kaiser.
It’s not only that Kaiser’s objectively attractive—He stands out against everyone else; demands everyone’s attention without even having to lift a finger. His uniquely blonde, blue-tipped dyed hair and tattoos would typically be an eyesore on anyone else. But it makes him look even more untouchable. He’s the complete opposite of Yoichi. Michael Kaiser is seen, admired, and respected. People fall over themselves for him. Isagi Yoichi is just..there. He’s just a basic, typical project assistant. Plain-faced and forgotten. People shove Isagi out of the way just to get a glimpse of Kaiser.
Kaiser shines,
While Isagi blends in.
Isagi’s jaw clenches, his teeth grinding together with frustration. Kaiser has infuriated Isagi since his first appearance.
Now Isagi has lived in Germany for almost a decade; he’s well aware of the cultural differences between Japan and Germany, but he still prefers to go by his surname out of respect and habit. Most people he works with understand and respect his preference, like normal mature adults do. Kaiser, on the other hand is a fucking bastard. As soon as they met, he’s been nothing but disrespectful to Isagi, only referring to him as Yoichi. Despite his constant reminding, Kaiser simply doesn’t care.
“This isn’t Japan Yoichi. Why should I care about Japanese honorifics?”
Isagi gave up on being civil with Kaiser after his first week dealing with his bullshit. Not only was Kaiser nothing but disrespectful to him, but he’s also a huge thorn in Isagi’s side.
Ever since Kaiser became Isagi’s new “boss,” he’s had to work ten times harder than he ever has in his life. Kaiser works him to death everyday, he never lets mistakes slide, especially not Isagi’s. Kaiser is constantly revising and nitpicking his work. Yoichi has gotten used to triple-checking every report and PowerPoint he finishes, making sure it’s without any mistakes, perfect. Only to have it sent back every goddamn time with several little corrections from Kaiser; wording adjusted, numbers rearranged, formatting tweaked, small “fixes” that would drive him crazy.
Almost every night, Yoichi has to stay overtime just to rewrite or “fix” whatever didn’t meet Kaiser standards (His sleep schedule is hell now). Anytime Isagi would work his ass off and foolishly think he’d met Kaiser’s impossible expectations, Kaiser would just raise the bar even higher. Nothing Isagi did ever seemed right anymore. Always something to fix, to improve, his work is never perfect; it’s always inefficient.
The worst part is it’s only ever Isagi. He’s never seen Kaiser act this way towards anyone else in the office. It’s like he’s got some personal vendetta against Isagi. Which is just great for him! More problems to add to his ever-growing list.
-Secret mind reader, check!
-Thirty-year-old virgin, check!
-New boss hell bent on ruining his life, check!
Isagi observes as Kaiser laughs easily, one arm braced against the wall as co-workers crowd around him. He looked comfortable. Like this was a daily occurrence for him (which it infuriatingly was). Kaiser looked like someone who was used to being stared at, admired without bothering to look back.
He doesn’t understand why everyone worships Kaiser. Ok, sure, he’s somewhat sexy, although Isagi would NEVER admit that out loud; anyone with eyes can tell he’s attractive. He’s also unfortunately amazing at his job. Isagi works his ass off every day just to be “good enough”. Kaiser is just good.
God definitely has favorites, and Kaiser is one of them.
But other than his looks and performance at work, he’s a complete arrogant bastard! Behind that calm, confident demeanor, Isagi is 99% he’s just a self-absorbed prick, with a humongous ego! But that sneaky bastard only ever lets it slip out around Isagi.
…wait a minute, that reminds Isagi he’s literally never read Kaiser’s mind. He’s accidentally heard some of his other co-workers’ thoughts before already (which definitely changed how he views some of them now…he’s traumatized from Hiori). This was inevitable given the nature of his power, but he has yet to hear Kaiser’s inner monologue. What kind of thoughts would the untouchable, “perfect”, Michael Kaiser have?? Actually, Isagi doesn’t even need to hear his thoughts to know what they’d sound like. They’d probably be something like..
Ah, another exhausting day of being perfect and having everyone fawning over me! What would these incompetent peasants do without their emperor? They should be grateful I’m gracing them with my presence (insert evil Kaiser laughter).
Isagi grimaces. Yeah. Hard pass. On second thought, I’m glad not to have heard them. Who cares what Kaiser thinks anyway?? Definitely not me, haha, I’m so not curious at all..
Ring!
The soft chime of the elevator arriving, thankfully snaps Isagi out of his thoughts. The crowd automatically starts moving, stepping inside one by one. Isagi soon follows suit, entering the elevator. Kaiser steps in last, choosing to stand uncomfortably close to Isagi—of course he does, Isagi mentally rolls his eyes.
It’s a tight fit, pretty crowded today, he notes. The elevator doors slid closed, soft music played low as they ascended.
Isagi glanced over at Kaiser, an idea popping into his head. This would be the perfect opportunity to take a peek into Kaiser’s mind! He’s standing close enough for Isagi to sneakily touch him without Kaiser noticing—Wait no, he shouldn’t; it would be wrong to purposely use his power to spy on Kaiser—even if it’s Kaiser.
But he’d never know…and if anyone deserved to be spied on, it’s Kaiser for making Isagi’s life harder, and fucking up his sleep schedule! Isagi’s hand twitched at his side, the curiosity is killing him!
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Screw it, now or never, just go for it! Isagi raised his hand and lightly touched Kaiser’s back careful to not alert him. The rich fabric of Kaiser’s charcoal-gray suit is soft, and warm against Isagi’s fingers. It’s silent for a moment, the only sound the music of the elevator, and the quiet chatter of his co-workers. But it’s not long before Kaiser’s inner monologue is ringing through Isagi’s ears.
God—that expression again.
Yoichi’s eyes widened. Is he thinking about someone?
Half-awake. Like he didn’t sleep enough.
Kaiser’s worried about someone..but who? Isagi wonders, that’s not what he expected to hear at all. Now he’s even more curious..Just a few more seconds and he’ll stop.
So damn adorable, I can barely keep myself contained around him. If those eyes meet mine again, I just might—
Isagi’s breath catches. He immediately snatched his hand away like it had been burned. Holy shit—Kaiser…the Michael Kaiser..who’s supposed to be untouchable, unreachable has..has
A CRUSH??
This…this was the last possible thing Isagi could’ve expected. Kaiser having a crush??? And with someone who works here. It seemed impossible to Isagi; he was sure Kaiser had to have a girlfriend, with those looks, he could bag any girl he wanted easily. What’s even more shocking is that it’s a man. Not that Isagi’s judging, but it’s a surprising development nonetheless. This wasn’t what Isagi intended or wanted to find though.
He was just hoping that maybe seeing into Kaiser’s thoughts would make him seem more…human. He wasn’t sure what he expected to hear, but it definitely wasn’t this. He feels so guilty now. It isn’t his place to know about this.
Unfortunately for Isagi, his sudden movement didn’t go unnoticed by Kaiser. Isagi’s spine stiffened as Kaiser turned to face him. He stared down at Isagi, because of course, Kaiser was unfairly tall, with a condescending smirk plastered on his face.
“Ah, Yoichi.” That voice—smooth, confident, and patronizing. “Good morning, I almost missed you down there.” Isagi’s eye twitched.
Never mind Isagi takes it back; he doesn’t feel guilty anymore, screw Kaiser. Isagi isn’t even short either, he’s actually quite tall back in Japan, it’s not his fault Europeans are huge.
It’s only seven in the morning, and he already wants to wring Kaiser’s throat. “Cut the crap, Kaiser. You saw me.” Isagi forces his voice steady.
Kaiser’s smirk widens, flashing his pearly teeth. “Did I?” He tilts his head, icy eyes flicking over Isagi in a way that makes his skin crawl. “You blend in remarkably well when you want to.”
Isagi’s blood is boiling with rage. He wants nothing more than to wipe that smirk off Kaiser’s face. Really give him a piece of his mind. But he won’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. That’s what he wants, and Isagi refuses to give in to him. “I’m literally standing right in front of you.” He deadpans.
Kaiser lets out a quiet huff of laughter. “Exactly.”
Isagi opens his mouth to respond, but before he even manages to get a word out, the elevator suddenly jolts; someone loses their balance bumping right into Isagi, sending him flying forward right into Kaiser. Isagi lets out an embarrassingly unmanly shriek and squeezes his eyes shut as he collides into Kaiser’s firm, warm chest.
A floral woody scent surrounds him. Roses Isagi’s nose confirms. He slowly lifts his head and meets Kaiser’s intense gaze. It’s almost like time stopped, as he drowned in those cerulean orbs. Isagi’s breath hitched as an onslaught of Kaiser’s thoughts filled his ears.
He fits so perfectly against me—Like it’s exactly where he belongs.
Isagi tensed up immediately.
And that girly little squeak was so pitifully delicious—it’s so unfair, you have no idea what you do to me.
Isagi is frozen in place. Heat crawls up his neck, and his face feels like it’s on fire. His hands curl up into fists, digging his nails into his palms. We’re so close..way too close. Fuck, stop thinking that…why’s Kaiser thinking that..there’s no way.
Oh mein Gott, that face he’s making—he’s so red.
This can’t be happening..there has to be a mistake. Isagi is mortified. There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t believe it.
He’s so flustered…I could just eat him up.
Isagi’s stomach drops as realization hits him.
Michael Kaiser. Has a crush. On him.
“Careful Yoichi, was that on purpose? Kaiser’s voice—his real voice hums, snapping Isagi out of his daze. “Or just awfully clumsy this morning?”
Isagi immediately removes himself from Kaiser, before he hears any more of those thoughts. His whole face burns and his hands are sweaty, Isagi feels like he’s gonna explode. While Kaiser looks like his normal smug self. How is he thinking all that with a straight face?!?
“No!” Isagi accidentally shouts out. He awkwardly clears his throat before mumbling. “It was obviously an accident.”
There’s tense, suffocating silence for a moment. Kaiser’s gaze lingers on him—way too long to be considered normal. Isagi stares right back. One, because his mom didn’t raise a little bitch (debatable sometimes), and two, because he’s not gonna give Kaiser the satisfaction of him looking away.
“You’re quite jumpy this morning,” Kaiser notes, like he’s assessing him. “Did you sleep at all?”
Why does Kaiser have to be so damn perceptive? Act normal Isagi. Pretend you don’t know anything. Kaiser definitely can’t find out that he knows; that’d add fuel to the fire. Just gaslight him or something! “I’m not jumpy, Kaiser, you’re imagining things.”
The elevator comes to a stop, doors sliding open. Isagi exhales. He’s saved!
Kaiser hums, unconvinced. “If you say so.” He gives one last long look at Isagi before turning and exiting like everyone else.
Isagi wastes no time and books it for the nearest bathroom instead of heading to his cubicle. He slams the door closed and walks straight to the sink, footsteps echoing throughout the room. The faucet squeaks as Isagi turns it to the coldest setting and splashes his face a few times. He looks back up at the disheveled, wet state of his poor face. Water drips from his chin onto his cornflower blue dress shirt. He’s such a mess.
He stares for a moment longer, letting everything set in. Isagi’s knuckles are white as he grips the edge of the sink. How could Michael Kaiser have feelings for a mess like Isagi? This has to be some long, elaborate nightmare. Isagi pinches his cheek.
Ouch!
Nope, definitely not a dream. What the fuck is his life?
If Michael Kaiser’s God’s favorite, Isagi Yoichi, is definitely his least favorite.