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This was normal. Pepero, all the members have done it with each other at some point. So Seungmin doing it with Changbin? Normal. They’ve done it numerous times before.
So why does it feel different this time? Couldn’t be because they actually touched lips this time, right?
Seungmin pulled back, laughing it off and wiping his lips. Changbin paused, only for a split second. The other members didn’t see it, Seungmin did, though. Of course he saw it.
The pause made him anxious, as if Changbin regretted doing the game with him. It was an accident. He screams it in his head, hoping Changbin could invade his mind just this once.
Everything went back to “normal” quickly, the members didn’t give them any mind, it likely didn’t seem out of the ordinary for the two.
But it was still weighing heavy in Seungmin’s mind, he doesn’t know why, it didn’t mean anything. That’s what Seungmin keeps telling himself, trying to convince himself of something he knows isn’t true.
—
After the video was wrapped up, Seungmin wanted to go back to his dorm, badly. If he stayed near Changbin for too long, he fears he may say or do something utterly idiotic.
He grabbed his bag and made his way towards Felix, hoping he was also ready to head back.
Seungmin could see half of Felix’s body, he was talking to someone unknown to Seungmin since a wall was blocking his line of sight.
He stopped in his tracks when he could see who he was directly talking to. Of course he’s talking to the one person he wants to avoid right now.
Does Seungmin have avoidment issues? He dwells on this thought for a moment before he hears a voice.
“Seungmin-ah.”
Seungmin shudders.
“Did you need something? You’re just standing there and staring.” Changbin says it jokingly, no hostility within his voice.
Seungmin moved towards them more, “Are you ready to go?” He asked, staring at Felix.
“I still have some stuff I have to do, but Bin can drop you off, that fine?” Felix smiled, and Seungmin couldn’t be mad at Felix even if he tried.
Seungmin nods.
Felix says his goodbyes to the two before walking off to one of the other members.
The silence between the two as Felix left was loud. They stood there for a second before either of them decided to say something.
Changbin scratched at his head, “Sorry, you’re not uncomfortable, right?”
The question was direct and scary, he was asking because he knew something was up with Seungmin.
“What do you mean?” Seungmin questioned, but he knew what Changbin meant. Maybe acting clueless will help him out.
“When we were doing Pepero.. we accidentally-“
Seungmin eyed his surroundings and covered Changbin's mouth quickly, “Not here, please. Take me to the dorm and we can talk.”
Changbin nodded, licking Seungmin's hand as a way of telling him to “let go.”
“Oh gross!” Seungmin wiped his hand on Changbin's shirt, “Let’s go.” He glared at the man, Changbin grinned.
—
The car ride was rather awkward, consisting of “How was your day” and “I was with you and the others the entire time you know how it was.”
Seungmin wasn’t thrilled thinking of the conversation he was going to have with Changbin. What is he going to say? That his heart was beating two times faster when he felt his own lips on Changbin’s? Or that he purposely likes to get Changbin mad so he starts being rough with Seungmin—
Okay, Seungmin realizes his thoughts are going about a hundred miles per second right now, but he doesn’t know what to say.
Changbin needed to use the bathroom, telling Seungmin “I don’t like going in public, okay it’s awkward-“ He rolled his eyes at the statement and had waved him off to the bathroom.
That leaves Seungmin with himself, and what does he do when he’s alone? He thinks. Maybe too much.
He thinks back to his relationship with Changbin, it’s a regular relationship you have with your really good friend. Nothing abnormal about it.
Seungmin swipes away any thoughts that could allude to what he doesn’t want to admit.
When he thinks about it too hard, he gets a headache, and he doesn’t need that right now.
“You okay?”
Seungmin jumps at the voice, turning around quickly.
“Scared me.” Seungmin crossed his arms, nervous at what’s to come.
Silence. Again. Seungmin hates this already.
Changbin is the first to start again, “So, I wanted to apologize, I mean it’s obvious you’re uncomfortable because we accidentally kissed during the game, and I want you to know it was just an accident—“
Seungmin chewed on his lip, interrupting Changbin, “Just an accident and meant nothing, right?” He fiddled with his fingers, not making eye contact.
Stunned, Changbin slowly nodded, “Yeah, it’s just, I don’t want you to think I did it on purpose.”
Seungmin laughed dryly.
“Wasn’t even your fault, I initiated it.”
“And I under calculated how close we were,” Changbin retorted, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Should Seungmin start being honest?
Before his inner monologue could respond in his own mind, he blurts it out hastily.
“No.”
Changbin frowns, “Was it that weird? I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Seungmin groans, Changbin isn’t understanding him. And he doesn’t blame Changbin for not understanding, talking about feelings isn’t exactly Seungmin’s forte.
“What if it wasn’t nothing?” What does Seungmin have to lose other than one of his best friends?
Changbin blankly stared at him for a moment. “What?”
Seungmin wants to die. “What if I liked it?” He said it quietly, praying maybe Changbin didn’t hear him and he could take everything he just said back.
“You liked the kiss?” Changbin raised an eyebrow, hoping to get as much information as he could squeeze out of Seungmin.
“Yeah.” Seungmin murmured, continuing to look off to the side. “Is that weird?”
“Could we sit down on the couch for this?” Changbin asked sweetly, voice low.
Seungmin nodded and they walked to the couch together.
“Seungmin-ah,” Changbin started, “No it’s not weird, okay?” He puts a reassuring hand on Seungmin’s leg. He doesn’t know how much this affects Seungmin.
“I liked it too.” The words come out one by one, Seungmin can feel his walls collapsing as it’s said. Surely he just means it felt good? Or whatever, right?
“But it was just an accident..” Seungmin replays all the outcomes of this conversation in his mind, and if it does end up being bad, he’d rather not embarrass himself.
“An accident I liked. I thought you were weirded out that we kissed, not that you also liked it..” Changbin meekly says.
Seungmin can feel his breaths getting more rapid, “Can we..” his fingernails dug into his thighs, trying to stop himself from continuing.
“Can we kiss again?” And it’s out. Those nails did nothing.
Seungmin realized his mistake as he said it, “Jesus. Sorry. We don’t have to—“
Before he could say anything else Changbin pulled him into his own space, putting his hand around the back of his neck, recreating what they did during the Pepero game.
This time though, the kiss wasn’t an accident.
Changbin pulled away for a moment, and he heard Seungmin whine. He laughed a bit at that, “Do you want another one?”
Seungmin can feel his face getting redder, he’s out of breath and barely wants to answer. Nodding is the only way he’s going to make it through life.
“Yeah? Use your words.”
Fuck.
“I want… another k-“ Before he could answer fully, the door swung open. Shit. Of course Felix was going to come back soon.
Changbin let go of Seungmin’s neck, the pressure not being there anymore saddened Seungmin.
“Shit. Did I interrupt something?” Felix looked between the two, eyeing Seungmin’s out of breath manner.
“Sorry, I was just about to go anyway.” Changbin stood up, nodding at Seungmin gently.
Seungmin didn’t make it through life by letting things go, he got up and yanked at Changbin's arm, signaling him to follow along.
Felix tilted his head at the two, not able to tell if they were being just Changbin and Seungmin or something else..
Seungmin shut the door as Changbin stepped in, “I like you.”
Changbin grinned, “Really?”
“Now is not the time to act stupid when I'm trying to profess my love!” He said a tad bit too loud, no doubt Felix knows what’s happening.
“Oh, you’re professing your undying love for me?” Changbin fluttered his eyelashes
“I will kick you out.”
“Okay okay, I’m sorry, continue.” Changbin said it more seriously, making sure Seungmin knew he was willing to listen.
“I kind of knew for a while.. I just couldn’t ever admit it.” Seungmin shuffled towards his bed, sitting down on the edge of it.
“I didn’t think it was serious, I just thought we knew each other well.”
Changbin followed along, sitting directly to the side of Seungmin.
“But as time went on, you became more touchy.. I guess I liked it more than I thought.”
Seungmin stumbled on some of these words, “Not just the touching either! I like how funny you are, and how serious you can be.. and your muscles..” he adds the last part nonchalantly.
Changbin genuinely smiles, he puts his hand under Seungmin’s chin and pulls him closer, “I like you too, and not just because of how willing you are to be dragged around.” He pecks at Seungmin’s cheeks.
Seungmin lets out a needed sigh, “Can we just sleep, and..” he bites back the last word, he doesn’t want to cringe at his own words.
“Cuddle?” Changbin finishes his sentence for him.
“Mhm.” Seungmin wrapped his arms around Changbin's neck, “Tired.”
—
Seungmin rubbed his eyes open, unsure of the time he grabbed his phone off the nightstand.
It was 8AM, and Changbin wasn’t on his bed anymore.
Did he leave already? He frowned at the thought, he wanted more time with his.. they haven’t even labeled it yet, he isn’t even sure what they are.
He forced himself up off the bed and made his way to the kitchen begrudgingly.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw Changbin sitting at the table, two plates already on the table filled with food.
Changbin looked up from his phone, “Perfect timing, Min-ah, come sit down I made breakfast, sorry I used some of your guy’s ingredients also..”
Seungmin strode to his seat and sat down, “Felix still here?” He picked up his fork and picked up a piece of bacon with it.
“Said he was meeting up with Chan.” Changbin set his fork down, “Did you think I had left already?”
Seungmin looks up from his plate, can Changbin read minds?
“Just a guess, you looked like a sad puppy when you came out.”
“Did not.”
“Do you want me to say ‘did too’? Because I can.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes, “Thank you for making breakfast, it tastes good.” He ate some of the eggs, “I have a question, though.” He gained some confidence from last night, knowing Changbin feels the same way he does.
“Hm?”
“Well, what are we..?” He ate the last of his eggs, swallowing. “Are we dating?”
Changbin tilted his head, confused, “I confessed that I liked you back last night.”
Seungmin’s ears burn when he gets reminded, “So you're my boyfriend, right?”
Seungmin swore he could see a twinkle in Changbin's eyes.
“Of course.”
“After we’re done eating, can we kiss again?” He bites the inside of his cheek.
“I see you're using your words finally, of course we can.” He grabbed Seungmin’s plate and his own, dropping the two items into the sink.
“You got a box of Pepero?” Changbin turns around, eyeing Seungmin.
He nods and points at the cabinet above Changbin.
He grabs them down and makes his way towards Seungmin, holding a hand out for him to grab.
Seungmin hauled himself up, Changbin pulled them both away into the room.
He sat on the edge of the bed, awaiting Seungmin’s arrival.
Once Seungmin sat beside Changbin, Changbin started to speak.
“Let’s recreate yesterday’s Pepero game, add some more scenes into it.” He pulled one out, and put it in between his teeth.
Seungmin put the other end into his mouth naturally, and bit down. He could feel the pressure of Changbin's hand on the back of his head.
When there was a sliver of a piece left, Seungmin was the one to move into the kiss.
Rotating his head a bit so he could feel every atom of Changbin's lips.
He pushed himself on Changbin's lap, “Need more.”
Changbin straddled Seungmin in his lap, “What do you say, hm?” He kissed down Seungmin’s neck, making sure to leave marks. The members will scold him later, and he won’t regret it.
“Please.”
That one word was music to Changbin's ears.