Chapter Text
They broadcasted her death from three different angles.
His Lenore Dove, nevermore. Ended by Maysilee Donner's dart hitting her when she had turned, hunched over looking at flowers; not one indication about the fact that her "ally" had already decided her death. She fell into those flowers, with those tall stalks and white petals, now broken and blood splattered. They weren't even the final pair, Mariette and that little girl Wellie were still left, maybe that was the fact that made it so unfathomable district folks didn't kill their allies that was a career move.
Then Wellie died of the arena, and they had a final confrontation between Mariette and her. The Career had a trident, but she had the first blow and the poison acted much faster than the trident's arc.
She did get hit though, straight in her stomach and in his anger he hoped this game would have no winners.
Wasn't meant to be though as only one canon burst and Caesar's voice reverberated a few moments later to announce that Maysilee Donner had won the second Quarter Quell.
They broadcasted her interview after a week, she was prettied up with make-up but it couldn't hide her true nature. She was quiet almost enshrouding herself in mystery with Flickerman being no help. No explanations for the murder just a sheepish acknowledgement of it being outside the norm.
So when she returned to district twelve a victor and not a coffin, only her family greeted her at the station. Oh they clapped when mayor Undersee held her ceremony, 'course they had to, capitol mandated their first victor in forty years be given a hero's welcome, but twelve didn't forgive the merchant turned career.
He couldn't forget. Everyday he slept her face haunted him, the botched reaping where Louella got shot and they just picked Lenore Dove off the crowd 'cause she was wearing the brightest colors, the momentary hope when she got a 7 as her training score, her interview with Caesar where she sang and insinuated that she'll come back home for him made that hope dangerously high.
That was the point his nightmares started showing Maysilee's face too. All prettied up to hide her vile intentions, she was reaped in a bright dress too, got a seven too. So when she allied with Lenore Dove after killing Silka, and saved her life, he had thought that his Lenore would be safe.
And they were for a couple of days, exchanging some performative words though he knew it made both of them cringe, it was an alliance of convenience so he had hoped it would break like all alliances of that caliber broke, with an understanding that they will not kill each other but they have to separate 'cause killing each other would soon become an inevitability.
Then the flowers happened.
Then the train-ride with her in the coffin, he couldn't bear to look at his Lenore laying lifeless but he buried her still. With Clark Carmine he dug her grave in the covey graveyard and they shared a bottle after she was buried. The man never really liked him, but he still was emphatic enough to know they shared the same grief.
Maysilee Donner was a pariah then, deservedly. Twelve's folks who always held their head and voice low, whispered a quiet hatred for the girl who killed their Songbird. They didn't spit in her face or shouted slogans but everyone could tell she wasn't welcome. They clapped when capitol told them to clap and cheered when they told them to cheer but they were empty claps and hollow chants.
Then her family died.
Food poisoning the announcement said like they were mindless cattle. Merrilee Donner bled from her eyes in the middle of the class, keeled over and died just like those special flowers had made Wellie from district six keel over, bleed and die in the games. What kind of food did that to someone, it was obvious that it was the capitol but nobody said it out aloud. In the back of his mind he wasn't horrified, and then felt shame 'cause what would Lenore Dove think, his girl had been kind and brave. Unlike Maysilee Donner, now orphaned and all alone, even though she had killed her he knew in his heart she would have sympathy for that woman.
He tried but he couldn't. He went to the funeral, capitol mandated again, saw their bodies laid on those coffins. Much nicer ones than the one Lenore Dove had, saw her sitting there in her black dress. Hair all straightened like they had been in the games, she was wearing capitol funeral garb, with a little net esque veil covering her head and no tears in her eyes. Sat straight and was looking at the coffins, it was sickening.
That night after they buried them all he drank again and he hated the bitter taste still. All the memories of her came back and he was angry again, so when he was at that capitol mansion with a whiskey bottle and a lighter it didn't come up to his mind until he was about to light up the fuse and throw it what he was doing. Hatred, shame, and a deep disgust overcame him then. She wouldn't want this, he deep down didn't want it. Burning that was the worst way to go, he had seen the victims of the fires that happened every winter in the seam. Nobody deserved it, not even Maysilee Donner.
So he drank the bottle in one go, lied to his Ma when she asked what had happened and hoped nobody saw him.
He didn't know it then but he was wrong about the last part.
It was a month to the day he had not burned her capitol mansion down. Rain, persistent and nonstop had brought sickness, Sid had a fever two days in a row; with that phlegm ridden cough and the persistent sweats too. Pneumonia, Ma was trying her hardest he was too. They both knew the outcome but they still tried. Pneumonia this year, flu the year before, most years Seam lost two to the games and twenty to disease.
Little guy was swamped up they had taken all blankets they had and covered him, he had torn of one of his shirts to make a cold compress but he could tell it wouldn't work. A day ago when it hadn't been so dire he had asked Hattie for a day off, and she had given him some medicinal alcohol. Small kindness which probably didn't matter that much now but it still had made him teary eyed.
His twin sisters had died, now Sid was heaving and slowly stepping towards that door.
It didn't make sense, like it didn't back then. Small kindness notwithstanding slowly everything stopped making sense. When good innocent people like Lenore Dove and his brother died and heartless monsters like Snow and 'her' lived.
There was a frantic knock then, he wouldn't have responded but only the peacekeepers or someone even more desperate than them would be out at this weather at their door.
It was her, blonde hair streaked wet and dress soaked. Eyes too blue and face too sharp. It took him a few moments to comprehend her presence, he couldn't believe the audacity. She barely reached his chest and she was a little hunched then, so he missed that she was carrying something.
"Medicine for Sid, take it, quickly I need to go before they find out" she looked not panicked exactly but troubled. Bangs covered her eyes and she was straining her neck to look into his. The blue of her eyes still broke through the strands of wet hair.
When he took the package, unthinkingly almost, she turned around fast and her hair whipped some rainwater on his shirt and face. That was what kicked his mind into understanding. He hadn't refuse, how could he. The medicine was a simple pill bottle, unmarked, but it did it's job quite well. Sid got back on his feet by the days end full of energy again. No sign of him being at death's door a few hours ago. He was overjoyed and deeply, deeply confused.
Ma was overjoyed, he was too. Sid was happy and all fine, not struggling to breathe and on death's door. Though unlike him Ma was thankful to her too, a little too much. He reckoned the fact Maysilee Donner just saved her little boy's life blinded her from the life she had taken not that long ago.
He didn't say anything though how could he maybe some selective forgiveness was good for her. She had suffered so much, all he had and then some. He lost his father and two twin sisters, and also his love, but she lost her husband when they still had ages to go and grow old in and she lost her daughters after carrying them for so many months. So he didn't say anything when Ma whispered thanks to Maysilee Donner under her bated breath, whenever she saw Sid being healthy and happy
The afterimage of her kept coming back to him. Her wet strung hair and her tired face. She didn't have to save his little brother, could have just let him die like she did Lenore, but she still did. It didn't make any sense, but the sight of Sid laughing and making his little drawings made it not matter in the end.
The fact he owed Maysilee fucking Donner so much gratitude scared him though .
Ma had made some soup and it laid on the table. Clearly not for them, as it was too expensive for them to consume. It had actual meat and newly bought vegetables, it was clear she had made it as a gift.
A gift for Maysilee Donner, it was both simultaneously too much cause of the cost and too little cause of what she had done, which was saving Sid.
He was back in school, that kid loved to learn all the ailing he hopefully kept at the back of his mind. He wished Sid never found out how close he had gotten to death.
But Ma wasn't home, she had her laundry thing to take care of, and she couldn't leave it be as she had already taken a few days off in lieu of Sid. Still made that soup, sitting on the table, expensive and probably loosing taste by the minute.
He knew what he had to do.
So as much as it pained him, he packed it up and slung a knapsack around his shoulder and set walk to the Victor Mansion.
It was quite a bit away but twelve wasn't that big of a district. He just wished nobody who saw him put two and two together on what he was doing.
She was up on her balcony with a flowing dress on. Why did she feel the need to dress up he couldn't tell, the victory tour was still months and months away but here was Miss Maysilee Donner in all that getup.
'Course she was smoking. She was infamous for that, whispers he caught working at the still whispers he had exalted in not that long ago, atleast he thought, she was killing herself slowly. Those feelings always bubbled up when he was near her he reckoned.
She was exhaling the smoke from her nose too like the miners outside on their precious breaks she was definitely experienced. One hand on the railing and one on the cigarette, he could see from below that whatever makeup she had was now smeared. Her eyes looked too blue even from afar, she definitely had become thinner, as her collarbone peaked through. Her hair was all frizzy like she hadn't combed it in days.
He held the soup high like an offering and said, "Bought some soup my Ma made" he hoped no disgust seeped through his words. He had practiced saying that the whole way through.
She flicked some ash off, and just stared at him. It was unnerving, she looked like she hadn't slept in a while but her face was clear of any blemishes. Maybe the capitol had given her one of their surgeries, because he could swear she looked different now. More angled and those freckles she had for ages seemed to be gone, but that could have just been his eyesight failing at such a long distance.
"But you hate me don't you" she said it all blaisely, like it wasn't something that grappled within him everyday. Like that fact hadn't made him almost burn it all down.
"You saved my brother's life," he took a breath then composing himself, "and this is what we are doing to repay you"
She threw the cigarette and stepped on it, and surprised him after that using only a word.
"Thanks"
"So do you want me to keep it inside or will come and take it" he said, careful to keep his voice audible to her up there but not at a shouting pitch.
She nodded but did not say anything. Amazing. Soon she was gone from the balcony and he heard steps coming down.
Then the door opened and she was in front of him. For a few seconds he was incapicated she was too close and too blonde and the memory of her and Lenore Dove overwhelmed him, but he persevered.
He put the soup ahead like she had done the medicine, and she took it immediately like he had done before. She looked almost sheepish, her cheeks were a little reddened, maybe she was embarrassed by him. He was too, could feel the warmth on his face the faster this conversation ended the better.
She took the package, and said, "Thank you Haymitch" looking back at him with pointed stare but with a slight smile before she closed the door.
It all felt wrong.