Chapter Text
The restobar wasn’t as packed as it should have been for a Saturday. Gwen and Mikha chose a long table near the door, eight seats. The cushions smelled like cinnamon, which Gwen noticed and immediately hated. The wall had exactly one poster: 'Kay FPJ, Bayan ang Bida.' Sheena and Colet arrived a few minutes later. Sheena with her oversized everyday emergency bag, and Colet with nothing but her walkman and her wired headphones—she didn’t even bring a wallet, just a bunch of crumpled cash and some loose change.
Sheena gave Gwen and Mikha a quick kiss on the cheek, “kanina pa kayo, girls?” Colet slid into the seat near the wall and took off her headphones, carefully winding the wire around her walkman. “Mga ten minutes siguro,” Gwen answered. “Buti na lang wala masyasdong tao.”
Just then, they heard the chimes. Stacey walked in—in a plain white tee and oversized denim jeans. She fanned herself with her hand and moved her sunglasses up, sweeping her hair back. “Di pa kayo nag order?” She asked. Mikha rolled her eyes, “text kami nang text anong gusto niyo, di naman kayo nagrereply.” She stood and nudged the empty seat between her and Colet. Stacey slipped into it, it had always been her place.
“By the way,” Sheena said, scanning the menu with her finger, “may isasama daw pala sila Aiah at Jho, workmate daw.” Mikha leaned closer, raising an eyebrow. “Lalake?” she asked. Sheena shrugged, “ewan.”
It wasn’t a boy. Thank God. They all relaxed when Jho and Aiah walked in. A girl followed after them. “Loi,” Aiah started, pointing around the table. “Si Shee, Gwen—” they waved. “Yan naman si Mikhs.” Maloi gave a bubbly little ‘hi,’ then Aiah continued. “That’s Stacey, tapos yang nangatngat ng kuko niya sa gilid, si Colet.” Stacey gave her usual way-too inviting smile, Colet just raised her eyebrows twice, adjusting her septum piercing. That was as welcoming as she could get.
No one remembers exactly how Colet became one of them. College came and went in a blur. There were bars, inappropriate dares in random basements, that weird semester where they all joined a puppeteer club. Maybe Mikha brought her to lunch, maybe it was Sheena. But all of a sudden, Colet was just there. And all of a sudden, they just trusted her. It was easy, considering she didn’t really talk much.
Unlike the rest of the girls, who spent every waking moment talking over each other, Colet chose to listen. Almost as if she was always saving the right joke for the right time, and she always did it right. But she always kept to herself, comfortable in her own space.
“Eto si Gwen saka si Shee, naka work-from-home lang yan sila,” Jhoanna said, looking at Maloi, who was sitting at the head of the table now. “Ay weh?” Maloi asked, amused, “Anong work yan?” Gwen leaned over past Aiah and Sheena just to smack Jhoanna in the head. “Gago ‘to!” she hissed. “Wala kasi kaming trabaho,” she explained. “Wala…na,” Sheena corrected. “But we’re trying, okay?”
Stacey snorted from the other side of the table. “Anong trying?” she teased, throwing a crumpled piece of paper towel towards them, “last update niyo nga sa resumé niyo, 2001 pa. Para sa internship.”
Maloi laughed, then turned to the other side of the table. “Ikaw, Mikha, what do you do?” Mikha looked up from stirring her coffee, seemingly caught off guard. Stacey cut in, “IT yan siya,” she said, jerking her thumb at Mikha. Then she pointed to herself. “Ako naman, sales agent ng Marlboro.”
“Pinaganda mo pa!” Jhoanna laughed too loud, “alam niyo yang mga babae sa bar na nagbebenta ng marlboro tas may libreng lighter na di umaapoy? Si Staku yan.”
Stacey rolled her eyes, “hindi ah!” she leaned over and pinched Jhoanna’s arm. “Na promote na kaya ako.” But the girls kept laughing anyway, including Maloi, who started to feel less like a stranger. “Anyway,” Stacey continued, still grinning, “si Colet naman…” she paused, then she and the girls exchanged a look.
“Embalsamador!” They all said at the same time, laughing. Colet gave another tight-lipped smile, shaking her head. Nothing she hadn’t heard before. “De joke lang,” Stacey backtracked, almost wheezing now. “May punerarya kasi sila.”
“Refer mo sila ha pag namatayan kayo,” Sheena said, way too earnest and eager, Maloi wasn’t sure if she was joking. She joined in anyway, “Sige ba. Ano name?”
“KaLamay Funeral Homes.” Sheena said. Maloi laughed out loud, leaning back and covering her mouth, careful not to accidentally spit out her cheesecake. Her laughter was invasive, and everyone started laughing with her. Aiah clutched her stomach, smacking Jhoanna’s arm. “Gago seryoso kasi!” she said between bursts of laughter. “Taga-Bohol kasi sila. Tapos diba kalamay ang specialty nila doon?”
Maloi swallowed immediately, waving a hand as if it could magically erase the way she laughed. “Sorry,” she said, “Oh my God, sorry, Colet. Akala ko kasi joke lang!”
“Okay lang yan uy,” Gwen said, wiping her eyes now. “Wala lang siyang emotions. Pero natatawa yan sa kaibuturan ng damdamin niya.”
—
A few rounds of that decadent blueberry cheesecake later, their conversations shifted. Maloi got more relaxed. And more interested, apparently.
“So,” she started, pointing her fingers to both sides of the table alternately. “ Which of you…you know.” She wiggled her fingers suggestively.
“Wala, wala, wala!” Aiah blurted out, covering her ears now. Jhoanna and Sheena grabbed her wrists and peeled her hands away.
“Mikha, Aiah mag ex ‘to!!!” They yelled. Their table was just noise at this point. Even the bartender tried to hide laughter behind the counter. Mikha rolled her eyes, lifting a finger to her throat, fake gagging. Aiah saw it. “Wow ha!” she snapped, “ikaw pa yung diring-diri dito?”
“Wait,” Maloi pouted, “gagi bagay kayo! Bakit kayo nag break?” Mikha slid down from her seat, covering her face with both hands. Stacey kept trying to pull her up. Colet leaned over to see, still not saying anything since her ass touched the seat, but she was smiling wider.
“Ah basta crush ni Stacey si Gwen dati!” Aiah yelled, she had to redirect if she wanted to run away from Maloi’s questions. “Putang ina ka!” Stacey grimaced in her seat. “Damay civilian si gago!”
“Shet ang cute ko talaga,” Gwen mocked, pursing her lips together and sticking out her tongue. “Fun fact,” she added, “may necklace pa yan siya nung college na may ‘G,’” Stacey kept shaking her head, utterly disgusted with the memory. “Wag na nating balikan yan, please.”
“Sabi ni Stacey, God daw kasi meaning n’on.” Colet deadpanned.
Everyone looked at her. They always looked at her when she said something. Especially Maloi, who was now only hearing the voice attached to that shy, smug little face. Sheena leaned across the table and took Colet’s hand, shaking it. “Thank you so much for your input, we appreciate it.” Colet rolled her eyes, pulling her hand away.
“Sino sa inyo yung parang wala talagang chance magkatuluyan?” Maloi asked. The table erupted, Maloi chuckled, attempting to catch everything they were yelling. Sheena yelled, Gwen yelled, Jhoanna yelled and spit out parts of her cake. Mikha covered her ears.
“Kami ata ni Stacey,” Colet mumbled, though her volume was drowned out by the loudmouthed women around her. Maloi noticed her though. She tilted her head and looked at Colet. “Ano?” she asked. The rest of the girls followed her gaze, suddenly silent now.
Colet looked up at all of them and gave another tight-lipped smile. “Sabi ko,” she said, adjusting her piercing again. “Kami ni Stacey ata.” Sheena nodded aggressively, she couldn’t agree more even if she tried. “Oo nga!! Wala kayong chemistry.”
“Zero,” Gwen added.
“Negative pa,” Jhoanna said.
“Check niyo nga,” Stacey said, pressing herself in until her cheek started squishing against Colet’s face. “Walang sparks?” Colet didn’t react, didn’t even lean in or lean away.
“Wala talaga,” Sheena said flatly.
“Wala,” Gwen agreed.
“Parang magpinsan,” Jhoanna added.
—-
Mahalkitabujoy has joined the conference.
_pinky_aubrey_13: tang ina., iba na nmn account mo shee?
Mojo!jhojho: cute si maloi guys nuh
hehehe
hehehe
hehehe :))
Mahalkitabujoy: k lng
hahaha
kapitsapataLIM: largahan mo na jho >:)
turuan kita beh
Mahalkitabujoy: seryos?? gus2 mo sya?? :O
Mojo!jhojho:
hehe
hehe
grabe kau :((
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: ops……
Apuligwenneth: oops kc
napaka bisaya neto :P
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: O P S
Mojo!jhojho: praktis aq ha
hi maloi anu gawa mo
ah ligo?
pwd sumabay :">
_pink_aubrey_13: BWISIT KA WAHAHAHA
kapitsapataLIM: kadiri
Mojo!jhojho: haist…
ganyan ka mal0i porket panget aq :((
Mahalkitabujoy: puke ng ina tumigil ka nga T_T
Mojo!jhojho: ah single ka mal0i??? sa ganda mong yan :O
swerte ng magiging gf mo grabe :((
Apuligwenneth: pre wag ka na mag type pls
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: AMBOT NABOANG
Mojo!jhojho: hnd mo aq type??
sige
magpapakamatay nlng aq >:(
[email protected]: lol
Mojo!jhojho: wla ka tlga puso colet :((
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: kick ko na
Mojo!jhojho has been removed from the conference.
_pink_aubrey_13: YIPEEE:))
Mahalkitabujoy: balik ka bukas tanga hahaha
kapitsapataLIM: babe 2log na ako <3
Mojo!jhojho: :O?? hala
kapitsapataLIM: AY
Apuligwenneth: ngekngok????????????
Mahalkitabujoy: txt mo na lng kay aiah para di halata ba
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: hnd ako yan!
_pink_aubrey_13: cno ba iba babe niya kw lng naman?????????
Apuligwenneth: witwiwww babe tawag nyan sa lahat para d mahalata na marami
—-
Karaoke bars breed two kinds of people. There are those who sit back with a drink, happy to be included, swaying to the beat and perhaps punching in a single song—if they even sing at all. Then there are those who treat the stage as a warground, ready to skin anyone alive who dares to snatch the microphone. Colet and Stacey sat at opposite ends of this extreme.
“Jopaaay, kamusta ka na…” Stacey sang into the mic. It was her fifth consecutive song.
“Tang ina mo talaga ikaw na magbayad ha!” Aiah screamed. Everyone else kept singing along. Colet stayed in the corner, bobbing her head, downing her beer in two big big gulps. Jhoanna leaned toward her, “Colet,” she whispered, “palagay ng Kapag Tumibok Ang Puso.” Colet chuckled, “paparinig ka kay Maloi?”
Jhoanna shoved her shoulder. “Gago... syempre.”
“Dadalhin kita sa aming bahay, di tayo mag-aaway…” She pointed the mic at random people, expecting backup.
“Aalis tayo sa tunay na mun—oy Colet sa’n ka pupunta?” Stacey said, mic still hovering inches from her mouth.
Colet raised two fingers to her lips—yosi lang. Stacey nodded. “Sama ako!” Maloi yelled, already standing. Which, honestly, made Jhoanna sad. She literally was just about to fake a stretch just so she could put an arm around Maloi’s shoulder. Colet nodded, pausing by the door to wait.
As soon as they walked out, Jhoanna slid closer to Gwen. “G, parang iba yung nararamdaman ko kay Maloi,” she said, inviting Gwen to lean in. “Ano?” Gwen asked.
“Parang trip niya si Colet, no?” she asked, squinting at the door. “Pansin mo ba?”
Gwen shrugged, perpetually disinterested with Jhoanna’s antics. “Bahala na,” Jhoanna continued. “Kung di siya para sa’kin, aagawin.”
“Ikaw na, G!” Stacey said, tossing the mic over to Gwen’s lap. Sheena exhaled loud. “Salamat naman! May twenty eight songs na sa queue, yung twenty five sayo lahat!”
“Bagal niyo naman kasi mamili!” Stacey shot back.
Colet and Maloi came back in as soon as Gwen started singing the chorus. They still smelled like marlboro reds. Everyone sang—or screamed—with Gwen.
“Hoy!!! Pinoy ako!!”
Aiah snatched the mic from Gwen’s hand, “Buo aking itlog, wala’y liki, wala’y bun-og!” Colet laughed—more out of surprise that Aiah would sing it that way. Mikha nudged her, “Ano meaning non???”
—
Mojo!jhojho has entered the room.
Mojo!jhojho: may nararamdaman aq
guys
:(
hello
hey
HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!
Y NO ANSWER ????
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: yes ?
Mojo!jhojho: w8 ko muna sila ..
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: animal ka
Mahalkitabujoy has entered the room.
Mahalkitabujoy: anu meron
Mojo!jhojho: teka lng
Mahalkitabujoy: bwisit
Apuligwenneth has entered the room.
Apuligwenneth: ano nanaman to
Mojo!jhojho: may sasabihin aq
kapitsapataLIM has entered the room.
kapitsapataLIM: kung walang kwenta to aalis ako
Mojo!jhojho: tungkol kila colet at maloi
Mahalkitabujoy: :O
Apuligwenneth: grabe ka tlga
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: ano nnman naisip mo
Mojo!jhojho: anu pinagusapan nila sa yosi break
tagal nila sa labas ah
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
kapitsapataLIM: imagination mo ang limit :D
Mahalkitabujoy: baka nagyosi lng tlga bobo
Mojo!jhojho: HND
RAMDAM KO KAKAIBA. :( msakit
_pink_aubrey_13 has entered the room.
_pink_aubrey_13: what when where who
Apuligwenneth: praning kasi to si jho
Mojo!jhojho: stacey anu pinagusapan nila
_pink_aubrey_13: baka nag kiss. malay q ba
Rockstar lng aq eh :P
Mojo!jhojho: san na si colet
Mahalkitabujoy: tulog na un
kapitsapataLIM: or nag soundtrip
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: or ayaw ka kausap
Mojo!jhojho: GRABE KAU SAKIT
…
…
[email protected] has entered the room.
Mojo!jhojho: OY COLET
ANO PINAGUSAPAN NYO
[email protected]: hello
Mojo!jhojho: ANO NGA
…
…
Mahalkitabujoy: nag load pa ata net nyan
Apuligwenneth: pulubi :))
…
[email protected]: nagyosi lng
Mojo!jhojho: TANGA DI NGA
ANO PINAGUSAPAN
…
…
[email protected]: tinatanong nya ano number ni stacey
Mojo!jhojho: :O
Mahalkitabujoy: :O
Apuligwenneth: :O
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: :O
kapitsapataLIM: :O
_pink_aubrey_13: ha bakit
[email protected]: ewan
[email protected] has set status to Busy.
Mojo!jhojho: COLET BUMALIK KA D2
Mahalkitabujoy: patay ka stacey may manliligaw ka na hahahaha
Apuligwenneth: jho tahimik ka na
wla na chance HAHA
—
Stacey’s phone beeped.
Colet: uy. ok lng ba bigay ko number mo
Stacey: kanino
Colet: maloi nga…..
Stacey: ha bakit nga…..
Colet: humingi kanina wyl nag yosi
Stacey: bakit? wala naman kami paguusapan ah
Colet: ewan
Stacey: ano sabi nya sayo
Colet: wala
Stacey: so bat hinihingi number ko
Colet: ewan
Stacey: loko ka ba. ano naman pag uusapan namin
Colet: ewan
Stacey: wahaha bwisit ka. tulong naman dyan
Colet: bibigay ko ba o hnd
Stacey: teka lang nag iisip pa ko
Colet: load ko paubos na
Stacey: oo na sige. bigay mo na
Colet: ok
Stacey: ano paguusapan namin???
Colet: ewan
Stacey: puro ewan muka kang ewan gago
Colet: tulog na ko
Before Colet could put her phone down, it buzzed again.
Jhoanna: wg mo ibibigay num ni staku T_T first come first served akn na un c maloi!!!
Colet didn’t reply.
—
Everything was slightly damp in their favorite ukay-ukay store. Clothes hung on metal racks that screeched every time someone slid a hanger. Cardboard signs were taped everywhere in thick blue pentel pen:
20 – SANDO
35 – TSHIRT
50 – PANTS
100 – JACKET (BAWAL TAWAD)
Sheena was already elbow-deep in a basket. “Hoy grabe,” she said, lifting a glittery tube top. “Lalabas ba utong ko dito?”Gwen snorted and kept flipping through hangers. Stacey held up a tiny baby tee against herself. “Bagay ba ’to sakin?”
“Hindi,” Gwen said. Colet just followed behind them quietly. She had her hands in her pockets, except when she occasionally pulled out one random shirt.
“Stacey,” Sheena suddenly called out.
“Oh?”
“Kamusta kayo ni Maloi?”
Stacey paused mid-rack. “Ha?” Gwen didn’t even look up. “Nagte-text ba?”
“Hindi masyado.”
“Hindi masyado,” Sheena repeated. “So nagte-text nga?”
“Sus ayan ka na naman,” Stacey said, rolling her eyes. “Normal lang. Nangangamusta lang.”
Gwen slid a hanger aside. “Ano sabi?”
“Wala. Kumain ka na. Ganyan.”
“Sweet naman,” Sheena teased. “Hindi sweet yun!” Stacey countered, defensive.
“Flirty,” Gwen added.
“Hindi nga!”
Sheena gasped. “Nag good morning ba??”
“OO PERO—”
“AYAN NA,” Gwen said flatly.
“Friendly lang siguro yun!” Stacey defended, now half-laughing, half-stressed. “Parang lahat nilalagyan niyo ng meaning.”
“Baka insurance agent,” Colet said. They all turned. She was holding a faded polo that said Boracay Summer ‘98. Stacey just stared. “Ha?”
“Baka bebentahan ka lang,” Colet continued. “Networking ba.” She put the shirt back, and kept walking. “GAGO,” Sheena yelled, giggling. Gwen doubled over laughing. “Tangina di ko naisip yun ah.”
“Bwisit ka, Colet,” Stacey said, but she was smiling. They moved to the jeans pile—50 pesos each. All low-rise. “All I’m saying is,” Sheena continued, squatting down to dig, “pag nag ‘ingat ka palagi,’ may motibo na ’yan.”
“Hindi ba normal yun??”
“HINDI,” Gwen and Sheena said together.
Stacey groaned and buried her face in a denim jacket.
“Ano ba dapat reply ko? Kayo nga.”
“Sabayan mo lang,” Gwen said immediately.
“Or hindi-an mo na kung ayaw mo talaga,” Sheena added.
“Sabihin mo may asawa ka na,” Gwen followed.
“Sira.” Stacey looked around. “Colet, ikaw ba. Ano sa tingin mo?”
Colet was already halfway to the cashier, examining a black hoodie. She shrugged without looking up. “Ewan.” The girl behind the makeshift counter glanced at them. “Miss, 35 na lang yan,” she said. Sheena held up three random shirts. “Ate, tatlo 80 na to ha.”
“Hindi pwede.”
“90?”
“…sige na nga.”
“YESSSSS.”
Gwen leaned toward Stacey again, quieter this time. “Pero seryoso. Trip mo ba?” Stacey hesitated. Looked down at the baby tee still in her hands.
“…ewan,” she mumbled.
—
The house was already dark when the phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times. From the living room. Colet stared at the ceiling for a full five seconds before sitting up.
“Putang ina, ” Fourth ring. She shuffled out in the dark, almost tripping over a monoblock chair, and picked up the receiver before it woke everyone. “Hello, good evening.” She croaked. There was static. Then—
“Hello? Colet? Ikaw yan?” Stacey was whispering.
“…oo.”
“Gising ka?”
“…ngayon oo.”
A fan whirred on Stacey’s side. TV noise in the background. Someone was washing dishes. “Sorry ha,” Stacey said. “Wala kasing sumagot sa kanila.”
“Okay lang.” Then silence. Colet leaned against the wall, eyes half closed. “Bakit?”
“Wala,” Stacey said too fast.
“…may tanong lang.”
“Go.”
“Okay lang ba talaga… replyan ko si Maloi?”
Colet blinked slowly. “Ha?”
“Okay lang ba talaga replyan ko si Maloi?”
“Oo.”
“Kasi nagtetext pa rin siya.”
“Mm.”
“Eh si Jho kasi—”
“—trip niya,” Colet finished.
“OO.”
Another pause.
A tricycle passed outside Colet’s street.
“Parang ang sama ko,” Stacey said, pouting. “Baka isipin niya inaagaw ko or ewan.”
“Text lang naman,” Colet said.
“Alam ko pero—”
“Wala pa ngang nangyayari.”
“…oo nga,” Stacey sighed. “Ang simple mo naman mag-isip.”
“Nakakapagod kasi.”
“You think ma-hurt siya?”
“Hindi.”
“Sure ka?”
“Hindi rin.”
“…gago.”
Colet slid down the wall and sat on the floor, half asleep again. “So anong gagawin ko?” Stacey asked.
“Reply ka kung gusto mo.”
“Eh kung hindi?”
“Di wag.”
“…ang helpful mo talaga.”
“Salamat.”
“Hindi compliment yun!”
There was silence again. Longer this time. Just the sound of their breaths answering each other.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Colet.”
“Hmm.”
“Masama ba akong tao?”
“…hindi.”
“Promise?”
“Oo.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Sige. Thanks ha.”
“Mm.”
“Matulog ka na.”
“Mm.”
“Baba ko na?”
“Baba na.”
Neither of them hung up for five—maybe ten seconds. “…ikaw muna,” Stacey said.
“…ikaw,” Colet replied.
“Bwisit ka.”
Click.
Dial tone.
—
Stacey realized two things. One: Maloi might be asking her out. Two: she absolutely could not face that possibility alone. So she did what any sane person would do: she started calling everyone. She was practically a walking SOS sign.
GWEN
“Hello?”
“G, samahan mo ko bukas.”
“San.”
“May lakad lang kami ni Maloi.”
“…date?”
“Hindi nga date!”
“Kaya mo na yan.”
Click
“HOY—”
Dial tone.
SHEENA
“Ano?”
“Beh samahan mo ko tomorrow pls.”
“May shift na ako.”
“Half day lang—”
“Double shift.”
“Sinungaling.”
“Bye.”
Click
MIKHA
“…hello.”
“Mikhs. Labas tayo bukas.”
“No.”
“Di mo pa alam kung saan—”
“No.”
“Grabe ka naman.”
“Mainit sa labas.”
Click
AIAH
“Stace, kung mangungutang ka—”
“Hindi!”
“Walang wala talaga ako.”
“Hoy—”
Click
Stacey stared at the receiver. “Gago,” she whispered to herself. She flopped face-first onto the sofa cushion. That left two names.
JHOANNA
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
“Hello?”
“Jho—”
“Ayokoooo.”
“…di mo pa alam—”
“No.”
“Samahan mo lang ako—”
“Kasama si Maloi?”
“…oo.”
“Papamukha pa talaga oh.”
Click
Which left her with, unfortunately….
COLET
Ring.
There was a long pause, and then another ring.
Then, finally, shuffling sounds.
“Hello,” Colet said, sleepy.
“…natulog ka ba?”
“Malapit na.”
“May favor ako.”
“Magkano?”
“Hindi pera gago.”
“Ay.”
Stacey paced the living room. “Samahan mo ko bukas.”
“San?”
“Lalabas kami ni Maloi.”
“Ah.”
“Di ko sure kung date ba o hindi eh.”
“Ah.”
“Baka awkward. Kailangan ko buffer.”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“Colet?”
“Hmm.”
“Samahan mo ko please.”
“…anong gagawin ko?”
“Basta andun ka lang.”
“Andun lang? Di pwede gumalaw?”
“SYEMPRE PWEDE GAGO!”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“....”
“Libre pagkain?” Colet asked.
“OO.”
“Ok.”
“…talaga?”
“Mm.”
“Wala ka na ibang tanong???”
“Wala.”
“…di ka man lang magtataka bakit ako kinakabahan?”
“Hindi.”
"Di mo man lang ako pipigilan?"
"Hindi."
“Okay fine.”
“Anong oras?”
Stacey looked at the clock.
“…mga 4?”
“Sige.”
“Sure ka ha.”
“Mm.”
“…Colet.”
“Hmm.”
“Bwisit ka talagang kausap pag emotional ako.”
“Yeah.”
“…thank you.”
“Ge.”
Click
Stacey stared at the dead receiver, pouting. “…putang ina,” she mumbled. Of all the people in the world… Si Colet pa talaga, parang kahoy lang naman yun kasama.
—
They met outside a McDonald’s. It was 4:12 PM. Too early for dinner. Too late for snacks. The most awkward possible time slot. Stacey had been there since 3:40. Her armpits were visibly sweaty through her grey Parokya ni Edgar shirt. Behind her, Colet sat on the low concrete ledge, drinking C2 in her worn out blue hoodie, headphones on.
“Okay ba buhok ko?” Stacey asked for the seventh time. “Mm,” Colet said.
“Mm ano.”
“May buhok ka.”
“PUTA KA.”
Her phone buzzed.
Maloi: san ka na :)
Her stomach dropped.
“Putangina,” Stacey whispered.
“Dumating na?” Colet asked.
“OO.”
“Ah.”
“‘Ah’ lang???”
Colet shrugged.
“Stacey?”
She turned, and Maloi was jogging toward her from the overpass, waving. Smiling. Her hair was tied up, sleeves rolled, effortlessly cute. Stacey forgot how to stand properly.
“Hi,” Maloi said, a little out of breath. “Kanina ka pa dito?”
“H-Hindi! Kakarating ko lang!” They stared at each other for half a second too long. Then Stacey panicked and grabbed Colet by the sleeve.
“Sinama ko si Colet pala,” she blurted. “Mag-isa lang kasi siya today.”
“Hi,” Maloi said warmly.
Colet lifted her hand slightly. “Yo.”
They ended up in a small cafe beside the jeepney terminal. Plastic chairs, sticky tables, 45-peso iced coffee. Maloi insisted on paying.
“Libre ko na,” she said.
“Hala wag—”
“Sige na.”
“…sige.” Stacey sat too straight with her knees together and her hands on her lap. Across from her, Maloi leaned back casually. Colet sat at the next table, drinking coffee with her back turned. Absolutely not buffering anything. Stacey immediately pulled out her Nokia.
Stacey: tulong. bat ako nanginginig
Across the cafe, Colet’s phone buzzed. She checked it.
Colet: kumalma ka
Stacey: pano. ang cute nya pala pag malapit.
Colet: inom tubig
Stacey: hindi ako aso gago
Colet: ewan
Stacey glared at her.
“Everything okay?” Maloi asked, smiling.
“OO!” Stacey said too loud.
“Kinakabahan ka ba?”
“…hindi.”
“Sure?”
“…medyo.”
Maloi laughed softly. “Relax ka lang. Di naman kita kakagatin.”
“…sayang.”
“Ha?”
“WALA.”
Putangina. Why did she say that? She immediately texted again.
Stacey: may sinabi ako na weird. gusto ko na umuwi
Colet: wag
Stacey: bakit
Colet: di mo pa na-order pagkain ko
“PUTA KA,” Stacey mumbled out loud.
Five minutes later, she wasn’t texting anymore. Because Maloi was telling some story about getting lost in Divisoria and accidentally riding the wrong jeep. Her hands moved when she talked. Every time she smiled, Stacey forgot what question she was supposed to ask next.
“Ba’t tahimik ka?” Maloi teased.
“Listener ako eh.”
“Sinungaling. Ang daldal mo kaya sa text.”
“…hala.”
“Cute mo nga eh.”
Stacey short-circuited. Somewhere behind them, Colet was peeling the sticker off her cup.
—
They crossed to a cramped ukay-ukay after.
Maloi immediately dove into the racks. “Mahilig ka sa ganito?” Stacey asked.
“Oo. Enjoy kaya, parang treasure hunting.” She pulled out a huge polo and held it against Stacey.
“Bagay ’to sayo.”
“Ang laki!”
“Girlfriend shirt.”
“Ha?”
“Joke lang.”
“Ay.”
Putangina ulit.
Her phone buzzed again.
She looked, there were three missed texts from Colet.
Colet: nasa labas lang ako ha.
Colet: mainit
Colet: bilis
Colet: tapos na kau
Colet: gutom na ako
Stacey stared at the screen. Then looked back at Maloi, who was laughing while trying on sunglasses that clearly didn’t match her face. She shoved the phone back into her pocket. And eventually, forgot to reply.
Outside, Colet waited beside a taho vendor. Drinking another C2, completely unaware that Stacey hadn’t texted her back in twenty minutes. Jhoanna did though…
Jhoanna: itulak mo si staku sa kalsada
—
12:38 AM. Stacey lay flat on her bed. She was restless from all the caffeine (or maybe from all the new emotions). She kicked her blanket aside and grabbed her Nokia, rereading her messages.
“…tangina.”
She stood up and went straight to the living room. She dialed a memorized number.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Shuffling. Something fell. A chair scraped.
“…hello,” Colet croaked, obviously half asleep.
“Colet.”
“…mm.”
“Sorry.”
“…para san.”
“Iniwan kita kanina.”
“...”
“...”
“…sorry din umuwi na ko,” Colet said. “nagutom na ko.”
“I KNOW SORRY.”
“kumain ako ng lugaw.”
“…okay.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“…ba't ka tumawag?” Colet asked.
“Wala lang. Update.”
“Sa?”
“Yung date.”
“Go.”
“Hindi pala siya awkward.”
“Diba…”
“Like. At all.”
“Mm.”
Stacey started pacing, whispering too loud.
“Grabe ang daldal niya. Tapos tumatawa siya sa sarili niyang jokes. Tapos ang cute? Nakakainis?”
“Tapos?”
“Tapos ang bango niya.”
Colet snorted. “Ano ba yan,” she mumbled.
“Hindi seryoso—”
“Inamoy mo ba siya?”
“HINDI NAMAN INAAMOY—”
“…weirdo ka pala.”
“Hindi ah!”
“...”
Colet yawned, loud and unashamed. “HHHAAAUUUGHHH—”
“Putangina mo wag muna ka matulog!”
“...”
“Makinig ka muna!”
“Go.”
“Parang… ewan ko. Parang kinikilig ako.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
Stacey giggled.
“Kilig ka?” Colet teased.
“ANO BA.”
“Grade six ka?”
“GAGO.”
Colet laughed again, fuller this time, still half-delirious. “Ang oa mo talaga, Stace,” she said.
“Eh kasi—” Stacey sat on the floor now, back against the wall, smiling like an idiot. “Hindi ko inexpect eh.”
“Ano?”
“Na ganito pala feeling.”
“ano?”
“Yung excited ka lang. Kahit wala namang ginagawa.”
“Ang dami niyo ngang ginawa,” Another yawn from Colet. “Antok na talaga ko Stace.”
“Sandali na lang.”
“Go.”
“Hinatid niya ko pauwi.”
“Tapos?”
“Tapos sabi niya text ko daw siya pag naka-uwi na ko.”
“Tapos?”
“Normal ba yun?”
“Oo.”
“Sure ka?”
“Oo.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Ang bango niya talaga.”
Colet burst out laughing. “Tulog ka na nga,” she said. “Bukas ka na kiligin.”
“Bwisit ka talaga.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you ha.”
“Mm.”
“Sorry ulit iniwan kita.”
“Ok lang.”
“…Colet.”
“Ano.”
“Wala kang kwentang kausap.”
“Alam ko.”
“…bye na.”
“Baba mo na.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“…ikaw muna.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“…ikaw.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“…ikaw.”
“...”
“...”
“…ikaw.”
“...”
“…ikaw.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Night, Stace.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Night.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Night.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Night.”
Click.
—
Mojo!jhojho has entered the conference.
Mojo!jhojho:
asan kau
hello
guys
:(
Mahalkitabujoy: ano nanaman
Apuligwenneth: may sunog ba
Mojo!jhojho: tanong lang
kapitsapataLIM has entered the conference.
kapitsapataLIM: bilis nag minesweeper ako
Mojo!jhojho: masaya ba sina stacey saka maloi
…
Mojo!jhojho: joke wag nyo ako sagutin
…
Mahalkitabujoy: tanga
Apuligwenneth: bakit mo tinanong kung ayaw mo sagot
Mojo!jhojho: wala lang
curious lang
research
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly has entered the conference.
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: ano research mo nanaman
Mojo!jhojho: wala
feeling ko kasi date tlga un
…
Mojo!jhojho: asan si stacey
Mahalkitabujoy: malamang kasama si maloi
Mojo!jhojho: :((
Apuligwenneth: iyak lungs
Mojo!jhojho: hnd ako naiiyak
naiinis lng
…
Mojo!jhojho:
2 days na offline
ano ginagawa nila
kapitsapataLIM: kumakain
Mojo!jhojho: hnd
iba un
ramdam ko
Mahalkitabujoy: praning ka tlga
Mojo!jhojho: baka nanonood sine
baka magkatabi
baka naka akbay
PUTA
Apuligwenneth: sige idiin mo pa
Mojo!jhojho: baka hinatid sya pauwi
tapos slow walk
tapos tahimik
TAPOS MAY TITIGAN
Aiahaiahimalittlebutterfly: patayin nyo na to
kapitsapataLIM: jho tulog out ka muna pls
Mojo!jhojho: hnd ko kaya
:(
…
[email protected] has entered the conference.
Mojo!jhojho: COLET
NASAN SILA
ANO GINAGAWA
[email protected]: ewan
Mojo!jhojho: kasama ka dba nung nakaraan
[email protected]: umuwi ako
Mojo!jhojho: BAKIT
[email protected]: gutom
Mahalkitabujoy: WAHAHAHAHAHA
Apuligwenneth: DI PINAKAIN
Mojo!jhojho: COLET NAMAN EH
ano galawan
may kilig ba
[email protected]: ewan
Mojo!jhojho: ANO BA YANG EWAN MO
TULONG NAMAN
[email protected]: matutulog na ko
Mojo!jhojho: WAG
[email protected] has set status to Busy.
Mojo!jhojho: GRABE
WALA AKONG KAKAMPI
:((
_pink_aubrey_13 has entered the conference.
_pink_aubrey_13: ano meron
Mojo!jhojho: WALA
LOG OUT KA NA
AYOKO NA
Apuligwenneth: :O
—
It was already past eleven. Everyone else in the house was asleep. She sat on the edge of the sofa, staring at the landline. Then she dialed.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Static.
“Hello?” Jhoanna answered.
“Jho.”
“…Stacey? Ba’t ka tumatawag. May utang ka ba sakin”
“Ano yung chat mo?”
“Wala… kamusta?” Jhoanna asked.
“Okay lang.”
“Masaya?”
“…oo.”
Too fast.
“Ah,” she said quietly.
Stacey scratched her arm, pacing again. “Hoy,” she started. “Okay ka lang ba?”
“Ha?”
“Wala. Basta. Okay ka lang?”
“Bakit?”
“Ewan ko. Baka kasi… weird.”
“Weird ang?”
“Yung… kami ni Maloi.”
“…ah,” Jhoanna said again.
“Di ka naman galit?” Stacey asked.
“Bakit ako magagalit?”
“Trip mo siya diba.”
Jhoanna huffed a laugh. “Trip ko lahat. Standard ko mababa.”
“Gago seryoso.”
“Hindi ako galit,” she said.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“…konti lang.”
“Hoy.”
“Joke lang.”
“Jho.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Gusto mo ba talaga?” Jhoanna asked.
Stacey froze and looked down at her slippers. She thought about the coffee, the way Maloi laughed, the way she smelled.
“…I think so,” she said softly.
On the other end, Jhoanna clicked her tongue. Like she expected and resented that answer. “…okay,” she said. “Titiisin ko na lang.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Hoy wag ganun.” Stacey pouted.
“Eh ano gusto mo gawin ko. Suntukin kita?”
“…hindi.”
“Oh edi titiisin.”
“...”
“Basta,” Jhoanna added, lighter now, forcing it, “pag sinaktan ka niyan, ako sasapak ha.”
“Ako pa nga siguro mananakit.”
“Ulol.”
They both laughed a little.
“Salamat ha,” Stacey said.
“For what?”
“Sa… kasi di ka kupal.”
“Hoy kupal pa rin ako.”
“Gago.”
“Stace.”
“Hmm?”
“Text mo ko pag kasal na kayo.”
“PUTA KA.”
“Matulog ka na.”
“Baba na.”
“Okay bye!”
Click.
After the call, she immediately grabbed her cellphone.
Stacey: galit ba si jho :(
Colet: zzzz
Stacey: gago seryoso
Colet: tulog na ko
Stacey: pls sagot. feeling ko galit sya
Colet: baka hurt lng
Stacey: MASAMA BA AKO
Colet: hnd
Stacey: sure ka
Colet: oo
Stacey: prang umiyak sya sa phone eh :((
Colet: arte lng un
Stacey: hoy wag ganun. kaibigan natin yun
Colet: k sorry
Stacey: tawag ka
Colet: ni?
Stacey: ha?
Colet: sino tumatawag
Stacey: bobo TAWAGAN MO AKO
Colet: ay.
Stacey: OO NGA. nsa tabi na ako ng telefon. bilis
Colet: zzzz
Stacey: COLET NAMAN
Stacey: 2mins lng
Stacey: emergency 2
Colet: buhay ka pa naman
Stacey: PUTA KA TALAGA
Stacey: tawag ka na pls
Colet: load muna
Stacey: TELEFON NGA
Colet: OK. w8
Three whole minutes passed…
Stacey: buhay ka pa
Colet: hinahanap ko tsinelas ko
The phone rang twice before Stacey picked up.
“Stace…,” Colet said.
“ANG TAGAL MO,” Stacey whisper-yelled.
“hinanap ko tsinelas ko.”
“Bakit kailangan mo pa mag-tsinelas.”
“Malamig sahig.”
Stacey pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Colet seryoso ’to.”
“Go.”
“Galit ba si Jho?” Stacey asked immediately.
“…huh?”
“Si Jhoanna. Parang iba siya. Baka galit.”
“Baka inaantok lang.”
“Hindi eh. Iba.”
“Sinabi mo ba,” Colet said slowly, “na lalabas kayo ulit.”
“…oo.”
“Ayun.”
“AYUN ANO.”
“Edi nasaktan.”
“…putangina.”
“Yeah.”
“Masama ba ako?”
“Hindi nga.”
“Sure ka?”
“Oo.”
“Pero parang ang sama ko.”
“Stacey.”
“Ano?”
“Wala ka pa nang ginagawa.”
“…ha?”
“Date pa lang.”
“…oo nga.”
“Arte mo.”
“Gago talaga 'to.”
Colet laughed. Short and half-asleep and croaky.
“Nung nakaraan kinikilig ka,” she said. “Ngayon guilty ka naman.”
“Eh ganito talaga ako!”
“Nakakapagod.”
“Hoy!” Stacey paced around the living room again, stretching the cord. “Ewan ko. Gusto ko lang na okay siya. Ayoko naman masira barkada natin.”
“Di yan.”
“Pano mo nasabi?”
“Alam ko lang.”
“Explain?”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Putangina mo wag ka matulog!”
“Gabi na, Stace.”
“Sandali na lang…”
“Go.”
“Parang gusto ko siya eh.”
“So?”
“Ganun lang sagot mo??” Stacey scratched her head.
“Yeah.”
“GAGO.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Colet,” Stacey said, softer.
“Mm.”
“Salamat ha.”
“Kasi?”
“Kasi nakikinig ka”
“Wala naman akong choice.”
“…”
“…matulog ka na,” Colet yawned.
“Okay.”
“Wag ka na mag-isip.”
“Try ko.”
“Text ka bukas.”
“Okay.”
“Sige.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Sige.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Sweet dreams, Stace.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Okay.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Okay.”
“…”
“…”
—
Beach trips, for their group, always started at an hour that felt illegal.
The sky was still gray when Colet pulled the van out of their street. Sari-sari stores were only just lifting their shutters. A tricycle rattled past with a driver still chewing on pandesal. Somewhere nearby, someone was frying garlic rice, and the smell drifted through the open windows.
They used the same van. Empty snack wrappers from the last trip still hid in the door pockets. Colet didn’t comment on any of it. She just adjusted the rearview mirror, set both hands on the wheel, and drove.
She drove the same way she did everything else—quietly and without drama. No sudden brakes, no reckless turns. Calm. Predictable. It made everyone else relax, which was exactly why she always ended up being the driver, whether she volunteered or not.
The first stop was Stacey’s house.
The gate screeched open and Stacey came out still damp from a shower, hair dripping onto the shoulders of her shirt. She had a tote bag slung over one arm and a small pillow tucked against her chest.
“Harap ako!” she called out before the van had even fully stopped.
She slipped into the passenger seat, buckled her seatbelt, then leaned back with a satisfied sigh. “Good morning,” she said, grinning. Colet glanced at her once, then back at the road. “Sa likod ka.”
Stacey froze. “Ha?”
“Si Mikha diyan.”
“Bakit ako paaalisin mo agad? Kakaupo ko pa lang!”
“Matutulog ka lang eh.”
“Hindi ah.”
“Last time,” Colet continued, starting the engine again, “Natulog ka lang. Two hours tayong nasiraan di ka man lang nagising.”
“So?”
“Si Mikha diyan.”
Right on cue, the house across the street opened and Mikha shuffled out. She climbed into the front seat without a word, buckled up, and within seconds her head tipped against the window. She was out cold. Just like that.
Stacey watched the whole thing happen in silence.
“Gago,” she muttered. “Favoritism ’to.”
“Alam niya kasi saan yung resort,” Colet said.
By the time they picked up everyone else, the van felt like it had shrunk.
Gwen squeezed in beside a cooler. Sheena balanced a grocery bag on her lap. Aiah complained about the heat even though it was barely nine in the morning. Jhoanna took control of the radio and kept switching stations every few seconds, chasing the perfect song and annoying everyone in the process. Sheena passed around hard-boiled eggs wrapped in tissue, “para may laman tiyan niyo.” Mikha stayed asleep the entire time.
Stacey leaned forward at one point just to check. “Unfair ka talaga,” she muttered again.
They reached the beach a little past nine, when the sun was already high enough to hurt. The sand was warm the second they stepped out, waves rolled in slowly, enough to make the shoreline sparkle. Of course, all the cottages were taken. They didn’t even bother asking anymore.
“Banig na lang,” Gwen said, already pulling the folded mat from the back.
Coolers thumped onto the sand one by one. Ice sloshed inside plastic buckets. Gwen unfolded a camping chair, Sheena crouched beside the portable grill and started setting up charcoal. Toyomansi was mixed in a plastic cup. Vinegar with chopped chili went into a tiny saucer. Banana ketchup got squeezed onto a paper plate that immediately started warping from the heat.
Stacey sat on top of one of the coolers, tying her hair into a messy ponytail while pretending not to check her phone every few minutes. “Susunod daw si Maloi,” she said.
Across from her, Colet cracked open a beer, took one slow sip, and stared out at the water. “Ba’t di na lang siya sumabay?” she asked without looking.
“Hahatid naman daw siya ng daddy niya,” Stacey replied.
She just took another sip and went back to watching the waves, completely unbothered.
“Wag mong paiiyakin si Jhoanna ha.” Colet teased.
Before she could think of a comeback, Jhoanna suddenly shaded her eyes and pointed toward the road.
“Hoy—parang si Maloi yun ah?”
Stacey’s entire body went stiff.
“Ha? San?” she said too fast.
“Yung may tote bag.”
Maloi walked down from the parking area, one hand holding her slippers, the other carrying a small eco bag that probably had nothing but sunscreen and biscuits inside. Her hair was tied up high, a few strands loose around her face from the humidity. She wore an oversized shirt and shorts.
She spotted them and waved. “Hi!” she called out.
“Hi,” Stacey echoed. Behind her, Gwen teased, “Kalma ka lang, te.”
“Kalma naman ako ah,” Stacey hissed, fixing her hair again.
Maloi crouched down on the mat, a little breathless. “Sorry, late. Traffic pa sa palengke.”
“Okay lang!” Stacey said too loud. Everyone looked at her. “…okay lang,” she repeated, in a normal volume this time. Maloi laughed softly. “Grabe, aga niyo ah.”
“Libre kasi parking pag maaga,” Sheena said, flipping the fish.
Maloi set her bag down and greeted everyone one by one, smiling.
“Hi Gwen.”
“Yo.”
“Sheena, sarap ng niluluto mo ah.”
“Syempre.”
“Aiah, antok ka pa?”
“SUPER.”
Then she looked at Colet.
“Hi, third wheel,” she teased.
Colet lifted her beer slightly in greeting. “Yo.”
Then Maloi turned back to Stacey.
“Ang init ’no?” she said, stepping a little closer. Close enough that Stacey could smell her.
“Ang bango mo.”
“Ha?” Maloi laughed.
“Wala.”
Maloi bumped her shoulder lightly. “Tara, tulong tayo mag-ayos ng food.”
“Sige!”
From the side, Colet watched them pass. She took another sip of beer, then calmly moved her foot so Stacey wouldn’t accidentally step on the cooler.
—
By noon, the sun had turned mean. The mat was already dusted with sand. No one bothered shaking it off anymore. The grill had migrated closer to the shade, leaving a dark, greasy patch in the sand.
“Ubos na yung beer,” Gwen announced, peering into the cooler. “Ha? Kakabili lang natin ah,” Aiah said.
“Anim lang binili niyo eh.”
“Ubos na agad?”
“Bilis kasi ng ikot mo, Aiah.”
“Hindi na ko bibili,” Mikha muttered from the mat without opening her eyes. “Ako nag-abono kanina.”
“Sa fifth round na ako!” Stacey said.
“Ay sus tapos di mo na magagawa kasi lasing na lahat!” Sheena shot back, picking up a piece of liempo that fell. She blew on it and tossed it in her mouth. They all stared at her. “Ano?” she defended, “wala pang five seconds.”
“SHEENA,” Stacey yelled, gagging. “May buhangin yun!”
“Eat germs sometimes,” Sheena said, completely unfazed.
No one had the energy to argue after that. They just sent Jhoanna and Gwen to the sari-sari store down the road with a crumpled hundred and strict instructions not to come back with more snacks. They came back with snacks anyway.
—
The heat got to everyone eventually. After lunch, everything slowed down. Mikha and Aiah ended up side by side on the mat, both insisting they were just resting their eyes. Ten minutes later, they were fully unconscious. At some point, without either of them noticing, Aiah had rolled over. Half her body draped over Mikha’s arm. Accidentally cuddling. No one woke them up.
Near the water, Gwen was trying to build a sandcastle. She dug trenches, packed wet sand with both hands, and used an empty San Mig can to shape the towers. For a full five minutes, it actually looked impressive. Then one small wave crawled forward and erased half of it. “Ay ngi.” She pouted, then started again.
A few feet away, Stacey and Maloi had drifted toward the shoreline without really meaning to. They weren’t doing anything special. Just standing there, slippers dangling from their fingers, letting the water wash over their feet. Talking about everything and nothing.
About how Maloi used to be scared of jellyfish as a kid. About Stacey’s embarrassing high school haircut. About which subject they both hated. About whether taho tasted better in the morning or at night. Every topic lasted two minutes before dissolving into laughter and jumping to something else.
Back under the shade, Jhoanna sat beside Colet with a beer and the worst possible angle of the beach. Direct line of sight. “Tang ina,” Jhoanna muttered, squinting. “Ang sakit naman ng view ko.” Colet followed her gaze and laughed.
“Wag ka tumingin,” she said.
“Pano ko di titingnan, andun sila eh!”
“Edi pumikit ka.”
“Gago ka talaga.”
Jhoanna groaned and flopped backward onto the sand, arm over her eyes. Colet just kept laughing to herself, shaking her head, finishing her beer.
When Mikha finally stirred, she blinked up at the sky, confused, then froze. “Uy parang miss ata ako nito.” Aiah opened one eye. They both shot upright. “Kadiri!” Aiah yelled, pushing hair off her face. “Lumayo ka nga!”
“Hindi ako yung gumalaw!”
Gwen just looked at them with disgust. “Shot na ulit! Daming commercial break!” Sheena yelled.
“Tawagin ko sila Stacey,” Mikha offered, running away as fast as she could.
—
By the time the sun finally gave up, the beach looked like a completely different place. The waves sounded louder at night somehow. Sheena dragged the leftover charcoal and driftwood into a messy pile. After three failed attempts and a lot of aggressive blowing, there was finally fire.
They placed their dirty clothes into a loose circle around it, knees almost touching, shadows stretching and folding over each other in the sand. Everything smelled of smoke and salt and cheap beer.
Stacey dropped down between Colet and Maloi without really thinking about it. There was space there. So she sat. Her shoulder brushed Colet’s sleeve on one side. Maloi’s knee bumped hers on the other. The world tilted a little when she leaned back.
“Lasing ka na?” Colet asked.
“Hindi,” Stacey said immediately. “Ikaw?”
“Hindi rin.”
Stacey snorted softly and took another slow sip of beer. Colet just kept her eyes on the fire, the flames reflecting in her glasses.
Across the circle, Jhoanna was pretending very hard not to look in Stacey and Maloi’s direction. Every time Maloi laughed, her head automatically turned like a reflex. Gwen hit the back of her head.
“Aray!”
“San ka nakatingin?” Gwen asked, accusing.
“Sa—”
“Wag na mag-sinungaling. Kitang-kita ka dito.”
“Concerned lang ako!”
“Giatay ka.” Gwen mocked.
On the other side, Mikha and Aiah were sharing one towel. They’d started talking about something random and at some point their knees had touched. Every time one of them laughed, they leaned closer without noticing. Closer and closer until their foreheads were almost bumping.
“Pst.” Sheena leaned over and tapped Jhoanna’s shoulder without taking her eyes off them.
“Paghiwalayin mo nga yang dalawa.”
“Ha?”
“Baka mag-ano pa yan.”
“Tsk. Hindi yan.”
“SIGE NA!”
“Putangina bakit ako.”
“Malapit ka eh!”
Jhoanna groaned, shoving herself between Mikha and Aiah. “Excuse me lang,” she said.
“Jho!!!” Mikha complained.
“Parang paganon na kayo eh,” Jhoanna teased, making inappropriate gestures with her fingers.
“Ulol.” Aiah said, passing around another glass.
The beer got warm faster at night, but it didn’t matter. They were past the point of drinking for the taste anyway. Everything was just slightly fuzzy now. Gwen found an empty bottle and stuck it upright into the sand. “Truth or dare,” she announced, already grinning.
“Booooo,” Mikha complained, scooting closer anyway. The circle tightened, their knees bumped and their shoulders pressed together.
Gwen spun the bottle.
It scraped against the sand with a dry, gritty sound before slowing, slowing—then pointing at Sheena.
“Truth,” Sheena said immediately.
“Ninakaw mo yung perfume ko no?” Aiah asked.
“Putangina mo,” Sheena replied.
“...OO.”
“Klepto ka talagang gago ka!”
They kept going, round after round. Dumb dares and harmless confessions. Gwen was forced to chug the last of the warm beer. Sheena was dared to call her ex and hang up immediately.
Stacey had stopped keeping track of time. Her shoulder was still brushing Colet’s on one side, Maloi’s knee warm against hers on the other. Every time someone leaned forward to spin the bottle, their thighs knocked together and nobody bothered moving away anymore.
“Spin mo ulit,” Gwen said.
The bottle went around again. Slowlyyyy.
Then it wobbled…
Then stopped.
Pointing straight at Colet.
“SARAP OH,” Mikha yelled.
Colet didn’t even react at first. She just blinked at the bottle and laughed. “Pass,” she said.
“Walang pass!” Sheena shouted. “Dare!” Mikha added immediately, grinning. “Dare agad.”
Colet sighed, “Ge.”
Mikha leaned forward, grinning. “Kiss the funniest person in the group.”
“AY PUTA,” Gwen barked out laughing, already scooting closer on her knees and puckering her lips. “Ako na ’to! Halika!”
“Hindi,” Jhoanna said, pushing her away. “Ako yan. Tawang-tawa yan sakin lagi.”
“Ulol,” Gwen snapped. “Ako kaya nagpapatawa dito.”
Sheena and Aiah started slapping the sand like kids watching a boxing match.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
Even Mikha joined in, clapping. “Bilisan mo na, Colet.”
Maloi watched with her chin propped on her hand, amused, waiting for the punchline.
Stacey laughed too, shaking her head. “Ang tagal,” she teased. Colet just kept laughing under her breath, rubbing her face, regretting everything.
“Ang ingay niyo,” she said. “Kiss mo na ako!” Gwen demanded, still puckered. “Hurt na ko dito!”
The chanting got louder.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss—”
And then—
Colet moved.
She leaned forward, reached out, and grabbed Stacey by the back of the neck. Everything spun faster as she pulled her in. And then their mouths met.
Colet kissed her once. Stacey kissed back twice.
Her body moved before her brain could.
It lasted maybe two seconds. Maybe less. But the second they pulled apart, the chanting died. No one laughed. No one said anything. They just stared. Because it wasn’t funny. It didn’t look like a joke kiss.
It looked….
Like they were wrong about Stacey and Colet having no chemistry at all.
Colet leaned back into her seat like nothing happened, reaching for her beer again.
“Okay na?” she said.
Stacey blinked, clearing her throat. “Shit ako talaga pinaka funny dito.”
Mikha started biting her nails, nudging Gwen to say or do something. Anything. Jhoanna leaned closer to Sheena. “Pwede namang sa cheek lang yung kiss diba?” She whispered. Sheena elbowed her.
Maloi bit her lip, forcing a smile. She looked around, gauging everyone else’s reactions. “I agree!”
—
An hour after Aiah confiscated the last bottle, declaring, “tapos na, matulog na kayo,” the beach had gone soft and quiet.
Most of them had already been knocked out in their tents or hammocks or mats. Gwen was snoring. Sheena curled around the cooler. Mikha and Aiah somehow got tangled together again despite earlier protests.
Colet spotted Stacey by the shoreline. Standing where the water kept reaching her toes and retreating again, wrapped in a thin blanket. She wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Just straight ahead. Listening to the waves. Every now and then the cold water slid over her feet and she didn’t even flinch. She was trying to sober herself up the hard way.
Colet stayed where she was for a second, just watching. Then she walked over slowly, hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt, kicking at the sand with her slippers.
“Stace…”
Stacey didn’t turn. “Ano yun?”
“Ha?”
“Ba’t mo ginawa yun?”
Colet stopped beside her. Close enough that their shoulders almost touched.
She glanced at Stacey’s face, but Stacey kept staring straight ahead at the black water.
Colet let out a small, awkward chuckle. “Dare lang eh,” she said, hoping it explained everything.
Stacey finally turned. Her eyes were darker at night. Harder to read. “Ba’t mo ginawa yun?” she repeated.
Colet scratched the back of her neck. “Dare nga lang.”
Stacey took one step forward. Close enough that Colet could feel her breath.
“Ba’t mo ginawa yun?” The third time didn’t sound like a question anymore.
Colet sighed and tilted her head.
The moon and the single lamppost near the cottages caught Stacey’s face just right. Her hair was messy from the wind. “Stace…” Colet tried. She clicked her tongue. "Kailangan ko pa ba talagang sabihin?"
“Tang ina, Colet. Kailan pa?”
“Stace—”
“Ba’t di mo na lang sinabi dati?”
“Stace…”
“Stace, stace, stace!” Stacey snapped, voice cracking. “Utang na loob, use your words!”
The waves crashed behind them. Colet stared at the sand. Then at the water. Then back at Stacey. “…ewan,” she whispered.
“Ayan ka na naman eh!” Her hands flew up in frustration. Stacey dragged her fingers through her hair as if she wanted to pull something out of her head.
“Fine,” she said, breathing hard. “Tumango ka na lang. Oo or hindi. Simple.”
Colet didn’t move.
“Gusto mo ba ako?”
The question was stupidly simple. Childish, even. Yes or no. Colet closed her eyes.
Then, she nodded once. Slowly.
Stacey exhaled like she’d been holding her breath for hours. “Bakit parang wala kang reaction kay Maloi?” she asked, softer now. Almost pleading. “Parang wala ka namang pake.”
“Ba’t ko naman ipapahalata?” Colet said quietly.
Stacey let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “Sus. Ang sabihin mo. Duwag ka lang.”
“Stace…”
“Duwag!”
“Stace…”
“Duwag ka!!”
“Stace…”
“Duwag!!!!!!”
“Okay! Edi duwag na kung duwag!”
“DUWAG TALAGA!” Stacey shot back. “KASI KUNG GUSTO MO TALAGA, DI MO IPAMIMIGAY! AANGKININ MO!”
“BAKIT?!” Colet snapped, stepping closer now. “KUNG SINABI KO BANG MAHAL KITA NOON, SASABIHIN MO SA’KIN NA ‘I LOVE YOU TOO’?!”
“OO!”
Colet froze.
“SYEMPRE!!!”
Colet wasn’t arguing anymore.
“MALAMANG!!!” Stacey added, almost angry now.
Their breaths came out unevenly. Colet was just standing there. Staring at her. She’d never even considered that answer. It hadn’t occurred to her that maybe—just maybe—it could’ve been that easy.
Colet could still feel her heart banging too fast, too loud. Stacey kept swallowing like there was something stuck in her throat. Everything that needed to be said had already been said. And somehow it still didn’t feel like enough.
Minutes passed. Or maybe seconds. It was hard to tell.
Then, Stacey started laughing…and crying. Her heart couldn’t choose which emotion to stick with. She covered her face with one hand and started laughing into her palm, shoulders shaking.
“Putang ina talaga,” she sniffed.
Colet huffed out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh too.
Stacey wiped her eyes aggressively with the heel of her hand. “Ba’t di mo sinabi agad?” she asked.
Colet didn’t even hesitate. “Ikaw, ba’t di mo sinabi agad?”
Stacey stared at the sand between her feet.“…ewan ko.”
“Ewan ko rin.”
They both let out the same quiet, defeated laugh.
“Matulog ka na, Colet,” Stacey muttered after a while, rubbing her face again.
“Ikaw muna.”
“Hindi, ikaw muna.”
“Ikaw na una, Stace.”
“Sige na, ikaw na.”
“No, ikaw na.”
Stacey finally turned, taking one step back toward the cottages. The sand shifted under her feet. She didn’t look back. But before she could take another step, Colet moved.
She reached out and grabbed Stacey’s wrist. Just firm enough to stop her and pull her closer. Stacey stumbled back and turned with the motion, and suddenly she was there, colliding into Colet’s chest. Her face landed in the crook of Colet’s neck.
For a second they both froze. Then Colet’s arms came up around her. One hand sliding to the back of Stacey’s head, fingers tangling gently in her hair. The other wrapped around her waist. Stacey hugged back just as hard, her hands fisted into Colet’s shirt. Trying very, very hard not to cry louder.
Colet pressed her cheek against Stacey’s hair and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m so sorry. Ayoko lang masira friendship natin.”
Stacey nodded against her. Barely. They stayed like that for a few seconds more. Maybe even longer. Then Stacey slowly pulled away. She stepped back, biting her lip hard.
“Okay,” she said. “Good night.”
Colet opened her mouth like she wanted to say something else, but she didn’t. “Good night.”
Stacey turned and walked back toward their friends, blanket dragging in the sand behind her. Colet stayed where she was, watching her go.
—
Morning didn’t feel like morning so much as punishment.
The sun was already high when Stacey opened her eyes. She didn’t remember falling asleep. Now her head throbbed, her mouth tasted like metal, and her chest felt weirdly shitty for reasons that had nothing to do with alcohol. She didn’t want to think about last night. Except it was the only thing her brain kept replaying. The firelight. The kiss. The nod. The hug. The kiss.
Putangina.
She sat up too fast and immediately regretted it.
Around her, the others were slowly resurfacing. Gwen was brushing her teeth with a bottled water and spitting aggressively into the sand. Sheena crouched beside the cooler, squinting at the melted ice. Mikha lay face-down on the mat, completely motionless, one arm flung over her eyes. Aiah sat beside her, sipping lukewarm Coke from a plastic cup.
Nobody looked human yet. Nobody wanted to talk. Which was good. Talking felt impossible.
Stacey didn’t even bother pretending to join them. She grabbed the nearest thing that could function as a seat and climbed on top of it, sunglasses on, arms crossed. From a distance, she probably looked annoyed. Or angry. Or just really hungover. All of which were easier explanations than the truth.
She hadn’t eaten. She didn’t want to. The smell of fish and oil made her stomach twist. She just stared straight ahead at the water, letting the noise of the waves drown out her thoughts.
Maloi had already left early, before most of them woke up. Good. Thank God.
Because if she’d had to see Maloi this morning—smile at her, talk normally, act like nothing had changed—she might have actually died on the spot. She wasn’t built for that kind of multitasking.
Colet was packing up. Just because she kept finding small, unnecessary tasks to stretch it out. She shook sand out of empty bottles one by one before putting them into a plastic bag. Wiped their mats once, twice, thrice. Anything that kept her hands busy. Anything that let her look occupied. Anything that meant she didn’t have to sit still and accidentally look in Stacey’s direction.
The rest of the girls noticed, but nobody wanted to be the first to say anything. So they overcompensated. They talked too loudly about nothing. “Grabe hangover ko,” Gwen complained, squinting at the sky.
“Ako rin,” Sheena muttered. “Parang may nag-drill sa ulo ko.”
“May tubig pa ba?” Aiah asked.
“Wala na. Tubig-alat na lang,” Jhoanna said, then immediately made a face at her own joke.
They even passed around the last few bottles of warm beer, taking tiny sips. “Sayang kasi,” Sheena insisted.
“Di ko na kayaaa,” Gwen said, but she drank anyway. It was all very loud. And very forced. And very obviously not about what they actually wanted to talk about.
At one point, Colet walked over to grab the duct tape from the cooler. She stopped just short of Stacey, close enough that Stacey could smell smoke on her shirt. For a second, neither of them moved.
“Paabot ng tape,” Colet said finally.
“Okay.” Stacey handed it over without lifting her head. Their fingers brushed. But both of them pulled back immediately.
“Salamat.”
“Okay.”
—
Two weeks.
Nothing had technically changed. That was the lie they were all quietly agreeing to.
They were crammed into Gwen’s living room. The curtains were half-drawn against the heat. The TV was on, volume too loud, tuned to whatever afternoon movie happened to be playing in Cinema one. Nobody was really watching.
Shoes were piled by the door. There was a plastic table in the middle with half-eaten pancit canton, a box of Dunkin’ Donuts down to crumbs, and several sweating bottles of RC Cola.
Stacey sat on the floor, back against the couch, legs stretched out. She’d been there for an hour and had not once looked directly to her left.
Colet sat on the other end of the couch, knees pulled up, arms loosely wrapped around them. She’d claimed that spot immediately when they arrived, like muscle memory. Or maybe like strategy. Between them, Gwen and Mikha were sprawled.
“Uy may HBO kayo?” Mikha said, kicking the edge of the table. “Baduy ng movie.”
“Arte mo,” Gwen replied, but she grabbed the remote anyway. “Ito na oh.”
Aiah was braiding and unbraiding Sheena’s hair with idle concentration. Jhoanna sat cross-legged on the floor, flipping through a battered song book.
Every so often, the fan would oscillate just right and blow cool air across the room. When it passed between Stacey and Colet, it carried small, stupid details—the smell of downy, lotion, sweat. Stacey focused very hard on the label of her soda bottle.
“Uy Stacey,” Jhoanna said suddenly, looking up. “Alam mo ba ‘tong kanta?”
Stacey flinched, then looked over. “Ha? Ah—alin?”
She scooted closer, peering at the page. Colet’s eyes flicked over instinctively, then away.
“Hindi,” Stacey said after a beat. “Pero parang narinig ko na sa radyo.”
“Diba?” Jhoanna nodded. “Laging pinapatugtog sa bus.”
“Yung tatay ko, inuulit-ulit yan,” Sheena added. “Nakakabaliw.”
Colet reached for a donut without looking and came up empty. She froze for half a second, hand hovering. “Wala na,” Gwen said. “Sorry.”
“Ay,” Colet smiled anyway. She leaned back, eyes drifting toward the floor. She saw Stacey steal a glance from her periphery.
But they didn't acknowledge each other still.
Four weeks.
Stacey was decent at billiards. Not great, but decent enough to look like she knew what she was doing. Which was dangerous, because it meant bending. A lot.
“Okay, wait,” Stacey said, chalking her cue. “If I sink this, libre mo ako mamaya.”
“Wow, kapal,” Aiah snorted. “Sige. Pero pag hindi—”
Stacey leaned over the table, lining up her shot. She narrowed her eyes, focused. Shot. The ball rolled cleanly into the corner. “Yes,” she cheered, straightening up.
“Daya,” Aiah said. “Ulit.”
The door opened behind them, bell jingling softly.
Stacey didn’t turn right away, but she felt it—hat subtle shift in her breath. “Uy,” Mikha’s said. “May laro pala.”
Sheena followed her in, already laughing about something. And then, Colet walked in. She walked in last, hands in her pockets, eyes scanning the place before settling on the billiards table.
“Kala ko ba busy kayo,” Aiah said, waving. “Game?”
“Later,” Sheena said. “Nood lang kami.”
Mikha hopped onto a nearby stool. “Talunin mo nga yan si Aiah.”
“Hoy,” Aiah protested. “Kanino ka kampi?”
Colet lingered near the wall, pretending to read the chalkboard menu. Beer. Sisig. Pulutan. Same stuff that had been there for years. She nodded to herself.
But she looked when Stacey bent over. The slope of Stacey’s lower back, the way her shirt pulled up, the way she bit her lip slightly when she concentrated.
Colet looked away immediately. She swallowed, shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, and focused very hard on not looking again. It didn’t work.
Across the table, Stacey sank another ball. She straightened, twirling the cue once, then paused. She felt it now. That familiar heat. That awareness.
When she bent over for the next shot, she shifted just enough to look sideways. And there was Colet. Trying very hard not to look and visibly failing. Their eyes met just for a second.
Colet’s breath caught. Stacey missed her shot.
“Hay salamat,” Aiah said. “Buti na lang distracted.”
“Tanga,” Stacey rolled her eyes, standing up too fast.
Colet looked away first this time, but her ears were burning. She pretended to laugh at something Mikha said, nodding along even though she hadn’t heard a word.
Six weeks.
Colet was riding the train, standing, trying to balance herself in the crowd. Her headphones were on, playing her brother’s Enrique Iglesias CD inside her Walkman. One hand gripped the cold metal railing above her head, the other pressed her bag tight against her side.
The train lurched, then slowed. Doors opened. More people poured in. “Pasok pa, pasok pa.”
The space shrank. Bodies pressed closer. Colet shifted her feet, inching forward with the rest of the crowd, adjusting her grip as elbows and shoulders brushed past her. She barely had room to breathe now.
Another stop. Another shove. Another song.
Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?
Then she bumped into someone. The scent hit her first. So familiar even her clogged nose could recognize it. Like dewdrops after a storm. That anti-dandruff shampoo she could identify anywhere, whether she wanted to or not. That shoulder slope she’d tried not to stare at way too many times.
Stacey.
Her back was pressed to Colet’s front, completely oblivious, one arm raised to hold the railing, the other steadying herself as the train jerked forward again. Colet froze. There was nowhere to move.
The train lurched. Stacey shifted back without meaning to, and Colet’s nose brushed lightly against Stacey’s hair. Once. Twice.
Colet swallowed.
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
She adjusted her stance, just enough to make it look accidental, just enough to stay. Each time the train rocked, Stacey’s hair tickled her cheek, her temple, the tip of her nose. Colet breathed in slowly, carefully.
She inhaled. Sweet and minty and something that was just… Stacey.
She kept her face neutral, kept her eyes down. Just like everyone else packed into the space. Like this meant nothing. Like her heart wasn’t trying to beat its way out of her chest.
I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
No one noticed. Or if they did, they didn’t care. It was a train. This was normal.
But Colet knew better.
She counted the stops in her head. She told herself not to move, not to react, not to do something stupid like close her eyes.
The train jolted again, harder this time. Stacey’s hand tightened on the railing. Her back pressed in fully, and Colet felt the curve of her spine. She closed her eyes.
I will stand by you forever
And just for a second, she let herself lean in—barely an inch. Maybe Less.
Then another inhale.
You can take my breath away
She straightened again, heart racing, pretending she was just another passenger trying to get through the ride.
Six weeks, and this was what it had come to. Standing still. Refusing to exhale. Hoping the train wouldn’t stop too soon.
The train stopped again.
Colet felt Stacey shifting her weight, angling her body toward the doors as they slid open with a screech. The pressure eased. Space appeared where there hadn’t been any.
Stacey moved forward. Colet reacted too late.
She inched back, not caring when she stepped down hard on someone’s foot. A sharp “aray” followed, but she didn’t stop. Stacey was already halfway out, then she was gone—swallowed by the platform, the crowd, the morning.
Colet surged forward.
“Excuse me. Sorry. Dadaan lang.”
She threaded herself through bodies, slipping past a shoulder, ducking under an arm. She could see daylight now, the edge of the door, Stacey’s bag disappearing—
And then more people got in.
A sudden wall of bodies pushed back against her. The doors hesitated. Someone shoved from behind. Colet stumbled a step back.
“Wait—excuse!”
The doors slid shut.
She stared at the window, hands useless at her sides. Outside, the platform blurred with movement. She searched. Stacey stood at the platform, cracking her neck. Colet kept looking. Hoping. Praying.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
And like a fucking miracle, Stacey turned.
Their eyes met through the glass. It was brief enough to hurt, brief enough to cure.
Colet opened her mouth. Stacey smiled, surprised. Relief rushed through Colet so hard it almost made her dizzy. Then the train jerked and started to move.
She watched Stacey open her mouth, too. Say something she couldn’t hear. Then Stacey hesitated. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Colet exhaled, shaky, laughing under her breath despite everything. Okay. Itetext niya ako.
Then—
Maloi appeared. Her hand tapped Stacey’s shoulder. Stacey turned, softening in a way that felt like a punch to the ribs. Maloi said something Colet couldn’t hear. Stacey laughed. The train picked up speed. The platform slid away.
Everything blurred. Faces, colors, the reflection of her own stunned expression in the glass. Stacey got smaller, then indistinct, then gone.
Oh, I just wanna hold you
I just wanna hold you—
Then she clicked pause on her walkman. Fuck you, Enrique Iglesias.
Eight weeks.
Colet rolled onto her side and crawled to her computer, booting it up out of habit more than hope. Yahoo Messenger loaded.
Same old jokes in the group chat. Gwen spamming emoticons. Mikha typing in all caps. Sheena sending a stupid link that probably wouldn’t open anyway. Colet scrolled up, past the noise, back to older messages— some short exchanges with Stacey.
sabi mo libre mo ako :(
pst. pasaload pls
oy asan nick carter cd ko
She stared at the screen until the words stopped meaning anything.
After a while, she stood and walked to the landline in the hallway. The phone was cool under her fingers. She dialed the first few numbers without thinking. Her finger hovered over the last digit before she gave up completely.
She imagined Stacey’s voice on the other end. Sleepy. Confused. So so warm. And incredibly sweet. Colet let out a quiet breath and placed the handset back on its cradle.
Wag na.
She leaned her forehead briefly against the wall, closing her eyes.
Stacey was right. Duwag nga siya.
—
“Colet!” Her mother called. “Ipahanda mo na yung sasakyan ha. Malapit na matapos ang vigil.”
“Ma, wait lang,” Colet called back, forcing her voice steady. “Tapusin ko lang ’tong make-up ng isa. Alas onse daw nila ipapa-display.”
The morgue was cold. Colet opened the makeup bag and rummaged through it with practiced hands. Too much red. Too much pink. Colors meant for living mouths. For laughter. For warmth.
She paused, then found one lone tube of peach lipstick, the label half-rubbed off. Neutral and gentle. Close enough to what the person might have worn on a normal day.
She leaned in, careful, respectful. The body lay still beneath the white sheet, face already cleaned, features calm in a way that felt unfair. Colet applied the lipstick slowly, following the natural shape of the lips. Just enough color to make it look like rest.
She capped the lipstick and stepped back, assessing. She adjusted slightly, then blotted with a tissue. She nodded once. “Okay,” she murmured, “ganda ka na ma’am.”
She moved on to the clothes next, lifting the sheet just enough to check. The dress was neat, freshly pressed, the collar sitting a little crooked. She fixed it, smoothing the fabric flat against a chest that would never rise again. Small things. Final acts of kindness
When she was done, she stood there for a moment longer than necessary, then she exhaled and reached for the sheet.
“Ma,” she called out again, softer this time. “Tapos na.”
Before she could take another step out the door, she froze.
Stacey was there.
Standing just outside the morgue, cheeks flushed and red and panicked in a way that had nothing to do with the dead bodies behind Colet. She looked small somehow—arms folded tight around herself, breathing uneven, already crying.
“Stace?” Colet said, a little surprised, way too concerned.
Stacey sniffed hard. “Ano,” she said, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “Di mo na talaga ako kakausapin?”
Colet took a step forward without thinking. “Stace—”
“Ano?” Stacey snapped, then immediately sniffed again. “Ano?!”
“Stace… sorry—”
“Colet! Bilis na!” her mother called again, impatient.
“Shit,” Colet muttered under her breath. She stepped closer, hands half-raised, helpless. “Sorry, sorry. May ihahatid lang akong patay. Wala kasi si Kuya Peter ngayon eh.” She paused, then blurted, “Gusto mo sumama?”
Stacey stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “Seryoso ka ba?” She smacked Colet’s arm. “Iniiyakan ka na nga, ginagago mo pa!”
“Seryoso nga kasi,” Colet said, and this time she reached out, fingers closing gently around Stacey’s shoulder. “Sama ka lang, okay? Mag-uusap tayo. Kakausapin kita.”
Stacey searched her face, breathing unevenly. “Promise?” she asked quietly. “As in totoong words ha. Hindi puro ‘Stacey’ at ‘ewan’ lang.”
Colet huffed a short, nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. “Promise.”
“NICOLETTE!!! ISA!!!”
Colet winced. “Puta—” She cut herself off, then grabbed Stacey’s wrist. “Tara. Bago pa ako itakwil.”
—
Stacey sat beside Colet in the hearse.
On her other side, the dead woman’s husband wept quietly, shoulders caving in on themselves as he hugged the framed photograph to his chest. His tissue was already too wet to be useful. He kept wiping his face anyway.
Stacey shifted, inching closer to Colet one careful movement at a time, like she wasn’t sure she was allowed to. Colet didn’t react, she kept her eyes fixed on the road, kept her hands steady on the wheel.
Glenn Frey’s Lover’s Moon played softly through the speakers. It had been the husband’s request. He sang along under his breath, tears slipping down his cheeks unchecked. No one stopped him.
Colet and Stacey stayed quiet. They had to anyway.
After a while, Colet cleared her throat. Without looking away from the road, she leaned just slightly toward Stacey, enough for her hair to brush Stacey’s cheek.
“Pa’no si Maloi?” she whispered.
Stacey bit her lip, fighting a grin. “Mamaya na,” she whispered back. “Basta wala ka nang kaagaw. Period.”
“Okay,” Colet said, smiling despite herself, biting into her cheek like she always did when she was trying not to. “Salamat.”
“You’re welcome.”
The car kept moving. The road stretched out ahead, the sun glared against the windshield. The man continued singing, crying.
Stacey didn’t say anything else.
Slowly, she leaned her head against Colet’s shoulder. Just enough to feel her there. She set her hand on Colet’s lap, initially hesitant, then squeezed once when she was sure Colet wouldn’t flinch.
The song kept playing.
I know she’s waiting
I know she waits for me
Colet exhaled. She smiled. And she kept driving anyway.
Under the lover’s moon.