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Buck and Eddie had a little routine of sorts. If they had a 48 off, and it happened to fall on a Saturday, they would have a movie night
These were one of Bucks' favorite things in the world, being surrounded by his two favorite people in the world (besides Maddie, of course)
The nights would often end with him asleep on his best friend's couch, squished between an eight-year-old and the back of the couch
Though Eddie would never admit it, there was a folder on his phone full of pictures he took when he slipped off the couch to go to bed
This night was no different, it started as usual, Chris sat between the two, the TV playing some Disney movie that Chris had picked, a forgotten box of pizza and plates scattered on the coffee table
Chris had started drifting barely 20 minutes in, which led to him currently sprawled across the couch with his head in Bucks’ lap and his legs across Eddie’s
Bucks’ hands had been absent-mindedly running through the boy's hair, which Eddie couldn’t help but crack a smile at
“Man, sometimes I think he loves you more than me.”
“Oh, please,” Buck’s eyes shift from the movie, which he got very invested in. “You will always be his favorite, though I do give the best cuddles.”
“Ahh, is that it?” Eddie feels a warmth creeping over him as he realizes how much he wants, needs, nights like this, where he's with his two favorite boys, where he feels at home.
“I don’t know how he can sleep on this couch, though; it's the most uncomfortable thing in the world.”
“You know you don't have to sleep here, he’s a big boy, he’ll understand if you don't give him the ‘best cuddles in the world” Eddie might have exaggerated those last words a little
“You're just jealous,” Buck playfully rolls his eyes as they flick down to where Chris has his hands wrapped up in the base of his hoodie, holding Buck down, as if he would ever leave him.
“Please, I get to sleep in a comfortable bed all night, while Chris has to deal with your snoring, and this stiff couch.” Buck's mouth curves into a grin that makes Eddie’s cheeks grow a little red.
The two sat there for just a moment, their eyes never shifting off one another. To most, this would look normal, but to Buck, it spoke volumes
Eddie's eyes widened as he realized what he had just said
“And here I thought you were jealous that I was getting Chris.” Eddie's stomach dropped; it shouldn’t have, it was just Buck
His best friend
But for some reason, in this very moment, the room felt charged
He felt exposed, like Buck had just figured him out; he could feel that he was staring at him, that he was reading his every thought
And it terrified him
Eddie opened his mouth and tried to come up with a reason enough to why he was jealous that his eight-year-old son got to cuddle with his best friend, but he couldn’t.
“Ed’s it's okay, I get it, I’m just that desirable to sleep with.”
“Okay, let's not let this get to your head, Buckley.” He tried to keep being as light-hearted as he could, but he couldn’t think with Buck staring at him like that, “You know that's not what I meant.”
But it was, all the photos he took and never would it be him wrapped up in Bucks' arms
Bucks’ grin grew wider, “For sure, Eddie, you totally didn’t mean it, and you definitely don't want to be Chris right now.” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, but Buck knew he knew everything he was thinking.
“Oh, come on, that’s not true. I was simply stating that you aren’t exactly the most ‘desirable’ person to be sleeping next to.”
“And you are Edmundo?” What the hell had become of Eddie's life? How had he ended up on his couch with his child lying across him and his best friend as Buck flirted with him??
“Never had any complaints.” If Buck could flirt, why couldn’t Eddie? Friends do this all the time
Just as Buck started to say something, Chris started to stir awake in his lap. “Mm, can we go to bed? You're too loud,” Chris said as he tried, and failed, to rub the tiredness out of his eyes.
“Yeah, course, bud, let's go.” Buck had gone into dad mode, and something in Eddie’s stomach had fluttered
Eddie followed Buck as he carried their son to his room. As soon as Chris’s body touched his bed, he was out like a light
They both kissed the top of his head. Buck closed the door and shut off the light, and made his way back to the couch where he and Eddie had clearly just crossed some line they had previously drawn.
“Well, guess your cuddles aren’t that good, Buckley.” Eddie was sitting in the middle of the couch, leaving not enough room for Buck to sit anywhere without touching him.
“Shut up, you sabotaged me with all that talking.” he chose to sit down so his thigh pressed against Eddie's
“Mhm, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Eddie nudged his thigh with his own. Buck let out a breathy laugh, and it was left at that
They sat in a comfortable silence with the movie still playing in the back.
As the movie was finishing up, Eddie got up to pick up the mess they had left
“Do you want a beer?” Eddie innocently asked from the kitchen, but Buck couldn’t let the opportunity slip through his fingers
He lifted himself from the couch and walked up to find Eddie pulling out two beers from the fridge. “tryna get me drunk, Diaz?” he inched closer and was definitely closer to him than most people would deem platonic
Eddie was currently backed up against the counter where the beers were starting to warm up, but that was the furthest thing in his mind at the moment because in front of him was Evan Buckley.
He was so close he could feel the air from Buck's mouth on his, and it was intoxicating. Buck’s hand was on the counter next to Eddie's hip, and he had this look in his eyes, different from before but just as terrifying
“Why would I do that?” Eddie's head turned slightly, trying to be confident
“I don't know Ed’s, why would you?” That name drove Eddie crazy, there was something about it, the way it rolled off his tongue, the way it made Eddie’s heart skip a beat, the way it only sounded right coming from Buck’s mouth
Nothing about this conversation had come from a place of lust; no, this was them speaking softly and looking at each other with love in their eyes
Eddie could keep up this little charade they have going on right now, or he could choose to: “Maybe I’m hoping that I get to be Chris tonight.” he feels so small in this moment
his words were barely above a whisper but Buck let out a breath, that lets Eddie know there equally as nervous
“I don't need to be drunk for that, ” He moved his hand to grab Eddie’s. “You could've just asked.”
His thumb grazed over Buck’s pulse point. “Well, I’m asking now.”
Buck lit up like Eddie was the sun, and he had been locked inside for years
“I don’t think I can do that here.”
“Then let's go to bed,” he tugged at Buck’s hand, and Buck’s heart jumped in his chest. Never did he think he would be able to even entertain this idea.
Eddie didn’t drop his hand as they walked to his bedroom, “Do you want to use the bathroom first?” and with a small nod from Buck he was off to the bathroom going through his nightly routine, he had a toothbrush, face wash, and many pairs of clothes that he left here for nights just like this.
But this wasn't just any night. Usually, he would end up on the couch, sometimes with Chris, never in Eddie’s bed WITH him
“Bathroom’s all cle-” His sentence was cut off as he walked back into the room to see Eddie, wearing his LAFD hoodie, with the letters BUCKLEY across his back
“Buck? You okay?” Buck had been staring for god knows how long before Eddie spoke up and got him out of the trance he was in
“Yup, yeah, all good here.”
“You sure you’ve been staring at me for like a minute, we don't have to do this if you don't want to, I didn't mean to push you,” Eddie was too busy spiraling to realize that Buck had come up right next to him
“Ed’s that's not what this was about. I want this, I want you.”
“Buck, you don't have to lie, it's okay.”
Buck’s hands meet Eddie's face, “It's not that at all okay, I just-you look really good in my hoodie, though I have been looking for it for a while now.” Eddie's face became a deep shade of pink, and he couldn't help but smile at that
“Sorry, I forgot I even had the hoodie.”
“Really,” one of Buck's hands travels down to the cuff of Eddie's (his)hoodie, where there was a lot of fraying, “cause this looks like it gets slept in quite often.”
Eddie’s face only got redder at that. Once again, Buck was looking at him and reading everything he was thinking, “Well, maybe I slept in it once or twice.”
Buck cracks a smile at that, and only for a moment lets his mind run wild with the thought of Eddie in bed, wearing his hoodie
“Hurry up and get ready for bed, I’m exhausted,” Buck lied. He really just wanted to be in bed with the love of his life- his best friend, with whom he had been flirting.
“Aye, aye, captain.” Eddie made a quick exit to the bathroom, trying to conceal how happy he truly was right now, but it wasn’t working
Buck was left alone in Eddie’s room, which he was familiar with, but not enough to lie down in his bed or to do anything but simply stand
In the bathroom, Eddie was making quick work of getting ready, and once he was done, he had to stare at himself for a few minutes, trying to get his breathing under control and trying to make it less noticeable to how excited he was to be sleeping with his best friend
“What are you doing?” Eddie turned to see Buck standing in the doorway with his stupid grin on his face
“Oh, nothing, just- wait, what are you doing?”
“I was trying to see what was taking so long, I thought you chickened out.”
“Please, I think you're just a little impatient, Buckley.”
Buck reached out for Eddie's hand, just as Eddie had done a few minutes prior. “Let's go.”
Eddie trailed behind Buck as he walked them through the hallway and into HIS room
“That eager to get me into bed?”
“You know I am”
As they entered the room all the cockiness faded away, he was now staring at the bed where he would be sleeping with Eddie
“God,” Buck breathed out. “This is so stupid, I don't know why I’m so nervous.” Eddie turned to face him and reached out his hand to grab at Buck’s waist
“It's okay, it's just us.” His thumb runs circles over Buck’s hip. “There's no way in which you could mess this up.”
“Let's just get to bed, please.” Eddie maneuvered Buck to the left side of the bed and watched as he very hesitantly climbed into bed, and propped himself up against the headboard
“Do you want to put on a movie? It's barely even 10:00.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck grabs the remote to turn on the TV and scrolls through a catalog before deciding on some rated R action movie that neither of them really cared for
Eddie climbed into bed, mirroring Bucks’ position and leaning himself against the headboard. “So am I gonna get the full Chris experience?”
“If you still want it,” Buck shifted slightly so he was closer to the middle than he was near the edge, and he was turned with his chest towards Eddie
“I do,” too scared to say anymore, he waits for Buck to say or do something
Before he can spiral too much, Buck finally speaks up, “C’mere,” and he opens his arms, leaving a perfect amount of space for Eddie to crawl on him, and sprawl out across his chest
Eddie laid himself down so he could tuck his head into Buck's shoulder, worm his arm around Buck’s stomach, and have his leg draped across Buck’s hip. He let out a long sigh
“Comfortable?”
“Very,” he nuzzles his nose into Buck's neck as he feels all the anxiety he didn't even know he was feeling wash out of him. “We should've done this a while ago.”
Buck doesn’t say anything, he doesn't need to, he simply wraps his arms around Eddie with one hand reaching up to card through Eddie’s hair like he had done with Chris
Buck didn’t know how to describe the feeling in his chest, his heart felt like it had grown 5 sizes and was about to jump out of his chest
He tried to calm himself down and pay attention to the show, but it's too much, having Eddie like this, he feels so exposed, “Stop thinking so loud, Buck.” Eddie positioned his head so he could look him in the eye
“Sorry, I just- I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“Did I do something?” They both were terrified of doing something wrong and messing up the best friendships they’ve ever had
“No, god, Eddie, no, I’m just scared that I will do something that will make you uncomfortable.”
“Buck, there is nothing you could do that would make me uncomfortable,” Eddie lets his hand run across Buck's cheek and up to his birthmark. “I want everything with you.”
Buck’s breath hitched at that “Eddie,” his eyes had a sort of desperation to them. “I want you, I want that to”
“Kiss me.”
Buck did not need to be told twice, The angle was a little awkward, but still one of Buck’s best kisses by far
It's a chaste kiss, couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, they both hesitantly pulled away, knowing there was a conversation to be had. “Buck I- thank you?”
“Thank you?”
“I don't know what to say, there's no rule book for this stuff.” Buck laughs at that, he had just kissed his best friend, who was lying on top of him, and neither of them knew what to say or do.
“Eddie, it's okay, there's no need to stress, it's just us.”
“Maybe we should kiss again?”
Buck grinned up at Eddie and started to lean in, “Wait, wait, we can’t”
“Oh, sorry, I just thought-” Eddie’s mouth turned down into a frown, and you could see the concern wash across his face. “I didn’t mean to push it or anything,”
“Ed’s stop, I loved every bit of what just happened, I just want to do this right, I want to take you out on a real date, not just rush into this.”
Eddie's heart warmed at that, the idea of them at a candle-lit dinner, or them cuddled up next to each other watching a movie, which they were currently doing now. “Yeah?”
“Yes, Eddie, I want to do everything with you.” Eddie raised one of his eyebrows at that
“You already got me into bed.”
“Not what I meant, get your mind out of the gutter.”
Eddie hadn’t realized how big his smile had grown. “What are you thinking, Diaz?”
“I’m just really happy,” his hands have found their way to the back of Bucks' neck, “and I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or not.”
“You're not,” Buck leans in and kisses his forehead, “I would do anything to kiss you right now.”
“Later, ” the thought of them having a ‘later’ that is going to end in something more than platonic, leaves Eddie with a mind full of some very rated R activities
Nothing more is said throughout the night; they simply lie there and bask in the comfort of each other.
---------------------------------------------------
Eddie woke up to a face full of curls, usually this was Chris, but not today. Today he had found himself in bed with a very large 6 '2 man that managed to curl himself so small that Eddie could wrap both his arms around him and hold him close to his chest.
Buck moved his hands so that they covered Eddie’s
They fit.
Not just their hands
But everything
Their bodies
Their lips
Their lives
Buck turns in Eddie’s arms so he can look at him
“You look really beautiful when you sleep.” There are many words to be said, but right now, this is all that he needs to say. Eddie’s face flushed red at the comment
“You couldn’t even see me, you were asleep.”
“Not last night, you were like a koala.” Eddie’s face does the thing, the thing only Buck notices, where there is a wave of guilt, and only for a split second, his eyebrows furrow, “Ed’s it’s okay, it was cute.”
“Cute? Buck, I’m a grown man, I’m not cute.”
“I beg to differ,” he cups Eddie’s cheek and rubs his thumb under his eye, “I could get used to this, you know.”
“Could you?” Eddie was clearly leaning into Buck’s touch, “'cause I would very much like that.”
“But, I would also like some things to change.”
“Like…” Eddie's hands were around Buck, with Buck’s head pillowed on his bicep and one hand on his waist, rubbing circles and making its way lower onto Buck’s hip
“Like I want to be able to kiss you, and touch-” Buck was very rudely cut off by an 8-year-old barreling into the bubble they had created, and as much as they really, really, wanted to continue this conversation, no time with Chris is wasted.
“Buck! You stayed the night!”
“I did, just so I could see you in the morning,” he hoisted Chris up onto the bed and placed him so he was on top of both of them.
“Can we have pancakes?”
This might have been the happiest Buck had ever been; he was smushed into Eddie’s side, and with a boy he loves like his own sitting on top of him.
Eddie’s hand, though not on his waist, ran circles on top of his skin, and it was the best feeling in the world
“Yes, let's go to the kitchen while your dad tries to sleep a bit more,” Buck maneuvers his way off the bed, picking Chris up in the process. “Go right ahead, I’ll be right there, okay, bud?”
“Okay!”
Chris walks off buzzing with energy
Buck walks up to Eddie’s side of the bed and brushes his cheek like he had just done before,” Good morning, handsome.”
“You already said that.”
“Well, I’m saying it again,” and with that, Buck leans down to kiss his forehead and walks off to help their son before he can make too much of a mess
Eddie layed in bed, not to go to sleep but just to bask in the beautiful sounds of Buck and Chris making pancakes and what sounds like a huge mess. He was very much enjoying himself when he got a call from Hen.
“Chris!” he chose to ignore what the kitchen had become. “Guess who just got invited to a sleepover with Denny!”
“Hmm, is it me?”
“Yup!” Buck and him shared a look of knowing they were gonna have the house all to themselves tonight. “ She says you can go over whenever, so let me know when you want to go.”
“After pancakes?”
“After pancakes. Buck says he's gonna help you pack.”
They ate in a comfortable silence with the occasional ‘this is really good’ or ‘thanks, Buck’
Buck did end up helping Chris get packed and drove him, so Eddie could stay back and clean up the kitchen
“Thanks again, Hen.” Buck had only been allowed to walk Chris to the door because apparently it wasn’t cool to have him help him inside
“Anytime, Buckaroo.” There was no question to why Buck was with the DIaz’s that early in the morning, no question to why he dropped chris off, the was no need for it, everyone knew where there was a diaz there was Buck
If a few traffic laws were broken on his way home, to eddies home that was between buck and the LAPD, there were too many conversations to be had,
“Eds?” He walked in to hear music coming from the kitchen, and the sight of Eddie dancing around while cleaning up, he looked happy, like he was at peace.
Eddie was too focused on dancing to hear buck come in, but when Buck came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, it certainly snapped him out of it. “Mm, missed you.”
“I wasn’t gone that long.” Buck kissed the back of his neck and down onto his shoulder. “You’re still okay with this?”
“As long as you are, I told you I want this, I want everything with you.” Eddie probably should’ve moved, but he didn’t want to
“Good, cause I want to take you on a date tonight.”
Okay, that made him turn; he had to look Buck in the eyes, he missed those eyes, he missed how blue they were, and how special they made him feel. “Yeah? And where would this date take place?”
“You will just have to wait and find out Ed’s.” Buck kissed the tip of his nose
“And since we are going on a date tonight, does that mean I get to kiss you again?”
“If the date goes well, then yes.”
“But if not?” That was Eddie’s worst nightmare
“Then you’ll get a kiss anyway, and as much as I would love to stay here with you all day, I promised Maddie I would go to brunch with her and Jee, and help her set up the nursery.” Something in Eddie felt unsettled at these words; it felt like a punch to the gut, and he didn’t know why
“Okay,” that was all he was able to push out before his eyes started to tear up. There was no rhyme or reason to why he was crying, but he just needed to
He tried to avert his eyes from Buck, because he didn’t want to make Buck worry; he just really needed to cry
“Eddie, what's wrong?” He was still trying to meet his eyes, but Eddie couldn’t look at him. “Baby, please look at me, whatever’s wrong, I’ll try and help, okay?”
“Could you-um, could you maybe not tell Maddie,” Eddie is still looking at the ground with tears streaming from his eyes, he was too scared to look at Buck, he feels like he’s ruining what they have before it had a chance to start
“Yeah, Eddie, that’s not a problem at all, please just look at me.” Buck brings his hands to cup Eddie’s face. “I’m not mad, I promise, I just want to look at you, please, baby, please.”
Eddie finally meets his eyes, and it only makes him cry more, seeing how Buck is looking at him with so much love in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Buck, I just don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“Ed’s it’s okay.” He wipes away one of Eddie’s tears, though it comes back just as quickly. “Is it us? Or just telling people”
“Buck, it’s not you, not at all. This is the happiest I’ve been in my entire life. I just don’t think I’m ready to label this. I think I just need a little time.” Eddie’s tears had begun to slow down till they eventually stopped
His breathing was heavy, but he was trying to just focus on Buck, how close he was, how he was looking at him, how his hands felt on him. “That’s okay, you can take as much time as you need, I’ll be here, whatever you need.” he pulled Eddie into a hug that he hadn’t realized how much he needed. “We can put this on pause if you need.”
“No! No, please, I want you so bad.” When Eddie spoke, his lips brushed against Buck’s neck
They stayed like this for a little too long, but neither of them could care
“You called me baby,” Eddie pulled away to look Buck in the eyes
“I did.”
“You did.”
“Did you- was that okay?”
“Yes, Buck it was” he turned to look at the clock on the oven “Shit, you have to go”
“I know, I’m sorry, I’ll call you later, okay,” he pecks a kiss on his cheek, “and I’ll pick you up at 5:00.”
“Okay!” He watches as Buck quickly moves around the house to gather his things that were sprawled out around Eddie’s house, which made Eddie’s heart flutter, and how involved Buck had been in his house. “Wait, Buck.”
“Did I forget something?” Eddie didn’t reply, he simply looked at Buck for a moment. “Baby?”
Eddie leans up to kiss Buck’s birthmark. “Okay, now you can go.”
“Who knew Edmundo Diaz was a big softie?”
“Hush, Buckley, now go meet your sister before she storms my house.”
“Alright, alright, see you tonight, baby,” And with that, he was walking out the front door and into his jeep
-----------------------------------------
Buck and Maddie made quick work of eating since they were a little behind schedule (Eddie’s fault), then got to work painting the new nursery, building the crib, three different dressers, and, for some reason, Maddie thought it was necessary to put a loveseat in the room. They had finally got everything set up to Maddie’s liking, not after changing it around at least three times
“Alright, Mads, as much as I love you using me for free physical labour, I have to go.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you go, but if you could take these boxes with you on your way out.”
Buck just hugged his very pregnant sister, “Of course, sorry again about brunch, I just lost track of time.”
“I know, the Diaz movie nights just get super crazy!”
“Leaving now!”
Buck can hear a faint ‘love you’ as he closes the door
As he pulls himself into the driver's seat of his car, he sees that it’s already two p.m.
Buck starts his car and almost immediately gets a call from Eddie, “Hey Ed’s.”
“Hey, um, I have a question, are you alone?”
“Eddie Diaz!”
“No, no, not like that, I just want to ask you about tonight, like what I should wear.”
“There’s no need to stress, okay? Just wear what you’re most comfortable in.”
“Okay, got it, I’ll talk to you later, Bye Buck.”
“Bye, Baby”
Buck enjoyed the ride home as he was thinking of all the possibilities of how the night would go
When he finally pushed his way into the loft, it was 2:30, and instead of taking a nap or relaxing like most would, he got straight to work. He put on his most recent favorite song, ‘Stuck on Us’ (Claire Rosinkranz, Aidan Bissett), and started to clean up the loft
It was fairly clean already, but he would not spoil tonight by having Eddie stare at a pile of his dirty laundry, and just for safe measure, he washed his sheets as well.
He then got the projector from the back of his closet to set it up, he debated for a while whether it would be better to set it up downstairs or not. He ultimately decided that he didn't want to come off as too strong and put it in the living room
He pushed his couch far against the wall and set up a blanket and pillows on the floor, as if this were a picnic, with everything finally to his liking, and having a few minutes to spare before he needed to start dinner, he decided to call TK.
“Hey man! What’s up?” TK was always very enthusiastic when Buck called
“Nothing much, just setting up for a date… with Eddie!”
“Oh my god!” TK sounds almost as excited as Buck does, “Wait, I have to tell Carlos, gimme a sec.”
Buck continues his call with TK, talking about all the exciting plans he has for his future with Eddie, and throwing out some ideas of Buck coming to Texas.
“As much as I love talking with you, I do have a very hot date coming over in an hour, and I need to start on dinner.”
“Alright, Buck, and I expect to hear all the details in the morning.”
“Yeah, yeah, Bye”
Buck’s working on Bobby’s famous pasta sauce while enjoying the soft music still playing, and finally, after years of trying to stop his mind from running wild with thoughts of Eddie, he lets himself dream, he dreams of a life where they grow old together, and maybe just maybe there's another Diaz child running around
Very pleased with his life right now, he throws the pasta in the oven and makes his way upstairs to take a shower, where he very, very thoroughly washes himself, making sure he smells the best he has ever before, and throws on his favorite sweatpants and a nice blue sweater to complement his eyes
Eddie <3
Okay so I know you said whatever I want but that's not very helpful -4:50
Baby please don’t stress, wear whatever you are most comfortable in -4:50
Still not helpful -4:50
Give me a hint on where we are going pleaseeee -4:51
I’m dying here Buck- 4:51
Do you really want me to die -4:51
Be patient, I’m about to leave anyway-4:52
Be there soon <3 -4:53
Buck found it really cute how much Eddie was stressing, To be honest he found everything Eddie did adorable
He very quickly made his bed and tried his hardest to make it look nice without making it look like he was trying, then he checked on the pasta to make sure that it wouldn’t burn and with one final look in the mirror he went down to his car
Buck’s not quite sure how he was at Eddie’s house he had blacked out for the entire car ride,
Nervous was an understatement, but also this is the happiest he’s been in a while
He sits in the car for just a moment, when he finally makes up the courage to knock on the door he’s greeted by a very handsome Eddie Diaz, in a pair of dark wash jeans and a henley, He frowns a bit at the jeans knowing the won't be very comfortable to watch movies in
“You ready?”
“Honestly, no, I’ve never been more scared in my entire life” That’s when it hits Buck this isn’t any regular first date, this is a date with his best friend.
“I know me too, my hands wouldn’t stop shaking earlier, and for the record I think your outfit looks great,” he pressed a kiss to his cheek “and so do you.”
“You already got me on a date Buckley no need to flatter me”
“But it’s more fun that way”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go?” Eddie still looks very shy, but Buck just takes his hand and pulls him toward the car, “So.. are you gonna tell me where we are going?”
“Nope, in fact I would appreciate it if you closed your eyes, I want it to be a surprise”
“You’re serious?”
“Yup, just enjoy the ride, it’s not too far”
“This better be worth it” This didn’t feel too different to how they usually were but it was because during them talking, Buck had grabbed Eddie’s hand from where it was on his lap and intertwined their fingers
“Aren’t I always?” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand in response as they fell into a comfortable silence, Eddie’s eyes were still shut
Buck would be lying if he said that the thought of Eddie being this obedient in bed didn’t do something to him
“Are we close at all?”
“Very, but still don’t open your eyes till I get you all the way there,”
“What does that mean?”
“Just trust me please” he squeezes Eddie’s hand three times a silent ‘I love you’
“I do,” three squeezes back
Buck tries his absolute hardest to get Eddie into the loft without giving away where they were and without getting Eddie too hurt, but he definitely stubbed his toe at least once
“Okay, we’re here’
“Finally, so I can open my eyes?”
“Yes” When Eddie opens his eyes he feels tears pricking at his eyes, Buck had gone out of his way to make his loft into their own private restaurant and picnic all in one
“Do you like it?” Eddie doesn’t answer, he just kisses Buck, it wasn’t much longer than their first kiss but oh did it feel great
“Thank you,” his hands were fisted in Buck’s shirt, “I was so nervous about being in public, this is perfect, thank you, baby”
“Ed’s it wasn’t that much work, and I knew you were so I wanted to do something that would be just us” he wipes a tear from Eddie’s cheek, which was from pure happiness “And if I knew this is all it took to get another Diaz kiss, I would've done this forever ago”
“Shut up, and please can we eat? I’ve been stressing all day, no time to eat”
Eddie is the cutest man in the whole world “one more kiss?” Buck can’t help but ask I mean Eddie was very hard to resist
Eddie leans in to peck him, and okay maybe it turned into a little more than a peck, and now Eddie was backed up on the counter as Buck licked into his mouth and let his hands trail down Eddie’s body
As though he would gladly continue like this he cant starve his Eddie, “Alright, baby-” Eddie tries to kiss him again but if Buck kissed him again he wouldn’t be able to stop “No, no we have to eat”
“Do we? I’m content here”
“Edmundo, I barely even got to take you on a date, I want this, but right now I want to have a nice date with a very handsome man”
“Fineeeee, romance me”
“Your such a dork” They still haven’t moved from their position and Buck had his hands on Eddie’s waist, and their hips were pressed together, but very hesitantly Buck moves his hands to Eddie’s and pulls him to the table, before pulling out the pasta
“Smell’s delicious baby” Eddie had never said it, But it sounded so right, and it felt right too
“Baby? Huh.”
“Is that okay, I know I said it was but I never asked you”
“Yes ed’s its okay, You don't have to ask, I’ll tell you if something is wrong,” He took his seat across from Eddie and it didn’t take long before their feet were tangled underneath the table
This was the oddest first date they ever had, only because it was so perfect, they didn’t have to talk about their favorite color or try and impress each other with cool little stories from when they were kids, no they just talked
They talked about Chris
They talked about their plans for the upcoming week
Buck told Eddie how excited he was to visit Tk
They finished dinner but stayed at the table for far too long, it was well past 8 now “as much as I love this table, I would much rather not be sitting here all night,”
“You tryna get me to bed?” Eddie kicked him for this comment
“Or maybe we can go to the living room that you clearly spent a while on so it would be comfortable, which I appreciate.”
“Anything for you,” Eddie grabbed Bucks’ hand a kissed each knuckle
“Could I maybe borrow a pair of sweats, cause these jeans aren’t all that comfortable”
“Of course baby” Bucks was starting to worry that he was over doing it, but the way Eddie’s face flushed every time he said it made it worthwhile
Buck grabbed two beers from the fridge and settled down on the pile of blankets in, he doesn’t have a chance to even think because Eddie is walking up to him in his sweatpants, seeing him in his clothes twice in the last 24 hours it's definitely something he could get used to
“Sorry these were just the first ones I could find.”
“No, no it’s fine, can you just come here please?” Eddie walks over to Buck and sits himself down so he can throw his legs over Buck’s lap
It’s new for both of them but it feels right, everything in the last 7 years has led up to the moment, and it was worth it.
Buck could hear Eddie speaking but his mind was running at a million miles an hour, he’s pulled out of his thoughts when Eddie's hand grabbed Buck’s bicep “what are you thinking?”
“I’m so happy right now, I’ve wanted this for so long, and now your here, and your touching me, and I am just so fucking happy,” Bucks hands were tracing small circles on Eddie’s thighs “I think I’ve felt like this since the day I met you”
“Felt like what?”
“Ed’s I- I’m in love with you, and I hav-” Buck couldn’t finish his thoughts because Eddie was pushing him onto his back and crawling on top of him, “baby… we said we would talk”
“We did, now we can kiss”
“Ed’s” kiss* “I” kiss* “want” Kiss* “you” kiss* “but i think we really do need to talk, and you can’t keep kissing me because it is getting harder and harder to pull away”
“Then stop pulling away” Buck sit’s up so his back is against the couch and Eddie is still in his lap “fuck!” ``
“Sorry.”
“No Buck, that was just really hot” Buck’s face grew into a deep shade of red, something that he would’ve usually try to hide, but tonight, Eddie was in his lap, and Eddie was looking at him with those eyes that are making Buck go insane
“Ed’s you gotta stop looking at me like that” Eddie wasn’t very keen on the idea of not looking at Buck, I mean he is literally the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen
“You got to stop dodging my kisses”
“Ed’sss I just want to talk to before i jump into bed with you, and fuck up the most important relationship ive ever had” Eddie’s eyes well up at the confession “and, fuck! You are making it really hard right now, you’re the sexiest man, person I’ve met in my entire life, and your on top of me and kissing me, and fuck, I really need to just talk to you right now.” Buck’s words hit Eddie hard. And for the second time today Eddie was crying
“Buck-” He reached up to caress Bucks’ face “I love you so much, and I’m sorry for not listening to you, I just feel like we’ve missed out on years of kissing and being together, and I know we need to talk, so I’m sorry, lets talk”
“god you’re ridiculous” Buck’s hands are traveling up and down Eddie’s sides, making their way down to eddie’s thighs that were currently straddling him “there is no need to be saying sorry, baby- I hate to see you cry, tell me what’s going through your mind right now”
“I’m not upset, I just feel so loved right now, like I’ve never felt before, and I hate the fact that I was being too pushy”
“You weren’t, not at all, I get it, it’s taking everything in me not to take you upstairs rights now,”
“Fuck- yeah?”
“Yes, was that not extremely obvious ed’s, I mean” Buck gestures toward the fact that Eddie is in his lap and can most definitely feel his erection “I want you more than you could ever know, I’m genuinely just terrified of fucking this up, so I think we need to set some boundaries”
“Okay, like what?” Eddie crossed his arms behind Buck’s head
“Like, you already said you don’t want to tell other people” Eddie’s face dropped, “and that’s okay with me, but what does that mean exactly? Like no touching outside of our homes? Or what?”
“No! No I don't think I could go back to being ‘platonic’ after this, but maybe just tone it down, I mean I want to scream from the hill tops about how much I love you but as soon as I do, it comes with questions that I just don’t think I can handle right now”
“Okay, we can tone it back in public, but when we’re alone?” Buck moved one of his hands so his fingertips can graze the skin over the skin by the hem of Eddie’s shirt “I can’t get enough of you and I really don’t want to stop”
“God, please don’t I feel like I’m on fire right now.” Buck smirked at Eddie’s comment, “since we’re on the topic though…”
“Yes, my love?”
“I know, I’ve been pushing for us to be a little physical, and Buck I want that, i really do, but for now I’m not ready to go like all the way,”
“That’s okay, I’m not gonna do anything that your not one hundred percent sure that you want” Eddie’s heart warmed at the sentiment “I’m gonna be ready for you, but don’t think that you have to rush anything, only” kiss* “when you want to”
“Thank you Buck, but I hope you know that doesn’t mean everything is off the table”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I mean I’m scared yes, but I want you Buck, I want you, I need you” Buck’s hands travel further under Eddie’s shirt trying to feel as much skin as possible “and for the record I think we talked enough for one-”
Eddie was cut off as Buck stood up with Eddie still in his arms “god Eddie, you have no idea what you're doing to me, please I want you so bad”
“I’m here Buck,” Buck surges forward to kiss Eddie, similarly to when Eddie first came over, Eddie pulled back ,and earned a whine from Buck “can we go upstairs please?”
Buck wastes no time, and Eddie is terrified, Buck’s running up the stairs with Eddie in his arms “Fuck- Holy shit Buck,”
Buck wants everything, he wants it rough and fast, and slow and passionate “Baby, please, what- what can I do”
“Kiss me, right now” Buck loved the way Eddie already sounded so desperate, like he had already been fucked, like he was ruined
“Fuck” Eddie was kissed with a passion that he hadnt felt in a while, well ever, before Buck,
Buck grinded down onto Eddie’s growing erection and pulled the most amazing sounds out of him, he’s addicted, even from the short amount he has been able to hear, it’s enough.
Eddie is a drug.
*buzz* *buzz* *buzz*
“Fuck, whose phone is that,” Buck is so mad at the world right now, he finally finally had Eddie to himself, underneath him, making those sounds,
“Mine,” Eddie smiles as Buck groans and rolls off of him “I’m sorry baby, give me a second”
Eddie picks up the phone and Buck watches as his face drops, “Yeah Chris I’ll be there soon, love you bye.” He hangs up and flops back onto the bed with a groan “I’m so sorry Buck, its Chris he got food poisoning and said he wants to be picked up”
“It’s okay, I’ll still want you when Chris gets better,”
“Orr you could come with me, I know, a sick kid isn't exactly my ideal first date, but you know,”
“Anytime spent with you two isn’t wasted ”
“Yeah, yeah lets go get our boy” Buck kissed him for that, once, twice, and once more for good measure, they walked out the door hand in hand and Buck’s smile didn’t leave his face
They make quick work of getting to Chris, as much as they wished they had more alone time, Chris will always be a main priority
They were greeted by the sight of Hen and Chris were standing on the porch, Chris looking very sick
“Oh mijo, Come on let's go home, I’m sorry Hen I know it’s late” Eddie runs his hands through Chris’ sweaty hair
“Edmundo don’t. I’m sorry you have to deal with a sick kid all night, good luck to you and Buck.” Hen just winks at him, and as much as he would like to clear his name Chris needed to go home
“Chris, I was with Buck so he’s in the car, is that okay?”
“Mhm” He was way to weak after all the throwing up to say anything more
“Oh mijo, let's go home”
Buck moves from the passenger seat to the back with Chris,
Chris presses himself into Buck’s side while he runs his hands through his hair to try and sooth him. Eddie is going relatively slow, to make sure Chris doesn’t get too nauseous and doesn’t throw up on Buck
“Hey superman, we made it home”
“Can you just carry my please?”
“Of course,” Eddie loves the way him and Buck interact, he wishes he could have this always, him Buck and Chris, that's all he needs to be happy,
“I’ll run a bath for you mijo”
“Thank you” Chris sounded weak, and it broke both their hearts
Buck and Eddie were now in a very similar situation to the night before, except tonight there is no confusion, Eddie is his, and he is Eddie’s
Eddie walks out of Chris’ room and meets Buck on the couch, “thank you for helping tonight, and I’m sorry that you spent so long on making this the perfect night and we ended up here” Eddie had tucked himself under Buck’s arm and wrapped his arm around Bucks’ waist
“I’m perfectly happy like this Ed’s, and maybe I wish, we could have continued what we were doing, but this just means i get to talk to you more, So I got what I wanted” Buck ended his thoughts with a kiss to Eddie’s forehead
“Your sappy”
“I’m in love”
“Mm are you? “
“Yup. Hey Ed’s?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we gonna tell Chris, I know you didn’t want to tell anyone, but I don't want to lie to him.” Buck could feel the way Eddie tensed underneath him
“I know, I don't want to lie to him, I just, he’s a kid he’ll have a lot of questions that I don't have answers to, and I really don't want to confuse him.”
“Okay, you know you don’t have to have answers for anyone,”
“I know, but, I’m just a little frustrated with myself, and I wish I knew what I was doing, like I’m fucking thirty years old and have no Idea how I feel” the way Buck is looking at him makes him feel like he’s the only person in the entire world “I’m so so so in love with you, and god I want you forever, I wish it could be just the three of us for the rest of our lives”
Buck is at a loss for words, no one has ever put him first like this, no one has ever loved him like this,
He has never loved someone like this
They sit in a comfortable silence after Eddie’s confession, Buck’s hand trailing up and down the side of Eddie’s body, Eddie pressed into his chest
And now Eddie is crying, a few silent tears running down his face,
If it were anyone else they wouldn’t have been able to notice, but Buck did, almost immediately
He shot up so he could look Eddie in the face “What is it?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like I need to cry” it sounds so stupid, Eddie is crying and he has no explanation for why,
“Okay, that’s okay baby, just cry, I’m here,” that makes him want to cry more the way in which Buck loves him is so beyond him, “is there anything I can do?”
He just shakes his head, words feel too difficult right now, His life feels like it has just crumbled around him
vulnerable doesn’t start to describe how Eddie is feeling right now,
Usually in this moment he would run to Buck but he can’t, right now Buck is the reason he is feeling like this
It’s not like he’s mad at him, he’s purely scared right now, the thought of being loved is so far out of the realm of possibilities for Eddie, it absolutely terrifies him
Buck is still there studying his face, He’s barely touching him, as if he would break if he touched him to hard
“I- I’m scared” Eddie’s words were so soft, he makes himself sound so small “I feel like you can see me even when I don’t want you to”
“Oh, Eddie” For the first time since he started crying Buck pulled him onto his lap so he could hug him, “I do see you, but it’s nothing to be scared about, I want you, in every way, through the ups and the downs, I want you to be vulnerable, because I love you Eddie, I know it’s terrifying but baby you need to give us a chance before you shut down on me,” Eddie’s tears only increase at this
“Buck-”
“No, no hey, I’m not upset at all I just want you to know- I need you to know that it’s okay to feel like this, but I need you to also know that we’re gonna be okay, no matter what, I love you so much, and yes it scares me but I know you love me too, so I think we can be okay”
Eddie pulls his face from Buck’s, the love of his life’s, neck “I do love you, so much, I’m so sorry, I’m not scared of loving you, loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done, I’m scared that I don’t do enough to deserve your love”
“You don’t have to do anything, I would love you through anything Eddie, please don’t ever doubt that” Eddie kisses him so softly and gently it was pure love
“Baby,” Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s face wiping away his tears, and planting kisses across his face “can we please go to sleep, I’m really tired”
“Of course, whatever you need” the tears has mostly stopped by now but mainly because he had no more to cry
They made quick work of getting ready for bed side by side, with a lot of hand holding and gentle touches, they make their way to the bedroom similarly to the night before, Eddie is staring at the bed like he is scared
And he is, he’s scared of this love, it’s all so new to him, not that Buck is a man but the fact that Buck is his world
“It’s okay if this is too much, I won't hold it against you” Buck’s words cut through the trance Eddie had put himself into
“I just want to sleep, please” He reached out to grab Buck’s hand “with you,”
“Okay, we can go to sleep” Eddie dragged Buck to the bed, and crawled in pulling Buck down next to him
The men settled into a comfortable silence with Eddie curled into Buck’s side, one hand draped across his waist, “it’s not too much,”
“Is it not enough?”
“No, Buck your perfect, i’ll take whatever you give me,” Eddie is speaking into Buck’s shirt, too scared to look into his eyes, to be seen
“Eddie you don’t have to settle, you're allowed to ask, to want.”
“What if I ask for too much?”
“You won’t. You can’t.” Eddie didn’t want to speak, he just needed to think “I love you, go to sleep baby” with a kiss on the forehead, there was no longer a need to speak, Buck understood him.
He listened to Eddie’s breathing even out and his light snores start, too distracted by his own thoughts to fall asleep himself
But, he’s content, Buck definitely didn’t hope his night would end like this but in a round-about way it kind of was, he definitely hoped for less clothes but this was still good
Buck’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door, “dad? Buck?”
“Chris, come in”
“Can I sleep in here?”
“Of course, come here, did you get sick again?”
“No I just, wanted to sleep with y'all”
“Okay bud, c’mere"
Chris made his way over to Buck, “Can you scoot over?” of course instead of climbing in on the other side, Chris was just like his father and needed to be as close to Buck as possible
Buck maneuvers himself and Eddie to the side so Chris can climb up on the and mush himself against buck’s side “Goodnight buddy”
“‘Night Bucky” with the addition of Chris and the lack of personal space Buck had no choice but to fall asleep surrounded by the Diaz men
And just that was perfect, this was all he would ever need in life.