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Her breath escaped her, as she fell to her knees on the balcony.
Visions of what happened to Golden Cheese Cookie in the Land of Spices left her as a shell of herself, barely holding herself together as opposed to having been in perfect form prior to ever meeting Burning Spice Cookie. Even a simple meeting with her friends couldn’t go right.
She tried to stand and fly off, but her knees felt weak and her wings felt heavy.
”I can’t even fly…” she uttered as she choked back tears. “Are the sins dealt upon me so heavy that I can no longer spread my wings as I could in days of old…? If I cannot control my very nature, what CAN I…?”
Her hand clenched, and a glowing golden spear formed in it. Her spear, used many a time in combat, had never lost its edge. In fact, after she had defeated Burning Spice Cookie, it only grew sharper.
The mental mention of Burning Spice Cookie had her involuntarily closing her eyes and gripping her spear with both hands.
In an instant, her eyes shot open as she felt something. Pain.
Her left hand was gripping the sharp tip of her spear. She quickly let go, looking at her hand to make sure it wasn’t bleeding jam. She found no jam, much to her relief. But within that relief, a twinge of disappointment. Something about the pain of accidentally gripping her spear’s tip felt different from the pain forced on her by Burning Spice Cookie. When her hand returned to the spear’s tip, dough gently pressing against gold, and she felt the same new pain, a thought struck her.
She can control this. This is her dough, her spear.
She started to run her hand down her spear’s edge, feeling the sharpness rubbing against her, knowing she could draw jam.
Maybe she wanted to draw jam. Maybe she wanted to replace the pain. Maybe she-
“Golden Cheese Cookie.” a gruff voice came from behind her.
She yelped lightly, her spear instantly vanishing as she scrambled to her feet, and looked at Dark Cacao Cookie, who was giving her a look that bordered on concern but was still as unreadable as ever.
“Dark Cacao Cookie… Why are you here?” Golden Cheese Cookie almost stammered as she asked, stealing a glance at the palm of her hand before looking at him again. Still no jam.
“I was concerned for your well-being.” Dark Cacao Cookie responded. “You left rather abruptly.”
“I-I just needed some air. Like I said.” Golden Cheese Cookie silently crossed herself, because this time she did stammer, and she knew Dark Cacao Cookie is not someone who overlooks details.
He narrowed his eyecings. “Are you trying to hide something?”
Cheeses. He figured it out.
Golden Cheese Cookie turned away, leaning on the balcony and scowling a little. “If you weren’t a king, you’d make for a damn good detective.” She looked out at the horizon, expecting a breeze to lightly tickle her face, but no breeze came. Instead, Dark Cacao Cookie’s hand rested on her shoulder.
“I know you are hurting, Golden Cheese Cookie. We all are. Do not think you are alone in feeling this way.” Dark Cacao Cookie consoled. “Now more than ever, we cannot divide ourselves, no matter the reason. So, tell me… What plagues your mind? Is it the Beast you felled?”
Golden Cheese Cookie looked away. “…Not entirely…”
“Your Soul Jam was taken, wasn’t it? By the Beast?”
Golden Cheese Cookie turned towards Dark Cacao Cookie. “How would you know anything about that?”
“Mine was taken as well.” Dark Cacao Cookie confessed. “At my lowest moment, my Soul Jam abandoned me. But I took up arms regardless, and raised my sword as high as I could muster. I swore that even in the face of Apathy, I would continue to fight for the future I wanted for my subjects and descendants.”
“Must be fun, having a kingdom to fight for.” Golden Cheese Cookie remarked. “Can’t imagine having one of those.”
“Your kingdom fell long ago, that is true.” Dark Cacao Cookie responded. “But no one is saying you cannot rebuild it again.”
“And will my subjects be happy with what I do?!” Golden Cheese Cookie snapped. “I’ve ALREADY rebuilt my kingdom from the ground up once before! I created a grand digital city, free from Earthbread’s burdens, snd what did they do?! They turned against me, stole my Soul Jam, and demanded I turn the city OFF! I gave my very dough to make their lives happy and they spat on it!”
Dark Cacao Cookie remained silent, allowing Golden Cheese Cookie to continue.
She huffed and turned away again, flopping on the railing as opposed to leaning on it. “I bet they still think of me as a foolish queen. I know Smoked Cheese Cookie does…”
“Hm… I suppose he would have been entertained by Affogato Cookie.” Dark Cacao Cookie said with a slight smile.
“Is that humor I hear?” Golden Cheese Cookie asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Perhaps. I too have been betrayed by a close ally.”
“This Affogato Cookie… What did he do?”
“He conspired with Dark Enchantress Cookie’s forces to usurp me and tear my kingdom down with sloth and wastefulness.”
Golden Cheese Cookie rolled her eyecings. “Isn’t that relatable? Smoked Cheese Cookie did the exact same thing. Took my Soul Jam right out of my crown, showed everyone my kingdom wasn’t ‘real’ and basically staged a coup against me. But no, he’s not to blame.” She started to pace as she continued, her voice wavering as her anger started to boil. “The one to blame is me! I’m the delusional one! I’m the one living a lie! I’m the one who led her kingdom to ruin! I’m the one who’s fool enough to stop my subjects from abandoning me!”
She slammed her fists on the railing. “WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY FAULT?!”
Dark Cacao Cookie remained silent for a moment, before speaking. “Golden Cheese Cookie.”
After a moment, she turned to face him.
“Take your crown off.” Dark Cacao Cookie directed.
With shaking hands, Golden Cheese Cookie followed Dark Cacao Cookie’s gentle command. Dark Cacao Cookie patiently watched as the shining crown was dropped to the floor. Though it weighed not more than a gold bar, it fell as though it was heavier than the whole of the Great Wall. The Soul Jam of Abundance, an irreplaceable artifact with powers beyond comprehension, was sitting on the floor like a discarded toy.
Dark Cacao Cookie looked at Golden Cheese Cookie, who couldn’t return his gaze. “Come forward.” he calmly said.
Her legs trembling much like her hands, Golden Cheese Cookie slowly stepped forward towards Dark Cacao Cookie. The farther she was from her Soul Jam, the heavier her legs felt, as if weights were strapped to her ankles.
“Good…” Dark Cacao Cookie said, his voice unchanging as he reached forward and gently held her hand. As his dough met hers, she finally raised her head and looked him in the eyecing.
“Now…” Dark Cacao Cookie continued. “…Tell me who you are.”
“Who I am? You already know who I am! I am the Divine Radiance herself! The Golden God! The Immortal Queen of the Golden Cheese Kingdom! I-”
“No.” Dark Cacao Cookie interrupted. “That is what you are. I asked for who you are.”
Golden Cheese Cookie had no answer.
“Remember where you came from. How you got to your seat of power. How you became the Divine Radiance.” Dark Cacao Cookie said. “You already have your answers, you need only find them again.”
She nodded, remaining silent. She thought back to the day when she discovered her Soul Jam in the tomb. The very first Cheesebird she made her subject.
She built her kingdom from the ground up. There was nothing to inherit. Nothing to be given by someone else. One flick of the Soul Jam of Abundance and all of a sudden she had an entire kingdom all her own. Cookies flocked to her. Not to her kingdom, to her. Even in the Golden City, they all shared in their love for her.
“…I am Golden Cheese Cookie.” she said after a moment. “The founder and ruler of the Golden Cheese Kingdom. I would and did give everything for the Cookies and Cheesebirds that came to me. All that I did, I did for others, even when that action may have been wrong. I am greedy, but I never acted selfishly. I always did what was right for my subjects, even if it hurt me to do so.”
She took a breath, before continuing, her voice growing stronger. “I am greedy, but selfish. Acquisitive, but generous. I am Golden Cheese Cookie, and I created a kingdom of Abundance from nothing so Cookies could have a land where they never knew suffering. And even if it falls time and time again, I’ll just rebuild it every time with just my Soul Jam and ingenuity! And should my subjects scorn me again, I will do right by them even if it pains me further.”
Dark Cacao Cookie smiled. “Good… I hear the Resolution in your tone. You have turned your greed into generosity.”
He placed his hand on her shoulder, and she smiled. “You know who you are. Do not lose sight of it again.”
Golden Cheese Cookie nodded, walking to and picking up her crown. She returned it to its rightful place atop her head, her Soul Jam shining as she turned back to him. “I don’t plan to, Dark Cacao Cookie. …Thank you.”
“If you lose your way again, Golden Cheese Cookie, know that all of us will help you find it. Every time.”
“I don’t doubt that anymore. Shall we return to the others?” Golden Cheese Cookie asked.
“Yes. We have kept them waiting long enough.” Dark Cacao Cookie said, smiling.
He turned and headed back inside, the conversation having finished. Golden Cheese Cookie started to follow him inside, but stopped when a breeze tickled her face. She closed her eyes for a moment and slowly exhaled, before looking at her hand, the one she had run on her spear.
It was not leaking jam. And she didn’t need it to.
Her head held high, Golden Cheese Cookie reentered the conference room.