Work Text:
Patience was a learned virtue from the availability of time. The truth holds for the opposite as well. When you have all the time in the world you wouldn’t want to speed things up, where would you find happiness in that? Life would become- er death in this particular case would be meaningless.
Axel considered himself to be patient.
But Axel couldn't remember ever having someone so zombie-like and insentient to look after. He wished Roxas would do something but he kept to himself like a hermit in his own impenetrable bubble. Axel couldn’t quite understand why. In the month since he’s followed Roxas, he came to see him as a not horrible person but probably not the best company you’d what. He just seemed so unmotivated. Aside from a having a silvertongue, Roxas was quite charming. But underneath all of it seemed to be a sad boy.
He didn't seem to appreciate company and even when he did he preferred them in small doses. At School he kept to himself despite being surrounded by a small group of friends. Even then he still managed to have a impenetrable aura. At home, things were a little bit better but since Roxas was so chill and hardly did anything, Axel wasn't really sure what to do for him. He wanted to help him that’s for sure. If he had to do something then so be it. Even if he had to do that. Well he suppose he’s had worse ideas.
The Library was a place Roxas spent his days stuffing his nose into books while simultaneously avoiding everyone. He crisscrossed his legs on the chair, cozying up and relishing in the silence. Axel soon fell into his routine of babbling. Complaining and negotiating were some of his strong suits, if he said so himself.
“You know for someone your statute and height you sure do pack a lot of baggage.” He pointed at Roxas’s book bag that ironically enough did pack a lot. Axel laughed at his own joke. Needless to say, Roxas doesn't reply. The veil of security doing it’s job on barring the living world from the dead world. He just proceeded with his story, having been blocked from the noise of the talk.
“You know I don't think I’ve ever met someone so… how do I put this nicely.” He says as he animately twirled his hands over each other. He snaps his fingers when the word comes.
“Ahh! so assholish as you.” Axel thinks back to the instance where Roxas had yelled at his older brother or when he’d furiously argued with his classmate. He gave Roxas a sideward glance from the bookshelf he casually leaned on. Roxas yawned as he absently flipped a page of his book, completely unaware of the verbal taunts he was subjected under.
Being an apparition had it’s perks. Such as saying what you wanted without the repercussion of anger or annoyance. Likely, what Axel said would surely get a punch to the face with his bluntness.
“Look Roxas, I’m going to be straight with you. You’re a bastard but you don't have to be.” He exasperatedly motioned to Roxas and closed in on him. Slowly circling around Roxas as he spewed on.
“I think you just need more practice with social interaction.” He reasoned. “Maybe fix up your attitude a little and viola! Respectable member of society.” Roxas continued reading without a care in the world and Axel contemplated him for a moment. There’s a lingering sadness always clinging to Roxas that Axel wished would disappear. Knowing he can’t do much for him in this form he decided to do something he hadn’t done for a while.
He supposed now was a better time than ever to finally ‘meet’ Roxas.
Axel gently laid a hand on Roxas’s shoulder, really concentrating on keeping his hold on this dimension. Slowly but surely he feels gravity starting to weigh down on him and he knows he’s done it. He feels Roxas react to his touch and quickly thought of something clever to say.
“Life is what you make it.”
Roxas looked at him from an upended view, having to crane his neck to look at the offending intruder straight in the eye with a look that can slice. Those eyes that Axel was certain were unable to produce emotion besides doom and gloom were now looking at him with uncertainty but soon are locked toward the hand still linked on his shoulder.
Axel slid his hand off and laughed, trying to play it off. “Sorry about that, you seem to be having a bad day aren't you?” He really hoped Roxas doesn't immediately shoot him down and put his effort in vain.
Axel knew what he had done. Technically it was prohibited use but there was no way to track down its use. Axel couldn't find any other way to help him besides literally helping him. In the flesh, being able to talk to him and such. Consequences be thrown out the metaphorical window.
Roxas looked weary and confused but he shrugged. “Maybe. But what can you do about it.” He talked at a respectable indoor voice, loud enough to be heard yet cautious about the area they’re in. Purposely he returned his regard toward his book soon after.
Axel took a seat at the opposite end of Roxas’s side, having a small coffee table dividing the space between. Sitting down is a bit uncomfortable, Axel is unsure of how to situate himself in the chair, he hopes it doesn’t look to awkward. It's been too long since he’s done this. “You got me there…” He played dumb.
Roxas tore his attention away from his book to consider Axel from a sideways glance. “What’s your name?”
“Axel.” He disclosed. It felt nice to give himself some recognition.
“Okay, Axel.” He stressed out his name, a little too exaggeratedly and harsh. “What gave you the impression that I was having a bad day?”
“You’re scowling.” At that his scowl straightened and his posture corrected itself. He shrugged. “Maybe I always scowl. You don't know me.”
“Fair enough but your hands are clenched.” Axel pointed at Roxas’s balled up hands, prompting him to look down at his hand and considers it for a moment. “Maybe I want to punch you.” He states as a matter of factly with the audacity to smirk at him. Axel wondered where he got his wit from because his brother was nothing like this. He expected nothing more from him. “Do you always talk to people that way.” He genuinely questions.
“Do you always touch random strangers ‘that’ way?” He retorts.
The two are meeting eye to eye and surprisingly Roxas is the one who relents first. “Okay Axel.” He tests the name on his tongue with playful spite. “Is there something you want from me?” He says with a hint of repressed laughter like all of this was just some everyday conversation and Axel was just the first of many for the day. Roxas studied him some more.
“Haha naw. I just really like grabbing onto strangers. You happen to be a stranger.” Let the conversation flow, Axel. All in due time. You got this. Roxas was less than pleased.
“Ah. Well. This stranger has had its time with you so…” Instead of finishing his sentence he propped up his book, concealing his face and shutting Axel out from his inner self circle once more. The conversation flew right into a ditch and Axel churned the gears in his head for a resurgence, anything to revive the conversation. Axel caught sight of the book Roxas read and for some reason the benevolent beings graced him with another go of annoyance.
“Oh Kafka! I know that guy.” He exclaimed. Roxas peeped his head over the book and scoffed.
“My apologies. I guessed I hadn’t realized I was talking to a senior citizen.” He cheekily informed, Axel enjoyed that repartee from Roxas. Shaking his head, Axel pointed at the cover.
“No, no. The author. I’m familiar with his works.” Axel tapped his fingers against the table as he tried to recall the titles. “The Metamorphosis, The Trial and A Hunger Artist.”
Roxas’s eyes widen and he set the book down on the table. “It's not everyday I meet someone who actually knows what I’m talking about.” Now having his attention, Axel had to strive to maintain that hold. “Granted, not a lot of people read nowadays.”
“Sad reality of this generation. So many ungrateful people.” Axel casually looked Roxas in the eye. “So many lost opportunities.” Ignorant of the jab, Roxas prattled on. “Absolutely. It's a shame no one else can appreciate the great Franz Kafka or any other author besides mandatory reading assignments.” He declaimed passionately.
“You must really like reading.”
He shrugged. “You learn to occupy yourself when avoiding asinine people.” He explained honestly but Roxas is no longer looking at him. Instead his eyes are locked to something behind Axel. They flickered between him and behind him. He cocked his head.
“Hey, can you help me with something?” Axel nodded and clasped his hands. “Help is my middle name.”
“Good. You’re the perfect person to help me.” He launched out the seat and stepped inside one of the enclosed row of books. Axel followed suit, suspicious about the help Roxas wanted. At the end row, he stopped and pointed at a particularly high shelf.
“Give me that book right there.” He singled out a worn out book mockingly protruding from the case. The hilarious sight of an irritated, petite boy unable to reach a thing almost made Axel chuckle out loud. Here he was being used for his height to achieve a minuscule task, it didn’t bother him like it should. “Piece of cake umm...” Axel deliberately trailed off.
“My name is Roxas.” He kept his sight on the offending book, arms crossed expectantly. “One novel coming up, Roxas.” Axel carefully peeled the book from its cocooned position, only problem was his failure in noticing how connected it was with the surrounding books. All too late he watched as a neighboring title dived down and crashed on Roxas’s poor foot.
In theory, he could have rewind and moved Roxas. But this way was more entertaining and convenient for him. Sometimes he wondered why he’d been given a job in this course when he failed at doing its simple tasks.
Many profanities were emitted from under Roxas’s breath. Axel was impressed with how silent he kept. Talk about respect, Roxas was a whole different entity in itself. Unfortunately for him, it was no small blow either. The book was pretty thick and it now guiltlessly rested on the carpeted floor. Axel felt sorry for his foot, so he did what Roxas would want him to do.
He crouched down and presented Roxas his coveted book. “Are you ok?” He asked, not entirely concerned with his physical pain. That’ll heal soon enough but it was polite to ask anyways.
Roxas gave him a ‘are you kidding me look’ and he supposed that look was justified.
-
Being booted from a library was expected to happen to them. Yet here they are, wandering Roxas’s home of Twilight Town. Luckily, Roxas had forgiven Axel in his lack of care, finding it funny once, as expected, his pain had subsided. For a few days, they would meet up in the library where they’d discuss literature or other branches of recreation. When they got booted it was because Roxas couldn't keep his loud laughter in check. Who knew getting a rise out of him included making an ass out of himself. Getting accustomed to a physical body was slow, it wasn’t his fault he forgot he had weight and tried sitting on a weak table.
Anyways Roxas’s home was very beautiful. The atmosphere welcomed all and walking beside Roxas gave Axel a sense of normality, it spurred him to ponder if his own hometown was anything near this radiant. He wondered if he had liked his home.
He clapped his hands together. “Wow I guess I could scratch getting kicked out the library out of my bucket list.” He swung his arms back and forth as they briskly paced through the picturesque town, the sunlight hitting Axel right in the eye he had to block it with the back of hand. Out of all the days to be kicked out from a air conditioned place it had to be on a scorching day. Roxas wasn’t listening at him. Instead he glared at the running giggling children in the town’s square.
“Stupid kids and their lack of supervision.” He checked around as if waiting for parents to materialize and take their children away from his designated path.
“Aww. How nice of you volunteering to look after your brothers and sisters.” Axel teasingly said which earned him a dismissive wave from Roxas. “We should leave.” Right then, one of the children’s giant bouncy ball hit Roxas on the back causing Roxas to momentarily lose his center of balance and nearly fall on Axel. Two children, a boy and a girl, come running for their retrieval. Roxas picked up their offending sphere of rubber, he exasperatedly looked about ready to pummel the kids.
“Somewhere without the peskiness of youth.” He elaborated. The girl stuck her tongue out at Roxas and Roxas kindly reciprocates the action and Axel can’t help but laugh at the immaturity. Who would have known Roxas had a streak of that in him. The little boy accompanying her, who looked around ten, tugged at Axel’s hand. “Mister your boyfriend is really mean.” this prompted Axel to holler.
“Hear that Roxas, we’re boyfriends.” Axel nudged Roxas.
Roxas petulantly crossed his arms over his chest, a light shade specked across his cheeks. He knelt down to face the children one on one. He tried hard to keep a kind face but you could clearly see a hint of repressed annoyance. “We’re not dating. We’re just hanging out.” His voice warbled a bit like he was trying really hard to sound as sweet as possible.
The little girl stomped her foot, like the answer was the wrong one. “Date. Date. Date!” The little girl chanted as she jumped up and down. Her shrill voice garnering the attention of other equally noisy children. Soon enough, there was a group of children surrounding them, chanting along with their excited voices. Axel found their enthusiasm so adorable while Roxas defiantly stood there with a flushed face.
“Whatever. We’re getting out of here.” Roxas grabbed Axel’s hand and pushed his way through the little giggling ones. Axel doesn't realize when ‘we’ became a thing only that he liked being a part of it.
The somewhere ended up being a small ice cream shop, conveniently located by a bookshop, Axel had a inkling suspicion that Roxas was quite familiar with this section. He pointed at each individual ice cream flavor and recommended what Axel should get and avoid. In the end, Axel went with the flavor Roxas picked since clearly the one gifted superior taste palette wasn’t him.
Roxas pointed at a clock tower outside the window they seated by. “You know they say the clock tower was a popular place to commit suicide in the early 1900’s.” He innocently gave another lick to his sea salt ice cream as though he hadn't mentioned a macabre tidbit.
“I don't think that's a topic to talk about on a date. Too morbid.” Axel said while he picked at his own ice cream. It was pretty tasty but nothing to go gaga over.
“This isn't a date.” Roxas corrected prompting Axel to snort.
“Are you sure?” He teasingly said. Roxas pursed his lips and looked deep in cogitation, genuinely confused at this. “I'm not sure.” He admitted.
Seeing the turmoil going on with Roxas, Axel decidedly gave Roxas a little mercy and changed the subject. A blue book peeking out of Roxas’s bag catches his attention and he pointed at it.
“Whatcha reading now?” Roxas retrieved the book out his pouch and happily presented it to Axel. It’s a small blue book with the author being Banana Yoshimoto. Axel is pretty convinced he is having his leg pulled right now but he played along anyways because seriously what kind of a name was that.
Roxas’s ice cream dropped from his cone at that moment. He frowned down at it. “Here.” Axel presented his barely eaten ice cream. Doubtlessly, he offered his share since he refused to rewind for a trivial matter. Besides, it was cute. Not that he cared about it being cute.
“In a non date way of course.” Roxas scoffed at that but longingly eyed the ice cream in Axel’s hand before slowly grabbing hold of it and taking. He munches away happily on it. “One thing I really like about Sea Salt ice cream.” He dipped and devoured. “Is the polarity of it. Roxas gushed on.
“It's salty but sweet…” He takes another bite. “It's an unexpected combination but it works so well.” He carefully takes a bite out of the ice cream and smiles.
“Who would have thought they’d make a good combination.”
Axel seconded that notion.
-
Standing tall was not anything new to Axel. Having to tower over everyone gave him many advantages and disadvantages. But standing atop the clock tower one day with Roxas showed him a view he never wanted to forget. Overseeing the beauty and simplicity of the area and the inhabitants once again reinstated how lucky Roxas was to be born into the life he did. Roxas on the other hand look disinterested at not only the view ahead but below.
“Don’t you find it sad that people really think they are happy?” Gently, Roxas laid his head on the railing and peered down at the passerbys. Axel raised his eyebrow and tilted his head to Roxas. Not quite believing Roxas had said that. He looked down in anticipation of beholding a sight that would shatter his ideal. Maybe of an old lady getting robbed or a couple breaking up, something that would give him reason to believe.
Contrary to Roxas’s inclination, everyone seemed happy and content with their day. Children laughed and played like kids were suppose to. Couples relished in one another and friends goofed around with each other. Axel couldn’t understand how Roxas saw anything but good in it.
“Why do you say that?” He asked though part of him already had a hunch. Up to that point, everything had been smooth sailing, he almost convinced himself he’d no longer be needed and be on his way to hassle a new person.
“There’s nothing to be happy about so why are people acting as so?” He drawled while mindlessly inspecting his fingernails. “See those children. They don’t know who they’ll grow up to be. That couple most likely break up in a few weeks. Those friends? One day they’ll be strangers.”
Axel couldn’t believe he heard words like that being said, especially from someone still capable of feeling real happiness. Life was something so precious and momentous not to mention fleeting it was a gift to live as long as he did. It was insulting to not only himself but to anyone who never got a chance to even be able to be in Roxas’s position of awareness.
“There is a chance that may happen.” He took cognizance about the reality of the comment. “But the amazing thing is they can chose whether or not that will happen.”
Roxas is peering beside him from his hunched shoulders. “Sounds like something a moralist would say.” Roxas spat under his breath. Axel rolled his eyes and sighed, not entirely surprised by the attitude but not obligated to accept it. He doesn’t deny since a fraction of it was true. He knew it was not about him, it never was.
Axel clenched his hands, shook his head and outright said what he first took note of him the moment he had encountered Roxas. “The way you talk is worrying. I don’t think it’s right. You know being so negative.”
“Is it you job to regulate what I do on a daily basis? I can do and say what I want. You act like this bothers you as if you had a reason to be.” Unbeknown to Roxas, his query was right. His job was to watch and regulate Roxas everyday, though he could never disclose that information to him. Regardless, some things were not meant to be said. Especially pessimistic words doubting the sincerity of existence. “No, but anyone would be offput by hearing that.”
“Oh so now I’m off-putting.” He growled in vexation. Axel winced, that was totally not what he meant.
“You know what really pisses me off is having people talk to me like they know me.” Roxas turned to face Axel. The sunlight reflected off him, showcasing a face of unbearable anger and despair. “I already know myself and believe me I already know.” He rubbed at his temples, a small smile twitched the corner of his lips.
“Who set you up? Was it my idiotic brother?” He glared expectantly at Axel, tapping his fingers agitatedly on his lips. He stepped toward him. “Because if he did-”
“Nobody made me do anything why are you so suspicious?’
“Because everyone has only ever given me a reason too.” Roxas lowered his head in resignation and sighed. Axel can’t say he knew what the case was with him . From the moment he was assigned to him, Roxas was already a cynical force to be reckoned with.
“No. I did it because you just seemed like someone who needed help.”
“I'm not a charity case and you’re not a hero.” He snapped at him.
“I know that.” Axel never intended to be a hero nor did he believe in them. The perception of them, sure. The actuality of them? Few and far between. “But you don't have to be a hero to help someone. Any decent person would have offered support.”
“Any decent person huh.” Roxas looked so smug and hurt by that. “Must be nice being delusional and fitting your happy words into your fabricated reality. Sorry to say but no one like that exists.” He huffed and accessed Axel like he couldn’t believe he still stood there. Disgusted would an overstatement for the expression Roxas wore but disappointment hit the mark.
“You really did seem interesting, Axel.” He lamented. “But I guess you really are just like anyone else.” He went to retrieve his bag off the ground, swinging it over his shoulder. Roxas moved to leave the platform but not before giving Axel one last piece of his mind. “Screw off, delusionist.”
Then he was gone.
The platform felt much smaller and unwelcoming without the presence of another. Axel became hyper aware of how godforsaken the place was, which was a shame. The sunset that day had been the most beautiful sight he witnessed in a long time. Leaving Axel plagued by why beautiful things had to be entwined with hideous occurrences.
-
Axel doesn't want to give up. Not by something so trivial as a fit. It wouldn't be fair to Roxas. He wanted to do right by him. He tried finding Roxas but there was problem. He can’t seem to remember where he lived and even if he did, how can he just waltz up to his house and demand to talk to him. He would seem like a horrible stalker as if he didn’t already.
“Are you..” A small frail voice spoke from behind him. Axel turned to face a girl with a small stature, onyx black hair and piercing blue eyes. She had her hand suspended mid air as if hesitant to touch him. Axel doesn’t know the girl. At least he didn’t think so.
“You’re that guy who hangs out with Roxas right?” She asked with a questioning waver. “I am.” At least he thinks he is. He doesn’t recall Roxas leaving his house to be with anyone else and wow if that isn’t a saying a stalker would say then who knows. But he honestly does not recognize her. Is she Roxas’s friend?
“I’ve never seen Roxas so happy to leave his house everyday but I think I know why.” She smiled up at him. “Are you off to see him now?’ She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
“Yeah but I can’t remember his house.” He surveyed the area. The housing look strikingly similar, Axel momentarily cursed whoever designed the street, convinced it was a ploy to trap outsiders such as himself. What a cruel game.
She laughed at his outward confusion. “Yeah it took me a while to get use to it too.” She pointed two houses down. “See the red shades.” At that, he noticed the house was the only one with curtains, dividing it from similitude of the rest. “His house.”
“Thanks um-” He intended to thank her but she was soon gone. He wondered who she was. He made it a goal to thank her if he sees her again but right now he had something to do. Walking up the steps to Roxas’s house was an odd feeling. He ringed the doorbell and waited.
Soon after, the door opened and there he stood. the blonde menace who has utterly taken his devotion. Wearing loose pajamas and having a spoon hanging off the corner of his mouth, Roxas stared at him like he’s seeing him for the first time.
“Look Roxas i know we left off in a bad note but I want to apologize.” Roxas popped the spoon out his mouth, looking at him with an incredulous look but not saying anything, only standing there. His eyes flickered to his sides and he uncomfortably rubbed at his arms.
“Please can we just talk. I don’t want to leave off like we did.” He pleaded because he knew he messed up. He wanted to help and he truly thought he was doing the right thing but maybe he had gone the wrong way about it.
Roxas slowly started backing inside while simultaneously inching the door close.
“Roxas wait!” The door clicked shut and Axel is left feeling dejected but couldn’t blame Roxas for reacting like that.
Then the door opened again revealing Roxas once again wearing different clothing and wearing a surprised mien. “Why are you screaming at my brother?”
Oh.
In retrospect he should have seen that coming.
“First off I wasn't screaming and second you guys really do look alike, that was one hell of a zygote.” Roxas shrugged it off, clearly accustomed to being mistaken as his brother. “What do you want Axel?”
What did he want? Well for starters he wanted to know if he was doing something right and that everything so far wasn’t in vain. He wanted Roxas to be happy with himself. He wanted everything for Roxas. But most of all he just wanted to see him again.
“To apologize.” Roxas laid his head against the door frame and quirked his lips, looking deep in thought. Finally he moved out the way and presented Axel his house. Axel walked in and for the first real time actually takes in the house. Axel made eye contact with Ventus, who not so discreetly peered at them from behind a doorway, probably terrified of Axel. Maybe he should apologize to him. Ventus was a sweet guy. He didn’t deserve any of that.
“Follow me.” He did as told and disappeared into the living room where a piano stood smack in the middle. Roxas slid into the pew beside a piano and scooted. He patted the empty space.
“Are you trying to serenade me?” He couldn't help but crack a joke.
Roxas snickered and kicked off another harsh note. “I know my brother is trying to eavesdrop on us.” The pristine white keys sang with timbre. “This is so he can't hear.” Axel peered around the room trying to catch another glimpse of the sneaky brother when Roxas began speaking to him.
“Are you here for a final saying or something?” At the next piano note, his crescendo increased slightly. Whatever Roxas was playing bordered on melancholy and joy.
“No. I’m sorry for being pushy. I got a little cocky and thought I knew you too well.” He watched as Roxas’s deft fingers flawlessly danced across the keys. “Maybe deep down I did think I was being a hero.”
“Honestly I didn't expect you to come find me. I thought that was it. Speaking of which, how did you find me?” He raised a curious eyebrow at Axel like he’s waiting for him to admit something.
“This girl told me told me. She has dark hair, blue eyes. Really small?” Axel tried his best to describe her but already she was a fleeting memory. “Who was she?”
Roxas looked deep in thought. “She doesn't ring any bells. Maybe someone from school? I don't know. I suppose it doesn't matter.” He solemnly shakes his head. “Anyways people usually stick around until I do something really stupid… Like lose my temper.” His fingering on the keys slip but he quickly regained his momentum.
“But thanks for coming and apologizing though you really shouldn't have.” Axel felt a little apprehensive about what he’s going to say next as it could make or break whatever they had.
“Because I’m the one who should be apologizing. You made me realize that not everyone is selfish and that some people want to make the world better for others.” He motioned at Axel. “You’re a living example.” Axel isn't so sure of the last part but he’s glad he’s done something memorable for him.
“I still stick by what I said. You were right when you said I don't know you but I would like to.” Axel still had a lot to learn if he wanted to be of any use to him. Trouble came easy to him but for once he’d liked to be a solution.
Roxas smiled at that. “I have no objections to that. I do need practice being a good friend.” He scoffed at that. “Though it's way past my prime time for learning.”
“I’m not the best teacher to go off by.” He warned. Roxas shrugged at that and ended his performance with gusto, turning his body to face Axel completely. “I’m not a good student either so I guess we both got stuck in the rut.”
Axel was certain he can teach him a thing or two. After all, time was on his side.