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1. Presents by Blepppppp

   Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)  

   • Not Rated
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Gen
   • Complete Work

   04 Feb 2026

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
   • Original Statement Giver(s) (The Magnus Archives)
   • Basira Hussain
   • Blood and Gore
   • Animal Death
   • Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives)
   • Original Statement (The Magnus Archives)
   • The Hunt Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives)
   • Silly little kitten's silly little murders
   • blood and gore but also some comedy
   • because I'm incapable of keeping things serious
   • improper cat ownership? Lol
   • like the statement giver doesn't make the rational choise when posed with the dilemma of
   • "i love my cat but she might eat me and everyone i love"
   • Crack Fic
   • Absurdist Humour
   • mental breakdowns
   • set around mid season 2 if we're thinking about this too hard
   • Jon actually being kinda nice and helpful for once
   • What Have I Done
   • this is pretty bad please read it
   • author regrets everything
   • Author regrets nothing
   • loose script format
   • me and my unhealthy attachment to italics parentheses dashes and semicolons :)
   • Not Beta Read
   • Not Brit Picked
   • no beta we die like all the animals in this fic lol
   • i promise I'm not a psychopath

   Summary

   Statement of April Kipling, regarding the unusual prey brought home by her pet cat. Statement recorded direct from subject, (some date around early to mid season 2). Statement begins.

    

   Or, every cat owner knows the joys of coming home to find a dead mouse in their home. April just knows this feeling... a little *too* well.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,350

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   6

   Kudos:

   10

   Hits:

   66