Chapter Text
My name is Rachel, just Rachel no last name or at least no last name I’m going to tell you. Normally, I wouldn’t tell you where I live, but I don’t think it matters that much anymore. I mean, you still aren’t getting a city or state out of me. But me? I live at the Gardens now. You know that big amusement park and Zoo?
Yeah, that's my home now. It has to be. I don’t quite remember everything that happened exactly. I mean, I just woke up. What do you want from me!?
I'm sorry... When I get scared, I get mad, and I can honestly say with no exaggeration that I’ve never been more scared in my life. See, after Tobias got trapped, I knew that, realistically, it could happen to any of us. But I knew I couldn’t have it happen to me. I have a horrible fear of losing control. I think that’s why the Yeerks scared me so much.
Not that I needed to worry about the Yeerks anymore.
Let me back up a bit. So, a few days ago, I was here with Cassie on a field trip. Cass was freaking out about her Mom embarrassing her at a presentation she was going to do for us. I sympathized. I really did, but heck, I was just enjoying being out of the classroom. Now… now I’d give anything to be back in my uncomfortable chair, listening to my teacher drone on.
Anyway,
As Cassie moaned about having to transfer schools due to embarrassment, I saw a little kid climbing onto the fence surrounding the Crocodile enclosure. He fell. Cassie told me not to do anything dumb. But if you know me at all, you’d realize that the other option of doing nothing was not going to happen.
So there I was in the pit right next to the kid. He was unconscious but had the attention of several Crocs. But to my surprise, they weren’t coming over to where he lay. That was when I noticed the reason he was being left alone. A fifteen-foot-long croc lying less than a foot away from me and the kid named Tyler.
Only one choice: I had to acquire him before he devoured me or the kid. Well, it turns out that I’m allergic to crocodiles! I mean of all the allergies to have? Still, at least I wasn’t allergic to something I really needed, like my elephant or my grizzly.
At least I wasn’t feeling sick anymore. Good thoughts, Rachel, think good thoughts.
I found out about my allergy after my morphing went all whacked out, and I almost killed my little sisters by morphing Elephant in my bedroom against my will. And then almost got my whole team killed while we were spying on Jeremy Jason McCole. Ax told me I was basically sneezing, and every time I experienced a strong emotion, I’d sneeze IE morph against my will. Jake told me to take it easy, you know, relax in the hotel room, watch TV, and eat room service. Don’t go to school. Just wait until I burped the Croc.
I wish I had listened to him.
Instead, I was so obsessed with the mission that I lied. I told both Cassie and Jake that I had burped the Croc and gave lots of details about what it felt like. I must have been convincing because they believed me. I mean, all I had to do was stay calm, easy right?
If you said yes, then you really don’t know me at all.
When I got to the recording studio with my Dad, I was and wasn’t surprised to see Cassie there. I was, however, surprised to see her Mom! See, Cassie’s mom is the Head Vet at the Gardens. If one of Cassie’s parents were going to be bringing her, I honestly expected her dad. Cassie’s Mom was deep in conversation with a few different men as Cassie hurried over to me.
“Hey, you made it! Hi, Mr. Berenson.” Cassie smiled at my Dad, who smiled back before excusing himself to talk to a producer.
“So?” I asked quietly as we stood away from her Mom, hopefully out of hearing range.
“Ax, Marco, and Jake are all here in insect morphs,” Cassie whispered back to me as I nodded. I wasn’t feeling fantastic. I was a bit sick to my stomach. Nerves, I was sure.
“Why is your Mom here?” I asked as we waited for my Dad to return, and I saw Cassie give a heavy sigh. It was obvious that she was deeply annoyed.
“You know that animal guy Bart Jacobs? The one who is always bringing wild animals onto talk shows?”
I had to think for a moment before I nodded. Yeah, I had seen him on TV a few times. “I take it he's here today?”
“Right, and the studio called my Mom and her team, just in case.” Cassie shrugged.
“Yeah, okay, probably a good idea.” I laughed a bit, but my queasiness was getting worse.
And this is where my memory starts to get fuzzy. I remember being taken to makeup and being annoyed by the makeup artist. That was when Cassie found out I lied about burping the Croc, as I obviously wouldn’t have started morphing wolf under any other circumstance.
We ran into Marco who had decided to acquire Bart Jacob’s llama instead of staying in insect form. He was the next to find out I lied. Luckily, I was able to stay calm even when Cassie came up with the idea that someone needed to acquire me to make sure I was always human. Cassie, of course, acquired me, as I sure as hell wasn’t going to allow Marco anywhere near my DNA.
Things happened, and I realized I was going to burp the Croc. But something went wrong. I don’t know what happened, but as the Croc was growing out of my back and I was morphing, Grizzly Cassie had shut herself into the stall and was morphing into a squirrel. One minute, I was the grizzly, and then I was the Croc!
I… don’t remember a lot, but the Croc had a firm hold on me. I couldn’t even use thought speak to warn Cassie that the bear wasn’t me!
I remember biting down on the bear’s leg and trying to hold it until Cassie’s mom and her team could safely handle it—or until I could eat it? My control at the time was tentative, and it got really bad when Cassie attacked my eyes!
Somehow, the three of us found our way onto the main set, where Jeremy Jason was being interviewed. All I knew was no matter what a jerk he was, I couldn’t let the bear get him… But my eyes were in pain. The bear was trying to attack, and suddenly Marco charged me!
Then I heard Cassie’s Mom’s voice…
“Take the shot!” I felt pain. I felt woozy. Then I felt the weight as several men leaped on my back. I felt tape being wrapped around my snout. I kept trying to thrash, but I couldn’t get enough control to call out. To warn Cassie about the bear, the bear! It’s not me, Cassie!
~Not…~
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I woke up as the tape was being removed from my snout. I was in the Crocodile pit, the same one I’d jumped into just days ago. I stayed still as they released me and climbed off my back. Of course, now I had control. As soon as the men were out of sight, I began to try to demorph. I had to get out of here! I had to get back to the studio!
I reached, and I concentrated, and I tried, and I tried.
Have you ever heard the saying of Crocodile tears? It used to be thought that crocodiles faked emotion by shedding tears for their prey. I don’t know if that's true for other Crocs, but I can tell you this much: When I realized I was trapped? Trapped forever in the body of a fifteen-foot-long crocodile. Trapped in a body that would never be able to fight beside my friends or even help them out like Tobias did.
You better believe I cried. I cried, and I roared, my tail thrashing against the water. Mentally, I screamed, but even in my grief and horror, I didn’t use thought speak. I might be out of the war, but that didn’t mean it was over. Controllers were everywhere. I had to… I had to pretend I was just an ordinary crocodile. Just… let Rachel go do what Tobias did.
I jolted at the thought, remembering what had brought Tobias back—a Hork-Bajir chasing a human. And it almost wasn’t enough. If I let Rachel go, what if another kid like Tyler fell in? There’d be no magic, good crocodile to save them.
No! Absolutely not. That couldn’t be allowed. I had… I had to stay Rachel. No matter what, I had to stay Rachel!
I looked around my new home. The six smaller Crocs were watching me, trying to figure me out. I shivered, thankful that I was so much bigger than them. But I was worried about the other fifteen-foot male. Thankfully, I didn't see him. I guessed he must still be recovering from surgery.
~Okay, Rachel, you’re stuck. This is your new home. Just… make the best of it.~
I found a spot out of the way and out of sight from the humans. The sand was warm, so I laid down, curling my tail around me.
~Just, just go to sleep Rachel. Cassie and the guys will realize something went wrong. You just have to be patient—just rest. Don’t think about what you’ve lost.~
I closed my eyes tight as the tears continued to fall. I fell asleep thinking about my Mother and how much I wanted to be held by her.