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There is absolutely no way in the world, or in any of the planes of existence, that Taako is going to let “Magic” Brian and Jenkins the shit wizard summon something from The Astral Plane before him. That crap is not allowed.
Recently they’ve been making the most unsubtle hints that they’re getting close to it during their shared classes. According to Merle they have been for a while, but half the time when they start talking to him Taako just finds himself zoning out. It's usually about boyfriends or gardens anyway. Well apparently not really, because those two are about to pull off some major wizardry, and Taako still has a little pride. (Sometimes.) If they manage it before he does, he will trade his entire wardrobe with Jenkins.
(Okay, he would never actually trade his wardrobe with Jenkins. Every time he thinks he’s seen the worst tie a new one shows up in a never ending descent of bad taste.)
Luckily, their work is currently stalled because Brian has gone off for a “romantic weekend getaway” with his boyfriend. So all Taako has to do is ignore the rest of his coursework and not hang out with people or cook anything fun and use all the time he would spend not sleeping working on his summoning process. That’s it.
He’s an idiot. Right at this moment he could be out at the party all of his friends are at. He could be vaguely buzzed and maybe hook up with some frat guy and never talk about it again. He could probably call Avi and get to one of the good bases, but then he’d also have another hour of “Why doesn’t Magnus notice me? Why is he so devoted to his girlfriend who is studying abroad?” conversation and that’s the type of thing that ruins afterglow as fast as slamming the oven on a souffle. He could definitely hook up with Klarg, but he’s pretty sure that Klarg has, real, genuine feelings and that wouldn’t be fair. He’ll use Klarg for helping with moving and scaring people away from places where he wants to sit, but Taako won’t use him for sex. His morality isn’t that grey. It’s not like they’re in a BioWare game or something.
He’s an idiot, so instead of getting laid he’s here in his dorm room, drawing a complicated series of sigils on his floor in glittery pink lip pencil.
It shouldn’t work. The arcane symbols are all sloppy as fuck and all his spell slots have been burned for a few hours. He tries a half-assed incantation, and is about to give up and have a short rest and some coffee when he hears a very smooth and very incredulous voice behind him say, “How did you manage to summon me?” Taako turns around to see a middle aged seeming guy who goes beyond obscenely good looking and hits supernaturally so. The guy is staring at his hands like a teen on drugs for the first time. “And in a tangible form too?”
“I just combined a series of arcane command sigils in a summoning symbol that wasn’t any of the first year bullshit and then I pretty much pleaded really hard. You… don’t look like a spirit. I was sort of expecting a glowing ball of light that I could take a picture of and say ‘fake THIS with an instagram filter, dipshits!’ You know. Baby’s first ghost or something.” Okay, so he might be rambling. But things aren’t going according to plan. Maybe he left his dorm room unlocked and someone’s dad, someone’s really, absurdly hot dad, wandered in. And stood in the middle of his summon circle. And gave off the very distinct aura of not actually being human and being really powerful. More powerful than anyone he has ever met. Sure. That totally could have happened.
(Oh shit. He’s not even wearing any makeup beyond yesterday’s smudged eyeliner and his clothes are a mess. Not exactly the impression he wants to make with a guy that handsome, supernatural or not.)
“You went a few steps above and beyond that,” hot not-dad says.
“...Are we talking spirit of someone really important?”
“Think bigger.”
“...Spirit of a really important giant?”
“No, above that.” But it’s too late and Taako is too overwhelmed to process more than ‘hot guy,’ so his brows knit in blank confusion and then… nothing. “Look, I’m the Grim Reaper, okay?”
“Holy fuck,” Taako says, because that’s really all that can be said about it.
“But please call me Kravitz,” and Hot Death Kravitz holds out his hand to shake. He can’t bring himself to leave a guy hanging, and is relieved when he doesn’t die instantly.
“Taako, but you call me any time. Wait, no. Don’t. You’re Death and that’s probably a bad idea.” Not the worst one though because this guy. This guy. It should be illegal for guys this attractive to wear leather gloves. It is probably violating a dozen peace treaties. And now his hand has lingered for way too long, time to drop that. Kravitz clears his throat. (Does he even actually need to do that? Is he just doing it because it’s a thing that he knows mortals do when it gets awkward?)
“Typically it’s customary for the people that actually manage to summon me to make an offering.”
“Look, you seem lovely and all but I have plans for my soul. There are shit wizards for me to best and spells for me to learn and clothes that I would like to wear.”
“I’m not going to take your soul while you’re still alive, that’s kind of tacky isn’t it?” Great, now he’s implied that he thinks Death is a douche. But beyond his soul he doesn’t have too much to offer. Nothing beyond what he would offer to a hot guy on a night stuck in. ...Oh.
“Well... how about a bottle of cheap vodka and a game of strip poker?”
“...Sounds like it might turn out to be a better evening than I thought,” Kravitz says, a slow smile spreading across his face. His teeth are very straight and very white. If he didn’t have a plan forming, Taako would swoon.
The thing that Kravitz doesn’t know is that when it comes to strip poker, Taako plays to lose.
(And he loses superbly.)
Hours later Taako is up in his loft bed getting his half naked cuddle on and checking all the messages he’s missed so far about the party.
“Hey, you mind if I get a little photographic evidence to show Brian and Jenkins and make them absolutely lose their shit?” Maybe his earlier, tipsy explanation of why the summoning happened will have been persuasive. It seems like they really were close to grabbing something. Close enough that it was actually giving Kravitz some trouble with keeping spirits from being freed. And that the whole thing has been dangerously close to necromancy. Oops?
“Fuck those guys,” Kravitz says, putting his arm around Taako. They both look at the phone and smirk, and the pic is about a billion times hotter than it has any right to be. He’s totally screwed, and not even in the fun way, yet. This is definitely going to cause some problems. But that lazy, content smile that Kravitz is making will (probably) make all future drama worth it.
Brian and Jenkins having a fit will just be an added bonus.