Chapter Text
“Zuzu, would you like to get a cart with a race car seat?” Mom smiles down at him, adjusting the purse hanging over her shoulder.
Zane squeezes her hand tighter, content with just holding it, “No Mommy, I’m good.”
She chuckles and pats his head. Warmth spreads from his heart to throughout his being, blooming a wide smile across his pale face.
They step into the store, boring shelves pass by and blur together as he counts each tile he jumps across, and stomps on every black tile he comes across. He’s very good with numbers. He gets to an impressive fifty five, when Mom asks him what cereal he wants.
“Charms, want that one!” he points, rocking back and forth on his feet, “Please Mommy?”
“I would, but Garroth only eats the marshmallows and that isn’t very nutritious.”
His head cocks to the side, “What’s that mean, Mommy?”
“Well, you know how you have to eat your veggies?”
His face scrunches up in disgust, “Bleh.”
“Now, now, Zane. They have good things in them, which make you grow up big and strong. Which is why you should start off your day eating something good.”
“I eat the gross ones too!” he whines, “I eat nute-icious!”
Mom laughs at his suffering, “Okay, okay. We can get the Lucky Charms for you and the Rice Krispies for Garroth.”
His expression of disgust and frustration vanishes into the wind, a grin taking its place, “Thank you Mommy!”
She giggles at him. Why? He’s not sure. She does it a lot. He must be doing something right, “You’re very welcome my little Zuzu.”
Her hand clasps his again and they move on. He goes back to counting tiles.
They stop at the toy aisles, Mom looking down at him with a smile, “I’m thinking, since you’ve been just the most helpful, smartest little man, you could get a toy?”
A new toy? Zane never really gets to pick them out. He likes his toys, they’re fun to throw, but he doesn’t really do a lot with them. Excitement bubbles at the idea of getting to choose whatever he wants.
Chuckling at his enthusiastic nodding, she turns into an aisle, pointing, “Do you want a dinosaur?”
A dinosaur? They’re old and dead and stinky colored.
“No,” he looks around. Lots of toy cars, he already has those. Action figures from shows Garroth likes. When Mom points them out, he shakes his head with disinterest.
After a couple of rows, Mom sighs as they pass by several aisles, saying something about ice cream instead or a stuffed animal but he is distracted instantly as he peers down a brightly colored aisle.
Oooh, colors.
He lets go of Mom’s hand and pads down the aisle. A lot of pink. Dolls, drawing stuff, baby dolls, pink cars, unicorns. He smiles at the unicorn, then pauses. Garroth would think he’s lame. And horses are pretty scary.
“Zane?”
A box finds its way into his hands, he has to stand on his very tippy toes to grab it. Her hair is black like his, and her outfit is very pretty, a nice purple. Her shoes are pink. He wishes he had shoes like that. Zane squints at the label. A… Bar-bye?
“Mommy, what it say?” he pushes the box forth, showing his find off.
“Oh honey, that’s not for you.”
He frowns, refusing to pull it back, in fact, he shakes it to prove his point, “It’s okay Mommy, there’s uh…” he peers at the shelf, then looks back at Mom proudly, “two more.”
“No, Zane. That’s a girl’s toy.”
“Nuh uh. I got it first.”
She sighs. No no, that’s not a good sound. “Those are for little girls. They’re not made for boys. Why do you even want one?”
“I wanna play with the doll,” he retorts. What the poop else are you supposed to do with a toy?
Mom reaches over and takes the box. Gratification befalls him, rightfully so. But instead of it being put into the cart, she returns it to the shelf.
“Mom!?” he exclaims.
“If you want a doll, we can get you an action figure?”
“No! Want Bar-bye doll!”
Mom makes an upset face at him, filling him with shame, “Zane, you do not raise your voice in the store!”
Zane grumbles, then quiets his tone, “You said I could get a toy. I want doll.”
A deep, wrinkling frown overcomes Mom as she ponders her decision. He waits patiently for her to see reason. Besides, if he’s good, she has to get him it!
Mom looks around, as if looking for someone. Who? He follows her gaze. There’s no one there. Then she walks to the far side of the shelf and grabs a doll, the same brand, but a boy one, and holds it out to him, “How about this one, Zuzu?”
“He’s ugly.”
Mom laughs, “Irene, Zane. Whatever am I going to do with you?” as if he’s being the silly one. To his utmost delight, however, she grabs the doll he originally wanted and puts both in, “There. She can be his girlfriend.”
Initially, he goes to complain, but stops. This could work. He can just shave the boy doll and rip off his limbs. Then he’ll have only the one he wants!
“Yes Mommy.”
Victory.
After helping Mom put away the groceries, he dashes upstairs to his room to play with his new favorite toy. The door swings loosely in the air as he shoves past it, sitting down onto the fuzzy carpet.
He turns the box over in his hands. There’s lots of words on the back. He can’t make out some of them. But he gets the gist that she loves fashion, playing with her friends, and that she owns a hair salon. That’s cool. He’d like to be the boss of something, like Dad! It took him a moment to recognize the word salon. Mom loves those. Zane smiles and continues his inspection. He needs to get her out of the box without damaging the back. He wants to learn bigger words and be able to read it all on his own.
Between the front and the cardboard, he’s able to tear the two apart with only minimal damage to the quality. He smirks proudly and sets the plastic part aside. He bites his cheek in frustration as he discovers the little ties holding her arms and legs and neck in place. He tries tugging but it just makes the cardboard tear. He huffs and makes a decision.
Garroth’s allowed to have big boy scissors. So Zane will just have to steal them.
He sets his doll down and pushes himself to his feet. It is time for a very secret super stealth mission.
Zane pads down the hall as quiet as he is able, and peaks around the corner of Garroth’s wide open door. The TV’s on, and a bag of chips is left on the floor, but he’s not there. Score.
He makes himself right at home, snagging a chip and scavenging his desk. Aha! He grins at his masterful find. Mission accomplished. Now to just get back to—
“Haha!” Garroth laughs in the doorway.
Zane yelps. startling at the noise and nearly falls off the chair. Turning back, he sees that in Garroth’s hands, is his new toy.
“Hey! That’s mine!”
Garroth giggles, “You got a girl toy, you got a girl toy.”
Zane stamps his foot, then rushes towards his brother, “Give it back!”
Garroth holds it high above his head, “Ha you’re short! Zane likes dolls! Zane likes dolls! Zane likes dolls!”
Frustration fills his entire being. What is with his family today? He just wants his toy! He yells as such as he reaches helplessly for it.
Garroth suddenly makes a break down the hall, calling back, “Come get me, baby brother!”
I’m not a baby!
Zane runs as fast as he can after him, still clutching the scissors.
Garroth jumps down the stairs, skipping every step or two. Not fair. Zane isn’t big or tall enough to do that yet. Or brave enough.
They wind up sprinting through the living room and down a hall, where they both bump into Dad. Zane’s too angry to care.
“What the—”
“Give it back!” Zane yells through his panting, finally able to catch up to Garroth.
“Finders keepers, losers weepers!” Garroth sticks his tongue out.
All of that mounting frustration and helpless agony culminates in one, loud, and very long, ear piercing screech from Zane. Garroth cringes, covering his ears.
“Enough!” Dad shouts, silencing them both, “Now what exactly are you boys goofing about?”
“He stole my toy!” Zane exclaims.
“I was gonna give it back!” Garroth whines and hands it back to Zane.
But before Zane can snatch it up and hold it close to his chest in defense, Dad takes it.
“Irene, where did this come from?”
Zane knows that one! He answers dutifully, “I was being Mommy’s helper so I got a toy.”
“Really, Zianna?” Dad mutters to himself. Does he think they can’t hear him?
Speak and she shall appear, Mom steps into the hallway, dusting her hands off on her jeans, “Awh, what’s going on?”
“Zianna did you seriously get our son a Barbie doll?” Dad holds up the offending item.
Ohhh. Barbie. Is that her name? Or her friend’s name?
Mom purses her lips. Uh oh, that does not mean good things, “He’s six, Garte.”
“Exactly. Impressionable.”
Zane perks up, “What’s that word mean?”
Dad ignores him. He doesn’t ask again.
Mom sighs, “He doesn’t know any better. In a year or two he’ll get over it and start getting toys he’ll actually enjoy.”
But I like her. She’s pretty, and responsible, and has nice hair, like me, or Mommy. I’d like to do her hair like Mom does mine.
Garroth nudges him, making Zane scowl. His brother says with a smile, “She can be my action figure’s big sister. My friend Jaxson has a big sister and she’s really cool.”
Dad argues, “I am not going to raise my son like this.”
“Irene have mercy, it’s one doll, Garte!”
“It was zero, until you got him that crap.”
“He wanted it.”
“You’re the parent, not him!”
Mom throws her hands into the air, “Just let it go!”
Dad’s face is very unhappy, and a little scary. But he stops being loud, “Irene, fine. Zane, go to your room,” he holds out Zane’s doll.
Zane is very happy to just take it and go hide away in his bedroom to play. Then Garroth pipes up and ruins everything, “But Dad, he didn’t do anything wrong. We were playing.”
It is at that moment, where Dad sees the scissors.
“Zane!” he shouts, “How many times has your mother told you to not run with scissors!?”
“Zero—” cause Garroth is always the one doing it—
“Do not smart mouth me!”
Zane shrinks back, clutching the scissors tighter, as if they could defend him.
“Oh Zane!” Mom leans down and pries them from his hands, “You could’ve really hurt yourself or your brother. Now why were you—”
Dad shoves the half opened doll box under his arm, horribly creasing the backing of it. Before Zane can protest, he states, “You are grounded. You can get this back when you’ve learned your lesson.”
Mom rubs her hand over her face, “Garte…”
“Now go to your room,” Dad orders.
Zane stands there quietly. He stares at his new toy, taken away. He didn’t even get to run his fingers through her hair, or get her name. Zane turns on his heel and clambers back up the stairs and into his room. The plastic of the packaging is still in the center of the room, mocking him. With a sudden flood of rage he kicks it, yelling into the air. And after all of that, what else is left? That stupid boy doll with the stupid ugly hair.
It ends up in the trash. But not before he melts its face, rips off its limbs, hangs it from the ceiling fan with a phone charger, and shaves its head.
A week later, he hears Mommy and Dad arguing.
And a month later, he asks, “Mommy, what happened to my Barbie doll?”
Something ugly and sad fills his Mom’s expression, “Oh sweetheart… Well, Daddy made a mistake, and he accidentally mixed up the doll with the um, recycling. And he only realized what he did when it was already gone.”
Zane nods, accepting it. That awful, ugly seething rage is held beneath the surface — for now, at least. Because he’s too sad to do anything useful about it. Like getting revenge.
He goes to his room and slams the door, before curling up in bed.
Mom and Dad’s word is law. And the newest law has not only been drafted, but passed.
Boys don’t get girl toys. They aren’t made for them.