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Fuck them. Fuck Heaven. Fuck Hell. Fuck everyone that let him be taken to Heaven! What the fuck were Valentino and Velvette thinking?! Fuck them. And to think that he wanted this before- and he still did! But in a different way, not in a way where he was kept fucking prisoner inside of a polished, golden cell where you can actually see fucking light from outside!
No, no. He wanted to be out there, walking amongst the residents of Heaven, watching them bow to him and him only. But noooo, instead, here he was, in Heaven itself, bound by their stupid shitty ropes, forced to watch everyone have the time of their fucking lives while he rotted away.
And where the fuck was that stupid seraphim that helped destroy his angelic weapon?! She had been right fucking there, wearing that shit-eating small “it’s going to be okay, trust me” smile. And to reply to that, NO. VOX WAS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY. AND HE WAS NOT GOING TO TRUST THAT BITCH. Saying “Trust me” had been his catchphrase, and it almost seemed mocking how the seraphim seemed to say that just by smiling at him.
Did anyone here know who the fuck he was? How big of a fucking deal he used to be in Hell? Obviously, no one had seen a Voxtek TV, or a Voxtek Spy Drone, or how so many souls used to adore him. He was Vox himself, the literal MEDIA OVERLORD, ONE OF THE VEES, in the flesh, and Heaven dared treat him like this?!
They had ruined everything. Everyone had ruined everything. He almost had Alastor, almost got the Radio Demon himself to frown. He didn’t fucking CARE if he died, he didn’t fucking CARE if he took all of Hell and Heaven with him. He just wanted to see Alastor frown for once. To wipe that stupid shit-eating, smug fucking grin off of his face. The grin that Alastor had worn when he ruined everything between them.
He was seriously about to start scratching a drawing of Alastor into the marble wall next to him- obviously to yell at or something, NOTHING ELSE, YOU DIRTY MINDED FREAKS-, when the door to the room(cell?) swung open. He turned around to face it, standing up immediately and crossing his arms behind his back, only to be met with a 5’6” seraphim- for reference, he stood at around 7”-. Specifically the one that gave him a wannabe comforting smile that absolutely did not help at all.
“Hiiii! Vox, right? You’re sort of our second resident from Hell, except you weren’t really redeemed.. Hmm, I’ll have to think about that later I guess- BUT!! I’m still going to check in on you every day and stuff, and we can try to get to the bottom of your.. uh.. Emotional problems?” She trailed off a bit as Vox gave her a stare that could turn her to stone if he looked at her with slightly more intensity behind it.
“Emotional problems? Please. Spare me the rainbows and sunshine, Seraphim.” Vox said smoothly, almost as if it was practiced- which it definitely wasn’t by the way, nope- raising an eyebrow at her. She had to be kidding, right? She wanted to give him what was basically therapy??
“Well, I brought in something for our first session-” She continued, choosing to ignore Vox’s negative remark. “-PANGOLINS!!”
“-The fuck is a pangolin?” Vox asked bluntly, obviously not impressed at all.
He soon found out, as the seraphim- Emily, or something?- pulled out a creature that Vox could only describe with one word- hideous.
If Vox had a nose, he definitely would have scrunched it up when Emily sat down criss-cross apple sauce- psh, pathetic-, and motioned for him to sit down as well. Which he did. Because whatever, he had been doing exactly that for the last few hours.
“Sooo..” Emily started, placing the ‘Pangolin’ down on the floor. “I was thinking, maybe today we can just focus on getting to know each other more?”
Vox, however, was not paying attention in the slightest. No, he was eyeing that pangolin so suspiciously that you would think that it murdered his entire family, along with all of his friends and people that held meaning to him- which, by the way, totally didn’t exist. Nope. Not at all-.
And then it crawled towards him.
It crawled towards him.
Vox backed up so fast while somehow still maintaining a sitting position that he hit the back of his screen on the wall behind him, the rope on his neck going slack(it was attached to the wall he moved towards). And the scream that exploded from him was indescribable. It was one of a five year old screeching in pure terror if they were to watch The Exorcist.
He actually screamed loud enough to make Emily flinch, before regaining her composure and cooing, “Awww! I think he likes you!!” as the pangolin continued to advance toward Vox, who currently looked like a rabid, cornered animal.
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE HOW MUCH THAT THING LIKES ME, GET IT THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME,” Vox snarled, his voice rising to a fever pitch.
Emily, who finally sensed that maaaaybe Vox didn’t really like the pangolin that much, leaned forward and grabbed it before it could advance on the sinner even further.
Vox almost immediately snapped back to his ‘all business, don’t joke around with me or I will have your head for dinner’ demeanor as soon as the pangolin was removed from the situation, moving back to where he was previously sitting and folding his clawed hands neatly in his lap. “AhEM- My… apologies. I may have gotten a bit.. ugh.. spooked.. about that.. that thing.”
Emily just laughed cheerfully in response, the pangolin in her lap, and Vox took offense to that, although he would never admit it, obviously. “Of course! It’s fine, no worries! This is a safe space to express yourself freely, Vox.” She chirped, successfully missing the flash of disgust that flickered across Vox’s screen for a moment.
“Well, to get on with this session,” Emily said innocently, shifting her position to sit on her knees with her hands folded neatly in her lap, mirroring Vox’s position.
“My name’s Emily, but I’m sure you already knew that..” She said cheerfully, earning a flat “Mhm” from the Media Overlord in front of her.
“I like.. Spreading joy in Heaven, my favourite colour is anything that’s saturated, I like most things that are sweet, and my hobbies are drawing and making people happy!” Emily exclaimed, her wings flapping happily behind her. “Now, your turn! Say some stuff about yourself!!”
“I like..” -Vox paused to take a deep breath and make sure he was composed, yep, composed and calm..- “I like.. sharks.” He said simply, somehow managing to keep his tone emotionless and flat in front of what appeared to be a sugary ball of sunshine.
“Well, that’s a great start!” Emily giggled, looking up at Vox, whose eye was twitching a bit. Funny!- They were only five minutes- maybe less?- into the session.
“Do you… Maybe want to talk about sharks for the rest of our session today?” she asked tentatively, like she wasn’t sure if Vox was going to bite her or not.
“..Sure,” Vox said, his tone still unenthusiastic but with at least a tiny bit more life behind it.
The room was silent for a few awkward moments, before Vox piped up again. “Did you know that the only kind of shark that can survive in fresh water for periods of time are bull sharks?”
Emily’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second because WHOAH the sinner in front of her just opened up a bit- before she regained her composure and responded. “Oh! No, I didn’t know that, actually! Tell me more!”
Vox wasted no time explaining why: “It’s actually because they basically collect salt in their bodies and put it to use when they encounter water with less salt. It’s a process called osmoregulation.”
Emily squealed excitedly, before tilting her head at Vox. “Wow, you really do seem to know a lot about sharks, Vox!” She remarked, her eyes sparking with barely retained curiosity and excitement threatening to boil over.
“Uh.. yeah.” Vox said uncomfortably, because shit, had he opened up too much already? “I.. liked sharks a lot when I was alive, and I guess that sorta carried over to Hell even after I died..” He explained, thinking about showing her his gills for a moment before banishing the thought from his head.
Yeah, no, that was never happening, that was way too personal. Only Valentino and Velvette knew- and maybe Alastor, if the Radio Demon still remembered with that annoyingly long memory of his- but that was besides the point.
Emily gave a little excited “ooh!”, snapping Vox out of his train of thought with a confused “huh?”, her wings flapping behind her excitedly. She opened her mouth to say something, before stopping, checking her non-existent watch on her wrist before piping up again. “I think we’re out of time, I told Abel I’d help him with something later-!”
To say the least, Vox was pretty relieved. At first, he had been angry at Emily, then wary, and then flat-out uncomfortable. “Damn,” he said simply, the word slipping out before he could moderate it to something more.. Appropriate for the setting.
“Well, I’ll come back tomorrow!” Emily chirped, already standing up and moving towards the door. “It was nice meeting you- or uh- it was nice actually talking with you!” she said, before disappearing through the door and closing it behind her, leaving the restrained sinner alone in his cell with only his (rather intrusive) thoughts.
“Well.. fuck.”