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xinlong is lying on his side, scrolling on his phone when he mentions it.
he means to be casual, his tone light and sweet, because he doesn't want to put any pressure on geonwoo. to make it seem as if this is anything other than a friendly, first meeting with his parents as they prepare for what really matters—their first real stage as a group. to make it seem as if he expects anything from geonwoo at all.
"oh, hyung, my parents want to come and see me."
he swallows thickly. he's too nervous to lift his gaze, so he continues to scroll. he hovers on a tweet about the two of them, before he exits the app.
geonwoo perks up at this information, pulling his earbud out, "they're coming over?"
"i think so. my mom cooked some dishes, and she wants me to share them with everyone," xinlong smiles fondly as he reads her message, "she says they're good for replenishing energy."
"ahh, that really sounds delicious." but his face betrays his words. "now? they're coming now?"
xinlong feels a pang of guilt as he watches geonwoo hurry to pull on a sweater and toss his leftover takeout in the trash. maybe he shouldn't have said anything. he could've slipped out of their room and met his parents in the lobby of the hotel, instead of becoming the cause of the tension building in the small room. a question goes left unsaid. geonwoo won't say it, but xinlong knows he's wondering.
how should geonwoo introduce himself?
they're not quite lovers. the nature of their job won't allow for that, but they aren't just friends, either. the fading marks littered along the skin beneath xinlong's shirt proves that.
xinlong tells himself that all he needs from geonwoo is geonwoo by his side.
he asks for nothing in return.
as idols, under the harsh scrutiny of the public, he can't risk wanting more than a few hurried kisses in the quietest corners of the company building, nor can he ask for more than the hands that knead his quivering body as he lets out a low whimper and presses his cheek into the crook of geonwoo's neck.
he can't become selfish. this is enough. what they have, in secret, is enough.
and yet.
"i think they're on their way. sorry for the late warning." he bites his cheek. "you don't have to come out of the room, though. i can meet them downstairs if you're tired."
geonwoo jerks his head up and looks at xinlong like he's gone crazy. "long-ah. of course i'm going to meet them."
"okay."
the room goes quiet again.
eventually, geonwoo plops down in front of xinlong, his hands hidden behind his back. there is a pretty flush running across his skin, from his ears all the way down his neck. xinlong wants to press his lips to the pulse there, to bite and leave a trace of himself on geonwoo's body. he wants to prove that this is real, tangible, and not some sick dream to be taken from him once he wakes up.
but instead, he blinks slow. "geonwoo hyung?"
geonwoo averts his eyes as he speaks, his voice shaking a little. "i really wanted to do this at a better time, but i want to be able to show your parents too. only if you're okay with it." geonwoo takes xinlong's hand in his, gently rubbing tiny circles with his thumb. he opens his other palm to reveal a small box.
the box is plain, nothing written on the outside to indicate what it is or where it's from, but xinlong immediately knows. he swallows.
"longie, if you keep staring at me like that i'm going to die of embarrassment before i can meet your parents." geonwoo buries his face in his hands, peering at xinlong through the cracks of his fingers. "just open it. please."
he feels a warm pressure build behind his eyes, and he wonders if he's about to cry.
geonwoo's going to laugh at him again if he does, wiping his tears with a teasing grin like he did when they debuted together. "you're a crybaby." his tone is fond. xinlong flushes as he presses closer to geonwoo beneath the sheets. "who's fault is that?" he retorts, chewing his lip. geonwoo laughs, and xinlong feels the vibrations against his ribcage. the box shakes in his hold as the memory unfolds, and he opens it with trembling fingers.
inside the box sits two silver rings.
they aren't flashy, just two simple, ordinary bands, but xinlong notices an engraving on the inside. one ring reads, kgw, and the other reads, hxl. they're matching. a set to be worn together.
geonwoo takes one of the bands and slides it onto xinlong's ring finger.
"honestly, there's a lot i can't promise you. things you deserve to hear that i'm not yet ready to say." he offers the box to xinlong, gesturing for him to do the same with the other ring. "i want to confidently tell you that this doesn't need to be a secret, and that i'm not afraid. but i am."
through his blurry vision, xinlong slips the second band onto geonwoo's finger.
"i've seen what the industry can do to its idols. its trainees. and i think i'm still afraid of how people see me." geonwoo's voice is barely above a whisper now, but this is the clearest he's ever sounded to xinlong. "i know this is just a small gesture. but i want you to know that you're important to me. as much as i want this dream to work out, i want to do it together with you, long-ah."
tell him, he thinks. tell him it's okay if you remain a secret. if the world never knows.
but the words that tumble past his lips are, "... will it be okay if i tell my parents?"
his heart drops. he's asking something selfish. something too indulgent, too risky. something that he can only ask for in his dreams. this should be the part where geonwoo gently lets him down, reminds him of who they are—who they should be as idols. as two men, whether in korea or china.
but instead, geonwoo just leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek, the shape of his lips familiar. "yes. that's why i want you to have this now. i want to show your parents that i'm serious. so they don't have to worry about how you're doing in korea anymore. they'll know i'm here to take care of you."
xinlong's screen lights up. it's a text from his mom.
geonwoo offers him a hand and pulls him up from the floor. wiping the tears from xinlong's eyes, geonwoo grins and pulls him into his arms. "hurry up. your boyfriend's ready to meet his parents in law."
their fingers brush against each other, and xinlong feels the weight of the metal against his skin. a satisfied warmth blooms in his chest when he nods.
"you still need their permission first, hyung."
geonwoo laughs.