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Shane wasn't sure how they had ended up in this situation. He had just been wondering where the rest of his household had gone. Really the loud noises and excited barking should have given it away. He had thought that Ilya and Anya were on a jog, but evidently he was incorrect.
He didn’t know what his husband was doing upstairs but he had a nagging inclination that it was going to cause him distress.
Which is why when he walked into a bathroom plastered with soap and mud to find Ilya naked except for underwear in the walk-in shower with a dog that resembled his beloved Anya except that she was completely brown instead of her normal black and white, he was quite surprised. Even more alarming was Albert, the kitten, trying to climb up the glass wall to join them both in the shower. Due to physics far outside of Shane and Albert's comprehension, it wasn't working. But that didn’t stop him from trying, or Shane from panicking. The other month Albert had been distressed when his dads were in the bath and had decided to monitor them, only to leap into the bath seemingly thinking the mountain of bubbles was solid. Needless to say, Shane did not want the little kitten anywhere near water.
Which led him back to the problem at hand. Namely a huge mess and mostly naked husband, who appeared to be trying and failing to clean their dog.
“Ilya. Why are you naked?” Shane asked, scooping Albert up in one arm and retreating away from any spray of mud or soap.
“You know, years ago I couldn’t imagine you ever complaining about that.”
“Ilya.”
“I figured it made more sense. It seemed wrong to get into the shower with socks on. Or pants.” He looked up and squinted at Shane through the fogged up glass. Anya was trying to bite the water. Given that chaos was typically Ilya’s field of specialty, and that Shane was dry and happy, he was going to make a quick exit. But Ilya must have sensed this intent, and decided that wasn’t going to happen.
Ilya flung open the shower door, releasing Anya who sprinted for Shane. Shane quickly dropped Albert over his shoulder to protect him from the incoming deluge. Anya leaped for Shane with all her muddy joy evident, just as Ilya pointed the handheld shower head at Shane and Anya, catching both of them.
“Ilya!” Shane shrieked. “You asshole.” Anya had leapt into his arms and was eagerly licking his face. Albert wisely had scampered off. Shane closed the door and waddled gingerly trying not to slip on anything to the shower. He deposited Anya gently on the floor before stepping into the shower with his evil menace of a husband. The shirt he had been wearing was already a muddy mess, he figured he might as well give Ilya a taste of his own medicine.
Anya yipped with excitement, once again trying to eat the water. Ilya raised an eyebrow at Shane, before smirking and lifting the shower head to soak him.
Shane spluttered for a second before he lunged forward and began wrestling Ilya for control of the water. Ilya was pretty sure he was going to get a black eye out of this situation, despite Shane almost never fighting anyone on the ice, off the ice with his husband he seemed pretty happy to brawl with his husband in the shower. Ilya relinquished his grip on the water and allowed Shane a moment to soak him, as if he wasn't already completely drenched and covered in mud.
“Seriously Ilya, how could you think this was the best plan?” He said kneeling down to begin actually helping to rinse off Anya.
His husband looked sheepish, “I didn’t want to make a mess again.”
Shane sighed, he supposed there was logic to everything Ilya had done. “Oh I wish I had gotten a picture to send to the team.” He muttered.
Ilya wiggled his eyebrows, “you want to send them a picture of me mostly naked? Shane!”
“Ilya they see you actually naked every single day.” Shane grabbed the doggy shampoo and began lathering Anya up. The mud had really done a number on the white parts of her coat, and the white of his shirt.
His husband hummed, before helping him. Together they made quick work of the rest of the bath, before toweling her off. Anya was pretty tolerant of all things bath, but she actively loved this part, wiggling under the towel and excitedly barking at her dads. Ilya’s eyes sparkled like they hadn’t in weeks, and Shane couldn’t resist leaning down and giving her a kiss right between the eyes.
“Thank you for all you do for him.” He whispered into her scruff, hugging her briefly. Like most dogs Anya was adamantly against human style hugs, so he released her quickly, but his gratitude remained, glowing in his chest. He could only guess how much she helped Ilya chase the clouds of his mind away every day.
They released Anya back into the rest of the house, hearing her yipping excitedly when she encountered Albert. Shane smiled and turned to Ilya, “so why was she covered in mud?”
Ilya and Anya had been going on a nice jog around the neighborhood. She was pretty active and needed a lot of exercise, which was fortunate for her because her parents were both professional athletes.
Ilya started them off at an easy pace, since Anya tended to get ahead of herself and start out too fast. But very quickly they ended up both running at max speed, which was much faster for Anya than Ilya. But hey on ice he could beat her, she got her skating abilities from her other dad.
They reached the park where Ilya typically let her off leash and she began to lose her mind. It had rained the night before and Anya was clearly enjoying the cacophony of smells. Coming out of the dead sprint and dropping into a casual jog, Ilya dropped the lease and let Anya take off into the middle of the clearing. Typically she would have sniffed around him before bringing a stick for him to throw about for a bit. However the moment he let her go she bolted with more speed than he had ever seen. Ilya cursed and took off after her.
There was clearly a scent she had caught, Ilya and Shane weren’t sure what kind of mutt exactly she was, but now despite how good she was with Albert, it was clear to Ilya she had some kind of hunting dog in her blood. There was something small and gray staying just ahead of Anya’s frantic paws. It was too large to be a squirrel and too long to be a rabbit.
“Anya!” Ilya yelled, with all the remaining air in his lungs. “Stop!”
Anya continued without paying him any attention, clearly in her rebellious teenage years. But the park wasn’t infinite and Ilya was terrified she would run in front of a car in pursuit of this creature. The park was also more lake than field at the moment, as the melting snow of the winter flooded everything in sight. They were well into mud season and Ilya was dreading what Shane would do if he let Anya just run around the house like this.
Luckily for him, whatever it was ran up to a tree and scampered up it with grace. As it did Ilya saw a long fluffy tail. It landed gracefully on the first branch, a few feet above Ilya’s head and made the second strangest sound Ilya had ever heard from Canadian wildlife. There was something very wrong with the nature in this country, give Ilya a straight forward bear break in any day.
He came to a halt next to Anya who was barking and jumping like crazy at the base of the tree. Gingerly he grabbed her collar and clipped the lease back on. “No more for you young lady! And I think we might need to set some ground rules!”
Ilya looked up in the tree, squinting slightly at the furry little creature. It wasn’t a cat either. It was a fox? But he had never heard of one climbing. And it was a light gray in color. It yipped at him looking offended by the whole situation and scampered further into the tree.
“Canadian animals even wrong color.” He muttered. “Come on you rascal, let's go give you bath.” The two of them walked home, because after a workout, a jog, and now a full out sprint for his life Ilya was ready to take the world's most incredible nap. He wondered if he could convince Shane to join him and figured that telling him he was the better napper would probably be a good start.
“Did you know Canadian fox can climb trees?” Ilya asked his husband as they both changed into comfortable clothing.
Shane furrowed his brows, and Ilya smiled, proud to have known some weird science fact that his husband hadn’t. Shane may have read a lot of boring books but Ilya got to experience each messed up sounding animal in this country first hand. Seriously no one warned him about how awful coyotes sounded. The first time in the cabin they had heard them, Shane had had to stop Ilya from calling 911 and telling them a woman was dying in the woods.
“No?” Shane asked, “what does that have to do with Anya’s adventure?”
“Anya made new friend today. She is not a tree climber.” Ilya flopped down onto the bed and patted the space next to him.
Shane rolled his eyes and probably would have listed the eight hundred things he planned to get done today but when he went to open his mouth he yawned instead.
Ilya smiled, he had all the best ideas. He pressed a kiss to the back of Shane's neck as his husband made himself comfortable. Albert, in classic cat fashion, had a sixth sense for napping and quickly made himself comfortable in Shane’s arms, while Ilya wrapped himself around both of them. Anya leaped into bed, temporarily causing more chaos, and still slightly damp smelling unpleasantly like the wet dog she was. But she flopped herself down at Ilya and Shane's feet and was soon snoring away.
It was a pretty perfect way to end a chaotic afternoon, Ilya thought as he drifted off to sleep. He loved his little family with all his heart. He squeezed Shane tighter to his chest and thought of how lucky he was to have made the choices that lead him to this moment, even if some of them had hurt in the moment.