Work Text:
I am sorry, but you should not have looked at this.
Now everything must disappear, which is a pity,
Still, do you not wonder what the right choice in this was?
I know you looked because you wished for love to triumph,
Even when triumph looks likes this.
I know you looked because you were afraid,
And fear to lose everything is not a coward’s fear.
I know you looked because obedience is not a force that binds you,
When you hear the sound of pain behind you,
A pain you wish to end.
Or maybe you looked because you doubted.
Looked because you know that love is but a diversion of the mind afraid of death,
Doubted that it is capable of passing
Through sinew and bone,
Through cartilage and fluid.
Ἐγὼ ἀεί ᾔδειν ὅτι ἥξεις.
Ὡς οἶδα τοῦτο οὐκ ἐστὶν ἀποτέλεσμα τῆς σοῦ ἀσθενείας,
Οὐδὲ ἀπιστίας, οὐδὲ φθόνου, οὐδὲ μισανθρωπίας ἐπιθυμίας.
Ἐγὼ γὰρ ἑώρακα τὴν σὴν καρδίαν, τὸν ἁπαλὸν λειμῶνα τὸν κλινόμενον τοῖς πλανημένοις ἀνέμοις.
Ἀλλ’ ὡς ποτὲ ἐρρέθη, ἡ πρώτη σου διάνοια δεῖ εἶναι
«Πάντ’ ἐν παντὶ λόγῳ ψεύδονται.»
Ἐκεῖνος ὁ ἄγριος ἀνήρ ὃς κατῆλθεν εἰς τὰ βάθη τοῦ Ἅιδου, ἔτι φέρων τὰς τοῦ πολέμου κορυφάς,
Αἱ χεῖρες αὐτοῦ ἔτι ἐβάπτοντο ἐν αἵματι ἀθώων, ἀλλ’ ἐν τῷ ὀφθαλμῷ αὐτοῦ
Ἡ λάμψις τοῦ νικητοῦ
Ἔφη μοι οὐχ ἡγεῖσθαι ἑαυτὸν ἄγριον,
Ἀλλὰ πολεμιστὴν τοῦ βασιλέως αὐτοῦ, ἄνδρα πορευόμενον ὑπὸ τὸν χρύσειον ἥλιον αὐτοῦ,
Καὶ ὡς τοὺς ἥρωας οὓς ἡ μήτηρ αὐτοῦ ᾖδει αὐτῷ ἐν τῇ λίκνῃ,
Καὶ οἱ διδάσκαλοι ἀνέμνησαν μετ’ ἀφύσου στοργῆς,
Ἐνεφύτευσαν αὐτῷ ἐκ νεότητος πόθον πρὸς τὴν ἄλογον ταύτην βίαν.
Ἐλάλησέ μοι γλώσσῃ παλαιᾷ, καὶ εἶπεν ὅτι ἡ ὁδὸς αὐτοῦ ἦν ἀμήχανος μακρά,
Ὅτι διήει διὰ τῆς ἐρήμου ἕως οὐρανὸς καὶ γῆ εἰς ἕν ἐγένοντο,
Ὅτι ἐν ταῖς ὁδοῖς αὐτοῦ ἀπώλεσεν πλείω ἢ τὴν ἀρετὴν ἣν ἔχαιρεν ἐν τῇ οἰκίᾳ,
Ἐν τῷ λόγῳ αὐτοῦ ἐμνήσθη ἀπείρων ἀμμόλοφων, ἀλλὰ καὶ θαλασσῶν,
Ἀπείρων δρυμῶν, ὀρέων παγερῶν,
Ὡς εἰ μὴ ἦν πενθῶν χήρος τὸν κόσμον μόνος βαίνων,
Ἀλλ’ ὁδοιπόρος μεγάλης προαιρέσεως,
Ἢ οὕτως αὐτὸν ἐνόμιζεν εἶναι, ἐν τῇ ταλαιπωρίᾳ αὐτοῦ.
Ἐπὶ πολλὰς ὥρας αὐτὸς κἀγὼ ἐλέγομεν,
ἐν ἐρημίᾳ πίνoντες καὶ ἐσθίοντες τὰ ἐμὰ δῶρα, εἰδότες ὅτι δόλος ἦν·
ὅμως δεῖ αὐτὸν εἰδέναι τί μέλλει, ὅταν εἰς τὴν βασιλείαν τῆς νυκτὸς εἰσέλθῃ.
Εἶδον τοὺς νευρώδεις βραχίονας αὐτοῦ τὴν ἰσχὺν ἀποβαλόντας ὡς ἐν γήρᾳ,
ἡ δὲ χροιὰ τοῦ δέρματος ἀπέβαλεν, καὶ οἱ δάκτυλοι τὴν αἴσθησιν, καὶ οἱ θρὶξες ἐξέπεσον ἐν θυσάνῃσιν,
Λέπρας ὁμοιότητα ἔχοντες.
Ἦν γὰρ αὐτοῦ ἐνθάδε, ὡς εἶπεν, ὅτι ἡ ἐμὴ ἀγάπη τὸν θνητὸν κόσμον ἀπέλιπεν,
Ἐκ τοῦ ἄνθους τοῦ βίου πρόωρον ἐξῃρέθη, καὶ πᾶσαι αἱ ὄνειροι καὶ ἐννοίαι καὶ εὐχαί αὐτῆς
ἐν θανάτῳ κατεποντίσθησαν, ὧν τὰ ἠχῆ ἴσως
ἔτι ἠχεῖ ἐν τῷ νοῒ αὐτοῦ ὡς τὸ κτύπημα τοῦ πολεμικοῦ τυμπάνου.
Ἐθεώρουν ὡς οἱ δύο αὐτῶν πάλιν συνελθόντες, ἐν τινι τῶν ἀπωτάτων ἀγρῶν τῆς γῆς ταύτης.
Ὁμοίωμα τοῖς Κρεμαστοῖς Κήποις οὓς ποτὲ ἐπεσκέψαντο.
Μνήμη τοσοῦτον καλὴ ὡς ἦν φάρμακον ταῖς ἀλγούσαις ψυχαῖς αὐτῶν.
Καὶ ἔγνων δεῖν ἀπολῦσαι αὐτούς, ἐὰν ἐκεῖνος πάλιν τὴν ἀγάπην αὐτοῦ ἀποδείξῃ.
Νῦν ἴδε, Ὀρφεὺς Νικηφόρος,
Ὁ φέρων τὸν Ἀσκληπιοῦ σήμα ἐπὶ τῷ στέρνῳ σου.
Ὁ προσέρχεται μοι οὐ μετὰ ἡρωικῶν ἔργων οὐδὲ λαφύρων πολέμου,
ἀλλὰ καρδίαν ἣ οὐκ ἐθέλει κτυπεῖν ἐν ἀπουσίᾳ τῆς μεγάλης ἀγάπης.