Chapter Text
He was staring at the sky, full of shooting stars. Oh, how he wished his wish became true just by telling these twinkling stars what he desired.
It wasn’t a movie.
It wasn’t a series.
It wasn’t a book.
It was reality,
and it hits
hard.
There is nobody to save him from this cruel world, why does it have to be so difficult for him?
He couldn’t love his brother,
couldn’t appreciate others.
He couldn’t love her.
And now he is left staring at these stars who have lied to everyone. And now? He knows the truth about them.
The tears fell down, his exterior falling off.
He couldn’t hold it inside.
It’s too much for him.
He just can’t.
He wanted to be there for her, but he couldn’t. He craves her smile, but now its vanishing day by day. Everything is crashing, his world is getting crushed. He couldn’t follow his dreams; he couldn’t do anything. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t how. Maybe for the first time in his life,
He needs help.
Comfort.
A smile.
From her.
He walks down the familiar pathway. The one which he crossed with his lovely little brother, he wants to see him rise and someday become better than he is now.
He wants him to be a better person than him.
A better brother.
A better lover.
A better friend.
A better player.
His ways turned out harsh, which he feels sorry about. But now? It’s too late.
He remembers,
Walking behind her.
Hands in pocket.
Watching her skipping while clearly being lost in thoughts she would share with him. Always gripping the straps of her bag while she skipped, smiling as though that smile alone could mend every sorrow in the world,
Well at least, for him it could.
Her ridiculous rainbow socks with sunflowers indeed looked foolish, but they always warmed his heart like butterflies in a garden. There was something so free about the way she wore them, as if all she wanted was comfort, to match her playful, slightly colourful aura. It felt unmistakably her.
In that moment, it was as though he could finally let his guard down and simply take her in, capturing the essence of her beauty not through a camera, but with his own eyes; watching the way she looked beneath the golden light
Utterly perfect.
Why wouldn’t she?
Even if she complained about being not slim,
Not pretty.
Not symmetric.
Not being able to blend into other.
Not being able to be bets at something.
Not able to get in a good state.
She was always the best in his eyes.
He was really caring towards her as he was to his little brother.
Her strange hair was the very thing she always complained about, saying it wasn’t “good enough” which was unbelievably soft. He just wanted to breathe in that scent once more. He loved how it was slightly frizzy, giving it a charm that was cute in its own quiet way.
Whenever she complained about cramps or her periods, he went straight to his mother for advice. He was always there when she needed someone, helping out without hesitation, and gently reminding her not to be “lukewarm” but to be open with him instead.
He has been caring towards her and his brother.
He has always been so much caring.
But he messed it up.
Big this time.
And now he can’t fix it.
He held the picture close to his heart.
Him. Rin. And her.
The most precious things he has ever gotten beside his talent,
Now he lost both of them.
He can convince Rin.
Maybe.
Probably.
But her?
Impossible.
How can he when-
Suddenly, the winds started to brush the picture to fly away from his. It flew all the way towards the sea.
The one which brought happiness once.
Old promises.
Memories.
Hugs.
And kisses.
His eyes darted towards the picture, trying to catch it before it could fall.
Too late,
Again.
Not a new thing.
He just couldn’t lose it,
But the grief drains his energy.
Shedding tears is not a “sae” thing, but now?
It is.
He is shedding tears again,
Harder.
He is on his knees, his hands shaking and shivering.
He couldn’t do anything.
He was late.
Weak.
Lukewarm.
He could have been a nicer brother,
He could have been there for her.
But he wasn’t.
And now he pays.
The price of something he cannot dare to pay,
the price of
The rainbow socks.
-x-
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