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Conor stood between Mason and Zach as the crowd was cheering, calling one last times of goodbye, holding signs up with the question for a setlist or a selfie. The show went on smoothly tonight, the audience was loud and the motivation high on everyone’s end.
As the four boys went to get their setlists off the floor Conor noticed how the atmosphere switched between seconds. He suddenly felt hot, the tape that kept the paper on the stage moving in front of his eyes and his fingers suddenly were wet.
«You good?» Mason mouthed towards Conor as the older Aussie helped him to get the setlist off without destroying it. All attention was onto the action on stage, but thankfully Zach just took the edge off with scrunching his setlist and throwing it into the audience.
With a slow nod, that Conor immediately regretted, did he agree on feeling okay, but he wasn’t. Mason seemed to not pay attention to him any more as he got his own setlist away to their fans.
Conor didn’t know if he was going to be sick … he looked down onto his setlist, his fingers shaking as he swayed slightly. What if someone got this on camera? This would make a headline through everyone’s social media accounts. There was a tightness in his chest, like someone sat an elephant on top of him, and he had to survive with shallow breaths until someone took that animal off again. With a forced smile Conor looks through the audience, which seemed now just a blurry mess of people, but then just throws it into the middle, not even daring to go off the stage.
«Love you!» Conor calls into his microphone without looking a last time into the crowd as he walks off stage as fast as he can.
Weird.
That’s what Conor feels when loud communication comes through him and for a few seconds he ask himself why there’s people in his bedroom.
«Conor?»
Was that Mason talking or did he imagine things now?
«I caught his head, but he just went down.»
Shane?
With some effort Conor opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a ceiling … everything felt so weird. He moved his eyes to his left where he saw a blonde mess of curls. To be honest, Conor wanted to let his eyes fall close again, but then it finally hit him – he straight up fainted backstage. He wanted to push himself up, shoving the others off him and say he’s okay, but he also felt … weird?
For a man that usually knew his way around words he was at loss for once. The next thing he noticed was a young man around his age kneeling next to him, his bright uniform letting Conor know that he was a paramedic.
«Hello, I’m Sebastian, can you tell me your name?» the young paramedic asked and Conor noticed how his colleague was making space. Underneath those people who needed to take a move were his friends.
Conor sighed and was surprised that words were actually leaving his mouth as he got answered. The routine questions started before the paramedics moved him into the dressing room for a more comfortable and private setting. With his legs propped up and the glucose he got his vitals slowly went up again. To be honest, it was a mix of heat, lack of hydration and unhealthy food that got the better of him.
«Thank you,» Conor said while fiddling with his necklace, watching as the paramedics wrapped it up and his friends waiting at the door for him …
Mason was the first one to enter and Conor was thankful that he didn’t get a full on rant about how water is important or the fact that he should have said anything.
Conor’s brain was literally not functioning, it felt like it was replaced with cotton. So it took a while for Zach to force some more water into the young Aussie before Conor finally felt somewhat alive again. Except that sleep was nagging at him awfully, and he was sure to not see any fan now after the show, he wanted to hide in his bunk and sleep all night.
«You okay?» Shane asked from the door as he eyed his friend who seemed suspiciously quiet since the incident. «I knew I was hot, but not that hot.»
The joke did its job, because Conor’s mouth twisted into a small smile as his eyes fixated on Shane before saying, «I’m good, exhausted, but okay.»
Thanks to the universe they had a break of two days and Conor knew he would sleep in the next morning and try to rest up as much as possible. As Conor finally washed up, got himself under control, he noticed how someone had their eyes on him and didn’t leave his side, Shane. His golden curls were slightly messy after the show, but otherwise he did change his sweaty clothes.
«What?» Conor asked slightly irritated as he pushed his stuff in his jacket, the need to go back to their bus was absolutely there, and he wasn’t in the mood for any games right now.
Shane shrugged softly before answering, «nothing, just worried about you.»
There was a sincerity in his voice that Conor didn’t hear often, but he didn’t get the chance to say anything.
«You dropped right in front of me, I was able to keep your head from falling onto the floor, but you freaked me out for a second,» Shane then said and walked towards him.
Conor stopped in his motions and looked up as Shane stopped in front of him. His neck ached, and he felt still slightly nauseous so bent his head down and let himself fall onto the couch. Standing felt way too overwhelming right now. Shane obviously picked up the behaviour and kneeled in front of the couch before asking, «hey, should I call the paramedics back?»
He sounded like a mother hen, but Conor felt a warmth spreading inside of him as Shane put his hand against the Aussies face.
«Standing just feels too much,» Conor answers slightly bothered about the fussing of Shane, because he feels the weight on his chest from earlier again. «I’m just not a 100% right now, I’ll be good once I get some sleep.»
Thankfully Mason and Zach give one glance into the room, the oldest one asking if everyone’s ready to leave. It was an eventful day and obviously the others worried about the poet of their group dropping out of the blue.
Their way to the bus was going smoothly, security did send away everyone who was in the near. Mason and Shane gave Conor a space in the middle, shielding him from eyes that might wait around the corner. Walking felt like a whole workout for Conor, and he was thankful once he was shielded from the world and sat down in the bus. He closed his eyes, he felt okay, just exhausted and still embarrassed.
So when Mason brought a bottle of coke to drink and dextro for Conor to drink he accepted it, but only nipped on the bottle, absolutely needing to settle his stomach first.
«We could raid the fridge in the hotel, maybe some nuts?» Shane asked as he leaned against the wall next to where Conor sat. «The salt would help keeping your blood pressure stable.»
Okay since when was Shane such a nurse? Conor shook his head, because he didn’t want to think about food at all right now. He wanted to hide in a cave and never come out again.
«You gotta eat something,» Shane said and eyed the still full bottle in front of Conor before he adds, «and drink, your blood pressure needs it, your brain won’t craft new poems if it’s running on no battery.»
Shane nudges him softly and smiles comforting before squeezing down next to him.
Conor didn’t realize that he was playing with his necklace until Shane’s hand laid down over his own. With a soft squeeze of his hand he let him know that was there, that it was okay.
Shane then pulled Conor’s hand slightly off and laid it in his open hand before saying, «you’re okay, squeeze if you need too, just breath.»
To be honest, Conor didn’t know that he held his breath until Shane said so. He took a breath and realized that he was able to get air just fine, no elephant on his chest pushing him down.
In the hotel all four shuffled to the lift, the adrenaline of the concert fainted, and they were exhausted. Shane was glued to Conor’s side and neither Zach nor Mason did comment on it.
For Conor everything happened in a blur, and he wasn’t even sure how he actually got changed again and onto the couch, a package of salt pretzels on his lap that Shane brought.
«Wake me up if something’s up,» Mason said softly and went to his own room in the small suite the four shared. Zach agreed on Mason’s words, telling Conor the same before also leaving.
Shane was wide awake again, watching how Conor ate some of the pretzels and finally got some more color into the pale face again. With fast movements Shane brought a water bottle into Conor’s room and checked onto him twice before then sending him to bed.
Conor didn’t disagree and fell into the soft mattress instantly, his eyes fixated on Shane who stood in the shadows of the room. He groaned, «it makes me jumpy if you keep staring at me.»
It only took three steps for Shane to be at Conor’s bed where he sat down and asked, «may I?»
There weren’t more words needed for Conor to realize what Shane meant and he nodded softly. The fussing over him earlier felt like suffocating, but now where Shane lays down next to him and hugs him tightly it feels like home. Conor pushed his head into the soft fabric of Shane’s shirt and closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of whatever they used last time they did laundry. Shane held Conor tightly, his fingers in his hair scratching slightly as he just made sure Conor wouldn’t break, keeping him together like he was being paid for it.
«Did anyone notice that I was off?» Conor mumbled into the fabric of the shirt, scared to go online the next morning. The slow movements of Shane started to lull him to sleep. There was a break, Shane shuffling around to grab his phone, going online on TikTok, but his for you page only showed a thousand other videos.
«Nothing there, and even if, you know that the person would get a handful of comments until they delete it, your fans love you,» Shane says softly and puts his phone down. Conor nods, before clinging to Shane’s shirt a bit more tightly before finally letting exhaustion take over. He felt warm, loved and safe.