Chapter Text
As Tim drove his motorcycle from Pennyworth Manor to his house-boat in the Gotham Marina, where his boyfriend was patiently waiting, he couldn't help but feel bittersweet about his current situation. He tried not to think too much about Damian's reaction to his decision and did his best to focus on driving instead. After all, it would have been a real shame to get into an accident right when his new life was starting.
It was still dark when Tim parked in the marina, even though the first signs of daylight were starting to show in the west along the familiar and somewhat beautiful Gotham skyline. The boats of Tim's neighbors softly swayed along the moving of the waves, and that was the only sound in the air. During his years ar Robin, Tim had came to truly know Gotham. The city was big and chaotic during the day, dangerous and potentially lethal at night, but sometimes it still reminded its citizens that it could be beautiful.
He appreciated the peace of his surroundings as he walked to his house-boat. Well, his and Bernard's. Tim had gathered all his courage to ask him to move in a few days earlier. Bernard had gladly accepted; Tim had found it adorable how his eyes had lit up, how his cheeks had blushed, and how he had reached for a kiss and a hug. “Nothing would make me happier, Tim”, he had said.
Truth is, Tim had thought about taking a break from Robin for a long time and he needed Bernard beside him. No one else could show him how to live a normal life but Bernard, the civilian who studied at college and worked shifts in a restaurant, but somehow still had time to spend with his boyfriend. Tim had so much to learn from him.
When Tim opened the door, he found Bernard on the couch, exactly where he had been an hour ago, before Tim left to tell Bruce about his decision. He was studying from an enormous biology textbook, which he soon put down to stand up and greet Tim at the door. He offered a kind smile. “How did it go?” he asked.
Tim smiled back. It was impossible not to smile back at Bernard. Then he pulled him into a hug, and when Bernard's arms wrapped tight around him he felt at home. They held each other for a full minute before Tim pulled back. “Bruce took it well. Damian... not so well.”
“Oh. He'll come around, I'm sure”, said Bernard, gently laying a hand on Tim's arm.
“I hope so.”
“Do you want to tell me more about it?”
“Yes, Bee. But don't you need to finish studying first?” “Nah. I was just waiting for you to come back. Let's get into bed so we can cuddle while you tell me everything.”
Tim changed into sweatpants and a tank top before joining Bernard in bed; when he climbed in, Bernard immediataly snuggled closer, laying his head on Tim's chest and hugging him; and Tim closed his arms around him and kissed his lovely, soft blonde hair. He loved to cuddle with his boyfriend, and couldn't hold back a smile when he realized he could do it every night now that they lived together.
Tim took a few moments to gather his thoughts. He wanted to tell Bernard everything, but still had to hide a few details. After coming up with a couple half-truths, he spoke.
“Honestly, I think I'll miss working at Wayne Enterprises with Bruce.” He couldn't tell him what he was actually doing while working with Bruce, of course. “Maybe I'll be back. But not for a while. I need to figure out if it's really what I want. But... he understands. He wanted me to have this. Live a more peaceful life. He approves of us, too."
“Really? After what I told him when you were in the hospital, I thought he hated me.”
“He doesn't hate you, Bee. Bruce is smart, he knows you did it because you care about me. And I told him many times that you make me happy.”
“That's very sweet, Timmy. And, well, I'm really happy for you. It couldn't have been easy, telling him you wanted a break."
“It... really wasn't. But I'm glad I did.”
He played with Bernard's golden hair as they talked, and he felt Bernard's gentle fingers caress his arm. It felt good to just spend time and share space with his boyfriend, not having to worry about anything else in the world; so Tim savored the peace of it all before speaking again.
“About Damian... you know, he also helps Bruce at Wayne Enterprises. Sometimes we'd work together, too. Our relationship had a rocky start, but... we were getting along alright lately. And I think I ruined everything. I tried to tell him we can still hang out, but he said he doesn't want to spend time with me. I think he's sad that I'm leaving, but he'd rather let me believe he hates me than admit he's gonna miss me.” He took a deep breath. “I just... hope he reaches out if he needs to. Bruce and him have been arguing a lot lately, and I don't want him to think he's alone.”
Bernard reached for Tim's hand and squeezed it. “I'm sorry, Tim. The only thing you can do is keep trying to show him you're there for him, I think. And hope he accepts it.”
“That's what I'll do. Thank you. For listening,” said Tim, intertwining their fingers.
“Tim, you don't need to thank me for that. I'll always listen. I'll always be here.”
Tim knew he would. “I want to be more present for you too, now that I'm taking a break from work. I could help you finish unpacking tomorrow. And give you a lift to work, too. What do you say?”
Bernard pushed himself up enough to quickly kiss his lips. “I say you're the best boyfriend in the world”, he said with the brightest, most beautiful smile Tim had ever seen.
“You're too kind. Good night, Bee,” he told him, smiling back.
“Good night,” said Bernard as he laid his head on Tim's chest again and closed his eyes.
"If I'm the best boyfriend in the world, why can't I tell you the truth? Why can't I tell you about Robin?" Tim asked himself. Guilt quickly rose inside him, a guilt he never really got over. It was always there when Bernard was around, the only thing stopping him from fully enjoying his company. He wanted to tell him. He needed to tell him. Tim tried to push those thoughts back. He would be able to be honest with him one day. He knew he would.
Before Tim could try to sleep, though, he felt he had one more thing to do. He grabbed his phone from the small bedside table and quickly typed a text. He hesitated before sending it; so he gathered all his courage, like he had done to ask Bernard to come live with him and to tell Bruce he wanted a break from Robin, and hit the send button.
He stared at the screen for a while, then he put the phone on the table and hoped to find a reply the following day. He closed his eyes, held Bernard tighter in his arms, and fell asleep. For the first time in a while he looked forward to waking up.