Chapter Text
Helianthus was a sleepy little town that had made its roots in the warm sandy earth beside the coast of the Callaina Sea, known for its friendly locals and soil filled with all the right nutrients for flowers.
Winter was not well-known here, and the sun shone warmly down on everyone almost perpetually–save for the few days of storms they had here and there, but that was all part and parcel of living by the sea. No one could really complain when the weather was so nice for the most part.
Most of the town’s children usually grew up to become gardeners or sailors, the former devoting their lives and energy to ensuring that the many plants growing around the town were taken care of while the latter took off for the distant lands across the water to share their humble wealth with other ports. Some others became farmers or bakers in order to keep the town well-fed, and some others became nothing at all.
No matter what, you were guaranteed to live a peaceful life without pain if you lived in Helianthus.
It was here in this quiet place that Toya made his home.
He was dragged from his dreams by an unfamiliar, sweet tune playing just a few feet from his pillow.
Curious and sleepy, he raised his head and fumbled for his spectacles, carefully setting them on the bridge of his nose as he searched for the source of the noise. What is that?
It’s so pleasant…a music box, maybe?
But I don’t own any, so how…?
He sat up and found the source at last. A pristine little box carved out of rosy-brown wood–mahoghany, he thought–sat on his nightstand, lid open to reveal a traditional music box mechanism alongside an intricate set of gears. A little clock face was nestled within the center of the lid, tiny hands pointing at nine in the morning. What’s this?
Could it be some kind of alarm clock?
Toya gently shut the lid, admiring the white roses painted along the top as he got out of bed. It must be from the coast market. I’ve never seen anything like this in Helianthus before.
Who brought it over? Akito?
If so, I need to head that way and thank him.
He changed out of his night clothes and pulled on his favorite jacket, breathing in the earthy scent that clung to the soft fabric. He made his way carefully down the stairs and slung his bag over his shoulder, checking to ensure his wallet was in it before opening the front door and stepping outside.
He stood there blinking for a few seconds to try and ward off the sunlight blasting in his eyes. It was lovely once you got used to it, but as he was a late riser he didn’t have the chance to acclimate to the change from dawn to day.
Once his vision stopped flashing Toya began to walk down the road, scanning the streets for that tell-tale flash of orange. He’s not anywhere nearby…did he head back to the coastal market?
Where did he…
A sharp citrusy scent suddenly drifted towards him on the breeze.
A smile lifted the corners of his lips, and he changed direction and headed for the nearby grove.
“Good morning, Akito.”
“Oh, morning,” the other boy greeted, twisting around to grin at him as he tugged another orange off its branch. “Did the clock I bought you wake you up on time?”
“Yes, it did. Thank you for buying it for me,” Toya said gratefully. “It wasn’t too expensive, was it?”
“Nah, it wasn’t that bad. The geezer who had it tried to charge me a hundred coins, which is just ridiculous–”
“You didn’t really pay that much, did you?”
“No way. I told him it wasn’t worth that much,” Akito answered with an awkward shrug, the silver earrings he always wore swaying and catching the sunlight. He cursed as the orange he was attempting to pick plummeted to the ground. “He panicked when he thought I was walking out of the deal and gave it to me for fifty instead. Worth it.”
“You really shouldn’t bully people like that,” Toya scolded, picking up the orange and checking it for bruises. “Did he make the music box himself?”
“He said he collected them and just wanted to make a profit off of them, so I didn’t feel that bad about haggling a little. Oh, thanks.”
“What are you going to do with these?” he asked in curiosity as Akito carefully counted the contents of his basket. “Ah, you’ll let me have the peels, right?”
“I’m plannin’ on making some cheesecake since I finally got my hands on a springform pan, so sure thing. Well, Ena wants to candy a few of ‘em–and try making paint out of ‘em too–but I’ll make sure you get as many as you need.”
“Thank you. I was thinking of a nice winter piece involving them and a few of the primroses I picked the other day, but I forgot to ask you when these would be ready.”
Akito’s face settled into a dazzling pretty smile as he handed him an orange. “Here, go ahead and take this one back. I can’t wait to see what you come up with, Toya.”
Toya couldn’t come up with a reply fast enough, and his friend hopped down from the ladder he was balanced on and patted his shoulder. “I’ve gotta bring these home. I won’t be able to make lunch today ‘cause I’m preparing the cheesecake, but do you wanna come with me to the coastal market later?”
“Ah–of course,” he stammered, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Does one sound alright?”
“Yep. I’ll see you then, Toya.”
He waved before turning and hurrying down the path towards his house. Toya had to stop himself from puncturing the orange with his nails, too overwhelmed by affection to even consider dusting the floury fingerprints Akito had left behind off his shirt.
He’s too much for my heart.
Last year he could’ve easily pretended that the feelings that rose up inside of him whenever he saw Akito were just ordinary feelings of friendly endearment and everything would’ve been fine. However, Toya had made the critical mistake of acknowledging them–although he’d foolishly thought that it was only a little crush.
It had been approximately a year and a half now since he’d admitted it to himself, and the “crush” he’d developed on his best friend had only grown in the recent months. It didn’t seem to be going away any time soon, either.
He’s too sweet.
What do I do?
A sudden grumbling in his stomach brought him back to his senses. Toya hurried back home to wrap the orange up for eating later and then set out again, determinedly wiping his embarrassment from his mind. I don’t want to act all flustered and silly just because the boy I like looked at me. I’m not some romance novel protagonist.
I need to do something about this soon before I make a fool out of myself, though.
If only I had proof that he was the one who…
…ah, there’s the cafe.
The place he always got his breakfast from was waiting for him across the street, the large sunflowers growing outside friendly and soothing in the midst of his trivial worries. The doorbell let out its usual merry jangle as he swung it open, and the comforting smell of coffee and bread hit him as soon as he’d stepped inside. Toya felt himself relax at once–this place always had this effect on him.
“Morning, Toya!” An called, waving to him without taking her eyes off the pastry she was slicing. “Want your usual?”
“Yes, please. Thank you, Mrs. Shiraishi,” he said gratefully as he settled into the chair in front of the counter.
“You’ll have to wait a little bit, then,” she said apologetically. “Kohane’ll have it out in a minute, but we’ve got a ton of orders this morning because of the ship that just landed in port.”
“Oh, no worries. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Nah, we’ve got it under control. But thanks!”
She whirled away in a storm of powdered sugar and coffee grounds, shouting something to the girl in the back. Kohane came hurrying out within a couple of minutes, lighting up when she saw him. “Aoyagi-kun! It’s nice to see you.”
“Nice to see you too, Mrs. Shiraishi,” he greeted. “Thank you for always preparing my breakfast so well.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. You’re our easiest customer,” she promised, setting a mug down in front of him with a smile. “I’ll get your toast in just a moment, okay?”
“Understood.”
Toya took a sip of his coffee without waiting for it to cool down, examining the crowd packed into the cafe with interest. Everyone’s clothes are so nice. They must’ve come from one of the more elite cities across the sea.
Perhaps Aereus? I’ve heard they have the greatest smithies known to mankind.
Fashioning something like the music box Akito left me would likely be quite simple for them.
He winced as Akito returned to his thoughts. I really wanted to not think about this for a few minutes.
The longer I think about it, the more I just know I’m not cut out for this.
What do I do?
“Here you go!”
“Ah, thank you.”
“No problem,” Kohane replied as she accepted the coins he handed her (they refused to let him pay the full price, so he always had a special Toya discount.) “See you tomorrow, Aoyagi-kun!”
“See you tomorrow.”
The bread that the Shiraishis prepared was as excellent as always, warm and perfectly toasted despite the time that had passed since he’d left the cafe. Toya munched blissfully on the first piece as he strode down the road back to his shop, only dragging his feet a little today–sure, he was able to act quite lazily most of the time, but with a new batch of tourists in their little town he was guaranteed to have some customers soon. He had to hurry and open.
By the time he’d reached his shop again he’d finished eating. He set his mug on the counter to finish later and located his apron, tying it on as his eyes darted around the interior to ensure it was ready for shopping. I need to get out the resin crafts I finished last night.
And the bookmarks I didn’t sell the other day might do well with the crowd, so I’d better make sure they’re out there.
What else…? Oh, yes, the novels.
Toya did one last circle of the shop, placing everything where it needed to go before flipping the sign around to “open.” With every step in the opening process taken care of, he sat back at last and slowly drank the rest of his coffee as he kept his eyes trained on the road outside.
He barely had to wait five minutes before a pair of girls came rushing towards the door, their excitement clear even through the window. They came in like a cyclone, quickly stopping when the delicate nature of everything around them became apparent. “Hello,” the taller girl said breathlessly, brushing her pale blue hair behind her ear. “Is it fine if we pick things up and look at them? We’re looking for some gifts, and the locals all told us this was the best shop…”
“Go ahead,” Toya reassured, setting down his mug. “Just please be gentle. Most everything is handmade, so it’s quite delicate.”
“Understood!” the other girl chirped. “Hey, Shizuku-chan, look at this little bowl! It’s got a peach blossom pressed inside!”
“Oh, it’s so gorgeous…and the edges are painted in gold, too! Maybe Airi-chan can hold snacks in it?”
“Whoa, this one has strawberry slices! And they’re perfectly fresh! Sir, can you really preserve fruit like this?!”
“Yes. Isn’t it interesting to look at?”
“It is,” Shizuku agreed, stooping to examine it closer. “They’re so red and beautiful. I wonder if Airi-chan would like this one better?”
“There’s so many books here, too…wait, I’ve seen some of these before in other cities!” the brown-haired girl gasped as she ran her fingers across the spines of the books he’d carefully sorted. “You have such a big collection, sir!”
“Thank you. I’ve bought a good number of them from the coastal markets that happen whenever a ship comes in, and recently I’ve realized that I have too many, so I started selling some of them.” He smiled a little ruefully. “It’s a little sad to part with them, but everyone who buys them always looks so pleased.”
“I understand what you mean! Lately I’ve started giving away some of my clothes because I don’t wear them anymore, and it feels like I’m saying goodbye to a friend,” the girl admitted. “But yeah! Seeing the smiles on the faces of the people who get them is really nice!”
“Minori-chan, you might find actually the book Haruka-chan wanted here,” Shizuku called from where she was still studying the peach bowl.
“Oh, right!”
Minori briefly scanned the many, many books on the shelf before giving up and turning up to him. “Do you happen to have, um…” She broke off and dug through her bag. Toya curiously watched her rummage through it for a few seconds before triumphantly pulling a scrap of parchment out. “Ah-ha! Here, do you have ‘An Encyclopedia on Hiversol’s Wildlife and Plants?’”
“I believe I might actually own it, yes,” Toya answered, stepping out from behind the counter to check the shelf. “It should be…yes, right here. This is what you need, right?”
“Thank you! It’s–oof–exactly what I wanted!” Minori squeaked as she yanked the massive book off the shelf and proceeded to nearly drop it on her foot. “How much?”
“That’ll be twenty gold coins. I’m afraid it’s a somewhat rare book because not many sail out to Hiversol…”
“That’s alright! I came here prepared to pay any price to get this,” Minori said spiritedly, shuffling to the side so Shizuku could pull the required amount from her bag. “It’s a Valentine’s day gift, so I saved up for days to get on the ship since I heard there was a copy here!”
…Valentine’s Day?
That’s right. It’s coming up soon, isn’t it?
“I hope she enjoys it,” he said sincerely. “Are you planning to buy that resin bowl, miss?”
“Oh, yes. It’s a beautiful little thing,” Shizuki replied as she brought the bowl to the counter and carefully set it down. “Did you make it yourself?”
“Yes, actually. All of the resin crafts here are mine.”
“Wow! I might have to buy a few since they’re so pretty,” Minori gushed. “Are they made with the local flowers?”
“They are. The flowers that grow here are truly magical, and they lift my spirits whenever I see them,” Toya answered, feeling a hint of warmth flicker to life in his chest. He could talk about his home for hours. “Helianthus is a place that soothes the soul no matter where you’ve come from, so I thought it would be nice if people could take a little bit of the feeling home with them no matter where they’re headed.”
“That’s such an amazing way of thinking! In that case, I might buy one of these splendid bookmarks, too. What flower is this?”
“Oh, that one is…”
Toya talked with the two girls for a good ten minutes while they browsed about his village and their city, happily identifying flowers and explaining his process for his crafts. It was always fun to share information like this with the tourists who always came by, especially when they seemed so eager to listen.
It made him feel fairly guilty to know that only part of him was actually interested in the conversation.
Eventually the two girls bowed their way out, several coins poorer but looking extremely satisfied with their purchases. Not long after they left a group of older boys came in, eyeing the more jewelry-styled pieces as they mumbled something about the upcoming holiday, and as Toya discussed flower meanings and prices with them his mind wandered to a more mysterious topic.
He’d only celebrated one Valentine’s Day in Helianthus before now as he’d arrived in the spring a couple of years ago, and he’d spent a good chunk of the day agonizing over whether to say anything to Akito and then beating himself over for squandering the chance the holiday had given him.
His friends had given him some bitter chocolate in the spirit of the holiday, at least–and he was pretty sure a few girls had also dropped some off for him, confusingly enough–but almost nothing of interest had actually happened that day…
…save for the letter he’d found lying for him on the counter when he went inside to go to bed, unsigned and addressed to him.
Toya had opened it instantly, his curiosity too intense to hold back. He was greeted by a little sheet of paper bearing a simple paragraph just vague enough to render the writer completely unclear, but direct enough to make their intentions writing it crystal clear.
Toya,
I’ll never have the courage to say this to your face, so please don’t hate me for keeping it in this letter.
You’re the strongest person I know. I love you, and promise to keep on loving you forever. I swear I’ll always be there for you no matter what happens.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
He’d checked the envelope again and again and even looked carefully at the back of the letter, sure there had to be some clue as to the writer’s identity, but there was none whatsoever. Whoever his secret admirer was, they were intent on not being discovered.
Toya had shown the letter to Akito, to Kohane, to An (and An’s father, out of desperation and hope that he could figure it out) but each of them had denied writing the letter. He’d asked a few other people around the town only to learn nothing as not a single person could tell him who’d written the letter.
He’d spent the week trying to think about who’d be writing a love letter to him, the mysterious loner who’d hadn’t even been living in Helianthus for a year yet at the time.
The only answer that made sense was Akito.
Akito had been there for him the longest out of anyone else there when he’d first escaped to Helianthus, sharp olive eyes always watching him regardless of what he did. As time wore on it became reassuring to turn and see those eyes, and he grew to love the way they softened into a warm gold whenever the sunlight hit them.
Toya sometimes wondered if he was seeing the same kind of love he felt reflected back at him through Akito’s eyes.
He thought about posing that question a thousand times a day and dismissed it every time.
It’s been a year and I still haven’t been able to seriously ask him if he wrote that letter.
Would he even give me a straight answer if I did?
Toya considered it wearily before dismissing it once more.
It’s no use. I don’t know how to confront him correctly.
Perhaps if he gives me another gift for Valentine’s Day…
Despite himself he snorted at his own ridiculousness. Wasting a whole holiday just sitting back waiting was, perhaps, the stupidest idea he’d ever had in his life.
I don’t know what else to do, though.
There’s not much that I ca–
Wait.
Toya suddenly felt his footsteps slow until he’d halted involuntarily in the middle of the store. What if…
What if I made a move this year?
The longer he thought about it the better an idea it seemed. If Akito couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything, then what if Toya was the one to reach out first?
…Ah, but what if Akito hadn’t been the one to send the letter?
What if he didn’t want anything like that with Toya?
Whoever sent the letter…whether it was Akito or not…
I understand now why it was anonymous.
But above all, I want him to know.
I’ve carried this weight around with me long enough.
Toya had been passive a great deal of his life–now that a new path had opened up for him, just like before, he decided to take it.
That said, what should I do?
I could just tell him outright, but I want to do something special.
Assuming that lovely letter was from him, I need to do something just as amazing. Perhaps a gift from the coastal market?
It would have to be something really good, though.
What would Akito want as a gift?
Something practical? Maybe something that can help him with his baking.
But he might buy that for himself…maybe some sort of novelty gift, then?
What would he appreciate the most?
What would be the most romantic thing to give him?
He thought and thought until he heard the clock tower in the distance, lazily tolling out the hour. Ah, it’s already one.
…The best thing I can do is just watch him carefully, I suppose.
Maybe if I pay attention I can buy him the perfect gift.
He flipped the sign around to “closed” and hung his apron back up, locking the door behind him as he stepped outside. There was a slight skip in his step as he made his way down the road to the beach–how could there not be, when he would be seeing Akito again so soon?
As always, the Helianthus beach was the most beautiful beach Toya had ever seen.
Pure white sand, dotted with shells, and seawater that rippled constantly between green and blue…it was far more striking than the gray, pebbled beach of his hometown. He could walk across it for hours and not get bored, even without the coastal markets that often frequented it.
The sight of colorful tents fluttering in the salty breeze was nothing new to him. He wandered among the canvas structures without paying attention to any of the wares there, for now focused solely on locating the baker. Now, where is he…
Ah, there he is…
…by the honey crystals.
He fought back a laugh as he watched Akito bite down on the treat he’d bought, his expression fading into pure bliss. He never changes. No matter how much he’s eaten or when, he always finds time for sugar.
It’s funny that he’s not just satisfied with the things he bakes.
He waited until he was just a few feet away to call his name. “Akito.”
The baker jumped about two feet in the air, spinning around to gawk at Toya. “Toya! How long have you been–”
“The entire time,” Toya admitted, laughing at the indignation on Akito’s face. “I’m sorry. I just can’t help but enjoy watching you look so happy.”
Akito turned a bright shade of red but cleared his throat, tossing the honey stick to the ground (Toya quickly picked it up in hopes of actually finding a trashcan later) and awkwardly dusting his hands off. “Anyway. Where did you want to start looking first?”
“Wherever you’d like is fine,” he answered politely. “I don’t mind following you.”
“Alright, we’ll be methodical about this. Come on, Toya.”
“Right behind you.”
Toya trailed after him as Akito set off briskly down the worn trail between the first two rows of tents, alternating between checking out the many different stalls and watching Akito carefully to see if he reacted to anything. For the most part the baker hardly stopped unless he himself expressed interest in anything, at which point he’d immediately and let Toya look his fullest. He’s probably seen and bought most everything he wants from this place.
This plan may be a bust.
No, no, don’t panic, he reassured himself. Not everyone sets up early in the morning. There are plenty of people who come out later in the day once they’ve recovered from the trip more.
I can definitely find something Akito wants. I’m sure of it.
“Toya, you’ve been staring at that dress for a while.” Akito’s tone was clearly amused, and Toya realized with a start that he’d zoned out. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about buying it?”
“Looking for a Valentine’s Day gift, sonny?” the salesman offered. “I’ve got quite a lot like that in the back.”
“Oh, no–no, I don’t need this,” Toya said hastily as Akito’s smile melted a little. “Not…a dress, no.”
“So you do need a gift? What are you looking for?”
“Nothing at the moment. Thank you.”
“Well, have a good look at everything. I’m sure our city’s handiwork will change your mind,” the merchant said mildly.
“Ah…Alright.”
Actually, he’s got a good point.
If I’m right, Akito will–
“You know, the clothes here are so nice. I’ve never seen such precise stitching,” Akito muttered as he studied the sleeve of a red waistcoat. “Toya, do you mind if we look a little longer?”
“Of course not,” Toya replied instantly, working hard to keep his excitement from showing on his face.
If I watch him, I should be able to figure out what kinds of things he’s looking for.
He’ll probably buy whatever he actually wants, but it’ll at least give me a place to start.
He listened to Akito mumble something about fabric while he ran his hands down a deep purple shirt. The baker’s brow was furrowed as his sharp olive eyes roved over every detail, and Toya couldn’t help but stare a little in admiration. He takes this so seriously. It’s amazing.
Just watching him like this is nice.
I could probably do it forever.
“The buttons are pretty cool, too. They don’t seem like they’ll just fall off without warning,” Akito said aloud, tugging briefly on the topmost button as if to test it. “This jacket looks amazing. I think I might buy it.”
“It does look rather nice,” Toya agreed (although his knowledge of fashion was severely limited.) The jacket in question was one of the more “rugged” items in the tent, sewn out of a smooth, worn leather and sporting an elegant zipper running through the middle. “Is this real gold, you think?”
“...Is it?”
Akito’s smile vanished as he checked the price tag. “Yeah, it’s real,” he said flatly. “That explains it. It’s expensive as hell.”
“Do you not have enough to buy it?” Toya asked, slightly confused. “But you always have a lot saved up for the coastal markets…”
“It’s just too much for my budget, and I already bought a pan for myself. I don’t really need it.”
“Too much? But ho–”
…Oh.
“Akito, did you really spend all your savings on that music box?” he gasped.
The baker avoided his eyes. “It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. I’ve still got a bunch left over,” he muttered. “Just…not enough to justify buying the jacket.”
“Oh, Akito. I’ll buy it.”
“You don’t have to, Toya. It’s fine.”
“You bought me that music box just because you thought I’d like it, though. I want to pay you back.”
“It was a gift, okay? You don’t have to pay me back.” Akito hung the jacket back up and turned his back on it with an air of finality. “Come on, let’s head to the next tent.”
He’s going…to give up on it?
I can’t let him lose it. He seemed to like it so much.
What should–
Inspiration struck him out of the blue.
No, I know what I have to do.
Without stopping to worry about the price Toya hastened to hurry up to the merchant, hissing “please hold onto that for me, I’ll be back to pay for it in a few hours” before rushing to catch up to the baker.
Akito remained morose the rest of the walk, although he said nothing else about the jacket. Despite his desire to make him feel better Toya chose to remain silent about what he’d done a little longer. I feel bad that he wasted his money on me, but at least this was a good opportunity for me.
What better Valentine’s Day gift than the jacket?
I’ve saved up quite a lot recently–and I brought money with me when I first came here–so I shouldn’t have too much trouble paying for it.
“Is there anything else you feel like looking at?” Toya asked him eventually once they’d wandered around in silence for a while. “Maybe that honey stand again? Or perhaps the candied fruit?”
This earned him a half-hearted side-eye. “Are you trying to cheer me up with sugar?”
“Would I be wrong for doing so?”
“I guess not. You know me a little too well, though.”
He beamed. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Hey, now,” Akito teased, giving him a playful shove. Toya couldn’t help but laugh as he staggered back. “That’s not always a good thing, y’know? It feels like I can’t hide anything from you sometimes.”
“Why would you need to hide anything from me?”
The baker opened his mouth and then closed it again, breaking eye contact to look back at the path ahead. “I guess you’re right.”
His tone had shifted the slightest bit–was something wrong?
Toya studied him for a moment while he debated how high his chances were of getting him to explain. They’re not high at all, honestly.
Akito can be quite tightlipped when he wants to be. I suppose there’s really nothing I can do about that.
But I wish he trusted me the way I did him.
…Ah, but I suppose there’s things I don’t tell him, either.
“Honestly, I think I might head back and start on the cheesecake,” Akito said at last, tugging on his earrings. “Wanna come over and help? I’ve got some extra cookies I don’t need for the crust, and it’s always nice to have you there.” Toya could tell he meant it by the slightly softer smile he shot him. “You don’t gotta if you don’t feel like it, though.
“Of course I’ll come over,” he replied with only a millisecond of hesitation (what if the merchant gave up on him and sold the jacket??) “I’d love to help, Akito.”
“You act like it’s your first time being at my house every time you come inside,” the baker sighed as Toya trailed after him, staring in awe at the warm colors in the kitchen and the rounded, sunny windows. “You’re over all the time, too. Is this really so novel to you?”
“Your house is nice, that’s all,” he replied, accepting the apron handed to him and willingly pulling it over his head. “The whole place smells like you, too. I find myself relaxing as soon as I get inside.”
“Whatever, man.” Akito’s tone carried no bite, though. “Wanna crush up the cookies?”
“Yes, please.”
“I stored ‘em here,” the baker muttered as he opened the cabinet up. “I made a pretty big batch, so you should be able to–Ena!”
“What?” Toya heard his sister shout from elsewhere in the house. Oh, dear.
“Did you seriously eat the cookies I told you not to touch?” Akito yelled, slamming the bowl he’d pulled out onto the table and storming up the stairs.
“Come on, I didn’t eat all of ‘em!”
“I specifically told you not to touch them at all! I had the perfect amount to share with Toya and you ruined it!”
“I only ate ten and they’re tiny as hell! Why didn’t you make enough to share, anyway?!”
Toya poured a few cookies into another bowl as the argument lasted another five minutes, dutifully crushing them into the finest powder he could manage with Akito’s worn pestle. This always seems to happen when Akito tries to bake something.
Ena-san always ends up helping herself to it no matter what he says, and they end up duking it out like this…
He thought briefly of his brothers and the utter silence of his home.
They’re really so close.
Finally Akito came back downstairs, a grumpy scowl on his face. “She gets none of this,” he huffed. “Got it? If I’m not around and she tries to eat it, don’t let her.”
“I won’t,” Toya promised. “Do you have enough cookies for the crust, Akito?”
“Yeah, but I don’t have as many extras as I wanted,” Akito admitted, counting them quickly. “You can probably still have a couple, though. I’ll wrap ‘em up so there’s no risk of her eating any more.”
“Thank you. They smell delicious,” he said gratefully. “What kind are they?”
“Gingersnaps. I got both my recipes today from the guy that sold me the pan.”
Akito set the little bundle of cookies aside in a place where he could see it and dragged the basket of oranges over, pulling six out and dropping them on the counter. “I’ve gotta get some zest from one of these, and then we’ve gotta juice them,” he explained as Toya watched him curiously. “You good with what you’re doing now?”
“Yes. You can leave it to me.”
Akito nodded in satisfaction before grabbing the nearby knife. “Alright.”
They set to work right away, accompanied only by the silence of the kitchen and the glittering dust motes dancing in the nearby sunbeams.
Toya breathed in the vibrant scent in the air around them, soothed as always by the smell he’d come to directly associate with Akito.
It was really such a nice scent, although the fact that it was his was what made it really special—the slight sourness despite the overarching sweetness of the citrus had become his favorite combo.
I’ve come to like oranges quite a bit now, enough to even eat all sorts of things that I would’ve avoided a few years ago. I suppose Akito’s just that good of a baker.
The chocolate he made just for me last year was perfectly bitter, though…
…Ah.
The memory of the nearing holiday—about two weeks away if he was remembering right—returned, and with it a fresh wave of anxiety regarding his plan this year.
What if I don’t follow through with it?
Or what if Akito doesn’t want anything to do with me afterwards?
Is it really worth it to risk our friendship over something like this? I don’t even have proof Akito left that letter.
And even if he did…
“Hey, you’ve got a kinda scary face.”
The baker unexpectedly poked his cheek, grinning when he frowned. “Whatcha worrying about?” he asked, propping his chin up in his other hand. “It looks serious. Can I help?”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” Toya reassured him as he dumped the last few cookies into the bowl. “Just thinking about something, that’s all.”
“…Your family?”
“Ah…no. I did remember my brothers a few moments ago,” he admitted. “But no, I haven’t really thought about them in a long time.”
And it was true, too.
Toya hadn’t spared a thought for the life he’d left behind when he came to Helianthus in almost a whole year.
It was nice to be so free.
Akito watched him for one second more before nodding. “That’s good to know,” he said at last. “You don’t have to worry about them anymore, remember? You’re here now.”
“…Yes. Thank you.”
It had been a long time indeed since Akito had needed to be so concerned about him.
I don’t even remember the last time I dreamed about them, and thinking about them doesn’t even hurt as much as it used to.
It’s a little sad to think I was never able to make peace with them, though.
“We should finish,” Akito commented, setting down his orange and getting to his feet. “I’ve gotta melt some butter. Wanna try and juice these, Toya?”
“Oh—sure. Are you ready for the crust now?”
“Yeah, pass it over.”
They worked together like this for an hour or so, Akito occasionally humming a tune he recognized as the one from the music box that morning. Having become completely absorbed in what he was doing Toya let his mind wander a little as time passed.
What else can I get Akito?
I have the jacket, and that’s going to be pretty expensive…so I should avoid spending any more money.
Perhaps I can use those orange peels for a resin craft?
It’s a shame the marigolds aren’t in season. That would’ve been perfect.
I’ll have to settle for another flower he likes a little less.
What else? Maybe some glass beads?
…I could write him a note of my own.
Assuming it was him who left me that letter, it would be nice to repay him.
“You’ve been thinking for a while now,” Akito said, nudging him as they watched the oven closely. “You sure nothing’s wrong?”
“Really, everything’s fine.” Toya took a deep breath, considering what he was about to say extremely carefully before speaking–he didn’t want to ruin this. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, so I was just thinking about what I should do for the holiday.”
“...Oh, yeah?”
Akito turned away to clean up the mess they’d left on the table. “Gonna be gifting anyone anything?” he asked, his tone a tad too casual to be genuine.
“I’m not sure,” Toya answered slowly. “If I knew who left me that letter last year, I’d love to give them something in return.”
He swore the baker’s hands stilled for a moment.
“You planning on trying to figure out who it was?”
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I want to reply to them if possible.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll just be disappointed?”
Toya blinked, temporarily caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
“They sent it to you without a name. That means they don’t want you knowing who they are,” Akito replied, finally turning to look back at him. “They’ve probably got it in their heads that they’re better off not really saying it to you ‘cause they’re not good enough or something. Why waste time on someone like that?”
“I…well, I…”
“It just looks like they’re a coward,” his friend said sharply. “You don’t need to worry about someone like that. If they can’t even bother to say it to your face, why put so much work into finding out who they are?”
Toya fumbled uselessly for words that wouldn’t sound like useless platitudes. Before he could say anything, though, the little timer on the oven went off with a pleasant ding, and Akito moved forward to take the cheesecake out. “Shit, it cracked,” he muttered. “Just perfect.”
He set the cheesecake down on the counter and turned back to Toya, twirling the chain in his ear ‘round his finger. “Wanna help make the candied oranges?”
“Oh,” Toya stammered. “Yes, that’s…yes, I’ll help.”
“Cool. Can you grab the sugar?”
“Alright.”
That…
I didn’t expect that.
But I’m almost positive Akito sent me that letter now.
Why is he so adamant about not revealing it though?
Why does he think I would be disappointed to know it was him?
Really, Toya didn’t understand his friend at all.
Akito was amazing–he’d been the one to reach Toya when no one else could and had supported him through his worst days, leading him out of the darkness and into the light for the first time in his life. He’d made every day he spent in Helianthus warm and sweet, and not once had he had ever thought to be disappointed by him.
If Akito had truly sent the letter, then Toya saw no reason to be anything but delighted.
…But he won’t easily believe that. I know that too well.
“One hundred and eight, one hundred and nine, and…one hundred and ten,” the merchant counted, setting each coin in a precise stack and sliding them into his coinbox. “You’ve got quite the eye for fashion, sonny. All the boys back in my city were obsessed with jackets like these.”
“It is a very nice jacket,” Toya said politely. “Could you please bag it up for me?”
“Sure thing.”
The merchant took the jacket off its hanger and folded it carefully up, sliding it into a large parchment bag and tying it tight with some twine. “I noticed you and your friend looking at this one. Is it a gift by any chance?”
“Oh, yes. He managed to get me a beautiful music box this morning, so I wanted to repay him with this.”
The merchant let out a gusty laugh. “He actually bought something from that curmudgeon? You make sure to treat him well, sonny–not everyone haggles with Fuma and actually walks away with one of his treasures.”
“I will, sir,” Toya promised, unable to hold back a smile. “Ah, if he happens to come back, I’d appreciate it if you could keep this secret.”
The merchant raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Sounds like it’s not just your everyday gift,” he commented. “Could this have anything to do with the upcoming holiday?”
“...That’s a secret, too. Please don’t say anything.”
“Will do, sonny. You enjoy your day now.”
Toya hurried away from the market with the bag clutched tightly to his chest, praying he didn’t bump into Akito along the way.
He reached his house and quickly hid the package in his closet. There’s that taken care of, he thought to himself, breathing a sigh of relief. I was so worried someone would’ve already bought it…or that Akito would be there when I went to buy it.
I’m a hundred and ten coins poorer, but at least I can give him something nice.
…Now I just have to make him something by hand.
What should I do…?
Toya ambled downstairs and pulled the resin magazine he always used as reference for his crafts out from the counter, easing down into his chair and flipping through it. Several beautiful photos lined the pages, a little faded with age but maintaining the vivid clarity they’d had when he’d first bought it.
He’d been boarding a ship out of his hometown, still processing his decision and bored out of his mind because his novels had all been packed away in the luggage zone. For the first time in his life the colorful magazine rack at the port’s entrance had looked interesting, so after deciding it wasn’t too bad a price to pay Toya had grabbed the first one that wasn’t a gossip rag and had taken it on the ship.
He’d only hoped it would keep him from losing his mind or trying to escape the ship over the two weeks he’d be on it, but he’d ended up becoming completely immersed in its contents.
Each item had looked as pretty and clear as glass, and the sight of the real flowers pressed inside had awoken something like rebellion inside of him. This was a form of art his father would’ve scoffed at–it was beautiful, and new, and Toya instantly knew he wanted to do it himself.
By the time he’d reached Helianthus he’d already spoken to multiple merchants and managed to acquire a tiny bit of resin to start him off. It had been tricky to procure everything he needed at first–there had been plenty of herbologists happy to help him find a way of creating more resin that worked for what he wanted to do, at least–but it hadn’t taken him long to settle in.
It had been almost two years now since he’d started and he still didn’t regret it.
It could’ve been anything. I could’ve picked up anything, and it still would’ve been better than classical music.
But doing this…it makes me feel as though I belong here.
He felt connected to the gentle people in the town around him–to Akito.
That’s why I have to do this.
Toya studied each page carefully, trying to think about which gift would work best for his friend.
Akito’s not really the type to enjoy “pointless” gifts like decor. He’s quite the practical person, but clothing is usually the exception to this.
I could make him a knife handle…but he spent a while saving up to buy a nice set. I don’t want to force him to choose between them.
Perhaps a plate?
I could use a lot more items like that. Maybe a few orange peels, and if I could find some of the other flowers he likes…
A plate does seem like a good idea.
It doesn’t really seem “gift” worthy, though.
He turned the page and stopped, staring at the jewelry decorating it.
That’s it.
I could make earrings!
Toya scrambled to his feet and raced to find his sketchbook, making a mad dash for the counter again and hastily scribbling out a few ideas. Akito doesn’t like flashy jewelry, so all the big pieces in the magazine are out.
But I’m sure I could do something nice regardless. “Flashy” has never really been my thing, either.
Perhaps I can encase a petal or two into resin and simply call it a day?
…That would be perfect if I had marigolds.
He swore to himself to try this idea again when they were in season and sadly scratched that idea out. Well, whatever. What else?
Let me think…I made earrings for Mrs. Shiraishi once.
She wanted lemon themed ones if I remember correctly. I ended up taking an entire slice of lemon, drying and coating it in resin to preserve it, then just attached it to a hook and sent it over.
An orange themed one would be my best shot.
Toya sketched out a few more ideas, eyeing the orange Akito had given him earlier while he worked. A whole slice would be fun, but I already did that for Mrs. Shiraishi, so it’s not very unique.
Perhaps one little piece?
I’ll dry it first so that it’s nice and flat.
He tapped his pen against the paper as he thought. That could be one earring. Akito has three piercings, though, so I ought to make at least one more.
Maybe a chain? I could do a tear-drop style and connect them by that little golden chain I’ve been saving.
But what to put inside the “drops”?
…I’ll worry about that one later.
He lifted his head to check the sky outside. It was beginning to transition from the afternoon’s amber yellow to the evening’s usual soft crimson, and already he could feel his stomach beginning to nag at him. It’s about time for dinner.
Usually I’d head over to Akito’s to eat, and then I’d stay over for a bit, but…
I want to start working right away.
If I tell him I can’t stay long today, will he think I’m angry with him about earlier?
Toya bit down on his lip. He didn’t want to give Akito any more reason to doubt him any further.
…I do want to see Akito.
I can start work whenever. Even if I have to stay up a little later a couple of nights, I don’t see myself running out of time when I’ve already decided everything.
I’ll head that way, then.
Akito was off the entire meal.
He clearly did his best to act normal when Toya was paying attention to him, but multiple times he caught him staring off into space, expression dull and slightly frustrated. When Toya pestered him for the reason why he only waved him off, muttering something about the jacket. It was obviously a half-lie, but he gave no other answer for him to work with.
At the very least, I’m glad I bought the jacket afterwards. Hopefully that will make him feel better, but…
…is the letter thing really bothering him?
He considered it as he made another attempt at conversation, Akito dragging himself back to the present to reply. It’s hard to figure him out. What is that’s got him so worked up over my investigation exactly?
Did he not actually have any actual intentions of changing things between us when he sent me the letter?
I suppose…I suppose that must be the case. He sent it anonymously, after all.
Akito must not want a relationship with me.
What will he do when I tell him how I feel?
Will he stop being my friend?
It was a painful thought, and Toya immediately tried to push it away. It returned insistently to nag at him regardless. Maybe it is a bad idea to tell him.
Perhaps I really shouldn’t be wasting any of my time on this.
He watched Akito talk about the cheesecake they’d made together as they set it out for dessert, finally cracking a little smile when it came time to serve it (a couple of slices ended up being saved for Ena despite what the other boy had said earlier.)
That face was truly too precious to ignore.
…No. I want to tell him.
At the very least, I want him to know that I care about more than he realizes.
Perhaps that’s all I need to say.
If I could banish Akito’s fears–
–what could become of us?