Work Text:
The Express Crew had taken a lengthy stretch of idle time for everyone to recover from Amphoreus's ordeals. For Stelle, this time was too long and yet would never be enough, and the end result was her staying in her room more often instead of coping by making trouble.
Such dormancy felt more like trying to sleep through unease, and eventually the anxiety and boredom chafed against each other so badly that she felt she had to do something about it. Her first choice was to text Dan Heng.
Hey
You busy at all?
The quickness of his reply said more than his reply in itself.
Not really.
Could you come up here for a bit? she texted back, unsure of how to elaborate.
Do you need anything?
Just you, please
Even as she sent that, she fought with herself about giving more information in hopes of convincing him to come up. She didn't want to outright say she was lonely, anxious, struggling with what Amphoreus did to her, because saying that would just bring it all to the fore when all she wanted was to be comfortable, or so she told herself.
The knock at her bedroom door made her jolt, a stray shot of adrenaline jabbing her heart. "Can I come in?" Dan Heng's voice through the door quieted the rush, but not completely.
"Come on in."
Her companion entered, closing the door behind him and aproaching her bed. "Are you alright?"
"Just kind of needy today," she said, extending her arms out to him. "Thanks for humoring me and coming up."
"It's alright." Dan Heng tucked himself in next to her, taking the cue to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. "Is this okay?"
"Mm-hm." The warmth in his hold was terribly tender, and when he added a squeeze and a kiss to her forehead, she had to speak up. "Are you doting on me right off the bat?"
"Yes," he answered. "You only ever describe yourself as needy or clingy when you're struggling and in need of care. So I'm providing it."
"Dan Heng, you're being so sweet," Stelle cooed, nuzzling into his neck.
"If that wasn't enough, you said 'please' when you asked for me. That said a lot about the state you were in."
"You're making my heart so full it might explode," she sputtered, trying to hold back the touched emotion in her voice by muffling it with his skin.
"I think, if I keep you close enough, I can dampen the explosion." He sighed, shaking his head, though still holding onto a faint smile. "What exactly is bothering you?"
"Uh." A beat passed, and then it was like the words completely deserted her. "I don't feel good," she said, deciding that that was the truest statement on hand.
"Mentally or physically?"
The question froze her, and her answer stuck in her throat as she ended up saying the quiet part out loud. "Neither."
"What happened?" Dan Heng gave her another squeeze, curling around her just that much tighter, as though personally shielding her from whatever was haunting her.
"I… I don't feel good," she repeated, her voice trembling as she tried to keep the scraps of Amphoreus from breaking through. "If I talk about it I might start crying."
"Alright. We don't have to talk about it yet. Focus on where you are right now." Cautiously, he brushed her bangs aside, waiting for her to steady.
Unsure of what else to do and desperate to avoid crying from the surge of emotion, she leaned in to kiss him, soft and sweet. He didn't resist, and seeing the light blush already coloring his face comforted her when she parted. "I'm sorry, I should have asked first."
"It's alright," he said once more. "Do you want more?" When she nodded, he went in to return the favor, the contact lingering gently.
When they parted, she went in for another, and another, and another, determined to pour as much love and appreciation into her contact as she felt she was receiving, pressing in more each time. Riding the sheer momentum of affection, she pulled herself on top of him.
Dan Heng pulled back, breath hitching. "Do you want a distraction?"
"Distraction?" Stelle tried to steady her breathing so she could think straight.
"You know, um…" He reached for one of the zippers on his top, hoping that would be enough to give her the hint.
"Oh." She found she couldn't overthink the implications, and she adjusted herself against his body. "Maybe not. Can I just… enjoy this with you? I don't think I have it in me to go the whole nine yards this time."
"Of course," he said, settling himself as he stroked along her head. "If you're comfortable, then I'm comfortable."
"But if you need to take your shirt off to be comfortable, that's fine by me," she countered, grinning.
"No, I'll cool off eventually." Dan Heng gave a dreamy little sigh, as if venting steam. "This happened a lot in Amphoreus, didn't it? We would fool around, get too tired or comfortable to go any further, and doze off like this."
"That's right. After everything, it felt so good to have you close again," Stelle said, her eyelids fluttering closed in time with Dan Heng's contact moving down her head.
"If I can help you feel safe and secure with my presence, then I'm content with that."
"I always feel safe with you, like I'm in a bubble of your good feelings." It was her turn for a steam-releasing sigh. "I'm happy," she murmured, already drifting off.
Or rather, she was drifting off until a certain voice brought her to attention all over again. "Yoo-hoo! I know you two are in there! I'm coming in!"
The two of them had no time to object before March sauntered through the door, and when she saw how they were stacked, she shot them a devious grin. "You two look comfy."
Dan Heng shot her the sternest look he could muster. "Now's not the time, March."
"Hi, March," Stelle mumbled, giving her a lackadaisical wave before rolling off Dan Heng to his right. "Join us."
"Oh?" The invitation caught March off guard, and she blinked a few times in confusion. "I mean, if it's alright with Dan Heng…"
"It's fine," Dan Heng said. "Stelle could use your support."
With that, March approached and just about hopped into bed next to Stelle. "What's up?"
"Oh, good, everyone's here." Stelle put her arms around her companions and closed her eyes, giving them a squeeze as she did.
"She's not feeling like herself today," Dan Heng specified.
March's next "Oh" was much softer, and for once she let the silence linger, adjusting herself in Stelle's hold to watch over her more comfortably.
Neither of them were quite sure how long the quiet moment lasted before a shudder reverberated through the bed, and the Trailblazer woke up and clung to March. "What happened?" she asked.
"I, uh… it got too quiet, and I felt a draft," Stelle muttered.
"How- wait, you're still freaked out by the cold?" March shook her head and returned the clinging as tight as she could. "I'm so sorry, I wish I could have done more-"
"It was Evernight, not you, and all's well that ends well, right?"
"Stelle." It was Dan Heng's turn to embrace her, curling around her ever so slightly as he did. "I'm not going to have you deflect away from your pain when you would fuss over us for doing the same."
Stelle hesitated before elaborating. "Everywhere in the memoria tide was cold, and there was no sound other than my feet on my ground or whoever Evernight chose to speak. Sometimes, when it gets really cold for no reason, or if it's too quiet, I can still see her looking at me while the ice cage closes in, and I want to reach out and grab her, but I can't because she already-"
"Stelle." Dan Heng brought her back to reality, speaking her name sharp as a spear pointed at her terror. "I won't have you deflect your pain, but I won't let you fixate on it, either. You're here, right now, with March and I. Focus on five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you hear, two things you can smell, and-"
"I'm so sorry," March repeated, now mashing herself against Stelle, cheek-to-cheek, her voice trembling. "I'm so sorry it still scares you, what can I-"
"You too, March. Five things you see, four you feel, three you hear-"
"No, I'm sorry," Stelle wailed. "I'm sorry that I went through all that and I can't hold myself up anymore."
"You never had to hold yourself up by yourself," Dan Heng said, his voice steady as the earth. "We're here for you."
"That's right, we're here for you."
"I know, I know… you're here, I'm safe now, nothing is coming for me." Stelle drew a deep breath, still shaking, but trying to calm herself as she released March and rolled onto her back. "Sometimes I forget how nice it is to have your smells near me. Dan Heng's nice green smell, like fresh grass and warm rocks, and March's nice pink smell, not the same as Cyrene's or Hyacine's, but…" She gave a dreamy little sigh. "Those tricks make me miss Hyacine."
"She was really good with that stuff, wasn't she?" March nodded, inadvertently nuzzling Stelle as she did.
"And then I miss Cyrene, and Phainon, and Aglaea and-"
"You know you can still visit them and give them our regards," Dan Heng said.
"I know, but Cyrene-"
"Remember that, and then remember where you are right now."
"I… I know…" Stelle blinked to hide the misting of her eyes. "You both take such good care of me… keep it up and I might explode."
"These are things you did for me before." Dan Heng's body relaxed when he determined the episode had passed. "Do you remember? When I was having the more intense nightmares, you told me to focus on where I was in reality."
"Yeah, I do…" With an indignant little whine and crunching her eyes closed, Stelle let her emotions erupt from her. "I can't take it anymore! I love you two so much!"
"Huh?"
"Hm?"
Stelle gave a pouty little huff. "The way I feel when I appreciate how you two care for me, and how much I want to take care of you two back… it can only be love. Right?" She felt compelled to fill the dumbfounded silence. "We don't have to get married or go on triple dates or anything. The way we watch over each other and keep each other strong and happy is enough. Right?" Another beat passed. "Right?!"
"You sound like Cyrene," March teased. "But if that's what you call love… then I love you too! To bits!" She pressed a cute little smooch to Stelle's cheek (complete with a "mwah!"), eliciting bubbly giggles.
"If that's how you feel, then…" Dan Heng took a deep breath. "I love you, too. And March as well."
"Aww, Dan Heng!" March drew out the syllables as she reached across Stelle to give Dan Heng a pat. "I love you too, you… you sweet string bean!"
"That's my name for him," Stelle half-whined in feigned protest.
"I thought it was Dragon Bear?"
"It was string bean first, but I'll keep Dragon Bear and you can have that."
"Ssh." Dan Heng extended his arms to hold both Stelle and March, sneaking a quick kiss to Stelle's other cheek.
"I'm so happy," Stelle murmured. "I feel my soul recharging just laying here."
"Good! I'll send you as much happy energy as I can," March said, shifting slightly but still remaining part of the metaphorical charging cradle.
"We can't stay here forever," Dan Heng cut in. "At the very least, I'll take you two out to have lunch or an early dinner."
"Ooh, food on Dan Heng? Yes please!" March chirped.
"I still have a budget."
"We don't have to go on a triple date," Stelle said.
"It's not about that. It's about making sure you two are fed and cared for-"
"I thought that was my job for you two!" The mock indignation propelled Stelle right to sitting up, nearly headbutting March in the process (earning her a startled squawk).
"Too bad." Dan Heng gave a quiet chuckle as he sat up. "It works on two fronts: I can make sure that you've fueled yourself, and I can take you out so you don't sit in your own unease."
"Yeah, yeah, stop pretending this is like checking a self-care to-do list," March teased as she pulled herself up. "Just admit you want to spoil us a little."
"That's just a bonus."
"I can't believe we've hit the point where you're the one spoiling us," Stelle said through a pout, pretending to be upset by the turn of events. "I'll get you back for this, just you wait!"
"I look forward to seeing how you plan to do that." Dan Heng peeled himself out of bed, a rare smirk on his face. "If we get moving now, I can take you to the place that includes desserts with their lunch specials."
The bribe worked, and both girls sprang up to follow him to a good treat.