Archive of Our Own

"Are you good, bro?"

Theo asked carefully, speaking from behind. A hand was rested over his friend's shoulder.

It laid there for a moment before being brushed off gently.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

Parrot smiled back weakly. Admittedly, he didn't buy his own words, and he could tell his friend didn't either. He was more focused on winning this election than himself. The good of the server was more important.

After an awkward, uncomfortably pregnant silence, Theo mercifully aborted it with a click of his tongue.

"Well.. we should probably get going now. The others are probably waiting for you." He gestured for them to leave and Parrot nodded, taking the lead in bringing them out.

No one else was present in the impressively grand hallways, most notably the other candidates. That meant he would be the last arriving on stage. Again.

It didn't really pester him the way demons from his past had. Or rather, one demon and a lineage of dead friends and allies. A lineage he'd rather ignore in favour of pressing into the future and living in the present.

Theo had the slightest idea of the entire story. He kept things vague, only ever really referring to his former friends as just former friends and not present corpses. He'd likely pieced together certain details but otherwise, his grief was his.

...

He barely recalled anything from the debate.

Other than Ace being the person running it, and Boosfer actually talking for once, he hadn't retained anything. He didn't even remember what had come out of his own mouth. All he could think about was the pressing guilt and grief, gnawing at his mind, scratching at the back of his throat.

All he could think about were those annoying what-ifs. What if Dean or Luigi were standing in that crowd, what if Spepticle had never sacrificed himself, what if Nufuli had never been shot, what if Boomie had lived beyond the Great Sea.

What if he took one of their places. He'd rather have that than live with the knowledge that it was him who was spared every single time.

...But the server needed someone to rule for the good of the server. Not power, or control, or whatever motivation a specific green candidate had, just the best intentions.

So he sufficed.

...

The two biggest birds stepped down the ever-empty halls, making for their dorm. Theo was rattling something about how the election was sure to shift a little more in their favour. He paused for a moment.

"Dude, did you even prepare anything?" He questioned in complete awe. Not the negative kind, like bewilderment — complete fascinated awe.

"Um.. no, I just spoke from the heart." Parrot answered honestly. "How did I do?"

It earned him a scoff from lack of believing him.

"Really? You didn't prepare anything? You completely crushed all three of them out there!"

Admittedly, he was rather surprised. He didn't remember saying anything that would be that substantial. It wasn't difficult to win against Boosfer or Purpled in a debate, but hearing he'd supposedly beaten all of his rivals...

It definitely boosted his confidence a little. It could've just been his friend hyping him up, but getting praise like that from Theo probably meant he was accurate.

"Really? I thought I'd completely fumbled." He pretended to immediately remember at least some of the debate. At least his half, because he couldn't bother remembering what the other candidates had said.

"Nah, you destroyed them out there, dude. I'd be surprised if any of them had the courage to show themselves in front of an audience again." Theo continued to praise the words he couldn't even recall.

It kind of made him feel worse. Not being able to remember anything, other than small details.

Parrot faked a convincing smile.

"I know Lettuce would have the guts to, and Boosfer would figure something out."

"Tch, like hell he would."

...

Parrot started to tune everything out. His mind was too hyperfixated on what had happened months ago.

He didn't know why, nor would he really care to know why.

But he pretended to engage and remember. Even when conversation topics switched.

Up until it was late, and they went to bed about an hour apart.

As Parrot slept as soundly as he possibly could, Theo was struggling. He'd noticed how stressed and worried his friend had been about... everything. He'd been worrying about his friend since he noticed that he'd been feigning his memory.

But he'd kept it to himself, and now it was keeping him up. Silently lamenting over what he really should've brought up earlier.

He laid awake, staring holes into the ceiling, considering if it would be worth it to kill some time outside. Or just anywhere away from Northern Council. Preferably with something a little explosive.

At least, he was considering it, until Parrot began muttering something. Something about a friend he himself kind of knew for a bit.

Wifies.

Parrot had started talking about Wifies, and mentioning some other guy.

Theo knew he was asleep — he just figured it was a sleep talking situation. Probably would've been useful to know beforehand but... whatever, he's slept through worse.

He just tried to tune his mumbles out. It was long-winded but not really comprehendible. He didn't really care what he was talking about, especially considering there were more important things to be worrying about.

"..Wait, come over here," Parrot muttered, finally coherent, with a brief pause, "I wanna show you something."

That drew in Theo's attention, stirring him from whatever bout of unconsciousness he could've possibly had. His wings drew in, tensing, as he began to listen closer.

A moment of complete silence passed. Likely from his friend's dream-self silently walking, or moving, or whatever equivalent.

So, he remained laying, silently listening in case anything else was said.

"What do you want to show me?"

A perfect mimicry of Wifies' voice.

He barely even remembered it, but it was so crystal clear and flawless that he almost felt like his friend for a split second there.

Theo shot up like a firework, his wings becoming as tense as they physically could be. The dead silence that followed felt incredibly eerie.

The faint rustle of blankets and a sharp gasp alerted him that Parrot was wide awake now. He presumed he'd snapped awake once dream-Wifies spoke. If not then, a little afterwards.

"Parrot?"

He called out, just loud enough that he knew it would be heard. But he didn't get a reply.

Instead, everything went dead silent again. The sudden silence was deeply uncomfortable. A feeling formed. Vague, and hopefully off-base, but something felt... incredibly weird.

So he got up, and began carefully guiding himself through the room. What he could see of the miniscule amounts of light peeking through their windows helped guide him to Parrot. Slightly.

There his friend sat, upright, head buried in his palms as his head's wings folded over to hide his face and hands.

He stepped a bit closer.

"Parrot..?" He called again, softer this time, kneeling a little so he was closer to eye-level with him. Even if he couldn't currently see him, he could definitely hear him.

The lack of further response deeply concerned him. So he, against what would probably be his better sense, came close enough to be directly sitting on the edge of the bed.

"..Are you alright?"

All he got in response was a soft sniffle, like Parrot was trying yet failing to hold in his cries.

Fuck.

He wasn't the best with other's emotions, or emotional responses. But he was even worse at comforting people in explicit distress.

Instead of even trying, he stopped talking completely. He was tired and didn't have the mental space to even start a weak attempt, as unfortunate as that was. Yes, he could have asked about the dream, or maybe he could quietly try to lull Parrot into a comfortable-to-talk state.

As bad as the latter would have gone.

More awkward and uncomfortable silence passed. Parrot's wings were drawn back, he was completely still, yet, it still felt like he was resisting doing... something. But Theo couldn't tell what though.

After another minute, he finally reached a hand out to his shoulder.

That aforementioned feeling was validated when Parrot completely shifted and moved. He pulled himself from his silent crying and physically latched onto him, tears flowing, sobs beginning to openly come out, wings wrapping over both of them. A complete departure from his usual behaviour.

It didn't bother Theo, instead putting him off. He wasn't expecting this from him, especially not in the middle of the night.

Their physical contact was extremely limited - basically non-existent past occasionally dapping each other up or other minor exchanges - yet he held on like a magnet.

Emotionally, he was usually level and collected. Practically never opening up beyond the surface level. Yet the floodgates had burst open.

He didn't know what to do, or say, if he should say anything at all. All he could immediately think to do was to let him hold him there as a literal shoulder to cry on.

Parrot breathed in shakily, staggering a little, burying his face into his shoulder as much as he physically could without just outright melting into it. It was almost like he was trying to make sure he wouldn't end up alone in there.

Hands clawing at the back of his friend's shirt, wings draped over them both, releasing those months and months of pent-up emotions. He was conscious about his noise level, so he was as quiet as he could be, but it was made up for by how many tears he let fall.

He was releasing enough to possibly fill up a large bowl in one go. Not like he was gonna try, when Theo was right here for him to hold onto.

He wasn't going to let go. Not anytime soon anyway.

It was better than feeling like he was going to throw up, all because he dreamt of Wifies. Not based on memories from when they were friends, no — made up scenarios with those moments as the settings.

He muttered something incoherent. Truth be told, he didn't know what he was even trying to say. Just something he felt like he just had to let out.

Another few moments of this passed before Theo stuttered out a quiet, soft, "..Hey."

Then another passed and he finally moved to hesitantly reciprocate Parrot's clamp over him. Just a lot lighter, not clawing at his back to hold him. He kept his wings back, relaxed over the edge of his bed, feathers scraping the floor.

...

The cries subsided after another few minutes, but Parrot didn't say anything, becoming silent.

"A-Are you okay, man?" He was asked, sincerely, prompting him to pull his head back, still sniffling tearfully.

He'd become a true mess in that state. Puffy red eyes, slightly quivering lip, unruly bangs, messed up feathers. The immediate reaction to seeing him that way was a quiet 'oh'.

He sniffed again. "..Sorry." His voice was meek and tired. Almost wavering a little. He wiped his eyes, not drying them even a little bit.

Theo gave a weak smile in a poor attempt at assurance.

"It's alright, man. Happens to the best of us." His light joking tone put Parrot at ease enough to draw his wings away and over his back. But his tone felt a little insincere. Could've been how tired he was, could've been hesitance.

"I just... I don't know what came over me."

A moment of silence. It was incredibly awkward, since Theo was still sitting there, kind of blank-faced, while Parrot looked down in embarrassment. Holding his arms like he was trying to hug himself. Or shrink into himself and disappear.

"..What were you talking about, by the way?" He aborted the silence so it was less tense and all-around weird in the room.

"Oh, um.." Parrot looked up finally, face hot with embarrassment, "I just... had a weird dream. That's all."

Truthfully, he was saying that to avoid likely tripping over the roots. But they were already standing under the incredibly obvious tree. So his words weren't going to be entirely taken at face value.

"Well.. what happened? You sounded like Wifies for a moment there."

Another brief, tense silence fell over them.

"I just.. dreamt that we were back at Paragon, and..." He pursed his lips to silence himself, bottom lip quivering already, trying to keep himself steady. He withdrew a little physically, like he was trying not to latch on again.

Theo breathed in to talk, but was interrupted before he could even try.

"I was actually content there."

He sounded - and looked - like he just made a horrible confession that he should be ashamed of. But the look he saw from his eyelashes told him he could feel otherwise.

Because Theo looked... sympathetic. Not surprised at the abrupt name drop of a place his friend didn't know of, nor at the notion that his dream self was happy there. No.

He looked entirely sympathetic to what he was saying. He didn't know the full backstory or context, all he knew was that he and Wifies were friends who had a rough falling out.

Yet he cared.

He raised his head.

"Do you..." Theo was careful about what he said, "Want to talk about it? I might not really understand, but—"

"Not right now. I just want to get some more sleep, honestly." Parrot interrupted without thinking or meaning to. But he was honest. He did want to get some more sleep, and maybe revisit the topic at another date.

Maybe. Hell knows he actually would follow through though.

"Alright." Theo finally stood again, stretching out his wings. "Just come to me if you ever need to talk about it. M'kay?" He didn't acknowledge the Paragon mention, because he didn't really care about it in the moment. All he was concerned about was that his friend was alright then.

"..Yeah. I'll do that." His agreement was hollow.

They both knew that.

"Goodnight, and uh.. sorry for waking you up."

"Don't worry about it. Goodnight." Theo began making for his bed again, hoping he'd finally be able to sleep.

Admittedly, his curiosity had been piqued when Paragon was mentioned. He'd never really heard of that, had he?

...It didn't seem like Parrot was too fond of the place anyway. Sounded like it was a prison.

He laid back down and got comfortable enough to sleep.

Maybe, someday, Parrot would let him know everything.