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1. This Feelings Old, and I Know that I’ve Made up my Mind by K0maeda_88

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

   • Mature
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   09 Feb 2026

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander & Yuna Hollander
   • Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Anya | Ilya Rozanov's Dog
   • Yuna Hollander
   • David Hollander
   • Brandon Wiebe
   • Irina Rozanova
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Angst
   • Heavy Angst
   • Mental Health Issues
   • Suicidal Thoughts
   • Implied/Referenced Suicide
   • Self-Harm
   • Emotional Hurt
   • Mental Instability
   • Mental Breakdown
   • Hospitals
   • Hockey Fights
   • Blood and Injury
   • Alcohol
   • Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug
   • Ilya Rozanov Needs Therapy
   • Worried Shane Hollander
   • Depressed Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov Whump
   • Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better
   • Not Beta Read
   • Shane Hollander Takes Care of Ilya Rozanov
   • Protective Ilya Rozanov
   • Arguing
   • Miscommunication
   • Hopeful Ending
   • Angst with a Hopeful Ending
   • Hurt Ilya Rozanov
   • Autistic Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Needs a Hug
   • Grief/Mourning
   • Author Loves Em Dashes
   • Fuck AI
   • Panic Attacks
   • Irina Rozanova Haunts the Narrative
   • Dead Irina Rozanova

   Summary

   Ilya Rosanov thought he understood depression, and how to handle it. He was supposed to be happy, living his life with Shane peacefully, exactly where he always wanted to be.

   But he’s haunted by his family curse, ruining everything he touches.

   And somehow, ending up like his mama doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

   It might be his only way out.

   TLDR: Ilyas mental health spirals fast, but he doesn’t dare let anyone know.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   56,853

   Chapters:

   7/7

   Comments:

   56

   Kudos:

   662

   Bookmarks:

   165

   Hits:

   12,216