Chapter Text
Another day, another train ride home.
There wasn't much to write home about as buildings whizzed past the train car. Saku felt himself sink into the padded seats of the train, his hands clutching his bag as he gazed out the window. He could feel the sun breathing over his nape, warming it up as he pressed his head to the plexiglass. There was no mistaking the emotions he was feeling right now.
Saku was unspeakably bored.
It wasn't necessarily out of character, but his commuting friend who usually started conversations on the ride home had been especially clammy today. Perhaps nothing interesting came to her mind, either. He couldn't exactly blame her—her classes likely drained her, after all. In contrast to the light shining behind him, she almost looked like she was emanating darkness as she slumped into the corner.
Subaru sank into the corner, allowing her head to rest on the divider between her seat and the door. It almost would have been cozy, if she could feel that way at all at the moment, but she had too much to think about. The sun shone through the windows of the train, casting an orange light over her commuting friend, almost as if he were an item in a video game you could pick up.
Today had been a long day for Subaru.
It was always difficult to focus in class when a man sat next to her. She'd be too reserved, too disconnected, too scared to pay attention to the lecture, and it would only get worse if they acknowledged her existence. That alone made her university experience a difficult time. She recalled what Saku called it: "aggressive therapy". He was right in that it was certainly an aggressive approach.
But she should have been able to handle simply sitting close to a boy. In fact, she was doing it right now. Granted, Saku is a special case. They've been close for quite a while, after all. It's nothing quite like those strangers that end up sitting next to her due to a lack of seats, or those weirdos who catcall her on campus. He was safer, somehow, and so were his friends. Even if that's literally just Hidaka at T University.
That wasn't the real reason this day was so long, though. That would have to be the encounter she had today.
"Hey, sick hair, girl!"
"You free after this? Let's hang out."
"Aww, why so scared? I don't bite. Promise."
Subaru felt frozen in place. She wanted so desperately to tell the approaching man that she wasn't free. That she had plans for the day already, or that she was already seeing someone, or that she had a strict curfew. Any sort of white lie to throw him off. She couldn't do it. Her vocal chords felt just as stiff as the rest of the muscles in her body, blocking the air that would have otherwise been used to vocalize her thoughts.
She was trapped.
"I…" she managed, before her voice caught.
"Does she look interested to you?" cried an unknown voice. It belonged to a woman, her body now protectively blocking Subaru as she came out of nowhere.
"Get a grip, man, don't just say that to random girls." This voice was from a man, who had joined the girl in trying to defend Subaru. "Don't you have better things to do?"
The aggressor scoffed, then backed away. "Guess you've got fangs after all, kitty." An infuriating parting shot.
The man and the woman turned to Subaru, who still couldn't get herself to breathe steady.
"I hope he didn't say anything too creepy," wished the girl.
The man followed up. "You should probably go. For your own safety."
Wordlessly, Subaru bowed, leaving in the direction she came. She heard faint voices as she left from the man and the woman.
"That was so dangerous, babe. I'm glad things turned out alright."
"I couldn't just leave her there, could I?"
"Please don't do something that reckless if I'm not around."
Subaru sighed at the memory.
She couldn't even muster up a 'thank you'.
Perhaps if it were just the woman who helped save her, she could have managed. But the man was there, too. They were a couple, so he shouldn't have been too terrible of a man, but she was still mortified. If only she weren't afraid of men. If only she didn't have to deal with this problem.
Before she knew it, the announcer voice blared within the train as it came to a stop.
Her commuter friend spoke up. "Ah, this is my stop. See you tomorrow, Hoshina-san."
"Oh."
That singular phoneme had only come out of Subaru's mouth as Saku was halfway out of the train car.
He gave her a weak smile, waving her goodbye through the closing doors.
Like he always did.
At least that hasn't changed, she thought, her mind feeling a little more at ease.
If only she could see her face at that moment.
Saku had dropped his phone. Directly on the concrete sidewalk. Thank heavens for modern screen protectors, otherwise he might have been done for.
He had just stopped by at a corner store to pick up a few snacks for his sisters. As he left the store, plastic bag in hand, he languidly checked his messages out of boredom. This turned out to be a grave mistake. He crouched down and picked up his phone, trying not to drop it again as he reread the messages on the cracked screen protector. A deep chill coursed through his spine.
Hoshina: Natsusawa-kun.
Hoshina: I need you.
???
Saku felt as if he had turned into a ghost. His heart must have fallen out of his ribcage.
Why would she phrase it like that?
What did this even mean? Is this really the sort of thing you say to a friend? Saku couldn't rationalize this. He tried, to little avail, as his mind fed off his own anxiety and uncertainty a bit too much. It wasn't necessarily out of character, Subaru's always had a penchant for saying things that may be just the slightest bit… intimate? Even if she never really meant it in that way.
At least, that's what Saku tried telling himself.
His thoughts were interrupted by Subaru sending him a location.
Hoshina: Is now a bad time?
Saku put his free hand on his temple, pressing so hard he almost gave himself a migraine. Subaru had meant 'I need you here', not 'I need you'. Saku almost wanted to laugh, although he was a bit too busy trying to calm himself down. There were no undertones at play. He hadn't given her the wrong idea. She simply requested his presence. That was all.
Natsusawa: On my way.
The location that Subaru gave took Saku to the beach. When he arrived, he caught a head of silver hair in his eyesight. Subaru was already there, standing like a statue on the middle of the beach, expecting his arrival. Saku wasn't sure what to expect from her, asking to meet him at the beach. A part of him wondered why she would take him there instead of somewhere closer.
Strange… Why the beach? What does she want with me..? Saku thought. He wasn't expecting a sudden meetup at the beach. The ride there took an age already. The golden sun painted the sky as Saku stood, thinking. He saw a glimpse at Subaru's expressions from afar. It was clear that she has something in her chest that needed to be released. Saku then had a scary thought.
What if she wanted to con-
Saku immediately cut off his selfish thought, slapping himself on the face. Goddamnit Saku. There's no way she'll do that… He shook his head.
I can't keep her waiting now, she must have something important to tell me. He stepped on the beach, eventually approaching to Subaru, facing her now.
"Hey…"
"Natsusawa-kun."
"What seems to be the problem, Hoshina-san..?"
"…" Subaru, deep in thought, trying to come up the words that could help her explain her situation clearly.
"Hoshina-san?"
"… I'm sorry for being weird earlier."
"Weird…? How?"
"I wasn't able to talk to you during the ride home, I was so lost in thought."
"Could you tell me more?"
"I don't know… it's just I had a bad encounter today and this was stuck on my mind for the rest of the day. I'm still afraid of the opposite sex, Natsusawa-kun, I don't know how to even get out of situations like these…" Subaru said, her voice meek.
"Hoshina-san, calm down… you have me here, so let's take it slow, okay?" Saku calmly reassured Subaru. "Could you tell me what happened exactly?"
Subaru sighed. "Some… man was trying to hit me up, I think. I couldn't have gotten out alone, and that really bothered me… Some kind strangers appeared too—a couple, I think? They helped me out of it. But… well…"
Saku listened patiently, trying to understand why Subaru was troubled. The beach was empty, giving them the silence to fully express themselves, face to face. As he looked Subaru in the eye, her expressions showed that she was deeply affected by the situation.
Subaru put her head in her hands, the thought feeling terribly pathetic in her mind. "I couldn't even say my thanks to them. The boyfriend scared me so much. He couldn't have been a bad person, but it was still so terrifying."
"God, I really am pathetic, aren't I?"
"Don't say that… you know you couldn't do anything here." Saku said with a soft voice, comforting Subaru.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Hoshina-san. It was a natural reaction, especially considering your aversion towards men. I'd say you did perfectly fine."
"I would still think I should've been able to stand up for myself after meeting you and the others, yet I couldn't even muster up the courage to thank my saviors. I'm… afraid."
"I'm really afraid, Natsusawa-kun. It feels like I can't do anything. It's not like it is with you."
Hoshina-san… I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Saku thought, knowing how much that affected Subaru.
"It's fine though. Probably. I think I have… some sort of idea to fix this?"
"What might that idea be…?"
Subaru looked carefully at Saku and nodded her head.
"Think about it this way. It's easy to talk to you compared to other men. Why might that be? Is it because I know you better? I don't really understand myself. But since you're so easy to talk to…"
"That makes you the perfect test dummy, no?
"Dummy…? What are you talking about?" Saku was lost.
"Like… a man I can practice on."
Saku, still lost, could sort of see a light at the end of the tunnel. "I… suppose so?"
Subaru smiled. "Does that mean you'll help me, Natsusawa-kun?"
"S-sure," Saku stammered.
"Natsusawa-kun." Subaru's enunciation was clear, demanding Saku's attention. He looked towards her, anticipation in his eyes.
Subaru suddenly spread her arms wide, almost as if she were trying to give him a hug. Her eyes darted around tentatively, as if to study Saku's body language.
"Hold me."