Chapter Text
Validation. The need of it creeps under Akutagawa's skin. Even in his dreams he feels unhinged because of it. Due to this, he spent his short-lived life chasing onto Dazai's approval. Which he couldn't obtain—even if he were to be the best in everything.
But then, when he was introduced to the weretiger, Atsushi Nakajima—a freak who licks past wounds. Somehow, earned the man's approval. It should've been him. It should've been Akutagawa Ryunosuke. But, fate is a cruel plotter that twists every canon events.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke, a hungry dog chasing after a false treat—will he eventually earn it?
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December 31st, 20xx,
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“The day before the worst year of my life.”
Behind the gleeful night of new years eve, I spent the last day of the year training. I kept trying to improve in every category—combat intelligence, strength, strategies, etc. Until every part of my body became unbearably painful, I still chased after my dream. Even if I didn't know if Dazai-san was truly alive after his departure, I kept chasing him.
But I could barely attain enough achievements with this frail body. I'm a weak-being. I know that very well. But Dazai-san knows that more than me. And I'm sure that, if he was still in the Port Mafia, I'd still get “advices” or “punishments” from him.
Sometimes, I wonder if I actually do reach his expectations—how can I ever react to such accomplishement? Maybe I'd actually be allowed to act like a fool once. But that's just a hypothetical situation. It may never come true.
NOTE: PLS WAIT I WILL FUCKING FINISH THIS I HAVE A SHIT TON OF SCHOOL WORK TO DO PLSSSS REMIND ME 💔