new rule: no scaring my husband with dumb posts
Troy
???
Bood
… Roger that I guess?
LaPointe
This feels targeted
is very targeted
Harris
What posts? What happened?
Shane
He nearly broke his neck is what happened!
Harris
Who?????
Shane
My new least favorite rookie.
The one who should probably be in a neck brace right now.
LaPointe
Well that feels like an exaggeration
what is not exaggeration is everyone doing bag skates all practice tomorrow😒
Bood
Boo! Booooooo!
Wyatt
Why are we being punished? Pointey didn’t even invite us to the stupid party
LaPointe
Your invite’s in the mail still don’t worry it's coming
Shane
For the record, I don’t appreciate my calls being screened all evening.
LaPointe
I was going through a tunnel all night, I swear
now shane is pouting more
so now we will run bags for two practices
Bood
Everyone bring a tomato to practice to throw at Pointey
Luca!
sign of life!
Luca
Huh?
he lives!
Shane
Great, now you can call off the manhunt.
Luca
Manhunt?
is when I send man from Taken to find my stolen child
Luca
I am more confused now
Link: TMZ on Instagram “Uh Oh! Centaurs…”
Luca
Ahh
ahh?!?!
Luca
Ahh...?
Shane
He thought you were going to be on an episode of Dateline.
Luca
What is dateline?
it was your future!
you were stolen by stranger!
Luca
… Well he was not a stranger for very long
😨😨😨
Shane
Sorry Luca, Ilya’s in a bit of a mood.
He’s curled up in a ball talking about how they “grow up too fast.”
Please enjoy your weekend off.
no! there has been too much enjoyment already!
Luca
I will try to take this as caring instead of creepy, Cap.
I will be sending you box of condom in mail. it is good brand, what Shane and I used when we were still sexy and young. will keep you very safe
and do not forget safewords!
Luca
We are becoming less caring and more creepy now
Young
quick what am I allergic to
Troy
How would we know that
Bood
This feels like a call your mom question
Shane
Raspberries.
Bood
Nevermind, mom has already entered the chat
Young
Shit
I guessed wrong
Wyatt
?????
Young
unrelated question
how allergic am I
Troy
Again, I think this is a question for someone else dude
Bood
Do you not like. have a doctor. or any memory of yourself
Shane
You’re the throat swelling up kind of allergic.
Young
Well that’s gonna be unfortunate
Shane
… Why?
WHY
please tell him why before vein in his head pops
Wyatt
??????????????
Shane
WHY
Bood
Never heard silence speak so loudly
Luca
wha ro,m
Wyatt
Huh?
Bood
???
Luca
hat rroom
hate to say these words but in english please?
Troy
Try one more time bud
Luca
Wha t
room
Shane
Like what room are you in right now…? Or what room are you staying in at the hotel…?
To be clear, either question is alarming.
Young
he mens hortle
hot el
what is happening
where are you
I am calling uber now
tell me where
Luca
😛
that is not location
Wyatt
Who are they out with? Dillon? You still with them?
Dillon
No I left them a couple hours ago. It was just Haas, Young, and Bergy still out
you left the children alone????
Bood
😡😡
Troy
Dude not cool
Dillon
I mean they aren’t actually children…
Wyatt
They’re newborns
Dykstra
Literally born just yesterday. Prematurely too!
it is strange city! they are lost! like nemo!
Dykstra
Nemo?
the little fishie Dykstra! keep up!
Shane
Dillon where did you leave the boys? We are coming to get them.
Dillon
A club in the north side, but they were heading somewhere else when I left
No clue where
helpful as always
Luca where are you?
Luca
🏄♀️
thank you for trying. you are still my favorite
Luca
🏄♀️
Young? do you know where you are?
Young
y es
Where?
Young
where What
where are you?
Young
who
Wyatt
This is going really well for you
Shane
Team curfew was hours ago.
father time is correct and not helping. Holmberg? any more sober?
Bergy
ddfmmf
Shane
At what point do we call the police? Can you put out an amber alert on your grown teammates?
I will find them. hold all horses.
if anyone has seen 3 large children in Ottawa jersey running loose let me know
144k Retweets 22.7k Quote Tweets 179k Likes
Syd @hayesgirl4ever · June 12
Replying to @roz81
Kingfisher Stan @scottiehuntme · June 12
Replying to @roz81
Oh god which ones did you lose this time
Mrs. Rozanov @hollanovthirdwheel · June 12
Replying to @roz81
Do you mean Haas, Young, and Holmberg?
ilya
@roz81 · June 12
Replying to @hollanovthirdwheel
yes, this — you have seen?
Mrs. Rozanov @hollanovthirdwheel · June 12
Replying to @roz81
I took a selfie with them ten minutes ago inside Hudson’s in the south end.
ilya @roz81 · June 12
Replying to @hollanovthirdwheel
Mrs Rozanov you are officially my second favorite Mrs Rozanov
large terrible children have been located
Shane and I are retrieving now
Troy
Our heroes
Wyatt
Everyone say thank youuuu shannneeee and ilyaaaa
Bood
Everyone say hangoverrrr
once we fetch them I am putting tracker on them
like on anya’s collar
only they do not get pink rhinestone collar
have not earned it
Shane
Normally I would say we are not tracking our human rookies like a dog. But I’m already googling tracking devices.
I am coming moi malyshi. do not get into any strange white vans in meantime
127k Retweets 42.7k Quote Tweets 169.3k Likes
cara @roselandrysmistress · June 12
Replying to @roz81
Why does he sound like my mother
Troy Barrett @TroyBbaby · June 12
Replying to @roselandrysmistress
Years of practicing and perfecting
children have been secured
139k Retweets 68k Quote Tweets 162.4k Likes
Troy Barrett @TroyBbaby · June 12
Replying to @roz81
You know there were three of them right
ilya @roz81 · June 12
Replying to @TroyBbaby
yes. Luca gets to sleep in backseat because he is favorite. Young is in trunk because it is “roomy”. Bergy is tied on car roof because he puke on my shoes.
giant terrible babies are alive 🙄
211k Retweets 79k Quote Tweets 245.7k Likes
Luca
Quick question
For a trusted adult
How much is too much bleach to eat
Shane
...
Well ideally you would have none.
So.
None.
Luca
Hmm
Is that a firm none or like a suggestion none
Shane
It’s an “I have poison control on speed dial” none.
if you are so hungry for terrible food come to our house for dinner
Shane is making salad bunny would not even eat
has mysterious ingredients, will be just as fun as bleach
Shane
I know that you know what kale is, Ilya. It’s not a mystery.
Luca
No I have made dinner
That is the problem
I was cleaning counters
And I sprayed the Clorox on my pasta
It’s probably fine though right
Shane
Probably not.
Luca
But it will cook off in the water
I do not think you know how cooking works
or water
Luca
I’ll just give it a little try and see what happens
Shane
I’m begging you to just order takeout.
I’ll even support you getting that terrible pizza you and Ilya got last week.
cheeseburger pizza! yes!
this is what we will be having for dinner now tonight too
thank you for reminder, moy pomidor
Shane
We are having the delicious non-mysterious salad Ilya.
we will have cheeseburger pizza and Haasy will join us because he decided not to eat any bleach
Shane
Haasy is being suspiciously quiet.
Luca
I ate the pasta
no! we were so close to delicious pizza burger combination!
Shane
How does it… taste?
Luca
Normal
But I am trying to remember if my mouth normally tingles after eating food
Shane
Calling poison control now.
stay away from light Luca!
We as the Centaurs organization would like to offer a heartfelt apology to anyone who was disturbed by the lengthy fight that broke out during last night’s game between our captain, Ilya Rozanov, and several members of the Toronto Guardians. This is not who we are as an organization.
56k Retweets 32k Quote Tweets 109.8k Likes
Wyatt Hayes @hazyhayes · Oct 30
Replying to @OttawaCentaursOfficial
But it is who the Guardians are as an organization 🥰
ilya @roz81 · Oct 30
Replying to @OttawaCentaursOfficial
Yes yes I am very sorry. Sorry I only knock out three teeth. Next time will be all of them🙏
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursOfficial · Oct 30
Replying to @roz81
Oh haha so funny! He’s just joking! Rozanov has a very unique sense of humor.
ilya @roz81 · Oct 30
Replying to @OttawaCentaursOfficial
Oh yes. I am making joke. Here is another joke: check Troy Barrett that hard again and I will make us all learn if your girlfriend still wants you with dented face. LOL
As your social media manager I’m going to confiscate your phone and throw it in a blender
As Troy’s boyfriend, feel free to hit them harder next time
🫡
Tell your boyfriend to keep his blood inside his body where it belongs next time
If I have grey hairs tomorrow he will pay for dye
lapointeyyy
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