Chapter Text
•Zhou Anxin•
Seoul was a rainy, overcast place back then.
The weather changed constantly, just like my mood.
We moved from China to Korea because my father was offered a better job, so the entire family followed him. I was already depressed, but the move pushed me straight to the edge of hell itself. School only made everything worse.
Lee Sangwon ruined my life.
It didn’t matter how handsome he was, because his soul was cruel. He was the school’s bad boy. A flirt, a heartbreaker, someone who had nearly every girl and more than a few boys as well. And somehow, unbelievably, I fell in love with him. Love at first sight, they call it.
Believing him was my biggest mistake.
Behind his kind facade lived a demon who used people and walked over everyone, including me. I believed he could change for me. My painfully naive side truly thought I would be enough. I was wrong. I lost everything, and I was betrayed.
It had all been a bet. A cruel game about whether the “pathetic Chinese boy” would fall for the rich, handsome guy. What a cliché.
But anyone who knew Sangwon knew how dangerously attractive he was. He could charm even straight men without trying.
My name is Zhou Anxin, and at seventeen, I ended up in a hospital for the first time after a suicide attempt.
My friends stood by me, but they couldn’t save me. My parents broke down, and so did I. No one wanted me to return to school, but I wanted to prove that I was strong.
Two months after my attempt, Sangwon started harassing me again.
That was the moment I finally hit him.
I will never forget the words I shouted at him, because that was when everything changed.
-How dare you play with people’s feelings like this? You’re a massive asshole, just so you know. Being a spoiled, rich little brat doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want. And if you ever talk to me again, I’ll hit you so hard the wall will feel it.
He just stared at me with wide, stunned eyes.
That was the beginning of everything.
Two weeks later, Sangwon apologized. Of course, I didn’t believe him at first and sent him away. But he didn’t give up. He tried for weeks, and one day I finally gave in. We started talking. Then we became friends.
All the while, my love for him burned inside me, painfully and silently.
Months later, we became inseparable.
Until the day he introduced me to his first serious girlfriend.
That was when I shattered all over again. I smiled, congratulated them, and wished them happiness. He slowly drifted away from me, and I tried to leave his life too, but I couldn’t.
The moment I truly broke was when I waited for him in front of the cinema for two hours, and he never showed up.
That night, I shut everyone out.
The suicidal thoughts returned.
I would never admit it out loud, but I often imagined what it would feel like to jump from a tall building, or step in front of a speeding train.
My phone kept ringing. Dozens of messages from Sangwon.
I ignored them all.
The next day at school, he acted offended.
-Anxin, what the hell do you even have a phone for if you won’t answer it?
-Don’t even start acting like the victim. I have every right to be angry. I waited for you for two fucking hours in front of the cinema. Ever since she entered your life, our friendship has meant nothing.
That was the first time I ever cried in front of him.
-I’m sorry, Anxin. I’m just happy that Minseo is part of my life. I wish you two could get along.
He smiled at me. I couldn’t smile back.
-I can’t, Sangwon. I can’t be part of your life. It hurts too much to see you happy. It hurts because I feel the same way about you as Minseo does. But I want you to be happy. And you are with her. So be happy.
I looked up at him and pressed a quick, gentle kiss to his lips.
With tear-filled eyes and a faint, fake smile, I turned around and ran away.
The rain was pouring over Seoul that night.
The wind tore through the trees, the streets were empty. Just a few cars… and me.
I stood there in the downpour until I caught pneumonia.
High fever. Burning pain with every breath. Unbearable suffering. And a strange sense of peace.
In that moment, I died.
I saw the white light everyone talks about.
A dream came true, and death finally took me with it.
I remember feeling relief. I was happy it was over.
And for a while… it truly was.
-Love, what the hell are you doing? Sitting alone in the dark with your laptop?-a soft, familiar voice asks quietly. A voice I would recognize among thousands.
-You’re home already? I’m just finishing the story I’m writing.-I say, standing up and greeting the love of my life with a deep, emotional kiss.
-You’re still writing our story?-Sangwon asks with a smile.
-Of course. I want it to be perfect. After all… it has a happy ending, doesn’t it?
I tilt my head, and he laughs.
-Yes, Xin. It does. And I’ve been the happiest man alive for two years now.
He kisses my forehead and heads toward the kitchen so we can start cooking dinner together.
Minseo and Sangwon broke up the day after our argument. She had cheated on him with several guys. Sangwon drowned himself in alcohol at first, then slowly learned to trust people again with my help.
After the fever-induced hallucinations of pneumonia, I recovered too.
Sangwon and I avoided each other for months. We probably still would, if our best friends hadn’t locked us inside the gym storage room for a few hours.
But in the end, we’ve been together for two years now.
Sangwon came out as bisexual to his parents, who accepted him without hesitation and adore me to this day. My parents are happy that I finally found my happiness.
We argue sometimes, but we’ve never broke up. We’re mature enough now to talk things through.
Seoul is still rainy and damp at times, sometimes cold too.
But on those days, we curl up together, watching movies with mugs of hot chocolate in our hands.
Because we both secretly love these cheesy, cliché moments.